I felt a sharp pain across my abdomen today and so I lay down to rest. I did what I always do to relax myself and let sleep in: I opened my "third eye" and watched the faces scroll by. That's usually all it is, faces..unless I'm someplace like Louisiana, then there are other things moving among the people's projections and spirits, then it's like "wow! They really do exist!".
Instead I found myself looking through a pair of eyes as the person cherishngly kissed an infant's head and tightened the blanket around him(?). Then the panic kicked in. I was propelled out of her to see a woman in a blue and white patterned dress, cinched at the waist with a blue belt (maybe?). She had dark hair.The panic was still so great, my body was squirming in my bed and I began to try to look away before I decided to allow the experience in.
She was on the roof of a building. She was panicked over how to climb down the metal ladder wiht only one hand, in skirt and heels while holding the baby safely. I remembered the warm feeling of what it is like to have a tall, strong man whom I love wrap his arms around me from behind. I sent that feeling to encompass her. I remembered what I do to silence my mind to keep it from feeding my fears with thoughts about what could happen...I tapped into my core and brought up sounds for my mind to interpret. It usually begins with "Hey", followed by whatever my brain interprets the feeling of, usually mono syllables....ya, ey, ah, oh,ee....After a moment I myself did not have to hold the calm. I continued to sing to her until she reached people who would look to her safety and well-being. I promptly and easily feel asleep.
Somewhere in this world, on this day, a woman sent out a prayer, felt an angel at her back and a song in her head, miraculously keeping her safe.
Today, I allowed my oneness to use me in this way and face the bad experiences I've had allowing this in the past. It reinforces the reason one should NOT pray for/to anything outside of themselves. If one prays to God, anything perceiving it's self as god can be drawn in and answer. I have rescued people from demon harassment in the in-betweens...caught between dreaming and full waking. I have seen through the eyes of a canine as it came to two women's rescue. I have seen through the eyes of eagles, birds soaring along cliffs. I've also seen through the eyes of an under ground rodent just before a snake swallowed it head first. I've been caught up in a suicide intent and placed a gun to my own head as they had to theirs, seen through the eyes of people having sex when one of them wished it was with me. Then I've seen through the eyes of an animal that remembered me while my daughter who was alienated from me asked her father about me and he answered her with lies as he caressed her hair. I have been one with entities chasing things off other people. I have seen another planet as an entity that was one with me returned her consciousness to her body. I have looked through the eyes of a woman in a shallow grave as her boyfriend shoveled dirt on her...the land sharing with me it's memories. While someone was teaching me how to find and harvest wild ginseng, I saw through the eyes of a rodent as it looked up at some...damn it! it suddenly strikes me that it might be the same rodent whose eyes I was looking through when it was swallowed by the snake and I Know that snake! The bugger of it! lol
So it is that I always stay within during distress and if I am reaching telepathically (prayerfully) outside of me, I direct it VERY specifically.
In this case, the woman's desire caught me answering the psychic/telepathic energy hotline instead of a parasite that would have been interested in increasing her fear to feed off it. Might have even saved her life.
I guess I'm on the job again..........
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
Monday, February 27, 2017
Watching "Haven"
I had the joy of taking a literature course in college on Stephen King's writings. It was fun, really. I'd go into the only room we smoked in. It was more a large closet with built in desk. I'd prop open the window, log into the chat room and watch comments scroll by while waiting for the professor to log in. Fellow classmates didn't realize that the professor could read the comments made before he logged in. lol..Some got snagged with less than supportive comments. One knew the professor logged in from home because sound was included and we could hear his children in the background. I totally appreciated the casual atmosphere which facilitated my choice to be a stay at home parent.
I left off reading Steven King literature over 10 years ago. He lost me with is accident and "Tower" series...not to mention I was over "horror". Now I am watching the series called "Haven" which is now available on Netflix and based on a book he has written called something like "The Colorado Kid". As one who has had "supernatural" experiences, I can totally appreciate the characters so readily accepting of the existence of the "abnormal" to conditioned society, and upon further reflection my own potential, the characters so very willing to compassionately protect the "abnormal" as innocents rather than mere perpetrators.
