The hot dream that triggered the twin flame thing

I had cut my connections to spirit so I could do the "Women Who Run With Wolves" thing; into the dark depths, the subconscious, Hades, Sheol, wilderness within, the dark forest. I rewilded. Now I'm reconnecting with spirit aspects and it is oh, so yummy!
Woke from a dream; The stage set with knowing I had experienced meeting a spirit previously but couldn't really hear him. I go shopping and purchase a wooden item with a symbol engraved in it because the symbol is somehow familiar along with some household cleaning supplies. He shows up and I drop the bags at an old friend's house. I wave away the background noise and can hear him clearly this time. The symbol is engraved upon his body. It represents his "name". He has to go do something, so I'll just go retrieve my purchases. "Don't bother"; he says. shrug. nothing better to do, so I go anyways. Friends look around for them. I notice it shouldn't be that hard to find them. I ask my friend if she had children. "No" and I get the full picture; her life went to shit after I left, she wasn't doing nearly as well as I had thought she would have. She feels a lot of resentment towards me. I go to her mother to inquire about that. Her mother jumps up before I get a word out; "Fine! We returned your stuff, took the money and bought stuff for ourselves, but we got you this life size doll", which she slams down in front of me. I wasn't really worried about the purchases, but yeah, that was a lousy thing to do.
next dream; when it was time to walk out the door, the children hadn't put on their shoes. They'd follow, but they wouldn't prepare adequately. They're indifferent about it all.
I looked up the name of that spirit It means "God is my oath handsome protector of the monarch". He proved his name by intention of protecting me from old friends.
Angel erotica, swam in it for some time after waking from that interaction so much so that I couldn't for a minute recall why my neighbor had knocked and woke me,😄 We had a whole interaction I didn't really connect with😄
Sure enough, a group I returned to in order to check on their progress, I got an aggressive response from. I had "purchased" from them information on the legalities of living without SS#, birth certificate, freedom, sovereignty, etc. Helpful before I was introduced to The Law of Attraction business. So, not really any longer of great value, no longer need those tools. Point is: the nature of the spirit was proven. He da bomb!
Delightedly, lusciously, excitedly back in the saddle again with a whole lot more clarity and thus capabilities.

OMG! New twin flame perspective

For some reason this phone camera really sucks no matter what I do with the settings.🙄 Anyhoo....

That old flame of a sort of magenta purple flame entwined with the indigo blue flame came up for me again today. It kept showing up in different forms of the same colors intertwining. For example; angels of each of those colors embracing. I have the strong feeling of "twin flame", which I don't believe in traditionally. My only experience of it was not quite my own, it was of the

spirit "walk in" from my birth. For them it wasn't even one spirit halved, it was an agreement to each hold for the other a key. When this flame began appearing to me in my mind's eye, it was after that and came with the question; "Ready for your marriage?". Research only turned up references to flame of transformation. Drawing it today, the roots are thicker, the flames larger, thicker. For once, the twin flame energy is actually exciting me and suddenly I'm knowing, not only believing. He's come for me! I still don't believe in one soul having been sliced in two and then lost. It's more a "cut from the same cloth", "brother from another mother" concept.
Just for shits and giggles, two rabbits just burst out of the dark into the security lights to leap up, intertwine, and run off frolicking right before me. Loving my affirming reality!💖

No, I'm NOT flattered, sister

No, I'm not suddenly going to be your best friend because there's a new girl on the block to gang up on. This is why I had very few female friends in high school. I saw them all backstab each other, kiss and make up only to get in another fight again. Their friendships were based on common enmity. It's the norm to feel relieved to finally be accepted when a new "threat" to their self image moves in, but it's not MY norm. I'm not threatened by new. I'm more likely to reach out to her in friendship, take her under my wing. If I come to hate her attitude or actions, it'll be on my own terms and I STILL won't want to be friends with you. If you "win her over"; I've probably already tired of her dependency and will be happy. You just got more of you at no loss to me. I suppose that's why at our senior banquet a class apology was read addressed to me. They never could turn me.
Ha! Like my daughter stated for herself the other day; "I have NOT been broken!".
"unbowed, unbent, unbroken"- House of Martel, Game of Thrones
The thing is; it's almost always about men. New girl in school is "fresh meat" for the guys who want to make the girlfriend jealous, competitive types to compete over, nerds hoping one for them may have finally arrived. Every new girl gets the attention as potential projection material for all their fetishes. The man in my present scenario? He views us all as daughters and we all know that "Daddy's little girl" syndrome. He's just got that sincere protective, nurturing about him. If you're in need of a daddy, he's great material. I'd definitely recommend him and wouldn't ridicule a grown woman's need for such as him. Way too much wounded feminine to go about depriving one another of a good male figure. I'm just not in the market for one; I dadied myself. I'm in the market for peers with mutual respect and appreciation for friendship and support as equals.

