The East Star Rises heralding a second coming, the bull gives way to the woman in the hearts of men.
"I am the Alpha and the Omega", he is the bull and the cross, the first and last symbols of the Jewish alphabet. "It will be taken from you and given to another", the Israelites are told in prophesy by the voice of the Mother who had chosen the aboriginal peoples of the Americas over the people her son had chosen. Just as in the book of Revelation where at the end we hear both the voice of the lamb and the bright and morning star, throughout all prophesy we can hear their voices, her chiming in after his declarations. She is the Source of all creation and by her will alone did he even come into existence. And so now the woman whose will became a bull, rises again in the hearts of men as the bull gives way to her existence within creation.
Is our sun not a star? Does she not rise in the East?
More comes to me as I begin to see how this will happen and I rejoice a bit mockingly "Isn't it nice how they have begun to clean up our land for us before they go back to their own? And they thought they were doing it to serve their own purposes.......
As we allow this energy, spirit of matrilineal sovereignty rise within us, they will begin to flee from our presence, not even themselves fully able to understand why it is so uncomfortable to be standing in the light surrounding them. They will turn their heads to snap at us like dogs with tucked in tails between their legs, but their bite will be no real challenge when we realize what is happening. So, if they start a rumor or send a challenge, call names or do something that would have normally gotten on our nerves, know it as a sign of their leaving.
Friday, May 31, 2013
The Call from the East
This began as an open letter to those serving in the military, flowed into what it means to be a sovereign entity and to be a Native American............
To all true Americans serving in the military:
It is time to come home. It is time to serve and protect your people from a government that has overstepped it's bounds putting it's self into too much debt, subjecting us to outside authorities. It is time to protect us from overbearing government agencies and the minions it has created in it's counselors, teachers, and scientists. I am a citizen whom you swore to protect and defend from enemies foreign AND domestic.
Your children are hungry. They are hungry for a sense of safety, security, health and well-being, a spiritual connection to things.
Spirit came to me and bid me remember my childhood, the streams, the water I drink. My body is 80% water taken from this land. I am bid to notice the pot in which I boil that water, coated in minerals. The other 20% of my body is made up of those minerals it takes from the water which has rained down, drawn the minerals from the soil and been drawn back up out of a well to serve my body. The rest of the food I eat is simply "fossil fuel" my body burns to run it's engine.
I am bid to think about our food and the eating of it: one year we must no longer eat eggs, they are bad for us full of cholesterol. The next we must eat more eggs, it turns out they are high in protein. One year we must not eat butter and instead use margarine. Then we must not use margarine but return to eating butter. Which is it? It is not the food making the people sick, it is the terror with which they eat it. And this fear comes from our government, it's "scientific findings", it's warnings, it's regulations based on this ability to terrorize us into requesting this guidance which leads to confusion: your children are hungry for clarity.
When I stand outside or feel a breeze through an open door or window I FEEL the earth, the wind and the trees. I feel the rich green grass and the birds that are singing. I am a part of it and it is a part of me. As a child I spent most of my days wandering the surface of the earth alone, somehow knowing which plants I could pick in the fields to eat. I wandered in the woods and without fear or doubt I drank from fresh springs. As a budding young woman I swam naked in it's streams at peace in my surroundings. The land and Spirit call out to me: drink! Tell the people, it is time to set themselves free.
It shares it's story.... How we were young and innocent, naïve about many things but learning about sovereignty and what that truly means. Then came the white man with their imported water fermented in patriarchal spirits. this illusion of power seduced our men who became high on these spirits beating their women and children...their connection to earth AND Spirit. It seduced our women with it's air of authority, something we had been lacking in earnest. We sought to learn from them and to teach them what we ourselves did not even know yet. We acted in ignorance. But now we have the answers we were seeking. It is time to cast off the white man's system of patriarchy and domination, returning to the ways of women being our connection to authority, knowledge and understanding of things.
We owe no one anything. We are not in debt to anybody. Foreign governments invested knowing full well our constitution, taking a chance that the American people would not remember it and come to know exactly what it means to be sovereign citizens of a sovereign country. They gambled and lost because the government had no right to make any such commitments on our behalf. A stranger on the street cannot demand of another "give me money and you can get it back from her", pointing to me randomly. Neither can an elected official who I have not chosen take money from China and tell the Chinese government I would pay it back to them or that they can take me into service to compensate for it. It is time for those who claim we owe them to turn around, put their hands in their pockets, lick their wounds, chalk up their losses and start walking. I never voted for a single one of those elected officials. I never saw one worthy of choosing to represent me. My choice NOT to be a registered voter makes my hands clean of ANY agreements they have made and claim to have made on behalf of me.
Even if I had, NO TREATY or AGREEMENT is valid if it is made under duress. If we are afraid of losing something, threatened with violence or ANY form of loss or suffering, expressed or implied, if we do not agree to something, we are being forced against our own will into an agreement. The agreement is null. It is void. It is not an agreement. You do not threaten a woman with loss of her children when you already have them hostage if she does not agree to have sex with you and then sue her for being a whore because she did not scream in objection. We recognize this as rape and the raping of a woman does NOT give a man authority over that woman in any court of law he might stake a claim to her belongings in ......unless it is a white man's. That is why we must not turn to the courts for justification: they are not OUR government. they are European, patriarchal, poisoned and fermented with evil spirits. Their authority is not valid because it does not come through the women, the earth, Source and spirit in one clear connection.
One does not take a child, ask them to make a piece of paper pretty and to give them what they need then make them a slave to all sorts of abuses claiming they gave their consent and permission. Such an agreement is invalid. Ignorance IS a valid reason. There is no shame in admitting we were once children in our understanding. I am sure there is ample proof that white man knew of Native American child like innocence and ignorance to understanding the implications of their actions in the white man's imagination.
If you are a white man who FEELS this land, can openly admit with no shame in it that you depend upon a wife, a mother, your children, to keep yourself grounded and keep your spirits lifted, you ARE Native American. You know where the will comes from that makes you mighty and strong. You ARE wise, you ARE brave, you ARE strong and you ARE Native to America. It is time to shore up your connections to earth and spirit by protecting, defending and fighting for them.
Your children are being born with ADHD: anxiety experienced in the womb that drives a child to carry on in hyper vigilance when it leaves it because you have abandoned them emotionally, spiritually and physically. Your children are being born with autism: too afraid of everything, too afraid to leave a state of hyper vigilance to "come out of their own shell". Your children are born with cancer: fear eating away at them. They suffer from asthma: being to afraid to even remember how to breath every day. They suffer from allergies: are overwhelmed with irritation at having to eat and come into contact with this fearful environment, surrounded and full of everything they are told to be afraid of. They are killing one another and themselves, crying out for attention and acknowledgement of their condition. The earth it's self has pulled you off your feet with waves of water and you do not listen. It tries to shake some sense into you with earthquakes and you still do not listen. It strikes you with wind tearing up your houses and places of evil worship and yet you defy it. Now, it threatens to swallow you whole in sink holes......you will now listen.
If you are a red man and do not KNOW these things, you are nothing but a white man in a red man's skin sporting an ID card that says your heritage WAS Native American. Cast the white man out of your skin and become Native American.
A woman from England who calls herself an American citizen told me we live in a culture which she agrees with: that all it's citizens are "mandated reporters". We are to report anything we see other people do to their children that "concerns us" while we are out in public. NO. We have the right to privacy no matter where we are or what we are doing. Why do you not know to avert your eyes when in the presence of other people's matters of privacy? Why do you stare openly at the embarrassment of one being punished/arrested? Why do not avert your attention from the suffering already being attended at the site of an "accident"? A true, mature, responsible, sovereign person knows of discretion. They know what is and what is not their business. They teach by example and with discipline/guidance in whatever form is appropriate and needed to their children.
What of "elected officials", "representatives", "public servants" in a sovereign nation made up of sovereign people's? Servants don't get paid. We meet their needs but we do not give them a paycheck. So let us say for example someone volunteers to serve in California and the only one offering the means to travel is an Amish man with his horse and buggy? The representative accepts graciously and leaves a bit earlier than he would if he were taking a plane or car to the next session. But I can guarantee, a sovereign people who KNOW their representative WILL serve and protect their interests would most likely be flying first class all the way there while never taking such things for granted.
There are answers to everything if we look deep within. The road there, the way in, has been shown to me and paved clear for me. It is now time to access it, draw it forth and apply it. It is now time to BE Native American.
To all true Americans serving in the military:
It is time to come home. It is time to serve and protect your people from a government that has overstepped it's bounds putting it's self into too much debt, subjecting us to outside authorities. It is time to protect us from overbearing government agencies and the minions it has created in it's counselors, teachers, and scientists. I am a citizen whom you swore to protect and defend from enemies foreign AND domestic.
Your children are hungry. They are hungry for a sense of safety, security, health and well-being, a spiritual connection to things.
Spirit came to me and bid me remember my childhood, the streams, the water I drink. My body is 80% water taken from this land. I am bid to notice the pot in which I boil that water, coated in minerals. The other 20% of my body is made up of those minerals it takes from the water which has rained down, drawn the minerals from the soil and been drawn back up out of a well to serve my body. The rest of the food I eat is simply "fossil fuel" my body burns to run it's engine.
I am bid to think about our food and the eating of it: one year we must no longer eat eggs, they are bad for us full of cholesterol. The next we must eat more eggs, it turns out they are high in protein. One year we must not eat butter and instead use margarine. Then we must not use margarine but return to eating butter. Which is it? It is not the food making the people sick, it is the terror with which they eat it. And this fear comes from our government, it's "scientific findings", it's warnings, it's regulations based on this ability to terrorize us into requesting this guidance which leads to confusion: your children are hungry for clarity.
When I stand outside or feel a breeze through an open door or window I FEEL the earth, the wind and the trees. I feel the rich green grass and the birds that are singing. I am a part of it and it is a part of me. As a child I spent most of my days wandering the surface of the earth alone, somehow knowing which plants I could pick in the fields to eat. I wandered in the woods and without fear or doubt I drank from fresh springs. As a budding young woman I swam naked in it's streams at peace in my surroundings. The land and Spirit call out to me: drink! Tell the people, it is time to set themselves free.
It shares it's story.... How we were young and innocent, naïve about many things but learning about sovereignty and what that truly means. Then came the white man with their imported water fermented in patriarchal spirits. this illusion of power seduced our men who became high on these spirits beating their women and children...their connection to earth AND Spirit. It seduced our women with it's air of authority, something we had been lacking in earnest. We sought to learn from them and to teach them what we ourselves did not even know yet. We acted in ignorance. But now we have the answers we were seeking. It is time to cast off the white man's system of patriarchy and domination, returning to the ways of women being our connection to authority, knowledge and understanding of things.
We owe no one anything. We are not in debt to anybody. Foreign governments invested knowing full well our constitution, taking a chance that the American people would not remember it and come to know exactly what it means to be sovereign citizens of a sovereign country. They gambled and lost because the government had no right to make any such commitments on our behalf. A stranger on the street cannot demand of another "give me money and you can get it back from her", pointing to me randomly. Neither can an elected official who I have not chosen take money from China and tell the Chinese government I would pay it back to them or that they can take me into service to compensate for it. It is time for those who claim we owe them to turn around, put their hands in their pockets, lick their wounds, chalk up their losses and start walking. I never voted for a single one of those elected officials. I never saw one worthy of choosing to represent me. My choice NOT to be a registered voter makes my hands clean of ANY agreements they have made and claim to have made on behalf of me.
Even if I had, NO TREATY or AGREEMENT is valid if it is made under duress. If we are afraid of losing something, threatened with violence or ANY form of loss or suffering, expressed or implied, if we do not agree to something, we are being forced against our own will into an agreement. The agreement is null. It is void. It is not an agreement. You do not threaten a woman with loss of her children when you already have them hostage if she does not agree to have sex with you and then sue her for being a whore because she did not scream in objection. We recognize this as rape and the raping of a woman does NOT give a man authority over that woman in any court of law he might stake a claim to her belongings in ......unless it is a white man's. That is why we must not turn to the courts for justification: they are not OUR government. they are European, patriarchal, poisoned and fermented with evil spirits. Their authority is not valid because it does not come through the women, the earth, Source and spirit in one clear connection.
One does not take a child, ask them to make a piece of paper pretty and to give them what they need then make them a slave to all sorts of abuses claiming they gave their consent and permission. Such an agreement is invalid. Ignorance IS a valid reason. There is no shame in admitting we were once children in our understanding. I am sure there is ample proof that white man knew of Native American child like innocence and ignorance to understanding the implications of their actions in the white man's imagination.
If you are a white man who FEELS this land, can openly admit with no shame in it that you depend upon a wife, a mother, your children, to keep yourself grounded and keep your spirits lifted, you ARE Native American. You know where the will comes from that makes you mighty and strong. You ARE wise, you ARE brave, you ARE strong and you ARE Native to America. It is time to shore up your connections to earth and spirit by protecting, defending and fighting for them.
Your children are being born with ADHD: anxiety experienced in the womb that drives a child to carry on in hyper vigilance when it leaves it because you have abandoned them emotionally, spiritually and physically. Your children are being born with autism: too afraid of everything, too afraid to leave a state of hyper vigilance to "come out of their own shell". Your children are born with cancer: fear eating away at them. They suffer from asthma: being to afraid to even remember how to breath every day. They suffer from allergies: are overwhelmed with irritation at having to eat and come into contact with this fearful environment, surrounded and full of everything they are told to be afraid of. They are killing one another and themselves, crying out for attention and acknowledgement of their condition. The earth it's self has pulled you off your feet with waves of water and you do not listen. It tries to shake some sense into you with earthquakes and you still do not listen. It strikes you with wind tearing up your houses and places of evil worship and yet you defy it. Now, it threatens to swallow you whole in sink holes......you will now listen.
If you are a red man and do not KNOW these things, you are nothing but a white man in a red man's skin sporting an ID card that says your heritage WAS Native American. Cast the white man out of your skin and become Native American.
A woman from England who calls herself an American citizen told me we live in a culture which she agrees with: that all it's citizens are "mandated reporters". We are to report anything we see other people do to their children that "concerns us" while we are out in public. NO. We have the right to privacy no matter where we are or what we are doing. Why do you not know to avert your eyes when in the presence of other people's matters of privacy? Why do you stare openly at the embarrassment of one being punished/arrested? Why do not avert your attention from the suffering already being attended at the site of an "accident"? A true, mature, responsible, sovereign person knows of discretion. They know what is and what is not their business. They teach by example and with discipline/guidance in whatever form is appropriate and needed to their children.
What of "elected officials", "representatives", "public servants" in a sovereign nation made up of sovereign people's? Servants don't get paid. We meet their needs but we do not give them a paycheck. So let us say for example someone volunteers to serve in California and the only one offering the means to travel is an Amish man with his horse and buggy? The representative accepts graciously and leaves a bit earlier than he would if he were taking a plane or car to the next session. But I can guarantee, a sovereign people who KNOW their representative WILL serve and protect their interests would most likely be flying first class all the way there while never taking such things for granted.
There are answers to everything if we look deep within. The road there, the way in, has been shown to me and paved clear for me. It is now time to access it, draw it forth and apply it. It is now time to BE Native American.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
The End of All Things
As I stood outside my door I could feel the woods, the air in them, the birds and trees as if in the center of them I was standing. It is given to me in even more clear understanding how the rebellious spirits will be confined to bodies. No more thought projection and manipulations, no more invasions into humanity. Our minds will be at peace. I am reminded of how I was shown how it is that life can be ever sustained and flow within a closed system without going stagnant and stale, without death being a natural result. Like a water wheel constantly turning, being turned by the flowing waters of pure energy returning in rivers and streams to turn the wheel and flow back out sustaining, renewing, invigorating, always flowing and never moving. I reflected on my interactions during counseling. The counselor has decided to "take things slow", dragging out the process for four visits instead of the usual two required. The Buddhist is taking his time before his imprisonment-confinement to it's human body. And so I realized in these reflections of the interaction how the spirit, being male, was expressing authority not just by using the counselor to state it's beliefs but to influence my physiological experience during the interactions to intimidate me when I challenged "his" assertions". Ding! Recognition changes things, doesn't it? The Buddhist just lost it's authority. I chose not to believe my physiological responses and instead went with what I was learning during our meeting. Buddhist's imprisonment is starting. And that brought to me further understanding: that is the fate of rebellious angels, "people" and spirits. Confinement to the human body without the ability to do anything non-physically, they won't even be able to control their own bodies until they learn subjection in them. maybe for an eternity, of this I am not certain. And come to think of it, confinement isn't necessarily solely to human bodies, but could be any physical form really; a rock, a tree, a planet..... Anyways, beautiful experiences this morning.