As one who has had the experiences of becoming immaterial, non-physical...in one case more of a "wisp", upon impulse and never consciously by pure will....
What if..........
What if it is those souls and spirits most inclined toward compassion that transition into that which is perceived as abnormal?
What if it is those souls and spirits who would find the transition most difficult to come back from that are given to play the role of the self-righteous "normal", "mundane" people?
When creation tires of the endless strife, when the end game comes......
We now know predators play a vital role of taking the weak, diseased and the "loss" of them fertilizes the greens.
Basically::: what if those most predisposed to (most easily called back to) compassion, are those who become the "supernatural demons"? What if you suddenly had vampiric impulses?
I left off reading Steven King literature over 10 years ago. He lost me with is accident and "Tower" series...not to mention I was over "horror". Now I am watching the series called "Haven" which is now available on Netflix and based on a book he has written called something like "The Colorado Kid". As one who has had "supernatural" experiences, I can totally appreciate the characters so readily accepting of the existence of the "abnormal" to conditioned society, and upon further reflection my own potential, the characters so very willing to compassionately protect the "abnormal" as innocents rather than mere perpetrators.
As one who has had the experiences of becoming immaterial, non-physical...in one case more of a "wisp", upon impulse and never consciously by pure will....
What if..........
What if it is those souls and spirits most inclined toward compassion that transition into that which is perceived as abnormal?
What if it is those souls and spirits who would find the transition most difficult to come back from that are given to play the role of the self-righteous "normal", "mundane" people?
When creation tires of the endless strife, when the end game comes......
We now know predators play a vital role of taking the weak, diseased and the "loss" of them fertilizes the greens.
Basically::: what if those most predisposed to (most easily called back to) compassion, are those who become the "supernatural demons"? What if you suddenly had vampiric impulses?
Physical illness
I used to avoid those who were physically ill. I was so very uncomfortable around them. I just didn't know what to do. I, myself, had abnormally good health and "supernatural" physical experiences that preserved in perfect form the physical experience.
Tonight I am given to believe I have been given some insight on physical illness that may indeed expand our perspective concerning it.
I had cured myself of allergies by identifying the irritant. So, I believed as many do that disease is dis-ease....a discomfort within one's experience. As far as my allergies were concerned, that proved completely true. I had my answer......in that case, anyways.
Physical trauma or discomfort can cause us to do many things, two of those things is to either detach from the body (physical experience) or keep us so pre-occupied with the discomfort we are grounded by it. (Of course some simply have chosen to to die and any physical discomfort is their "natural" progression of physical decaying to that end, some experience it as part of a spiritual or physical initiation).
If one is pre-disposed to a more physical, grounded experience, a NDE (near death experience) would be what opens them up to the non-physical aspects of existence. If one is pre-disposed to empathize more with the non-physical aspect of our existence, physical discomfort may keep us grounded within the physical experience.
An addiction to hallucinogens may aid those too grounded to accept a non-physical aspect while something like alcohol and cigarette smoking may ground those more empathetic with the non-physical. Frankly, the most intuitive, psychic, empathically aware people I've known have all smoked and had a drink at least now and then.
Basically, only our empathic, intuitive, awareness of the more subtle energy bodies absent of judgement can honestly say what any physical deviation may be...sign of "problem", solution
to a problem or simply a "natural" occurrence along the road to a "natural" death.
Tonight I am given to believe I have been given some insight on physical illness that may indeed expand our perspective concerning it.
I had cured myself of allergies by identifying the irritant. So, I believed as many do that disease is dis-ease....a discomfort within one's experience. As far as my allergies were concerned, that proved completely true. I had my answer......in that case, anyways.
Physical trauma or discomfort can cause us to do many things, two of those things is to either detach from the body (physical experience) or keep us so pre-occupied with the discomfort we are grounded by it. (Of course some simply have chosen to to die and any physical discomfort is their "natural" progression of physical decaying to that end, some experience it as part of a spiritual or physical initiation).
If one is pre-disposed to a more physical, grounded experience, a NDE (near death experience) would be what opens them up to the non-physical aspects of existence. If one is pre-disposed to empathize more with the non-physical aspect of our existence, physical discomfort may keep us grounded within the physical experience.