Just flirting?

Do you know WHY we don't engage in nor express appreciation for 'Playful flirting' that includes comments such as "Aren't you cold?" ' It's too hot out to be doing that' "oh, I know you; you were being a bad girl" or any sort of mock concern or criticism? We're conditioned to respond with a giggle or playful swat and comment "Oh, you know I don't do that!". Play flirting, as with children playing, is relationship rehearsal. In those men's minds, the woman who responds "correctly" is contractually agreeing to play the submissive role in the relationship to follow. Any expression of empowerment by her in the commencement of the relationship is going to be dismissed with his new (in his mind) agreed to authority and perceived as a punitive violation. You're just PMS'n, "out of hand", drunk, on drugs, in a bad mood, taking something out on him unfairly, etc. At first, it starts as passive aggressive comments an unwary female mistakes for more flirting "our relationship is still alive": she may preen. Abusive behavior to correct/punish her ensues; cold shoulder, walking out, threatening "privileges", "hot"/domineering sex, etc. At first, it's more passive aggressive and unwarily taken as relationship "fire"/passion still alive. We may actually get turned on by it....until we learn what's really happening. When met sexually with matching anger/dominance, he snidely remarks "I thought you needed that venting"; taking credit, presenting a smirking doing you a favor attitude that puts him back in control again.
So, yeah, I beaver block that shit. A whole-hearted, lusty, "I KNOW you're not serious" laugh will usually do it if he's intelligent and has any sense of self respect. If he doesn't, a verbal slap of self defense or drink in the face can do the trick. Started a barroom brawl like that as a teen while guy friends shielded me and rushed me through the back so I wouldn't get hit; they took care of that. They had fun dishing a beat down and made safe my escape. win-win. There ARE honorable warriors out there. I'll wait for him.

Knife advice leads to a Warrior's Marriage

My daughter has your type, though not BG. I'll have to demo with mine. Once flicked open, turn blade outward. This works as a defensive shield and a slash with stab as comeback stroke. To pass a knife to someone so they can't slice your hand while pulling it out of it; make sure blade is facing away from palm.
Matthew Gehrig
Gratitude to 🐺 of Slab City for teaching me and entrusting me with his blade until I got my own 💖 I HAVE actually used it to scare a guy off and dress a
wild hog without cutting myself! Reflecting back with such fondness, it's kinda sad; he chose to continue as an allowance whore to his wifely pimp. Hasn't she got it coming when he gets his own money and starts commanding her like he did when he knew he had my bed to fall back in when she locked him out of the house in her pouting fit because her friend turned down her offered upgrade to sex partner. She'll get off on it for a bit and he'll spend the rest of his days convincing himself he's content. He'd have made an awesome right hand warrior. ooooo, yummy ceremony idea: I wear a band on my left ring finger from when I married myself. A band offered to my right hand ring finger would be an offer from warrior proposing to be my "right hand Man" and I his. I'm liking it.
Yeah, I wander, it keeps me busy.

Back in the saddle again!

     My laptop crashed irretrievably, taking my partially written book, photos, and documents with it. Ahhh! (laughing) So, it's been a while; two years! oh, the adventures this little blog has missed! in the months following my last post, I left public housing, worked on a world class horse ranch, test drove a community and decided to "get the message"; it's the traveler's life for me. we stayed in national forests and other free campsites. We spent 7 months in Slab City, Niland, California where we added two albino rats and a dog to our family. We traveled a bit more, spent the summer months forming a "Tribal Village" based on gifting and consent cultures. Our van broke down and stranded us in a town where we're in transitional housing. I'm coming to you on a borrowed laptop. I added Crone to maiden and mother aspects which is gifting me with greater clarity and fearlessness. This adds confidence to my boldness. Having gone inward to make my conscious aware of and in good relationship with my subconscious, I'm once again integrating spirit interactions in a whole new way.
    It's a bright and beautiful day! Another "Another New Beginning" in The Etymology of Me.

Moving things along.....

Neo primitivism, anarcho-primitivism, gifting culture (which it turns out is not an economy so "gifting economy' cannot exist), re-wilding with the vibe of thriving on an Earth that does grow enough in her wilds to sustain us. Feeling the clean, the free, as I love what arises in conflict with it and let it go. Aligning myself with the dream and the primal need. Making connections with those resonating in that same flow. once again feeling like I am getting the hang of things.