Now, put it all together, everything we have been learning. If one is standing in the center of the earth, hollow in the core with maybe a sun, with land beneath their feet, held there by centrifugal force, let's say. That person looking down between their feet would perceive down as being into outer parts of the earth, the deepest parts of "hell" being the earth's surface. Now immortality is being given to humans and life "down there" (which is really out here) "where the worms never die". Now imagine your consciousness being confined to a tree in the middle of an immortally living tree, always hungry, always thirsty, always under a scorching sun, unable to speak and no one "speaking", not even "telepathically". You would definitely be on the outside heaven, the earth's center and outside of life, unable to participate in the fullness of it. The fullness of it in physical beings free to roam the earth's surface as well as having consiousnesses in heaven, with heavenly access, access to heaven. I think I might love immortality. I am enjoying the idea of it already ;) Though, if I knew I was going to end up a tree in the desert, I wouldn't be. Which reminds me of the Buddhist....which tree will he be? And what an evil taunting: to be given authority over me for a brief moment so it might witness my glory and have to live with THAT as it's last sight before entering an eternity: that which he despised, from which he desired release: the never ending cycle of reincarnation in these vessels "that bring nothing but suffering" (the premise for the Buddhist religion is extinction, the founders of it had that as their ultimate achievement, to go back into nothingness, non-existence, their idea of 'oneness' in contrast to a unity of life-sustaining freedom at one amongst the living which it just witnessed can be a delight-not a source of suffering-for spirit and humanity cha-ching!) Is that not what the one called Jesus said "First would be last and last be first", God would use the most despised thing to bring the haughty low? What is more detestable to a rebellious spirit than not just physical form, but human and woman? An "immoral" one on top of all things! And yet God proves her righteousness and glorifies her before them before sending them into eternal imprisonment with their own consciousness. Ho-humming innocently. God did say that in the end He WOULD taunt them as they had been taunting Him and humanity. Not bad for "animal skins", eh? The saucy woman winks. "God made me", boasting.
I am also reminded of what was revealed to me this past fall, season of enlightenment, bringing in of fruits-the idea/concept of a spirit being given a group of people. Scripture speaks of those princes who do not bring in their riches once a year during feast of tabernacles will have people covered in boils. So, there are those spirits with a little more freedom, a little less limitation not out rightly rebellious but treasonous and cannot be trusted fully, respond to a bit of discipline. maybe they have a problem with jealousy but never acted on it fully. They will have more than one vessel the act out their jealousy scenarios perpetually so long as they do not "go out of bounds" and remain in subjection to authority. Then there are those with sort of "master keys" consciousness, can access anything, really. They can be completely trusted, have all the ultimate freedoms and so require only one body. They are whole, not conflicted, unified within themselves, spirits of oneness. Cha-ching! I got it. *Boogy* Mastering this process, I think.
As the days pass under the insignia of the red dragon, I feel for a moment as if I am a champion prize fighter in a ring, ready for another boxing match. The universe calls up the next fighter who wonders if he should flee before he has to get into the ring with me. I realize they are being delivered to me as something upon which to sharpen my teeth. Did not I in the midst of release feel a deep drive from within insist: "prove me!". That is what it is with these challenges, opportunities to sharpen the teeth I am growing, to cement in fundamental truths and prove the universe will back me, giving me confidence, practice to make perfect and endurance. I am learning to uncover the underlying principles and stand alone in THEM, thing else, no arguments. And as I do, the universe empowers me. So will it take another to step into the ring, knees shaking at the fate that awaits them when I have finished sharpening my teeth upon them? Or are we heading into the big rings with even greater beasts upon which to sharpen my teeth?
Now, put it all together, everything we have been learning. If one is standing in the center of the earth, hollow in the core with maybe a sun, with land beneath their feet, held there by centrifugal force, let's say. That person looking down between their feet would perceive down as being into outer parts of the earth, the deepest parts of "hell" being the earth's surface. Now immortality is being given to humans and life "down there" (which is really out here) "where the worms never die". Now imagine your consciousness being confined to a tree in the middle of an immortally living tree, always hungry, always thirsty, always under a scorching sun, unable to speak and no one "speaking", not even "telepathically". You would definitely be on the outside heaven, the earth's center and outside of life, unable to participate in the fullness of it. The fullness of it in physical beings free to roam the earth's surface as well as having consiousnesses in heaven, with heavenly access, access to heaven. I think I might love immortality. I am enjoying the idea of it already ;) Though, if I knew I was going to end up a tree in the desert, I wouldn't be. Which reminds me of the Buddhist....which tree will he be? And what an evil taunting: to be given authority over me for a brief moment so it might witness my glory and have to live with THAT as it's last sight before entering an eternity: that which he despised, from which he desired release: the never ending cycle of reincarnation in these vessels "that bring nothing but suffering" (the premise for the Buddhist religion is extinction, the founders of it had that as their ultimate achievement, to go back into nothingness, non-existence, their idea of 'oneness' in contrast to a unity of life-sustaining freedom at one amongst the living which it just witnessed can be a delight-not a source of suffering-for spirit and humanity cha-ching!) Is that not what the one called Jesus said "First would be last and last be first", God would use the most despised thing to bring the haughty low? What is more detestable to a rebellious spirit than not just physical form, but human and woman? An "immoral" one on top of all things! And yet God proves her righteousness and glorifies her before them before sending them into eternal imprisonment with their own consciousness. Ho-humming innocently. God did say that in the end He WOULD taunt them as they had been taunting Him and humanity. Not bad for "animal skins", eh? The saucy woman winks. "God made me", boasting.
I am also reminded of what was revealed to me this past fall, season of enlightenment, bringing in of fruits-the idea/concept of a spirit being given a group of people. Scripture speaks of those princes who do not bring in their riches once a year during feast of tabernacles will have people covered in boils. So, there are those spirits with a little more freedom, a little less limitation not out rightly rebellious but treasonous and cannot be trusted fully, respond to a bit of discipline. maybe they have a problem with jealousy but never acted on it fully. They will have more than one vessel the act out their jealousy scenarios perpetually so long as they do not "go out of bounds" and remain in subjection to authority. Then there are those with sort of "master keys" consciousness, can access anything, really. They can be completely trusted, have all the ultimate freedoms and so require only one body. They are whole, not conflicted, unified within themselves, spirits of oneness. Cha-ching! I got it. *Boogy* Mastering this process, I think.
As the days pass under the insignia of the red dragon, I feel for a moment as if I am a champion prize fighter in a ring, ready for another boxing match. The universe calls up the next fighter who wonders if he should flee before he has to get into the ring with me. I realize they are being delivered to me as something upon which to sharpen my teeth. Did not I in the midst of release feel a deep drive from within insist: "prove me!". That is what it is with these challenges, opportunities to sharpen the teeth I am growing, to cement in fundamental truths and prove the universe will back me, giving me confidence, practice to make perfect and endurance. I am learning to uncover the underlying principles and stand alone in THEM, thing else, no arguments. And as I do, the universe empowers me. So will it take another to step into the ring, knees shaking at the fate that awaits them when I have finished sharpening my teeth upon them? Or are we heading into the big rings with even greater beasts upon which to sharpen my teeth?
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
A Dragon, 5 Babies and a Buddhist Headed for Imprisonment
I was brought from sleep into a vision: with 5 babies I was pregnant. The examiners marveled as they noticed the infants constantly went into a state of oneness, unity and heightened senses. Oh, this number of babies in the womb at once usually come early, I had better rest. How will I nurse so many babies? As one of the attendants spoke that people do it all the time, I realized they were tiny and would require little amounts of milk, I could pump and easily provide enough for them. Then a man, a Hindi, was being advised, a flash glimpse of a sentence: two choices, his was marked "imprisonment". I remembered in the beginning we were trying to decide on a sign under which the event of the children's birth would happen and I looked back to where the signs had been about to be chosen: two banners, two insignias, white or red dragon. Red was quickly chosen and as it was, there was a sound, like out of a Chinese action flick, sounded loudly. It was written, sealed in heaven.
Needless to say, this morning I began to scramble for understanding. Not always, OK hardly ever, proficient in understanding visions until long after they have happened. I researched the meaning of number 5 in dreams and thought I could handle the rest. 5 here applies in quickly coming, a change, and I know this is the appropriate application because that was what I had noted while experiencing the vision: they would come early. The oneness, the unity, I was to experience would come quickly and easily(small babies, easier birthing, as small as they looked, like they would slip out effortlessly). The man, a teacher, a spirit under whom I would be governed or guided, to assist in this lesson, this experience which would be earthly rather than purely spiritual as represented by the red dragon. It would involve a human being. The spirit is one that is headed for internment in the fire of transition rather than destruction. When he asked his advisor if he should flee, the advisor told him, no, you can take your time, go easy.
Eventually as I struggled with what all this might mean was about to happen, I got the feeling I was supposed to go to the store with a neighbor and get her something. Walking alongside the road the children ran well ahead of me. For once I was not overwhelmed. For once I did not take responsibility for the fear and worry they were causing. They were on the side of the road, on the correct side of the white line. I know that does not guarantee their safety should a car go out of bounds, but it was what God had happening. Breathe through it. Sure enough, a small child appearing to be alone running along so close to the side of the road made people anxious, cars stopping, passengers frowning and voicing their panic as they passed me, mouths obviously yapping. Typical of today's society and burdensome to a responsible sovereign, I could no longer carry their responsibility. Speaking out loud thoughts to myself at passing vehicles, I continued down the road calmly with confidence in what I was doing, with what was happening. Their fears are their responsibility......... it began to dawn on me as the episode ended how it applied to the vision and my physical, spiritual, and emotional condition.
From the time we are young we are constantly stopped what we are doing because it makes other people nervous. It became ingrained in me that I was responsible for the fears other people are having. I am NOT responsible for your fears or worries. God may cause me to be in your experience making you nervous simply to draw out your fear so YOU can deal with it. Yeah, sometimes as a mother I can't always pay attention to what my children are doing. That is where trust in God has to come in. That is where I can allow others to be the hand reaching out to grab them from oncoming traffic without feeling guilty. But if I am on top of things in the big picture, fulfilling my parental responsibilities, nothing bad should ever happen to my children until they reach an age of accountability, puberty, their own sovereignty. Hopefully they have been properly prepared for it. This is where their actions begin to have consequences for them, not me.
And so I realized how many times I have cramped up my stomach fretting over what everyone else was thinking, what they would worry about and trying to prevent that from happening so they don't take my children from me, judge me a bad parent. At the same time, I was projecting fear into my children, which they would eventually end up resenting and teaching them they are responsible for other people's actions of irresponsibility. NOT going to happen. So now I have lots of that pain that has accumulated from incident after incident of worry about what everyone else was thinking because my parenting (their perceiving a lack of it) was causing everyone else worry and judgement.
I also realized, God's little wild flower is becoming a full-blown Steel Magnolia ;)
This last change did come quickly, easily and did involve "attacks" from human beings. Quite the vision to explain a single day's happenings.
And in the meantime, momma took back her dignity in the form of a letter. And no, I don't care if I am doing things other people might consider embarrassing: talking thoughts out loud at traffic, dancing as I sing walking the roadside or shopping, wearing jewelry in manners people wouldn't find an appropriate application. I'm a mother on a mission: freedom for my children and really; there is no stopping me.
Duh me. Spirit tagging along for the episode, not as a teacher or guide for me but rather to be guided by the example I am providing before it is "imprisoned" in it's own physical body. I still keep forgetting I am no longer the student.
Later I realized this might not quite be the end of the story. The "Buddhist" is also representative of my counselor whom I have hired to provide a service in order to secure an income. It turns out that she is a mandated reporter. I am not intimidated by it and was not concerned about my qualifications as a parent. However, something about it "worried" me. Today I realized this specific feeling is not an inspired fear or me being afraid of something, it is a warning that I am in dangerous territory, the circumstances are not appropriate. It was probably appropriate I entered the circumstances unwittingly as I did so that I might come to this point of understanding my own body's feelings and perceptions of them, however continuing in this contractual relationship would definitely not be appropriate and that is for this reason: as a sovereign being I am violating my own sovereignty by contracting with someone in exchange for authority over me. A mandated reporter is required to express any concerns she would have in reference to me, to my ability to make my own decisions appropriately to my ability in making decisions concerning my children. I have no right to give up the authority that has been given me. If I violate this responsibility, this God-given right to sovereignty, I will be punished for it. Thank you but no thank you, I'm walking. This counselor happens to be a Buddhist with Christian religious practices, so the governing spirit over her is Buddhist, the Hindi. He will associate with me until his imprisonment/confinement within a human consciousness.
I also realized men or male spirits are born into sovereignty, a knowledge of it and for many an understanding of it. However, women or female spirits are born into subjection, or so we would be led to believe. However, when men help each other do anything, neither forfeits his sovereignty. They simply assist one another in a task in whatever way possible without any conditions. "Will you help me with this?" "Sure let me give you hand with that". Simple. Woman was made as a helper for man. He was to ahve in subjection to him the earth and it's inhabitants. That meant woman was also a sovereign being to have all things in subjection under her as well. She was simply given the added responsibility to help him. With added responsibilities comes additional rights. If ANYTHING, man was placed in subjection to woman by God's command and His purpose in her making. "It was not good for man to dwell alone". God saw it was not good for man to be a sovereign being, so He made a being within whom sovereignty would be appropriate. This is where I go "Holy Shit". It dawns on me as I write this. Sovereignty should be perfectly natural to a woman, however we have never been encouraged to practice it traditionally, don't know it's rules nor it's rights and responsibilities. Dying due to ignorance. Women aren't saved by childbearing, we are saved in becoming "men", or what men believe themselves to be in reference to women. Women are saved in claiming and practicing their sovereignty.
I realize also that this principle also applies to the human being and spirit (body is female and spirit is male in spirit world language): "animal skins" or the human body, flesh and blood were given for spirits to wear due to their disobedience, to help them survive being shut out of the garden. Humanity was born into sovereignty and spirits are subject to them. All this time humanity was misled to believe we should be worshipping spirits and have been giving our authority over to them, subjecting ourselves to them instead of subjecting them to us as was intended. Scripture says "Subject the spirit within you" for very good reason. As a human being, the sin does not dwell in the flesh, it dwells in the spirits that inhabit it when they are not in subjection to it. They were the rebellious spirits needing to be brought into subjection, not the other way around. Human consciousness was made to be superior to spirit. How's that for a freaky twist and deception we have been living under and only have revealed to us at the end of the story if we are even listening?
5 babies=5 realizations
Where the Father (God) becomes the Son who is subject to Mother(Source, Creator of us all).
If spirits were supposed to be in subjection to fleshly human and serve it, the fleshly human would have been endowed with greater assets and abilities to accomplish this purpose: it would live longer and be stronger (more strong willed) than a spirit. Note-last day of creation is just now coming to completion. We shouldn't be at war with spirits of the air as scripture dictates, shouldn't even be under threat of such a thing happening if we are to be free sovereign beings with spirit in subjection and serving our needs that we might help them be what they were meant to be.
God is thus still creating the flesh for the spirits to inhabit-once the fleshly human race reaches maturity, He will then enter HIs rest.
We must get used to expecting service rather than asking for help with things. If we ask for help, we are putting ourselves into subjection, a position of servitude, relinquishing authority. We make requests for service, not assistance or help of any kind. It is appropriate for children to demonstrate subjection to parents, asking them(parents) for help or assistance but it is not appropriate for adults to ask for help from children. If we ask, "Will you do me a favor?" we are asking "Will you do me this service?" and is a way of getting answers and things without being overbearing yet not putting ourselves into subjection to the one doing the giving, I think. Technicalities, sometimes it is all in the technicalities and so some miner details need to be taken very seriously until we get everything in order and miner slips of the tongue do not invite threat...a day shall come when no such threat exists. Speaking of which, so often we have experienced just the viewing of entertainment as a doorway for spirits to enter. A simple observation must not be mistaken as an invitation. As responsible sovereigns we have every right and obligation to examine the spirit of all things that we may determine their appropriateness to the human experience. We should not dwell in ignorance nor be under threat simply for leaving a state of ignorance.
The next morning I awake slowly, feeling better still but not yet completely healed. I am given the brief vision glimpse of a buck and a doe playing in a field together. Warm joy fills me. As I go about my morning more realizations come to me as I realize God had no right to make promises to Israel. She had already chosen a land that pleased her: the lush, rich green of the Eastern United States. She had already chosen a people and endowed them with understanding of the principles of Sovereignty; such tribes as the Mohicans. The Constitution is evidence of their influence and what those who appreciated it wanted, however white men did not understand the principles fully, were already in a state and consciousness of servitude and so The United States of Sovereign Peoples did not survive it's infancy. It is beginning to. She is betrayed by the form He chose to have her dwell in, some of which makes her happy, some of which doesn't. But She is already invested. And while He would prefer other forms, He must take the one which pleases her and She asserts Her Sovereignty over the affairs He created for Himself. He must be in subjection and accept the lesson. It is Her people who will govern the affairs He created. A woman is faithful, just and righteous in her nature if she is empowered. But He must have no emotional investment in the affairs He created or She is forced to bring upon them destruction. They both know this. many things are occurring to me: a husband's duty to honor his wife vs. the scriptural right as her lord and master to do so and cause her to suffer should another choose to. Well, if He had been doing an appropriate job of it, another wouldn't be driven to do it or be given the opportunity to sneak in the back door to do it, so to speak. Time to allow things to come rolling in gently, quietly, patiently but assuredly. It is She who stated it would be given to another. That is the trick to "hearing" prophesy that was recorded; hearing the various voices within it. It does not take bigger guns to win a war, but a stronger will than your opponent. It is will that moves the world. Hers is greater and She lends it to Him, that Her will be done, not His.