An addiction to hallucinogens may aid those too grounded to accept a non-physical aspect while something like alcohol and cigarette smoking may ground those more empathetic with the non-physical. Frankly, the most intuitive, psychic, empathically aware people I've known have all smoked and had a drink at least now and then.
Basically, only our empathic, intuitive, awareness of the more subtle energy bodies absent of judgement can honestly say what any physical deviation may be...sign of "problem", solution
to a problem or simply a "natural" occurrence along the road to a "natural" death.
Saturday, February 25, 2017
My vagina is racist!
For spiritual and educational development...if 18 yrs old and/or have parental consent.....disclaimers!
O.K., so maybe not precisely...I shall give the facts honestly.
Baby daddy..Native American and Native American /African American decent.....all is well and healthy. After 4 yrs, white boy ...raging bacterial imbalance.
So maybe after 4 yrs I am anxious. White man medicine brought it back into balance.
Ahhh. The year of liberation!
Mexican-American, African-American, African-American....."Once you go black, you never go back!...white boy, FUCK! bacterial imbalance again!" White man medicine..all is well again.
The common quotient is not race specifically, it is innocence. The white man is completely and devastatingly emasculated of his innocence. To be a ruler, no trace of the child within must exist. The "marginalized" races are best kept "reactive"/innocent/immature so that they may be portrayed as "irrational". In these, the innocent is easily engaged. It is eager to be liberated. The innocence is immortal, whole and "clean". It resonates with me.
It is simply that much easier to access without conflict/imbalance.
So, is my vagina racist? No, it is innocence prejudiced. Innocence seems to be more accessible to the "marginalized" races and so "marginalized" races resonate with me.
Editing months later to add: it happened again and I asked the doc about this correlation between the races and my body's response. She said that yes, white men, especially in rural areas like this are most likely to blame any sexual health matters on women and not get themselves checked, whereas the marginalized races live in more urban areas and are more likely to get themselves checked out. So, validated: the "acidic" attitude toward women of right wing, middle aged men destroys the acidic balance of their semen, then her vaginal environment and thus causes bacteria to become imbalanced. Because a man is less likely to show any kind of symptoms of any kind of sexual imbalance, from acidic levels, bacterial imbalances to sexually transmitted diseases, they are more easily convinced they could never be the problem, it is always the woman.
O.K., so maybe not precisely...I shall give the facts honestly.
Baby daddy..Native American and Native American /African American decent.....all is well and healthy. After 4 yrs, white boy ...raging bacterial imbalance.
So maybe after 4 yrs I am anxious. White man medicine brought it back into balance.
Ahhh. The year of liberation!
Mexican-American, African-American, African-American....."Once you go black, you never go back!...white boy, FUCK! bacterial imbalance again!" White man medicine..all is well again.
The common quotient is not race specifically, it is innocence. The white man is completely and devastatingly emasculated of his innocence. To be a ruler, no trace of the child within must exist. The "marginalized" races are best kept "reactive"/innocent/immature so that they may be portrayed as "irrational". In these, the innocent is easily engaged. It is eager to be liberated. The innocence is immortal, whole and "clean". It resonates with me.
It is simply that much easier to access without conflict/imbalance.
So, is my vagina racist? No, it is innocence prejudiced. Innocence seems to be more accessible to the "marginalized" races and so "marginalized" races resonate with me.
Editing months later to add: it happened again and I asked the doc about this correlation between the races and my body's response. She said that yes, white men, especially in rural areas like this are most likely to blame any sexual health matters on women and not get themselves checked, whereas the marginalized races live in more urban areas and are more likely to get themselves checked out. So, validated: the "acidic" attitude toward women of right wing, middle aged men destroys the acidic balance of their semen, then her vaginal environment and thus causes bacteria to become imbalanced. Because a man is less likely to show any kind of symptoms of any kind of sexual imbalance, from acidic levels, bacterial imbalances to sexually transmitted diseases, they are more easily convinced they could never be the problem, it is always the woman.
Friday, February 24, 2017
My re-wilded child
hmmmm..warm, humorous, pre-knowing
I set out to undo damage. I set out to "Radically whole life unschool". I set out to "re-wild", make "feral"....to set free my children. I set out to allow them to be their most pure, authentic selves as I could manage with my own conditioning.