One must first make the choices of a Sovereign and then they will be treated as a Sovereign.
To be a free Sovereign, one must stand alone as a Sovereign upon principle with confidence and the will to stand upon that principle. It must know when to be still and when to take action, when to speak and when to be quiet, when to retreat and when to strike out. It cannot complain nor base it's rights upon past actions "I did this for you now you must do this for me", this is blackmail, setting a standard of needing to earn worthiness. One must know their worthiness and assert their rights based upon this alone.
Sovereignty does not need to be recognized or affirmed by anyone else-that would make it dependent upon others for it's sovereignty, thus losing it's sovereignty. Sovereignty does not declare it's sovereignty. We recognize sovereignty when we see it but ti is not dependent upon our recognition for it to recognize it's own existence. Sovereignty does not imitate it's enemy to prove it's self like them their equal, or it becomes it's own enemy. It does not seek a place at the table because it does not wish to be one of those who sits at the table as a representation of it's right to exist. It does not sit as one of many, it sits as one among many. It sits alone at a table.
The constitution does not give rights, it is simply stating an awareness of rights we have only if we ourselves are aware of these rights. And in the end, a sovereign knows it is not obligated to give that which another has no right to take. And a sovereign knows it cannot be held accountable for what another had no right to commit.
Needless to say, this morning I began to scramble for understanding. Not always, OK hardly ever, proficient in understanding visions until long after they have happened. I researched the meaning of number 5 in dreams and thought I could handle the rest. 5 here applies in quickly coming, a change, and I know this is the appropriate application because that was what I had noted while experiencing the vision: they would come early. The oneness, the unity, I was to experience would come quickly and easily(small babies, easier birthing, as small as they looked, like they would slip out effortlessly). The man, a teacher, a spirit under whom I would be governed or guided, to assist in this lesson, this experience which would be earthly rather than purely spiritual as represented by the red dragon. It would involve a human being. The spirit is one that is headed for internment in the fire of transition rather than destruction. When he asked his advisor if he should flee, the advisor told him, no, you can take your time, go easy.
Eventually as I struggled with what all this might mean was about to happen, I got the feeling I was supposed to go to the store with a neighbor and get her something. Walking alongside the road the children ran well ahead of me. For once I was not overwhelmed. For once I did not take responsibility for the fear and worry they were causing. They were on the side of the road, on the correct side of the white line. I know that does not guarantee their safety should a car go out of bounds, but it was what God had happening. Breathe through it. Sure enough, a small child appearing to be alone running along so close to the side of the road made people anxious, cars stopping, passengers frowning and voicing their panic as they passed me, mouths obviously yapping. Typical of today's society and burdensome to a responsible sovereign, I could no longer carry their responsibility. Speaking out loud thoughts to myself at passing vehicles, I continued down the road calmly with confidence in what I was doing, with what was happening. Their fears are their responsibility......... it began to dawn on me as the episode ended how it applied to the vision and my physical, spiritual, and emotional condition.
From the time we are young we are constantly stopped what we are doing because it makes other people nervous. It became ingrained in me that I was responsible for the fears other people are having. I am NOT responsible for your fears or worries. God may cause me to be in your experience making you nervous simply to draw out your fear so YOU can deal with it. Yeah, sometimes as a mother I can't always pay attention to what my children are doing. That is where trust in God has to come in. That is where I can allow others to be the hand reaching out to grab them from oncoming traffic without feeling guilty. But if I am on top of things in the big picture, fulfilling my parental responsibilities, nothing bad should ever happen to my children until they reach an age of accountability, puberty, their own sovereignty. Hopefully they have been properly prepared for it. This is where their actions begin to have consequences for them, not me.
And so I realized how many times I have cramped up my stomach fretting over what everyone else was thinking, what they would worry about and trying to prevent that from happening so they don't take my children from me, judge me a bad parent. At the same time, I was projecting fear into my children, which they would eventually end up resenting and teaching them they are responsible for other people's actions of irresponsibility. NOT going to happen. So now I have lots of that pain that has accumulated from incident after incident of worry about what everyone else was thinking because my parenting (their perceiving a lack of it) was causing everyone else worry and judgement.
I also realized, God's little wild flower is becoming a full-blown Steel Magnolia ;)
This last change did come quickly, easily and did involve "attacks" from human beings. Quite the vision to explain a single day's happenings.
And in the meantime, momma took back her dignity in the form of a letter. And no, I don't care if I am doing things other people might consider embarrassing: talking thoughts out loud at traffic, dancing as I sing walking the roadside or shopping, wearing jewelry in manners people wouldn't find an appropriate application. I'm a mother on a mission: freedom for my children and really; there is no stopping me.
Duh me. Spirit tagging along for the episode, not as a teacher or guide for me but rather to be guided by the example I am providing before it is "imprisoned" in it's own physical body. I still keep forgetting I am no longer the student.
Later I realized this might not quite be the end of the story. The "Buddhist" is also representative of my counselor whom I have hired to provide a service in order to secure an income. It turns out that she is a mandated reporter. I am not intimidated by it and was not concerned about my qualifications as a parent. However, something about it "worried" me. Today I realized this specific feeling is not an inspired fear or me being afraid of something, it is a warning that I am in dangerous territory, the circumstances are not appropriate. It was probably appropriate I entered the circumstances unwittingly as I did so that I might come to this point of understanding my own body's feelings and perceptions of them, however continuing in this contractual relationship would definitely not be appropriate and that is for this reason: as a sovereign being I am violating my own sovereignty by contracting with someone in exchange for authority over me. A mandated reporter is required to express any concerns she would have in reference to me, to my ability to make my own decisions appropriately to my ability in making decisions concerning my children. I have no right to give up the authority that has been given me. If I violate this responsibility, this God-given right to sovereignty, I will be punished for it. Thank you but no thank you, I'm walking. This counselor happens to be a Buddhist with Christian religious practices, so the governing spirit over her is Buddhist, the Hindi. He will associate with me until his imprisonment/confinement within a human consciousness.
I also realized men or male spirits are born into sovereignty, a knowledge of it and for many an understanding of it. However, women or female spirits are born into subjection, or so we would be led to believe. However, when men help each other do anything, neither forfeits his sovereignty. They simply assist one another in a task in whatever way possible without any conditions. "Will you help me with this?" "Sure let me give you hand with that". Simple. Woman was made as a helper for man. He was to ahve in subjection to him the earth and it's inhabitants. That meant woman was also a sovereign being to have all things in subjection under her as well. She was simply given the added responsibility to help him. With added responsibilities comes additional rights. If ANYTHING, man was placed in subjection to woman by God's command and His purpose in her making. "It was not good for man to dwell alone". God saw it was not good for man to be a sovereign being, so He made a being within whom sovereignty would be appropriate. This is where I go "Holy Shit". It dawns on me as I write this. Sovereignty should be perfectly natural to a woman, however we have never been encouraged to practice it traditionally, don't know it's rules nor it's rights and responsibilities. Dying due to ignorance. Women aren't saved by childbearing, we are saved in becoming "men", or what men believe themselves to be in reference to women. Women are saved in claiming and practicing their sovereignty.
I realize also that this principle also applies to the human being and spirit (body is female and spirit is male in spirit world language): "animal skins" or the human body, flesh and blood were given for spirits to wear due to their disobedience, to help them survive being shut out of the garden. Humanity was born into sovereignty and spirits are subject to them. All this time humanity was misled to believe we should be worshipping spirits and have been giving our authority over to them, subjecting ourselves to them instead of subjecting them to us as was intended. Scripture says "Subject the spirit within you" for very good reason. As a human being, the sin does not dwell in the flesh, it dwells in the spirits that inhabit it when they are not in subjection to it. They were the rebellious spirits needing to be brought into subjection, not the other way around. Human consciousness was made to be superior to spirit. How's that for a freaky twist and deception we have been living under and only have revealed to us at the end of the story if we are even listening?
5 babies=5 realizations
Where the Father (God) becomes the Son who is subject to Mother(Source, Creator of us all).
If spirits were supposed to be in subjection to fleshly human and serve it, the fleshly human would have been endowed with greater assets and abilities to accomplish this purpose: it would live longer and be stronger (more strong willed) than a spirit. Note-last day of creation is just now coming to completion. We shouldn't be at war with spirits of the air as scripture dictates, shouldn't even be under threat of such a thing happening if we are to be free sovereign beings with spirit in subjection and serving our needs that we might help them be what they were meant to be.
God is thus still creating the flesh for the spirits to inhabit-once the fleshly human race reaches maturity, He will then enter HIs rest.
We must get used to expecting service rather than asking for help with things. If we ask for help, we are putting ourselves into subjection, a position of servitude, relinquishing authority. We make requests for service, not assistance or help of any kind. It is appropriate for children to demonstrate subjection to parents, asking them(parents) for help or assistance but it is not appropriate for adults to ask for help from children. If we ask, "Will you do me a favor?" we are asking "Will you do me this service?" and is a way of getting answers and things without being overbearing yet not putting ourselves into subjection to the one doing the giving, I think. Technicalities, sometimes it is all in the technicalities and so some miner details need to be taken very seriously until we get everything in order and miner slips of the tongue do not invite threat...a day shall come when no such threat exists. Speaking of which, so often we have experienced just the viewing of entertainment as a doorway for spirits to enter. A simple observation must not be mistaken as an invitation. As responsible sovereigns we have every right and obligation to examine the spirit of all things that we may determine their appropriateness to the human experience. We should not dwell in ignorance nor be under threat simply for leaving a state of ignorance.
The next morning I awake slowly, feeling better still but not yet completely healed. I am given the brief vision glimpse of a buck and a doe playing in a field together. Warm joy fills me. As I go about my morning more realizations come to me as I realize God had no right to make promises to Israel. She had already chosen a land that pleased her: the lush, rich green of the Eastern United States. She had already chosen a people and endowed them with understanding of the principles of Sovereignty; such tribes as the Mohicans. The Constitution is evidence of their influence and what those who appreciated it wanted, however white men did not understand the principles fully, were already in a state and consciousness of servitude and so The United States of Sovereign Peoples did not survive it's infancy. It is beginning to. She is betrayed by the form He chose to have her dwell in, some of which makes her happy, some of which doesn't. But She is already invested. And while He would prefer other forms, He must take the one which pleases her and She asserts Her Sovereignty over the affairs He created for Himself. He must be in subjection and accept the lesson. It is Her people who will govern the affairs He created. A woman is faithful, just and righteous in her nature if she is empowered. But He must have no emotional investment in the affairs He created or She is forced to bring upon them destruction. They both know this. many things are occurring to me: a husband's duty to honor his wife vs. the scriptural right as her lord and master to do so and cause her to suffer should another choose to. Well, if He had been doing an appropriate job of it, another wouldn't be driven to do it or be given the opportunity to sneak in the back door to do it, so to speak. Time to allow things to come rolling in gently, quietly, patiently but assuredly. It is She who stated it would be given to another. That is the trick to "hearing" prophesy that was recorded; hearing the various voices within it. It does not take bigger guns to win a war, but a stronger will than your opponent. It is will that moves the world. Hers is greater and She lends it to Him, that Her will be done, not His.
One must first make the choices of a Sovereign and then they will be treated as a Sovereign.
To be a free Sovereign, one must stand alone as a Sovereign upon principle with confidence and the will to stand upon that principle. It must know when to be still and when to take action, when to speak and when to be quiet, when to retreat and when to strike out. It cannot complain nor base it's rights upon past actions "I did this for you now you must do this for me", this is blackmail, setting a standard of needing to earn worthiness. One must know their worthiness and assert their rights based upon this alone.
Sovereignty does not need to be recognized or affirmed by anyone else-that would make it dependent upon others for it's sovereignty, thus losing it's sovereignty. Sovereignty does not declare it's sovereignty. We recognize sovereignty when we see it but ti is not dependent upon our recognition for it to recognize it's own existence. Sovereignty does not imitate it's enemy to prove it's self like them their equal, or it becomes it's own enemy. It does not seek a place at the table because it does not wish to be one of those who sits at the table as a representation of it's right to exist. It does not sit as one of many, it sits as one among many. It sits alone at a table.
The constitution does not give rights, it is simply stating an awareness of rights we have only if we ourselves are aware of these rights. And in the end, a sovereign knows it is not obligated to give that which another has no right to take. And a sovereign knows it cannot be held accountable for what another had no right to commit.
Monday, May 27, 2013
In the Beggining was the Dance....
In the Beginning was the Dance and it was all feeling and flowing, the birth of desire for a feeling and a dancing into and with that desire flowing, ever flowing and changing and dancing in energy. Within that dance came the desire to see it's self, wondering what it looked like, what it would look like to an outsider. Being endless and formless and limitless an outsider could not be created and so the Dance had to look inward, to create a space within it's self for a viewing platform from which to observe it's self, it's own reflection. Looking within and looking without upon it's own self, The Dance began the dance of Observation. The Dance began the dance of Creation.
The human mind became the perfect platform for detached observation while embodying the feelings of loving, joyful observance. In one vessel the desire for observation was perfected......and danced with it's self. But this gave birth to another desire, the desire to see this in the eyes of another looking back upon it's self with detached love and appreciation. Unconditional, supportive, realistic. And so the Dance continued in the hearts and minds of men, looking, seeking a fit vessel, now knowing through the eyes of the woman what a man needed for healing and completion, to become the perfect Observer of her own vessel. They are equal. Their love, appreciation, and detached curiosity, observation matched by their will. They echo each other through summoning, calling and drawing him near to her, closer and closer. He is coming for you.
The Dance can be at rest while still Dancing within herself. And himself, too.
And so everything was sacrificed, within the female vessel to demonstrate to him, the spirit, how to do this for himself. She became a living example. And so the spirit was instructed and came to realization, is now preparing his vessel.
The end of Creation. In a Dance that is never ending.
With God, all things are possible. An endearment and promise of a gift being given.
So it is that Creation began when the Dance began singing it's desire into beings and ends when the created being begins dancing and singing it's desire into Being.
The human mind became the perfect platform for detached observation while embodying the feelings of loving, joyful observance. In one vessel the desire for observation was perfected......and danced with it's self. But this gave birth to another desire, the desire to see this in the eyes of another looking back upon it's self with detached love and appreciation. Unconditional, supportive, realistic. And so the Dance continued in the hearts and minds of men, looking, seeking a fit vessel, now knowing through the eyes of the woman what a man needed for healing and completion, to become the perfect Observer of her own vessel. They are equal. Their love, appreciation, and detached curiosity, observation matched by their will. They echo each other through summoning, calling and drawing him near to her, closer and closer. He is coming for you.
The Dance can be at rest while still Dancing within herself. And himself, too.
And so everything was sacrificed, within the female vessel to demonstrate to him, the spirit, how to do this for himself. She became a living example. And so the spirit was instructed and came to realization, is now preparing his vessel.
The end of Creation. In a Dance that is never ending.
With God, all things are possible. An endearment and promise of a gift being given.
So it is that Creation began when the Dance began singing it's desire into beings and ends when the created being begins dancing and singing it's desire into Being.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Healing Begins
One long entry from the past few days, including a deeper version of the Adam and Eve story, what it might mean but I cannot post it for some reason the programming is not allowing it. So, this may be the end of the public sharing of my journey for now. maybe this is as far as anyone else is allowed to go, all they are allowed to know. Maybe a bit on dreams and visions, how everyone has them? Nope, still having issues with pasting from clipboard. I do have to make one correction; cliff top dwelling not where throne in heaven, was house my origins, through it goes deeper into the origins of creation. I do know it is the end of the thousand year reign and the beginning of God's Rest is next, at the end of this story. The seventh day of creation will then begin, when God rests from creating. So long as man is evolving, God is creating; " I never cease working as the Father never ceases", said the one called Jesus. So, the story of creation was an overview of everything that would end up happening. For man to end up in God's image, creation would continue until the present moment. All the rest is history. Oh, and my body REALLY IS healing-yay! finally.