This child is wild. She hunches over as she runs, as she interacts and dodges unwanted interactions. She hisses and growls. She squats when she eats: on the kitchen floor or perched upon a bench.
She is sovereign. She shrugs off touches. She abides no interference in her emotional journey of self. She does not want to be instructed. She responds violently to any insult or disrespect,
She asks me to tuck her in every night. She allows me to guide her. Though I told her nothing of Standing Rock, N.D., she drew a picture from her dreams of a blue pushing back a black snake trying to encircle the Earth. Autistic children will play with her for hours to the shock of their parents. She gets along very well with the resourceful aka "trouble" children. She is still connected, present, "in touch" with the rest of humanity.
She lives in her own little world from which she is not easily distracted.addressed and despises interference in it and yet she is sooo profoundly connected, on-the-spot intuitive/accurate in people's intentions.
She is sensuous....."I want my hair down, I want it uncombed, I want to feel it on my back". Don't you dare fucking touch her! She'll say so in those exact words.
She loves playing Minecraft. She is not sheltered from the world. She is not sheltered from society. She is simply allowed to engage or not at her discretion, preference, inclination, inspiration without indoctrination.
It is just so simply a beautiful thing to witness.
I set out to undo damage. I set out to "Radically whole life unschool". I set out to "re-wild", make "feral"....to set free my children. I set out to allow them to be their most pure, authentic selves as I could manage with my own conditioning.
This child is wild. She hunches over as she runs, as she interacts and dodges unwanted interactions. She hisses and growls. She squats when she eats: on the kitchen floor or perched upon a bench.
She is sovereign. She shrugs off touches. She abides no interference in her emotional journey of self. She does not want to be instructed. She responds violently to any insult or disrespect,
She asks me to tuck her in every night. She allows me to guide her. Though I told her nothing of Standing Rock, N.D., she drew a picture from her dreams of a blue pushing back a black snake trying to encircle the Earth. Autistic children will play with her for hours to the shock of their parents. She gets along very well with the resourceful aka "trouble" children. She is still connected, present, "in touch" with the rest of humanity.
She lives in her own little world from which she is not easily distracted.addressed and despises interference in it and yet she is sooo profoundly connected, on-the-spot intuitive/accurate in people's intentions.
She is sensuous....."I want my hair down, I want it uncombed, I want to feel it on my back". Don't you dare fucking touch her! She'll say so in those exact words.
She loves playing Minecraft. She is not sheltered from the world. She is not sheltered from society. She is simply allowed to engage or not at her discretion, preference, inclination, inspiration without indoctrination.
It is just so simply a beautiful thing to witness.
Tuesday, February 14, 2017
Sexual expression----the awkward years
As I hit the point of ponderence I am about to share, a weather worn $5 bill was brought to my attention, all camoflauged in the dry dead grass it had to have recently blown there from where ever it had been hibernating under the snow that has now melted......I must be onto something! Fair warning: has to do with human sexuality, is for educational spiritual self exploration purposes.....continue on if over 18 or have parental permission...trigger warnings and all that disclaiming (insert eye rolling) Don't put me in facebook prison again! lol
I am given to begin where my reflections hit their stride. The illustration in the bible where Jesus' disciple walked on water just fine until he realized what he was doing. How many times in life have we expressed amazement at what someone was doing only to see them then drop the ball, fall or lose it?
Our sexual responses can be the same way. If what to expect is not explained to us, we have someone witnessing something completely new, unusual, foreign and thus possibly even frightening about us. The first warm gush of female ejaculation...."did you just pee all over me?", embarrassment, you bet she won't be doing that on you again!
Add to that societal view of mentruation, wet spots on pants....
I have extremely strong vaginal muscles and it ain't from doing Kiegals. Thos emuscles do not EVER truly relax unless on a toilet and even then, just as soon as urination is complete, they're automatically clenching again.
Now what if your observation is open, in a state of wonder and delight at the body's obvious openness and pleasure and that person in whom you are so impressed shrinks from it? What has happened there?