Monday, May 20, 2013
The Big Fat Beaurocrat
It also hit me today that I am being given choices. I had only been given choices when there were no choices left to make. Always cornered, always without hope of better, I always had to settle for the only door that ever opened. Now I get to pick and chose how I want to do things and what tools I want to use. Another release of grief. I felt this in my stomach, each release of fear, anxiety and tension. I reflected on how I woke each morning checking for that lump that causes my digestive issues, not stopping til I locate it and begin to deal with it. It comes down and I begin my day. I realize that though it was given me, I held onto it because I believed I needed it to keep me grounded, focused, taking things seriously. Because I believed it, I did need it. Could I have done this without it? Maybe if I got smacked upside the head once in a while. I did use it to teach myself other things as well and God used it to teach other people. It's proven useful, but I might be able to let go of it now. We'll do the inner check, probably while I'm sleeping next. I call sleep the "reset". It is when any new thing is added to my consciousness is integrated and becomes part of my personality. Now I see it is the spirit that does the healing, but it cannot do it without my (and God's) consent, my permission. ("Permission is given" is here and now interjected). I got it initially as a sacrifice. I don't know all the specific details definitely but it has to do with my son. Someone felt threatened by my having him. They did not want it. I had to agree to take this on or have him afflicted with it. He is highly emotional and I was to carry his physical symptoms of his emotional discomforts in this system until he was able to carry them himself, become more emotionally capable. So he was born unnaturally healthy. Breastfed babies are supposed to lose weight their first week. Instead he gained a bunch. Once in a while he upsets his stomach with stress, but not often and really not at all anymore. He is allowed his emotions, I don't ask him to repress them. They no longer really overwhelm him, I simply teach him not to project them, injure himself or anybody else. Taught him early to breath through it, allow it to flow through him. I also encourage critical thinking, seeing the cause and effect of his actions and as his reasoning skills increase, his emotions become more reasonable. When it comes to conflict causing his big emotional experiences, they are usually with his sister. They are usually both at fault in these cases in one way or another. Reasoning and true justice in action does a lot in creating a less reactive person.
This sacrificial physical condition was supposed to mean my death eventually. On more than one occasion it did almost cause it. I experienced serious internal bleeding and then near starvation. The women in the shelter I was in were sure I was NOT going to make it I found out near my time to leave there. Of course I when I began asserting myself I wondered who would require that?! Did they even have the right?! My questions validated it was unjust, but I was not released from it sooner because I WAS using it. I did become aware that it was allowed because at any time, in a single moment, the angels could heal it. Death was never really a threat so long as they were with me, though I didn't know it and the one with whom I had the agreement wasn't supposed to know it would never be allowed to kill me. My death would mean his death, his release he believed, but he wasn't ready to "go" yet.
Today I was given understanding of what the thumb and diamond rings meant, along with several other pieces of 'jewelry'. Turns out that all along, God and Spirit WERE adorning me. If I want a ring to wear on my thumb, I have to go to the men's jewelry section. I have what we call "Bourdeau hands". They are not the fine, delicate hands of a woman. Thus, I am told, the thumb ring meant I have become a man. What does it mean to be a man? A man is king of his castle; head of the household and a sovereign being. He "brings home the bacon", making sure everyone has what they need to fulfill their roles, their responsibilities. This means knowledge, understanding, instruction, guidance, nurturing and assisting. "The bacon" is the spiritual responsibilities being fulfilled by "the man" being rewarded, the actual material means supplied by God for the good of the entire household and the community.
The diamond, like an engagement ring, means I am loved romantically. And romantically doesn't mean flowers on birthdays and holidays, what a man thinks a woman would want because it is what she is supposed ot have and expects to receive on certain days. It is not always just frivolous giving. It is caring enough to want to come to know her so intimately that you know exactly what she needs in any given moment. For example: remembering her favorite kind of pie is pecan and giving her a piece on an otherwise mundane day when a little sweetness might become the icing on the cake she might have otherwise taken for granted. It is something that, like a good meal of comfort food, hits the spot. It's the little touches, physically and thoughtfully enacted to her person, body, heart, soul and mind...just the right amount of stimulation.
Quickly coming in following that was my "wrap", it meant I had been made a friend. My chain of polished stone beads was being welcomed into a community. My backpack with beads in it was me officially being title of "Hippie". My nose piercing was me being cherished. My unique hair braid hanging from behind my ear strung with beads was me being made a holy woman.
When I began camping out in the field in California I found a "wrap" made up of many crystals and/or stones. I put it around my neck after asking around, figuring the owner might eventually see it and reclaim it. Which he did. He was called "Rabbit" and was very grateful to have it. Very expensive and meant alot to him. Some time later he came back with a "wrap" he had made just for me.
The stone beads were just given to me one day when we showed up for a meal at a local church.
The backpack was left on a free swap table. My "Rucksack" was quite the impressive find in those circles.
When I was a Jehovah's Witness and just really coming to know the bible for the first time in my life, I was struck by the love for Rebbecca, how the servant was sent with jewelry, including a nose ring, to adorn her, demonstrating her high value to theone offering marriage. I longed to be cherished like that. To be appreciated, adorned, considered a pearl of high value. This came when I was being guided by an entity called Suttholio. The day of the piercing, immediately after it there in the tattoo parlor on the wall I saw spelled out in spirit "Suttholio". No idea what the name means, thought the closest thing to it is an Italian phrase for peppers preserved in oil or something. Kinda fits as it was during this time I was inspired in the various ways of become assertive, especially using humor very close to sarcasm; light but very direct and effective at making a point almost veiled so as to effectively mock the person while making the exposure of their intentions (known or unknown by them themselves) very poignant. Assertiveness is a protection, preservative, a "saltiness"...making us "the salt of the earth".Soon after realizing this, I realized I had had a friend. Release of a bit of that loneliness I had been carrying. He is now again going. A friend, a TRUE friend.
The braid was something I was inspired to wear as a teen. No one else was wearing anything similar and I wondered what gave me the idea, but I went with it. I stopped wearing them when I got married. Hubby was jealous over anything I might have gotten from another man:bracelets, key chains, etc. It was given me to wear again while I was in that shelter in California. A black woman noticed it and commented "Wow, that is the sign of a tribal holy woman". Later that year, God voiced Himself in me while confronting a man, asserting that I WAS (and am) Most Holy to Him. I'm just happy with "not filthy!" lol But yeah, Holy I am. I take it.
Posted link about potential change to condoms on my facebook timeline: my comment "Healthy spirit, healthy mind, healthy body; sex is always safe". When all is in order within us, there is nothing in this world that can hurt us: it was never created for this purpose. You don't get "diseases", which are just corruptions or extreme "infections", presence of commonly occurring bacteria, etc. And as far as pregnancy; if that happens, it won't hurt us. We need not fear it for any reason. We are never given more than we can handle.
Also posted another comment:
When you are rebelling against something or defying something, you are really rebelling against your own self doubt on the topic in question. When you assert yourself, it is answering someone else's challenge to your sense of inner security, usually born of their insecurities; they don't believe such inner security that they see in you can really exist because they don't have it within themselves. When we assert ourselves effectively, we give them the hope and knowledge of the possibility that it can exist in them
Just reminders to myself of lessons already learned, things known but present discussions reveal might be helpful for others nearby to know.
Oh, and my male aspects: "perfected ego" and mr self righteous, self hating, overblown sense of righteousness are off integrating. They are beginning the journey we feminine aspects just finished making.
I am having difficulty slowing down, though. I have gotten too used to having to stay two steps ahead of the devil, make my inner journey and raising children. Heading into the moon lodge.
Jeremiah 31:22 says "Look! I am creating something new. A woman shall encompass a man".
A woman will become a man? The flesh will rule the spirit? Man will be in subjection to woman? I have proof the first two are correct. The third has yet to be proven. But it would be a complete reversal in the natural order of things, which would be new. A lot of domineering women think they are already in charge. In fact, they are misled, allowing themselves to be deceived. The man manipulates her through other people who influence her thinking and decisions by convincing him he is just the nice guy, lap dog, wanting no trouble. Instead he is avoiding taking responsibility and being lazy, allowing her to "rule the roost" so he doesn't have to do any of the work in it. While she is busy "ruling the roost" and mothering, he is off doing other things he shouldn't. A woman truly in charge knows how to delegate and makes sure everyone is appropriately busy ;)
This sacrificial physical condition was supposed to mean my death eventually. On more than one occasion it did almost cause it. I experienced serious internal bleeding and then near starvation. The women in the shelter I was in were sure I was NOT going to make it I found out near my time to leave there. Of course I when I began asserting myself I wondered who would require that?! Did they even have the right?! My questions validated it was unjust, but I was not released from it sooner because I WAS using it. I did become aware that it was allowed because at any time, in a single moment, the angels could heal it. Death was never really a threat so long as they were with me, though I didn't know it and the one with whom I had the agreement wasn't supposed to know it would never be allowed to kill me. My death would mean his death, his release he believed, but he wasn't ready to "go" yet.
Today I was given understanding of what the thumb and diamond rings meant, along with several other pieces of 'jewelry'. Turns out that all along, God and Spirit WERE adorning me. If I want a ring to wear on my thumb, I have to go to the men's jewelry section. I have what we call "Bourdeau hands". They are not the fine, delicate hands of a woman. Thus, I am told, the thumb ring meant I have become a man. What does it mean to be a man? A man is king of his castle; head of the household and a sovereign being. He "brings home the bacon", making sure everyone has what they need to fulfill their roles, their responsibilities. This means knowledge, understanding, instruction, guidance, nurturing and assisting. "The bacon" is the spiritual responsibilities being fulfilled by "the man" being rewarded, the actual material means supplied by God for the good of the entire household and the community.
The diamond, like an engagement ring, means I am loved romantically. And romantically doesn't mean flowers on birthdays and holidays, what a man thinks a woman would want because it is what she is supposed ot have and expects to receive on certain days. It is not always just frivolous giving. It is caring enough to want to come to know her so intimately that you know exactly what she needs in any given moment. For example: remembering her favorite kind of pie is pecan and giving her a piece on an otherwise mundane day when a little sweetness might become the icing on the cake she might have otherwise taken for granted. It is something that, like a good meal of comfort food, hits the spot. It's the little touches, physically and thoughtfully enacted to her person, body, heart, soul and mind...just the right amount of stimulation.
Quickly coming in following that was my "wrap", it meant I had been made a friend. My chain of polished stone beads was being welcomed into a community. My backpack with beads in it was me officially being title of "Hippie". My nose piercing was me being cherished. My unique hair braid hanging from behind my ear strung with beads was me being made a holy woman.
When I began camping out in the field in California I found a "wrap" made up of many crystals and/or stones. I put it around my neck after asking around, figuring the owner might eventually see it and reclaim it. Which he did. He was called "Rabbit" and was very grateful to have it. Very expensive and meant alot to him. Some time later he came back with a "wrap" he had made just for me.
The stone beads were just given to me one day when we showed up for a meal at a local church.
The backpack was left on a free swap table. My "Rucksack" was quite the impressive find in those circles.
When I was a Jehovah's Witness and just really coming to know the bible for the first time in my life, I was struck by the love for Rebbecca, how the servant was sent with jewelry, including a nose ring, to adorn her, demonstrating her high value to theone offering marriage. I longed to be cherished like that. To be appreciated, adorned, considered a pearl of high value. This came when I was being guided by an entity called Suttholio. The day of the piercing, immediately after it there in the tattoo parlor on the wall I saw spelled out in spirit "Suttholio". No idea what the name means, thought the closest thing to it is an Italian phrase for peppers preserved in oil or something. Kinda fits as it was during this time I was inspired in the various ways of become assertive, especially using humor very close to sarcasm; light but very direct and effective at making a point almost veiled so as to effectively mock the person while making the exposure of their intentions (known or unknown by them themselves) very poignant. Assertiveness is a protection, preservative, a "saltiness"...making us "the salt of the earth".Soon after realizing this, I realized I had had a friend. Release of a bit of that loneliness I had been carrying. He is now again going. A friend, a TRUE friend.
The braid was something I was inspired to wear as a teen. No one else was wearing anything similar and I wondered what gave me the idea, but I went with it. I stopped wearing them when I got married. Hubby was jealous over anything I might have gotten from another man:bracelets, key chains, etc. It was given me to wear again while I was in that shelter in California. A black woman noticed it and commented "Wow, that is the sign of a tribal holy woman". Later that year, God voiced Himself in me while confronting a man, asserting that I WAS (and am) Most Holy to Him. I'm just happy with "not filthy!" lol But yeah, Holy I am. I take it.
Posted link about potential change to condoms on my facebook timeline: my comment "Healthy spirit, healthy mind, healthy body; sex is always safe". When all is in order within us, there is nothing in this world that can hurt us: it was never created for this purpose. You don't get "diseases", which are just corruptions or extreme "infections", presence of commonly occurring bacteria, etc. And as far as pregnancy; if that happens, it won't hurt us. We need not fear it for any reason. We are never given more than we can handle.
Also posted another comment:
When you are rebelling against something or defying something, you are really rebelling against your own self doubt on the topic in question. When you assert yourself, it is answering someone else's challenge to your sense of inner security, usually born of their insecurities; they don't believe such inner security that they see in you can really exist because they don't have it within themselves. When we assert ourselves effectively, we give them the hope and knowledge of the possibility that it can exist in them
Just reminders to myself of lessons already learned, things known but present discussions reveal might be helpful for others nearby to know.
Oh, and my male aspects: "perfected ego" and mr self righteous, self hating, overblown sense of righteousness are off integrating. They are beginning the journey we feminine aspects just finished making.
I am having difficulty slowing down, though. I have gotten too used to having to stay two steps ahead of the devil, make my inner journey and raising children. Heading into the moon lodge.
Jeremiah 31:22 says "Look! I am creating something new. A woman shall encompass a man".
A woman will become a man? The flesh will rule the spirit? Man will be in subjection to woman? I have proof the first two are correct. The third has yet to be proven. But it would be a complete reversal in the natural order of things, which would be new. A lot of domineering women think they are already in charge. In fact, they are misled, allowing themselves to be deceived. The man manipulates her through other people who influence her thinking and decisions by convincing him he is just the nice guy, lap dog, wanting no trouble. Instead he is avoiding taking responsibility and being lazy, allowing her to "rule the roost" so he doesn't have to do any of the work in it. While she is busy "ruling the roost" and mothering, he is off doing other things he shouldn't. A woman truly in charge knows how to delegate and makes sure everyone is appropriately busy ;)
Sunday, May 19, 2013
I Get to Go Home
"You can go home" the message came as I was reflecting about how little boys were worth saving. This came after reflecting on how my son is merely instinctive in his behavior, not malicious but becoming conscious of how it affects other people and beginning to consciously use it. He simply needs to learn the whys and hows of self-control in response to it. He needs valid reasons and serious, but not judgmental or critical, discipline. It came also after reflecting about seeing the inner boy of a local man fresh out of prison. While it was good to see in him, I had learned to become leery of seeing such in a man. It's as if him being revealed to me was some great sin I had committed and I always got smacked around for it, physically and energetically. Sheesh, I was just loving him. Until boy meets man and man can accept him, no woman or child is safe with either of them. It's just a fact. I'm sure it's the same a lot of men feel about women, though in reality, when it comes to response to trauma which we seem to all have experienced, men choose fight where women choose flight. Women get "etheric" and men get "cryptic", women go high and men go deep, women go too light where men go too dark. Just tendencies, not judgment. Both extremes are unhealthy and not exclusive to genders.
In shower, clear understanding and conviction: nothing wrong with an ego, without it we would not exist as individuals, it's the false ego that is the problem.
So, it seems I wasn't allowed to return home until I had discovered within myself that boys were worth saving. Never had a question with my literal son, I assumed he was saved already, lol. I'm a mom! lol I am grateful I woke up to his need for discipline and did not turn a blind eye to his specific needs of it; the where, when, how and whys of it, what is appropriate.
When I first got this announcement I wondered what it meant. Oh, yeah, home within, the central sun within me. Then came the knowing: there is a god within and there is a god without/outside of us. As there is a sun in the center of the earth: formless surrounded by form, there is a sun in the center of the universe; again formlessness surrounded by forms, there is the mirror reflection: the forms surrounded by formlessness, creation surrounded by the Source of it.
I began reflecting on my experiences of going home in vision, dreams and meditation. Way back when, I was but a tenant in a basement apartment of a landlady. One time I was allowed in to see an upper bedroom a woman had prepared for her children, her sons specifically, one of whom she had hoped I'd marry, but that house wasn't mine. I once was in a house being shown in a mirror that I was being made up to look different, it was the house of a woman and foreigners had landed on the roof, their pursuers not making trouble but waiting for their ship to be fixed out of respect for the owner of the house. I did find my house once in meditation, played and explored around in it. It was a fieldstone cottage in the country, one I had built just for me. It was through the forest and across a stream, over a log and down a path. I went to the upper rooms, a hall with doors off to each side of it: past lives, other dimensions in the universe and earthly places. In the basement I saw the pool of water, emotion. I jumped in the whirlpool of it and was released at the bottom, dropped down onto a beach where I would find treasures hidden and left just for me. There was an ocean and in this ocean is where mermaids and mermen lived. Swam in once when pregnant with my fourth daughter. The king of the mermaids had a special blessing for her. I once found myself in the rented house in vision. I had become it's owner. I was lying on a bed covered in white linen, there were white linen curtains, a white crib with white linen, I wore all white lace garments. As I lie there looking up at the white stamped tin tiles, I noticed the corner of one "peeling", it peeled down further, I heard a deep voice ask "Has he spoken to you yet?" and my face began to pass through it. I held my breath as I passed through it. Wondering who it was speaking and of whom I turned to see a tunnel full of balls of colored lights come right into and through me. It reminded me of when I was young, just a very young child, and I had a dream from which I woke screaming all tangled in my blankets: I was tumbling along this spinning tube filed with balls of colored lights. (I remember once, being dragged into a vision, being in a bathroom and an evil entity trying to suffocate me with what looked like a shower curtain, but I was not afraid and knew I could breath through it. It was nothing but a veil he was trying to frighten me to death with. Somehow I knew I could pass through them. I was holding a child in my arms in vision when this happened.)