Our society, especially the school system and insecure people in social settings are focused on dumbing down, on making small again that which shows unusual talent, stands out. One can quickly learn good attention draws abuse. Especially if someone has been sexually abused, they wil begin to shrink into themselves and shut you out because they can't be awesome and then stay shut down and push you away because they are remembering they are "dirty" and their sexual parts are not safe.
So now we have an absolutely dynamic adult ready to stop playing small, allowing themselves to stand out, allowing responses of delight and expression of affection, all the attention you want to shower on them..........and they meet the old nemisis...violence. Not intentionally meant to be so, but so many expect their partner to lose themselves in them and their vision and their needs and their wants. For example the man who experiences the absolute freedom of an open woman and begins to share with her his picture of what he wants the relationship to become "You'll cook for me and have my babies and rub my feet after a hard day's work"......bye now!
So free flowing to hear "SHHHH! No! I have a girlfriend, she'll find out!"....bye now
They ALL begin as free flowing...something new, something unusually beautiful......until they reach their limit of where they'll allow themselves to go for their own reasons, due to their own wounds, their own insecurities and then they shame you, condmen you, shut you down...if you let them.
So now we must stand up for ourselves, state our assertion and conviction that we want a different reality. Challenges to it are simply the universe asking "Are you sure?"
"Hell, yeah, I'm sure!"
It HAS to get better than this because I am no longer accepting anything less!
"Is this less"
"Fuck yeah, that's less!"
lol
The universe can be an ornery old man at times........
Dude, I want all in!
I'm no longer afraid to ask for it. I know I have "the right" to ask for it.
I'm sure there's more to that story, but for an afternoon, we've gotten onto something which might could be very healing!
I am given to begin where my reflections hit their stride. The illustration in the bible where Jesus' disciple walked on water just fine until he realized what he was doing. How many times in life have we expressed amazement at what someone was doing only to see them then drop the ball, fall or lose it?
Our sexual responses can be the same way. If what to expect is not explained to us, we have someone witnessing something completely new, unusual, foreign and thus possibly even frightening about us. The first warm gush of female ejaculation...."did you just pee all over me?", embarrassment, you bet she won't be doing that on you again!
Add to that societal view of mentruation, wet spots on pants....
I have extremely strong vaginal muscles and it ain't from doing Kiegals. Thos emuscles do not EVER truly relax unless on a toilet and even then, just as soon as urination is complete, they're automatically clenching again.
Now what if your observation is open, in a state of wonder and delight at the body's obvious openness and pleasure and that person in whom you are so impressed shrinks from it? What has happened there?
Our society, especially the school system and insecure people in social settings are focused on dumbing down, on making small again that which shows unusual talent, stands out. One can quickly learn good attention draws abuse. Especially if someone has been sexually abused, they wil begin to shrink into themselves and shut you out because they can't be awesome and then stay shut down and push you away because they are remembering they are "dirty" and their sexual parts are not safe.
So now we have an absolutely dynamic adult ready to stop playing small, allowing themselves to stand out, allowing responses of delight and expression of affection, all the attention you want to shower on them..........and they meet the old nemisis...violence. Not intentionally meant to be so, but so many expect their partner to lose themselves in them and their vision and their needs and their wants. For example the man who experiences the absolute freedom of an open woman and begins to share with her his picture of what he wants the relationship to become "You'll cook for me and have my babies and rub my feet after a hard day's work"......bye now!
So free flowing to hear "SHHHH! No! I have a girlfriend, she'll find out!"....bye now
They ALL begin as free flowing...something new, something unusually beautiful......until they reach their limit of where they'll allow themselves to go for their own reasons, due to their own wounds, their own insecurities and then they shame you, condmen you, shut you down...if you let them.
So now we must stand up for ourselves, state our assertion and conviction that we want a different reality. Challenges to it are simply the universe asking "Are you sure?"
"Hell, yeah, I'm sure!"
It HAS to get better than this because I am no longer accepting anything less!
"Is this less"
"Fuck yeah, that's less!"
lol
The universe can be an ornery old man at times........
Dude, I want all in!
I'm no longer afraid to ask for it. I know I have "the right" to ask for it.
I'm sure there's more to that story, but for an afternoon, we've gotten onto something which might could be very healing!
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