. Much later I remembered a house, a mansion on a cliff....... I realized, oh shit, could it mean the big one? I was allowed back in? Am I allowed to make that journey as well as this? I was already taking this very serious. The last time I didn't and so was booted out again of my own central mansion. I had come to a house where I was supposed to meet someone, but he wasn't there when we had agreed to arrive. I didn't dare go in alone and felt the draw of the white light that inhabited it and it's inhabitants. It's own brand of snakes and venomous serpents, treacherous. The draw was like a tractor beam, one would not be able to resist it, so I travelled on and that was when I saw the mansion on the cliff. I had been standing on the side of the mountain on which it exists as sort of in the center of a volcano indentation. There is a waterfall flowing from under/within it.
Then it all fell together, the journey I would be making. I would go into my house in the country, go down into the basement. Through the whirlpool I would reach the beach. I would take a boat across the ocean to the place of the house on the cliff which appears like an island mountain or mountain island but is the beginning of a continent. This is God's house in Heaven, the mansion in which many rooms exist. This where I am enthroned but had not yet been allowed to visit. This part of the journey is when the magic begins to happen (and a part of me exclaims good-naturedly: I just can't wait to again...have breasts again! lol But it is no problem waiting for me to take this journey slowly, seriously and with all due respect).
And duh! she realizes, I had been in my cottage last night while I was sleeping and that is why today I had so much energy! laughing. The human body is doing some up-catching. (and yeah, that is the way WE like to say it, in that way, we're quirky...we reverse our phrases) And this is how the human mind can see God's face yet live.
So, the human mind had never been to heaven, only the spirit which came from it. That is what got to go to the Garden of Eden when I couldn't....the ego wasn't fit. That was the part closed out of Heaven and the house in the Garden. I get it! My ego died the last time I saw God's face. or rather, when he saw mine......there in the garden when I wasn't ready, which was why He was so angry when He spoke to/through me at "The Druid", Peter or Paul Peters, was it? Anyways, my spirit hadn't properly readied me and so it was God who disciplined her and me......brutally! When he made her return to me, she was upset about it. She didn't like the mess I had made of my life or "her" body. She should have never abandoned me, then if she didn't like it. But I was the one who was quickened, the vessel God had chosen. We had switched places, then returned here, she believing condemned. Then was the "grounding" of her, being rooted in me, the tree growing within me.......I battled her just last evening....the ego doing the pruning of the spirit! Wow. God was guiding the human ego/me in disciplining the spirit within. Who could have saw that coming? Now she kinda likes me and is taking me along for the journey. So exciting!
So, self-acceptance turns out to be the ego accepting spirit as self and spirit accepting ego as self....child accepting parent and parent accepting child.
So....it was and is a single being, not with split personalities exactly, but that divvied up aspects it liked and denying ownership of those it didn't, which God made human(the animal skin) for her to dwell in outside the garden of Eden. The false ego died while the real one survived. It used to be the spirit could just pop into heaven without going through the garden, though she was shut out of God's presence. The ego couldn't get there without going through the garden, but now that it knows the way it can and is now in Heaven.....in God's presence.
"She can't come without the ego fully intact". He says gently, ever so quietly. "Are you ready to meet the man?". ("There's a freakin' man?!") Already met him, seen his face, it's human, didn't like him, but recognize his presence which was once warm and familiar.
That will be an event. "Do not let him have the honor of healing me, please let us do it before hand. He should not see the glory of the battle scars I incurred doing battle with him. He should have credit for none of it. My beauty did not come from him." And more quietly "I was once a part of him".
"A part of him he could not accept".
It was because of him I hated the qualities I did hate and he still even hated his own qualities he had claimed and kept from those he tossed into his "animal skin"! I am a result of his own self-hatred pinned against not only his own self hatred but his own hated qualities that became twisted as a result of his hating them! What a mess! I really don't know if I am ready for this.
Dammit, his spirit stuck in a body/ego knows where I live......just not which apartment. I can at least be thankful for that. Let him have an awkward moment, up, nope, he's on it.
But he cannot return to Heaven without me present with him, he must come through me to get to Heaven. Acceptance, of me as part of his person. It was said in scripture of having to search out the mind of a king.......equally true for a king to search out the heart and hurt of a woman, a queen......The Queen of Heaven he so condemned and resented.
Somehow it is akin to his ego, perfected by God, being what was resurrected and ruling from heaven while the spirit became earthbound, stuck in the flesh of men. The spirit was bound for a thousand years and recently resurrected/reunited with that perfected ego in the flesh. He only recently discovered which vessel of flesh he would become rooted in.
O.K. his "perfected" (he, hem..coughing .....) ego I can deal with. I would allow it to do the healing as an apology from it/him. He is not yet integrated, still separated aspects, ego can keep him out or let him in. And the spirit still in one body cannot access me without joining with/accepting the ego that was "perfected" and has been overseeing me. I have met both his bodies in this lifetime. The "perfected one" as a teen, the present one he is grounded in as an adult....a father and a son.
Definitely my four inner aspects. Today my youngest daughter looked at me and told me I look like I have four faces and she pointed to them, circling her finger in the air around my head. So we all have masculine and feminine, spirit and ego to integrate on the way to wholeness, health and well-being. hey, I have a dramatic story way of experiencing and explaining it. Why shouldn't we? It is the way mankind has done it from the beginning.
Here is a funny Brady Bunch type ending: son and daughter bring together her mother and his father and they all live (separately, parents from children....... at a great distance) happily ever after. (mom and dad's happiness may be delayed a bit, lol)
But no, I am beginning to notice the aspects of men I tried to love and accepted who in turn rejected me coming to express themselves in me, as if aspects of me had gone and demonstrated themselves in them, those aspects now return, softened and respectful, to live again in me. This little portal got a bit too busy for my liking this evening....I'm exhausted and have to be up in 3 1/2 hours for an appointment.......first comes the kingdom......will definitely be napping later today.
Ahhh, getting this part: the little boy aspects are going home through me.
In shower, clear understanding and conviction: nothing wrong with an ego, without it we would not exist as individuals, it's the false ego that is the problem.
So, it seems I wasn't allowed to return home until I had discovered within myself that boys were worth saving. Never had a question with my literal son, I assumed he was saved already, lol. I'm a mom! lol I am grateful I woke up to his need for discipline and did not turn a blind eye to his specific needs of it; the where, when, how and whys of it, what is appropriate.
When I first got this announcement I wondered what it meant. Oh, yeah, home within, the central sun within me. Then came the knowing: there is a god within and there is a god without/outside of us. As there is a sun in the center of the earth: formless surrounded by form, there is a sun in the center of the universe; again formlessness surrounded by forms, there is the mirror reflection: the forms surrounded by formlessness, creation surrounded by the Source of it.
I began reflecting on my experiences of going home in vision, dreams and meditation. Way back when, I was but a tenant in a basement apartment of a landlady. One time I was allowed in to see an upper bedroom a woman had prepared for her children, her sons specifically, one of whom she had hoped I'd marry, but that house wasn't mine. I once was in a house being shown in a mirror that I was being made up to look different, it was the house of a woman and foreigners had landed on the roof, their pursuers not making trouble but waiting for their ship to be fixed out of respect for the owner of the house. I did find my house once in meditation, played and explored around in it. It was a fieldstone cottage in the country, one I had built just for me. It was through the forest and across a stream, over a log and down a path. I went to the upper rooms, a hall with doors off to each side of it: past lives, other dimensions in the universe and earthly places. In the basement I saw the pool of water, emotion. I jumped in the whirlpool of it and was released at the bottom, dropped down onto a beach where I would find treasures hidden and left just for me. There was an ocean and in this ocean is where mermaids and mermen lived. Swam in once when pregnant with my fourth daughter. The king of the mermaids had a special blessing for her. I once found myself in the rented house in vision. I had become it's owner. I was lying on a bed covered in white linen, there were white linen curtains, a white crib with white linen, I wore all white lace garments. As I lie there looking up at the white stamped tin tiles, I noticed the corner of one "peeling", it peeled down further, I heard a deep voice ask "Has he spoken to you yet?" and my face began to pass through it. I held my breath as I passed through it. Wondering who it was speaking and of whom I turned to see a tunnel full of balls of colored lights come right into and through me. It reminded me of when I was young, just a very young child, and I had a dream from which I woke screaming all tangled in my blankets: I was tumbling along this spinning tube filed with balls of colored lights. (I remember once, being dragged into a vision, being in a bathroom and an evil entity trying to suffocate me with what looked like a shower curtain, but I was not afraid and knew I could breath through it. It was nothing but a veil he was trying to frighten me to death with. Somehow I knew I could pass through them. I was holding a child in my arms in vision when this happened.)
. Much later I remembered a house, a mansion on a cliff....... I realized, oh shit, could it mean the big one? I was allowed back in? Am I allowed to make that journey as well as this? I was already taking this very serious. The last time I didn't and so was booted out again of my own central mansion. I had come to a house where I was supposed to meet someone, but he wasn't there when we had agreed to arrive. I didn't dare go in alone and felt the draw of the white light that inhabited it and it's inhabitants. It's own brand of snakes and venomous serpents, treacherous. The draw was like a tractor beam, one would not be able to resist it, so I travelled on and that was when I saw the mansion on the cliff. I had been standing on the side of the mountain on which it exists as sort of in the center of a volcano indentation. There is a waterfall flowing from under/within it.
Then it all fell together, the journey I would be making. I would go into my house in the country, go down into the basement. Through the whirlpool I would reach the beach. I would take a boat across the ocean to the place of the house on the cliff which appears like an island mountain or mountain island but is the beginning of a continent. This is God's house in Heaven, the mansion in which many rooms exist. This where I am enthroned but had not yet been allowed to visit. This part of the journey is when the magic begins to happen (and a part of me exclaims good-naturedly: I just can't wait to again...have breasts again! lol But it is no problem waiting for me to take this journey slowly, seriously and with all due respect).
It is through this home of mine that I will enter Heaven.
The trumpets being sounded, heralding her imminent return to Heaven.
The way is being prepared for her.
(Where my personal journey mingles with heavenly events that may be corresponding to prophecy about our inner journey of self discovery and revelation-or hey, it's on the world scene happening today....dumdumdum.....ominous music playing)
"Outside Heaven is the Garden of Eden"
Oh! (took me a minute to get it), my cottage is in the garden of Eden. And a knowing: "Flesh and blood cannot inherit the Kingdom of Heaven". "No, but the spirit dwelling in the human body can!",
she retorts joyfully and knowingly with a bit of self-satisfaction...... passing her final exam.And duh! she realizes, I had been in my cottage last night while I was sleeping and that is why today I had so much energy! laughing. The human body is doing some up-catching. (and yeah, that is the way WE like to say it, in that way, we're quirky...we reverse our phrases) And this is how the human mind can see God's face yet live.
So, the human mind had never been to heaven, only the spirit which came from it. That is what got to go to the Garden of Eden when I couldn't....the ego wasn't fit. That was the part closed out of Heaven and the house in the Garden. I get it! My ego died the last time I saw God's face. or rather, when he saw mine......there in the garden when I wasn't ready, which was why He was so angry when He spoke to/through me at "The Druid", Peter or Paul Peters, was it? Anyways, my spirit hadn't properly readied me and so it was God who disciplined her and me......brutally! When he made her return to me, she was upset about it. She didn't like the mess I had made of my life or "her" body. She should have never abandoned me, then if she didn't like it. But I was the one who was quickened, the vessel God had chosen. We had switched places, then returned here, she believing condemned. Then was the "grounding" of her, being rooted in me, the tree growing within me.......I battled her just last evening....the ego doing the pruning of the spirit! Wow. God was guiding the human ego/me in disciplining the spirit within. Who could have saw that coming? Now she kinda likes me and is taking me along for the journey. So exciting!
So, self-acceptance turns out to be the ego accepting spirit as self and spirit accepting ego as self....child accepting parent and parent accepting child.
So....it was and is a single being, not with split personalities exactly, but that divvied up aspects it liked and denying ownership of those it didn't, which God made human(the animal skin) for her to dwell in outside the garden of Eden. The false ego died while the real one survived. It used to be the spirit could just pop into heaven without going through the garden, though she was shut out of God's presence. The ego couldn't get there without going through the garden, but now that it knows the way it can and is now in Heaven.....in God's presence.
"She can't come without the ego fully intact". He says gently, ever so quietly. "Are you ready to meet the man?". ("There's a freakin' man?!") Already met him, seen his face, it's human, didn't like him, but recognize his presence which was once warm and familiar.
That will be an event. "Do not let him have the honor of healing me, please let us do it before hand. He should not see the glory of the battle scars I incurred doing battle with him. He should have credit for none of it. My beauty did not come from him." And more quietly "I was once a part of him".
"A part of him he could not accept".
It was because of him I hated the qualities I did hate and he still even hated his own qualities he had claimed and kept from those he tossed into his "animal skin"! I am a result of his own self-hatred pinned against not only his own self hatred but his own hated qualities that became twisted as a result of his hating them! What a mess! I really don't know if I am ready for this.
Dammit, his spirit stuck in a body/ego knows where I live......just not which apartment. I can at least be thankful for that. Let him have an awkward moment, up, nope, he's on it.
But he cannot return to Heaven without me present with him, he must come through me to get to Heaven. Acceptance, of me as part of his person. It was said in scripture of having to search out the mind of a king.......equally true for a king to search out the heart and hurt of a woman, a queen......The Queen of Heaven he so condemned and resented.
Somehow it is akin to his ego, perfected by God, being what was resurrected and ruling from heaven while the spirit became earthbound, stuck in the flesh of men. The spirit was bound for a thousand years and recently resurrected/reunited with that perfected ego in the flesh. He only recently discovered which vessel of flesh he would become rooted in.
O.K. his "perfected" (he, hem..coughing .....) ego I can deal with. I would allow it to do the healing as an apology from it/him. He is not yet integrated, still separated aspects, ego can keep him out or let him in. And the spirit still in one body cannot access me without joining with/accepting the ego that was "perfected" and has been overseeing me. I have met both his bodies in this lifetime. The "perfected one" as a teen, the present one he is grounded in as an adult....a father and a son.
Definitely my four inner aspects. Today my youngest daughter looked at me and told me I look like I have four faces and she pointed to them, circling her finger in the air around my head. So we all have masculine and feminine, spirit and ego to integrate on the way to wholeness, health and well-being. hey, I have a dramatic story way of experiencing and explaining it. Why shouldn't we? It is the way mankind has done it from the beginning.
Here is a funny Brady Bunch type ending: son and daughter bring together her mother and his father and they all live (separately, parents from children....... at a great distance) happily ever after. (mom and dad's happiness may be delayed a bit, lol)
But no, I am beginning to notice the aspects of men I tried to love and accepted who in turn rejected me coming to express themselves in me, as if aspects of me had gone and demonstrated themselves in them, those aspects now return, softened and respectful, to live again in me. This little portal got a bit too busy for my liking this evening....I'm exhausted and have to be up in 3 1/2 hours for an appointment.......first comes the kingdom......will definitely be napping later today.
Ahhh, getting this part: the little boy aspects are going home through me.
Reflections on How I shut Down my Chakra System
The journey through the whys and hows of a defunct chakra system and how to correct it.
When I began my journey into full re-awakening I began with opening the chakras. This was intense because I had shut down my upper chakras as a child. My ability see, hear and know things others didn't was disturbing to people and what disturbed them disturbed me. Speaking my sharp perceptions got me hit. Hard. Across the face. Remote viewing made friends uncomfortable with me. Remote hearing had me ridiculed by my brother when I would catch him lying. knowing their thoughts disturbing. Feeling their emotions painful. Loving everyone and everything while getting nothing in return too draining. I only ever began to use it in self defense, when needed. My upper chakras were the first to go.
But I was always god at everything earthly based: running, jumping, gymnastics, dance, horseback riding. It all came "supernaturally" easy. Never got sick, really and healed very quickly, so quickly more than one doctor has taken note of it. I began working at 14, making enough money to clothe and feed myself and had $2,000 saved up for my first vehicle. We never had food in the house, buying us clothes was always an issue with my mother. I hated her materialistic attitude, her covetousness, her need for attention and prestige. My father had all the money we ever needed but taught us to steal. "Do whatever you want, just don't get caught" was his motto. I detested their relationship with money. When it came to my earthly walk, I was an independent little thinker. But then something happened in my teen years, around 16 I began to change when my body went through puberty. I grew cold. I didn't make a practice of stealing, but when friend wanted something and couldn't afford it, I made a show of how to get it without even a twinge of a guilty conscience. I grew puritan-like, wanting to be nun. I don't think I need to explain how I grew up in a sexually perverted environment. So, I went from puritan to diva sexually speaking. Didn't care who, what , where, when or how so long as it was a man and he wasn't already taken. I had seen how the boys I hung around with talked about the girls they had sex with behind the girls' backs. I swore I would never be one of them, I would be like the men instead. I wouldn't seek out attention, I 'd have them seek me out instead. One guy walked up to me in a bar "You love sex, don't you?". Not coming on to me or accusing, he was just making an observation and leaving. Yeah, I did. It came easily, naturally like horseback riding, running, jumping, falling without getting hurt. I was magical. I was in control. I was in control of everything earthly, I believed.
At 21 I began to question all this. I was a wife and that meant something, was a responsibility. I was awaiting the birth of my first child. That meant everything to me. Though uncertain, I knew what I wanted and pretty much knew how to get it how I wanted it to come; appropriately. I could still assert myself when it came down to it. Then I began the re-awakening process, that serpent curled in, woman in cat jumped on, and I had never felt as insecure about anything as I have since. The only time I would get what I need always involved allowing someone else to drag me through them doing something unrighteous and evil. I was never allowed to do it myself, suffered for refusing and suffering for choosing. But anyone around me could do whatever they wanted and get away with it completely. Absolutely every aspect of my life was controlled by someone else. Have been slowly released over the past year in all these aspects, have some to go yet. Taking it slowly I guess, so I understand each step, each aspect, correcting it so I never go that way again.
When it comes to an earthly existence. I cannot function how THEY want me to function in the system. So, I am just fine with taking a label that states this and living life how I want it. That was another thing about my upbringing: it was extremely prejudiced against colors, ethnicities, health, financial means, status, everything. It was hypocritical and offensive to me so I never learned discernment, only judgment, and responded in the opposite extreme: accept everything. Now I know discernment is appropriate. Having gone from needing to control everything to being able to control nothing, to some things I need to control, other things I shouldn't, some control is appropriate, some is unnecessary. Some things are chosen consciously, some things come naturally. Or maybe when some things are chosen consciously, other things just come naturally.
Upper chakras cleansed and tuned in to healthier perspectives, I am now entering the lower and Anais has come in to help me with this; she wants a healthy mother and a natural birth experience, which I was only able to give to one of my other children. And whether this is a literal birth or a spiritual one, I do not know. She could have been an aspect I lost long ago and didn't know. But I do know that this past year I became pregnant with "Shalom", which encompasses the full experience: health, wealth, prosperity, well-being and a right relationship with our creator. And I keep getting the name "Salome", which means "peace", in reference to Anais.
I notice I am beginning to wear primary colors and never have liked orange or yellow, thought red was "slutty" or made items look cheap, inexpensive. Wearing blue and purple, green was always a favorite, pumpkin orange on my son, bright orange on my daughter and allowing in a brick red for myself. Guess I should start exploring cherry ;) Ugh, and yellow. Dandelions are in my house, I guess that counts.
Right now, I am listening to chakra tunes on YouTube. Stuff like this won't make it happen and one certainly can't just imagine it happening, but if it is appropriate and we are willing to allow it to happen, things like this will support it happening.
I do know I have to get a bank account. To allow money to come in, it needs a channel. Everything these days is automatic deposit and withdrawal. I was always good with a checking account. If I deposited, I rounded down to the nearest dollar. If I wrote a check, I subtracted to the nearest rounded up dollar. So, anytime I closed an account, I always ended up with a surprise amount. I also have to buy a lottery ticket. I have a "stable income" and need to balance it with taking a chance once in a while. Financially I am embracing practicing responsibility with generosity, not just towards others, but with myself as well. These are the keys to financial prosperity, which brings greater mobility, health and well-being. which comes ultimately from a right relationship with our creator: a conscious decision we all are making.
Knowing and understanding all this, brings peace to a person and injects it into the family tree. That family tree can then inject it into a community and through an open, mixed community, all of humanity.
Listening to the intonations for brain chakra stimulation, there a deep "why" voice, lol as I remember crying from deep within as a child "WHY!" and then immediately blocking any understanding coming in because I had learned to block anything coming from those channels. I would see someone was sad or angry, being deceitful, etc and they would tell no, they weren't, so I stopped trusting myself and hating that it caused trouble. I had to learn the hard way. One of the big steps I have been making is sticking by my intuition, adhering to decisions made with it even if people deny what I see going on around and within me and them. "Black is black and white is white, so it is that a lie is a lie. It does not need to be acknowledged by you, your acknowledgement is not needed to prove something is or isn't true".
I also have to remember we sometimes take on physical illness to mute our otherwise healthy energy so it is muted enough to give us access to lower vibrational levels and thus the people inhabiting them. Sometimes we take on mental, emotional, or spiritual illness to access the physically well but spiritually, emotionally, intellectually corrupt people. We maybe happy, healthy and whole experiencing some level of discomfort so we can be exposed to others. And that is why it is so important to be good to those strangers amongst us who are suffering on any of these levels: they may be perfectly whole and healthy, passing through as a blessing to our environments, muted so they can actually exist on our levels.
Caution! Awakening chakra energies! The day has gotten started and I'm getting into potential trouble already. Don't scratch the truck that says "scratch me"......owner puts on pretenses due to insecurities and while his truck might need some scratching so he can relax a bit, I am not the one to do it: I don't want to pay the bill when he runs to "mommy" complaining (and the bastard had the nerve to speak as a disciplinarian to my child, not his right or responsibility. You talk to the parent and that parent would be me, no wonder my kid responded as he played around it as would any child subject to the law of instinct. I see why now that I am experiencing child-like reflexes of my own-note, term "bastard was not used in anger or resentment, no self doubt, denotes wrongful action on his part taken). Are they serious, you need to have a piece of paper to drive your vehicle down the road to get inspected? Yes, they are very serious, someone might get hurt or miss out on making some money, they believe. Note to self-don't get rebellious about it. And my language! Tongue is free flowing.....children in environment! Shit! Oooops, there I go again, lol. Yup, giddy as if I am drunken but more grounded and not the least bit wobbly on my feet. All my senses are heightened. maybe go for a walk instead of listening to more binaural rhythms, lol. Anyways, it was this intuitive experience of the instinctive response to that vehicle that made me realize the truth of all things: our possessions radiate our consciousness. Children really are walking, talking vessels of the law of attraction.
OK, simple walk to store, wearing red and my energy says "condition: cherry", pure clean and energetic, hot to trot and ready to gamble-ready for movement and open to potentials, not horny or into taking foolish risks. Sheesh, that was easy. But, whoa, they expect me to get a job and work out in public like this or work in a cubicle? lol.......meet group of walkers: 'well, aren't we a motley crew', I think. OK, think of something else to say......in store, cashier is cute, just blurt it out that this is so. Compliment another, she does not answer right away...out of head, out of head, won't go there....Oh, she responded. Wasn't fishing for answer but so used to getting them, natural to wonder. That teen that walked in the house ignoring everybody else....not a problem, she is just not used to acknowledging people...stay out of her, doesn't matter, don't need to go down that road.....but she wouldn't mind, she has no boundaries to call home....OK, then. Other woman at store: not impressed with anyone, including herself, leads everything leaving an impression and on her and her surroundings.... Yes, I know these things about people. Need proper stimulation, but not so much that I am overwhelmed at the moment. Maybe I could work out in public if I continued to develop healthy boundaries. But who wants to? Tune 'em all out, tune in to a few, which ones are important, which ones want it, etc....on with the questions I need to be asking......and this isn't even stressful, nervous or nerve wracking, this is easy and free flowing, not stressful or panicky. Simple preparation for whatever is coming.
And I am noticing far more in my environment, with a quick glance at things, I am taking more in and remembering. Innocence.
But this time, not naïve and uncertain. Very secure in my own presence.
Then I ate something. Immediate crash and loss of energy. That's right, had done a bunch of cleansing like with wheatgrass and dietary changes before learning meditation. My stomach can't handle high energy foods right now, so listening to binaural beats for physical healing so we can change that and my body can handle the increase of energy being channeled through the chakras. Density of food we eat does make a difference, but it does not kill us or make us healthy, it simply takes more or less energy to process. Even 'toxins' can be easier to transmute than some natural food items like meat and cheese that is why so many on the path to 'enlightenment' smoke cigarettes and drink caffeine. Quick change energy. But then we get too light, light-headed and need to eat something more solid. Too solid and we crash suddenly, need napping after each meal if the body is doing a lot of changing. Then we burn up in our sleep, feel drained and need recharging when we wake. Metabolize food so fast, after a one hour nap immediately after heating, I wake up absolutely starving. Long process, I guess, been at it for ten years now. Just didn't have the digestive issues until last year or two. Lost 70 pounds suddenly. Digestive system shut down completely then rebooted. Taking a long time to recover completely.
An insight as to one aspect of what happened ten years ago:
Did complete healing, then sins came to visit. That is why my health dropped so dramatically after the event and lingering effects played down.
First was a free gift, then we had to work for it.
When I began my journey into full re-awakening I began with opening the chakras. This was intense because I had shut down my upper chakras as a child. My ability see, hear and know things others didn't was disturbing to people and what disturbed them disturbed me. Speaking my sharp perceptions got me hit. Hard. Across the face. Remote viewing made friends uncomfortable with me. Remote hearing had me ridiculed by my brother when I would catch him lying. knowing their thoughts disturbing. Feeling their emotions painful. Loving everyone and everything while getting nothing in return too draining. I only ever began to use it in self defense, when needed. My upper chakras were the first to go.
But I was always god at everything earthly based: running, jumping, gymnastics, dance, horseback riding. It all came "supernaturally" easy. Never got sick, really and healed very quickly, so quickly more than one doctor has taken note of it. I began working at 14, making enough money to clothe and feed myself and had $2,000 saved up for my first vehicle. We never had food in the house, buying us clothes was always an issue with my mother. I hated her materialistic attitude, her covetousness, her need for attention and prestige. My father had all the money we ever needed but taught us to steal. "Do whatever you want, just don't get caught" was his motto. I detested their relationship with money. When it came to my earthly walk, I was an independent little thinker. But then something happened in my teen years, around 16 I began to change when my body went through puberty. I grew cold. I didn't make a practice of stealing, but when friend wanted something and couldn't afford it, I made a show of how to get it without even a twinge of a guilty conscience. I grew puritan-like, wanting to be nun. I don't think I need to explain how I grew up in a sexually perverted environment. So, I went from puritan to diva sexually speaking. Didn't care who, what , where, when or how so long as it was a man and he wasn't already taken. I had seen how the boys I hung around with talked about the girls they had sex with behind the girls' backs. I swore I would never be one of them, I would be like the men instead. I wouldn't seek out attention, I 'd have them seek me out instead. One guy walked up to me in a bar "You love sex, don't you?". Not coming on to me or accusing, he was just making an observation and leaving. Yeah, I did. It came easily, naturally like horseback riding, running, jumping, falling without getting hurt. I was magical. I was in control. I was in control of everything earthly, I believed.
At 21 I began to question all this. I was a wife and that meant something, was a responsibility. I was awaiting the birth of my first child. That meant everything to me. Though uncertain, I knew what I wanted and pretty much knew how to get it how I wanted it to come; appropriately. I could still assert myself when it came down to it. Then I began the re-awakening process, that serpent curled in, woman in cat jumped on, and I had never felt as insecure about anything as I have since. The only time I would get what I need always involved allowing someone else to drag me through them doing something unrighteous and evil. I was never allowed to do it myself, suffered for refusing and suffering for choosing. But anyone around me could do whatever they wanted and get away with it completely. Absolutely every aspect of my life was controlled by someone else. Have been slowly released over the past year in all these aspects, have some to go yet. Taking it slowly I guess, so I understand each step, each aspect, correcting it so I never go that way again.
When it comes to an earthly existence. I cannot function how THEY want me to function in the system. So, I am just fine with taking a label that states this and living life how I want it. That was another thing about my upbringing: it was extremely prejudiced against colors, ethnicities, health, financial means, status, everything. It was hypocritical and offensive to me so I never learned discernment, only judgment, and responded in the opposite extreme: accept everything. Now I know discernment is appropriate. Having gone from needing to control everything to being able to control nothing, to some things I need to control, other things I shouldn't, some control is appropriate, some is unnecessary. Some things are chosen consciously, some things come naturally. Or maybe when some things are chosen consciously, other things just come naturally.
Upper chakras cleansed and tuned in to healthier perspectives, I am now entering the lower and Anais has come in to help me with this; she wants a healthy mother and a natural birth experience, which I was only able to give to one of my other children. And whether this is a literal birth or a spiritual one, I do not know. She could have been an aspect I lost long ago and didn't know. But I do know that this past year I became pregnant with "Shalom", which encompasses the full experience: health, wealth, prosperity, well-being and a right relationship with our creator. And I keep getting the name "Salome", which means "peace", in reference to Anais.
I notice I am beginning to wear primary colors and never have liked orange or yellow, thought red was "slutty" or made items look cheap, inexpensive. Wearing blue and purple, green was always a favorite, pumpkin orange on my son, bright orange on my daughter and allowing in a brick red for myself. Guess I should start exploring cherry ;) Ugh, and yellow. Dandelions are in my house, I guess that counts.
Right now, I am listening to chakra tunes on YouTube. Stuff like this won't make it happen and one certainly can't just imagine it happening, but if it is appropriate and we are willing to allow it to happen, things like this will support it happening.
I do know I have to get a bank account. To allow money to come in, it needs a channel. Everything these days is automatic deposit and withdrawal. I was always good with a checking account. If I deposited, I rounded down to the nearest dollar. If I wrote a check, I subtracted to the nearest rounded up dollar. So, anytime I closed an account, I always ended up with a surprise amount. I also have to buy a lottery ticket. I have a "stable income" and need to balance it with taking a chance once in a while. Financially I am embracing practicing responsibility with generosity, not just towards others, but with myself as well. These are the keys to financial prosperity, which brings greater mobility, health and well-being. which comes ultimately from a right relationship with our creator: a conscious decision we all are making.
Knowing and understanding all this, brings peace to a person and injects it into the family tree. That family tree can then inject it into a community and through an open, mixed community, all of humanity.
Listening to the intonations for brain chakra stimulation, there a deep "why" voice, lol as I remember crying from deep within as a child "WHY!" and then immediately blocking any understanding coming in because I had learned to block anything coming from those channels. I would see someone was sad or angry, being deceitful, etc and they would tell no, they weren't, so I stopped trusting myself and hating that it caused trouble. I had to learn the hard way. One of the big steps I have been making is sticking by my intuition, adhering to decisions made with it even if people deny what I see going on around and within me and them. "Black is black and white is white, so it is that a lie is a lie. It does not need to be acknowledged by you, your acknowledgement is not needed to prove something is or isn't true".
I also have to remember we sometimes take on physical illness to mute our otherwise healthy energy so it is muted enough to give us access to lower vibrational levels and thus the people inhabiting them. Sometimes we take on mental, emotional, or spiritual illness to access the physically well but spiritually, emotionally, intellectually corrupt people. We maybe happy, healthy and whole experiencing some level of discomfort so we can be exposed to others. And that is why it is so important to be good to those strangers amongst us who are suffering on any of these levels: they may be perfectly whole and healthy, passing through as a blessing to our environments, muted so they can actually exist on our levels.
Caution! Awakening chakra energies! The day has gotten started and I'm getting into potential trouble already. Don't scratch the truck that says "scratch me"......owner puts on pretenses due to insecurities and while his truck might need some scratching so he can relax a bit, I am not the one to do it: I don't want to pay the bill when he runs to "mommy" complaining (and the bastard had the nerve to speak as a disciplinarian to my child, not his right or responsibility. You talk to the parent and that parent would be me, no wonder my kid responded as he played around it as would any child subject to the law of instinct. I see why now that I am experiencing child-like reflexes of my own-note, term "bastard was not used in anger or resentment, no self doubt, denotes wrongful action on his part taken). Are they serious, you need to have a piece of paper to drive your vehicle down the road to get inspected? Yes, they are very serious, someone might get hurt or miss out on making some money, they believe. Note to self-don't get rebellious about it. And my language! Tongue is free flowing.....children in environment! Shit! Oooops, there I go again, lol. Yup, giddy as if I am drunken but more grounded and not the least bit wobbly on my feet. All my senses are heightened. maybe go for a walk instead of listening to more binaural rhythms, lol. Anyways, it was this intuitive experience of the instinctive response to that vehicle that made me realize the truth of all things: our possessions radiate our consciousness. Children really are walking, talking vessels of the law of attraction.
OK, simple walk to store, wearing red and my energy says "condition: cherry", pure clean and energetic, hot to trot and ready to gamble-ready for movement and open to potentials, not horny or into taking foolish risks. Sheesh, that was easy. But, whoa, they expect me to get a job and work out in public like this or work in a cubicle? lol.......meet group of walkers: 'well, aren't we a motley crew', I think. OK, think of something else to say......in store, cashier is cute, just blurt it out that this is so. Compliment another, she does not answer right away...out of head, out of head, won't go there....Oh, she responded. Wasn't fishing for answer but so used to getting them, natural to wonder. That teen that walked in the house ignoring everybody else....not a problem, she is just not used to acknowledging people...stay out of her, doesn't matter, don't need to go down that road.....but she wouldn't mind, she has no boundaries to call home....OK, then. Other woman at store: not impressed with anyone, including herself, leads everything leaving an impression and on her and her surroundings.... Yes, I know these things about people. Need proper stimulation, but not so much that I am overwhelmed at the moment. Maybe I could work out in public if I continued to develop healthy boundaries. But who wants to? Tune 'em all out, tune in to a few, which ones are important, which ones want it, etc....on with the questions I need to be asking......and this isn't even stressful, nervous or nerve wracking, this is easy and free flowing, not stressful or panicky. Simple preparation for whatever is coming.
And I am noticing far more in my environment, with a quick glance at things, I am taking more in and remembering. Innocence.
But this time, not naïve and uncertain. Very secure in my own presence.
Then I ate something. Immediate crash and loss of energy. That's right, had done a bunch of cleansing like with wheatgrass and dietary changes before learning meditation. My stomach can't handle high energy foods right now, so listening to binaural beats for physical healing so we can change that and my body can handle the increase of energy being channeled through the chakras. Density of food we eat does make a difference, but it does not kill us or make us healthy, it simply takes more or less energy to process. Even 'toxins' can be easier to transmute than some natural food items like meat and cheese that is why so many on the path to 'enlightenment' smoke cigarettes and drink caffeine. Quick change energy. But then we get too light, light-headed and need to eat something more solid. Too solid and we crash suddenly, need napping after each meal if the body is doing a lot of changing. Then we burn up in our sleep, feel drained and need recharging when we wake. Metabolize food so fast, after a one hour nap immediately after heating, I wake up absolutely starving. Long process, I guess, been at it for ten years now. Just didn't have the digestive issues until last year or two. Lost 70 pounds suddenly. Digestive system shut down completely then rebooted. Taking a long time to recover completely.
An insight as to one aspect of what happened ten years ago:
Did complete healing, then sins came to visit. That is why my health dropped so dramatically after the event and lingering effects played down.
First was a free gift, then we had to work for it.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Babylon Is Surrounded
Long and dramatic Sabbath this week. Ended with "Babylon" surrounded. The ones chosen for survival singled out, wondering "Why me?" and responding hesitantly. Thinking maybe they had been singled out due some unknown about "Hunger Games" lottery or shipping off to concentration camps or something. But it was whispered to them, that no, they had been singled out for salvation and were needing to be ushered out without explanation so they didn't alert others to what was going to happen to them. Everyone else left behind would be destroyed with "that great city".
This manifests within me as me being made alert to being directed to where I began in my awakening process: the opening of my chakras. When I did that, the neighborhood electricity went out for a minute and from then on when I drove past streetlights, they went out, one right after another, lol. But it also had come with me finally learning to meditate, access my imagination again. The imagination is the place in our minds where feelings meet thought to give them form. It is the source of creation within. "Whatever we can imagine can happen".
Of course mine as been deceptive, I realize as I had cleared out my mind. After cleaning out the left brain, I could hear my children and everyone else far more clearly. Even people driving past us as we walked on the side of the road. But it has helped me with my youngest already born daughter in amazing ways. "Are you the one who brought Anais to me?" I asked her. She nodded and glowed excitedly. It was the gift she had for me this morning. She had found her with my family and knew she wanted to born with my last name. That was the sweetness I had experienced, oneness with Anais, her spirit coming into me. It revealed to me that a whole new generation of innocents was going to be born through mine and my children's generations. They would never know abuse, having within them such sweetness as to melt and soften all the hearts around them.
I could imagine great things, but they would never happen. Everything anyone ever did to create good things in their environment, but it never would work for me. It is what made me believe in a God above all things rather than a god within, "you are god also", "the law of attraction" or any such things as absolute. I knew there was some truth to them, but I knew it was not complete. And I was given to realize some answers to some questions I had long had. "What was that black worm/tadpole thing that came and curled up in my chest, all wide-eyed and innocent looking four years ago just before I awakened?" "Who was the woman on the great black beast, a black leopard or panther that landed on and clawed at my chest while she exclaimed 'Now I will teach you something?" Why go into the belly of the beast, when you can carry it within? "Keep your friends close, keep your enemies even closer", I guess. But, my imaginings were nothing but promises that would be broken. And this caused me to begin receiving guidance through my body, allowing it to talk to me of it's inspiration. And this was richly rewarded. I was never to know ahead of time where, how or when. I had to be willing to change direction in any given moment. Promises were fulfilled precisely when I remained alert to "inner knowing", guidance and prophesy.
Now I understand a lot about what the one called Jesus said, why he had a sort of schizophrenic personality, why his disciples were misled, why things didn't happen exactly as he had said, why certain scriptures were chosen, why the one called Jesus did not prophesy all things always clearly. We who go through this are not given to know things ahead of time. Our thoughts are always broadcast and so as soon as God reveals anything to us, it is accessible to anyone listening.
So, what will happen to me? I do not know. I just get a mumbo jumbo about "today I am reborn", "tonight I die to myself" and those types of things. Fear, regret, mourning, which is not mine precisely as part of me is rejoicing slightly. Wouldn't you love to be that woman within whom dwelt the secret joy of a pregnant woman? The secret joy that keeps her daydreaming and humming for, to anyone else, are unknown reasons. Her softness, her strength, her ability to reason and plan, to arrange things perfectly suited by her 'nesting instinct', her perception and wisdom.........A wonderful and mysterious creature to everyone around her. A perpetual mother.
There are other secrets I have been made aware of which can be saved for independent questions. I also was moved to put up on the Detroit Village Neighborly blog links about teen emancipation:
http://detroitvillagegrandmashouse.blogspot.com/2013/05/emancipation-of-teens-in-maine.html
Most of all, I just appreciate how much this day has brought me and my children closer together.
Oh, and the whole anti-gay thing was in support of someone who was contending with it in their environment.
Forgot to add, yellow chakra is the one I have been having trouble with. It was given to me today to notice it is the "sun" chakra, not just by color, but because it is also the central one in the color spectrum of my little universe of energy. I also noticed it coincided with the area in which inspiration would come in as "inner guidance", read by my body and given to me by it's interpretation of it, never having to have gone up into my head to search for the words of the languages I speak for expression nor pictures in my imagination for interpretation.
This manifests within me as me being made alert to being directed to where I began in my awakening process: the opening of my chakras. When I did that, the neighborhood electricity went out for a minute and from then on when I drove past streetlights, they went out, one right after another, lol. But it also had come with me finally learning to meditate, access my imagination again. The imagination is the place in our minds where feelings meet thought to give them form. It is the source of creation within. "Whatever we can imagine can happen".
Of course mine as been deceptive, I realize as I had cleared out my mind. After cleaning out the left brain, I could hear my children and everyone else far more clearly. Even people driving past us as we walked on the side of the road. But it has helped me with my youngest already born daughter in amazing ways. "Are you the one who brought Anais to me?" I asked her. She nodded and glowed excitedly. It was the gift she had for me this morning. She had found her with my family and knew she wanted to born with my last name. That was the sweetness I had experienced, oneness with Anais, her spirit coming into me. It revealed to me that a whole new generation of innocents was going to be born through mine and my children's generations. They would never know abuse, having within them such sweetness as to melt and soften all the hearts around them.
I could imagine great things, but they would never happen. Everything anyone ever did to create good things in their environment, but it never would work for me. It is what made me believe in a God above all things rather than a god within, "you are god also", "the law of attraction" or any such things as absolute. I knew there was some truth to them, but I knew it was not complete. And I was given to realize some answers to some questions I had long had. "What was that black worm/tadpole thing that came and curled up in my chest, all wide-eyed and innocent looking four years ago just before I awakened?" "Who was the woman on the great black beast, a black leopard or panther that landed on and clawed at my chest while she exclaimed 'Now I will teach you something?" Why go into the belly of the beast, when you can carry it within? "Keep your friends close, keep your enemies even closer", I guess. But, my imaginings were nothing but promises that would be broken. And this caused me to begin receiving guidance through my body, allowing it to talk to me of it's inspiration. And this was richly rewarded. I was never to know ahead of time where, how or when. I had to be willing to change direction in any given moment. Promises were fulfilled precisely when I remained alert to "inner knowing", guidance and prophesy.
Now I understand a lot about what the one called Jesus said, why he had a sort of schizophrenic personality, why his disciples were misled, why things didn't happen exactly as he had said, why certain scriptures were chosen, why the one called Jesus did not prophesy all things always clearly. We who go through this are not given to know things ahead of time. Our thoughts are always broadcast and so as soon as God reveals anything to us, it is accessible to anyone listening.
So, what will happen to me? I do not know. I just get a mumbo jumbo about "today I am reborn", "tonight I die to myself" and those types of things. Fear, regret, mourning, which is not mine precisely as part of me is rejoicing slightly. Wouldn't you love to be that woman within whom dwelt the secret joy of a pregnant woman? The secret joy that keeps her daydreaming and humming for, to anyone else, are unknown reasons. Her softness, her strength, her ability to reason and plan, to arrange things perfectly suited by her 'nesting instinct', her perception and wisdom.........A wonderful and mysterious creature to everyone around her. A perpetual mother.
There are other secrets I have been made aware of which can be saved for independent questions. I also was moved to put up on the Detroit Village Neighborly blog links about teen emancipation:
http://detroitvillagegrandmashouse.blogspot.com/2013/05/emancipation-of-teens-in-maine.html
Most of all, I just appreciate how much this day has brought me and my children closer together.
Oh, and the whole anti-gay thing was in support of someone who was contending with it in their environment.
Forgot to add, yellow chakra is the one I have been having trouble with. It was given to me today to notice it is the "sun" chakra, not just by color, but because it is also the central one in the color spectrum of my little universe of energy. I also noticed it coincided with the area in which inspiration would come in as "inner guidance", read by my body and given to me by it's interpretation of it, never having to have gone up into my head to search for the words of the languages I speak for expression nor pictures in my imagination for interpretation.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Stepping Stone Beliefs
In these pages you will find a variety of beliefs being expressed, all of which I have explored temporarily and some of which I may have integrated. What I have learned is this: we take what we need and leave the rest.
One example is virgin births. In the middle east this is still a tradition. A young girl becomes pregnant, she is declared a virgin and goes to stay in a harem of women where they look after her protectively. Was it a virgin birth truly? Doesn't matter does it? She is protected from the dishonor it would bring upon herself and her family if people knew a truth maybe: that the father was her own, a brother or close male family member. We can accept the practice of such beliefs in such things out of compassion. The girl is a victim being protected by "deceit".
Another way one might accept the belief in virgin births is the ancient practice of being priestess in a local temple. Young women of wealthy families, even amongst the Jews, were sent to the temples to serve as priestesses. There, man returned from war whose souls needed healing would receive the services of the priestesses which would be healing to them. With God's spirit involved, his presence in the woman while performing the sexual healing, any resulting births were viewed as having been God doing the impregnating. They were God's children.
Then there is the stem cell thing. Science has discovered that the stem cell can become any type of cell in a body. This cell's potential obviously began, lying dormant in the unfertilized egg of a woman. So, with the right trigger, sperm wouldn't even be needed for the stem cell to come into existence and begin becoming the various cells needed to form a body. God simply has to ordain it, He doesn't even have to be involved. Thus, a birth TRULY could be virgin.
Found this today after writing this page:
Babies can send stem cells to mommies
http://www.roomoffun.com/did-you-know-that-during-pregnancy-if-mother-suffers-organ-damage_1502.html
See how that works? Stepping stones: a deceit that could be considered reasonable and thus acceptable to a potential combination of spirit and pretense right down to quite actually possible. That is why our minds should become flexible in accepting, analyzing and allowing in a variety of beliefs. It is the path to allowing our mind into accepting our inner convictions if we hope and believe in miracles, have an inner convictions that they CAN exist.
So, don't be afraid to let go of beliefs. They may have been given to serve you for only a while. Don't be afraid to change your identity. It is SUPPOSED to happen.
I am truly enjoying this new softness in me. Warm, joyful and loving, but not the least bit weak. Firm and assertive without any resistance and thus forcefulness, simply firm and reassuring. A stability, unquestionable. Security. Certainty.
It is unquestionable and can be challenged, but the confidence is that it will meet those challenges, they will be effectively met.
It is O.K. to admit we do not have an answer in a given moment. A statement can be given and accepted with confidence, even if we do not know how it fits into the puzzle or what it means. Ask, and understanding WILL be given. Give it a moment. That's all you need.
"If it doesn't matter to you, why SHOULD it matter to anyone else?"
"Because it maters to me"
Liberty is needed to support health and well-being. It IS a need, a requirement, financially. "Excesses" that bring enjoyment are just as much a requirement as having enough to sustain basic physical needs.
And yes, it comes in sort of Hodge-podgy because we are multi-generational, multi-faceted, and multi-dimensional. We do many things simultaneously. It is healthy. It is practical. It is efficient. It is effective. It has a purpose in being this way. It is not A"D"H"D", it is not a deficiency but rather an excess and it is not a disorder, it is well being. It is not hyperactive unless it is not allowed to exist within, in other words, if all attention must be focused outward, yes, it manifests as "hyper physical activity". Allow them to be doing inner while participating in outer and all needs are met, energy is properly channeled, much is accomplished and it is not disturbing to anybody. But, hey, if a label gets one social security in this system, nothing wrong with using it to meet our needs.
I realized there were those whose energy I would take in and heal, then return to them. They would refuse, refuse to take responsibility for it, so I was carrying around a bunch of energy that did not belong to me. heavy baggage, really.
I also realized about how there were those who would take understandings I was given, use them to control, manipulate, and abuse other people-especially men against women. They cannot do that with this energy. It is self-reflective. To use it is to be self-reflective or self-condemning. it has no power for those who would want ot misuse it. They have ot back down and out of it if they cannot use it as intended.
Nice vid supports a lot of what I had been coming to believe myself, my methods of journeying, and I think I might be "gnostic", lol. Checking them out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_9MfFewdTo
This is an oldie but goody. Some women are still pestered by this. Call me this, I dare ya! lol I'd be flattered and proud.
http://www.vdaysouthbay.org/originsofcunt.htm
And always, just as a reminder, death doesn't always mean literal complete physical. It can mean death of certain aspects and the parts of our flesh in which they dwell. Thus it is that when Satan comes as an assassin, he "beheads" only the chosen ones; kills their corrupt belief systems and "left brain thinking", allowing the sacred child within to be the one and only "householder" in a person.
One example is virgin births. In the middle east this is still a tradition. A young girl becomes pregnant, she is declared a virgin and goes to stay in a harem of women where they look after her protectively. Was it a virgin birth truly? Doesn't matter does it? She is protected from the dishonor it would bring upon herself and her family if people knew a truth maybe: that the father was her own, a brother or close male family member. We can accept the practice of such beliefs in such things out of compassion. The girl is a victim being protected by "deceit".
Another way one might accept the belief in virgin births is the ancient practice of being priestess in a local temple. Young women of wealthy families, even amongst the Jews, were sent to the temples to serve as priestesses. There, man returned from war whose souls needed healing would receive the services of the priestesses which would be healing to them. With God's spirit involved, his presence in the woman while performing the sexual healing, any resulting births were viewed as having been God doing the impregnating. They were God's children.
Then there is the stem cell thing. Science has discovered that the stem cell can become any type of cell in a body. This cell's potential obviously began, lying dormant in the unfertilized egg of a woman. So, with the right trigger, sperm wouldn't even be needed for the stem cell to come into existence and begin becoming the various cells needed to form a body. God simply has to ordain it, He doesn't even have to be involved. Thus, a birth TRULY could be virgin.
Found this today after writing this page:
Babies can send stem cells to mommies
http://www.roomoffun.com/did-you-know-that-during-pregnancy-if-mother-suffers-organ-damage_1502.html
See how that works? Stepping stones: a deceit that could be considered reasonable and thus acceptable to a potential combination of spirit and pretense right down to quite actually possible. That is why our minds should become flexible in accepting, analyzing and allowing in a variety of beliefs. It is the path to allowing our mind into accepting our inner convictions if we hope and believe in miracles, have an inner convictions that they CAN exist.
So, don't be afraid to let go of beliefs. They may have been given to serve you for only a while. Don't be afraid to change your identity. It is SUPPOSED to happen.
I am truly enjoying this new softness in me. Warm, joyful and loving, but not the least bit weak. Firm and assertive without any resistance and thus forcefulness, simply firm and reassuring. A stability, unquestionable. Security. Certainty.
It is unquestionable and can be challenged, but the confidence is that it will meet those challenges, they will be effectively met.
It is O.K. to admit we do not have an answer in a given moment. A statement can be given and accepted with confidence, even if we do not know how it fits into the puzzle or what it means. Ask, and understanding WILL be given. Give it a moment. That's all you need.
"If it doesn't matter to you, why SHOULD it matter to anyone else?"
"Because it maters to me"
Liberty is needed to support health and well-being. It IS a need, a requirement, financially. "Excesses" that bring enjoyment are just as much a requirement as having enough to sustain basic physical needs.
And yes, it comes in sort of Hodge-podgy because we are multi-generational, multi-faceted, and multi-dimensional. We do many things simultaneously. It is healthy. It is practical. It is efficient. It is effective. It has a purpose in being this way. It is not A"D"H"D", it is not a deficiency but rather an excess and it is not a disorder, it is well being. It is not hyperactive unless it is not allowed to exist within, in other words, if all attention must be focused outward, yes, it manifests as "hyper physical activity". Allow them to be doing inner while participating in outer and all needs are met, energy is properly channeled, much is accomplished and it is not disturbing to anybody. But, hey, if a label gets one social security in this system, nothing wrong with using it to meet our needs.
I realized there were those whose energy I would take in and heal, then return to them. They would refuse, refuse to take responsibility for it, so I was carrying around a bunch of energy that did not belong to me. heavy baggage, really.
I also realized about how there were those who would take understandings I was given, use them to control, manipulate, and abuse other people-especially men against women. They cannot do that with this energy. It is self-reflective. To use it is to be self-reflective or self-condemning. it has no power for those who would want ot misuse it. They have ot back down and out of it if they cannot use it as intended.
Nice vid supports a lot of what I had been coming to believe myself, my methods of journeying, and I think I might be "gnostic", lol. Checking them out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_9MfFewdTo
This is an oldie but goody. Some women are still pestered by this. Call me this, I dare ya! lol I'd be flattered and proud.
http://www.vdaysouthbay.org/originsofcunt.htm
And always, just as a reminder, death doesn't always mean literal complete physical. It can mean death of certain aspects and the parts of our flesh in which they dwell. Thus it is that when Satan comes as an assassin, he "beheads" only the chosen ones; kills their corrupt belief systems and "left brain thinking", allowing the sacred child within to be the one and only "householder" in a person.
The Ultimate Sweetness
As I woke this morning, a bit stiff and toxic in the body, mom's boyfriend was in the yard mowing past the window. I felt a real sweetness and decided to let the vibrations from the mower massage my body and that worked well. Trying to remember what I was working on, what I could be doing, what I had learned and wondering what I had integrated, how WAS my stomach doing? I got a picture in my mind of a sweet young soul knocking and presenting a gift to me. I wondered, OK, now that was what I was working on, is this my imagination? Started mumbling ot myself about, damn, it they are supposed to come in the body to the door respectfully, if it isn't just me and my imagination. Suddenly my youngest daughter was mad at me. Oh, shit. Oh geez. It was her and I had hurt her feelings. Damn, she is so SWEET! I love her! I love it! We spoke about it, think it's better. As stood at the door having my cigarette, I noticed other sweet little energies coming in with requests. I need a court secretary if this is going to be happening, I said in my head, laughing delightedly. I sloughed off some lingering toxins from my body. Then I thought, THIS kind of sweetness makes life worth living. There it was and there you have it. Exactly what I was needing. I began crying. Life is now worth living. Now I will begin healing. It was up to me and my body. Not even God himself could command it. I had to find life worth living. Me and my body. Now, I think I have to go check my mail for something........
This is also why I have been able to have so much compassion for my mother; I was a child just like my daughter. I KNOW EXACTLY how it could be that I would have drove her crazy. There is just so much info out there these days about such "Indigo" children, I had a bit of advantage in that I could access that information. Then I realize she could have as well, if she had truly gone looking.
And this is why I have so much compassion for my older daughters. I was still learning when I had them. My mind was used to fighting off huge demons, hiding, analyzing, wondering, being hopeless and helpless. And I have been in the minds of their fathers, I know exactly how they think and what they are hiding, I know what my daughters are up against themselves. No, I wasn't there for them because I was too distracted, learning, I had nothing of value to give them in the way of knowledge until I had gained it myself. All they could do is observe me and all I could do was let them. But now I have reached a place of sweetness. A place of deep respect. I am in my sanctuary. Recently I taught my children "My space, my body" and this morning came the phrase "my body, my sanctuary", let's respect it. Come bearing gifts and knocking respectfully, with our human voices, shall we? A secretary. So I don't hurt the wee ones thinking to myself in their presence or their presence in my presence, sheesh, lol. I really don't want to trample them. I am excited to be graced with the gift of being able to embrace them in my own sanctuary. Let it be a place of safety for them and me. "They wouldn't be here if it wasn't already". Too many tears of joy and relief coming! "It is all OK." "Now it is all OK" "Today, it starts today".
But that is why I put this on the internet. So, my inner kingdom will be respected by the older children and adults. "Until now, the kingdom was entered into by violence", there were no healthy boundaries, everyone came and went as they pleased. Now there is a standard set, healthy boundaries, methods for running a kingdom based on respect, for everyone's benefit, preventing confusion and animosity. We can be at peace.
Then I am confronted with the challenge of what to do about healing. I used to do it by taking energies into myself, transmuting them and giving them back. The result: not taking anything in. If someone wants healing they have to ask, I am no longer offering. And I am not going in. They will have to open up and allow the energies to enter them willingly. So often I have been asked and they have taken but not allowed it to change them. I will not be wasting my energy. There are standards to be met by those who are doing the asking. Or observe, learn and get permission for yourself to do it.
You have everything you need and could possibly get from me right on these pages.
Do the work and look for it.
Oh, and something I had been waiting for did indeed come in the mail today. I also "heard from" our dog "Buddy" who wants to come see me. He also thinks he should be bringing somebody with him. I am not interested in the man. The dog is more than welcome, if he can behave. He is so awesome, that dog. Cute and sweet.
This is also why I have been able to have so much compassion for my mother; I was a child just like my daughter. I KNOW EXACTLY how it could be that I would have drove her crazy. There is just so much info out there these days about such "Indigo" children, I had a bit of advantage in that I could access that information. Then I realize she could have as well, if she had truly gone looking.
And this is why I have so much compassion for my older daughters. I was still learning when I had them. My mind was used to fighting off huge demons, hiding, analyzing, wondering, being hopeless and helpless. And I have been in the minds of their fathers, I know exactly how they think and what they are hiding, I know what my daughters are up against themselves. No, I wasn't there for them because I was too distracted, learning, I had nothing of value to give them in the way of knowledge until I had gained it myself. All they could do is observe me and all I could do was let them. But now I have reached a place of sweetness. A place of deep respect. I am in my sanctuary. Recently I taught my children "My space, my body" and this morning came the phrase "my body, my sanctuary", let's respect it. Come bearing gifts and knocking respectfully, with our human voices, shall we? A secretary. So I don't hurt the wee ones thinking to myself in their presence or their presence in my presence, sheesh, lol. I really don't want to trample them. I am excited to be graced with the gift of being able to embrace them in my own sanctuary. Let it be a place of safety for them and me. "They wouldn't be here if it wasn't already". Too many tears of joy and relief coming! "It is all OK." "Now it is all OK" "Today, it starts today".
But that is why I put this on the internet. So, my inner kingdom will be respected by the older children and adults. "Until now, the kingdom was entered into by violence", there were no healthy boundaries, everyone came and went as they pleased. Now there is a standard set, healthy boundaries, methods for running a kingdom based on respect, for everyone's benefit, preventing confusion and animosity. We can be at peace.
Then I am confronted with the challenge of what to do about healing. I used to do it by taking energies into myself, transmuting them and giving them back. The result: not taking anything in. If someone wants healing they have to ask, I am no longer offering. And I am not going in. They will have to open up and allow the energies to enter them willingly. So often I have been asked and they have taken but not allowed it to change them. I will not be wasting my energy. There are standards to be met by those who are doing the asking. Or observe, learn and get permission for yourself to do it.
You have everything you need and could possibly get from me right on these pages.
Do the work and look for it.
Oh, and something I had been waiting for did indeed come in the mail today. I also "heard from" our dog "Buddy" who wants to come see me. He also thinks he should be bringing somebody with him. I am not interested in the man. The dog is more than welcome, if he can behave. He is so awesome, that dog. Cute and sweet.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
The White Horse is Riding
It was definitely the left brain way of thinking that was going and indeed, good riddance to it. It is the part that projects and what I hated about becoming "prophetic". It always made it out to be truly huge and apply to the entire world, when, in fact, it only applied to myself. It is the source of religions and causes and political systems, any kind of interference with the world around us. It projects it's self into the future, which we do not need to do as we radiate anyways and our energy is going there anyways. What we radiate from the center is what creates our future. So I some to the conclusion that any "prophesy" I am given only applies to me. Then I am reminded of when I stomped my foot, perceiving energy being driven into the ground, and not two days later Maine experienced an earthquake. Then I call out and am responded to by "Grandmother Lava", through me summoning up her strength to come flowing into my daughters, and not too many days after volcanos begin blowing in South America. But I know it is not only I going through this process, there are others as well as the Earth it's self, so we are creating this together. So, I am special and relevant, but I am not completely and solely responsible for the Earth's changes.
Some of the thoughts that came to me as I was waking and dancing the cobwebs out:
Stating opinion to authorities (asserting myself) without agenda, expectation of results nor intentions other than self expression is what opened them up to listening to me.
I noticed my major sins against humanity (things I would normally be strongly condemned and punished about) are suddenly faux paux no one is worried about.
Then my daughter says about the rain coming down: "That water is clean. That is OK for drinking". Life-giving water is flowing and spiritual understandings being channeled are safe to take in and will be nourishing. I don't have to be afraid of anything. There will only be healthy things in my environment.
The aches and pains I had been experiencing in my body made it possible for a handicapped person's energy to match mine and come into a state of oneness with it. Everything serves a purpose.
When we are young and immature, we are victims of and slaves to the law of attraction. Its when we stop reacting in harmony with it that we become free of it. And you really can feel Satan approaching and defy him with statements like "I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing!" or "In this I AM righteous!". It is only a guilty conscience or ignorance/insensitivity to the incoming energy or presence that makes us vulnerable to it. And by guilty conscience I do not mean we are doing something wrong, but that we BELIEVE we are wrong in what we are doing. We could be doing absolutely the right thing, what is appropriate and get punished simply because we feel guilty about it. And that is why people who do wrong but do not feel guilty about it are not punished for the wrongs they are doing. They tend to be left-brained, highly intellectual and completely out of touch with any inner convictions other than "I am always right about everything".
I noticed I am experiencing skin irritation as I release toxins, for me that is common. But I knew the left-brain thinking was changing and physically, literally as well as I felt a pressure in my left side of my brain and my right eye had shiny silvery images in it's vision. Things like that never really disturbed me because I have sensed them happening and when they become acutely physical I had already been given access to information about our "ascension", the "ascension process", our "evolution", etc. Relaxing and allowing it to happen, not panicking makes it an easy transition. Fear interrupts the process causing trauma and damage. And because my thinking is more clear, less divided, more stable, peaceful, etc. I know I am not going crazy. My physical health is actually improving.
More on inner convictions: what is in our heads are beliefs, what is within our body, our center, the core of our being are convictions. It is from our convictions that we gain power and authority. If the convictions are weak, they are powerless and usually give authority to somebody else. It is when one has strong convictions and a persuasive belief system that they influence other people. What makes convictions strong is consistency and coherency, stability.
Then I began a reflection: Just over 4 years ago I had experienced complete enlightenment and freedom, healing, health, and well-being, drawing only good things into my environment. Stretch marks and scars disappearing, my spine elongating, teeth radiating, and all sorts of sudden physical changes with fearlessness and a sense of innocence about everything, indeed it was complete transitioning. I experienced what I was told was a "quickening", but I had no idea what that would mean. I had never heard of anything like it except in that movie "The Highlander". Then a part of me wondered "How the hell did this happen?". So, we came up with a plan that involved two men. toward the end we squeezed in a third better suited to the end needs. As I reflected I believed we were now taking it slow and easy. It wasn't until last year when I began reading the king James version of the bible that I saw the word quickening in scripture and began to get a sense of what it means.
Butting in on my reflections came: A woman is freed upon the death of her husband-a person who is liberated from a man-made mind is a "woman" liberated from the law of her "dead" husband. We are no longer bound by marital commitments made by that husband. The heart, however, is another story completely. "She" must let go of "him" or allow a new heart to come in-one upon which is written God's kingdom. But it did not end there, it seems to be an evolving topic within me. For today I was given the perception that the heart never changes, it is written with the laws of God's Kingdom or isn't. As my left-brained mind is assassinated, I realize that the unfaithful husband of one's youth is definitely beyond redemption if he abuses and abandons his wife. As above, so below, as without, so within. Thus, there is no redemption for men who abandon and abuse women and commitments. So, someone like Ricky whose heart is hardened against his wife because she hurt him when he abandoned her emotionally, never asserting himself, is irredeemable and definitely not a character I want to get involved with. Not to mention, not five minutes after we spoke on the phone (he told me had to recharge it), someone was calling me from it because they had found it lying on the ground. Um, he had been in his apartment......still disorganized and lying. Nothing about really changed except that he became more cemented in his left-brain thinking and that is why he is experiencing worldly successes. So, though my last entry about him was a bit rough around the edges, it was an assertion that needed making but needed to be the polar opposite in energy to what my heart would normally be telling it's self; extreme self-doubt. I am worth protecting, people do flourish in my presence. When they took my girls from me, Lacey immediately got sick and was rushed to the hospital. Cheli immediately manifested a cavity and my oldest immediately began experiencing STD's when she "left me" in rebelliousness. My leaving is always resented intensely because my presence IS that valuable. A man is always responsible for a woman's condition. Amongst men, there are no victims. Oh, they play the victim so they can manipulate and abuse the women, but no, men are never the victims. And I say that with reluctance and sadness. Yes, they have emotions, but they suppress and abuse them as well. Reminds me of an insightful article about how the women's right movement began in response to hippie men not being able to wield authority appropriately:
http://twelvetribes.com/articles/getting-back-together
After reflecting on that topic, this began coming in: OK, so I am experiencing a second rebirthing as the new. Heart and mind I attained at first complete enlightenment took on the illnesses of the old to gain understanding. Born first of water(knowledge) and then of spirit/fire(understanding) of experiences. Thus I am enthroned in heaven (experienced "witnessing" this event in heaven this past season) and born into the kingdom as a sovereign entity. Didn't even realize that was what I was doing; cool beans! No, agenda, no expectation. No intentions. It just came naturally, is a natural occurrence. But, I always was inclined to follow "flights of fancy" whereas others might dismiss it for practical reasons or as "strangeness", irrelevant. That is when the story of Adam and Eve began:
Stars or "suns" are God's daughters, the planets, His sons. God gave His son a human body to inhabit-Adam and "tricked" him into accepting his sister-in the body of a woman-as his own flesh so he would learn to stop taking her for granted, dismissing her as irrelevant and using her dishonorably to suit his own purposes. To teach him to take responsibility for his actions. This brought death to him as he refused to cooperate with the plan when he realized he was to be held responsible for his sister's actions as well.. It was fine with him that she would "be in subjection" to him, an extension of his own flesh because he was treating her that way anyways. But when she discovered she had a will of her own, it became a different story. Surprised and delighted, she hadn't known she could have a will of her own and decided to make use of it, assert it, curious and even a bit resentful that she hadn't been given knowledge of it previously. She didn't realize it, couldn't be given understanding of it until she had been given the form in which to process it.
She had been the one nourishing and sustaining him. He resented it and took advantage of her ignorance of it. There was a conspiring against her, Eve, and Adam was not innocent in it. He just thought he could get away with it, deflecting responsibility for deceiving her by making her guilty, having been the "innocent" party simply trying to reveal how evil she is. He came up with thought that put her in action and thought the actions are what makes one guilty, surely not the one motivating it.
So Adam became a worm, convincing Eve he was a mighty serpent who could strike and kill her in any given moment, transforming himself in other forms was something he had become adept at having had form long before her as earth's consciousness manifesting in animal form. He even deceived her into thinking they were "together in this", manifesting as feminine entities and bodies.
In prophesying and condemning his son for an eternity, he in essence told them he would bite at her heels, but she would crush him in the head-in the end, she would be given the power and authority to destroy him completely, wiping off the face of the earth. In the end she would use it, giving her the earth and humanity, everything within and upon it. She won the right to govern his body, to fill it with her consciousness. She has gone forth conquering......Ride! came the command
This is where the white horse began riding:
She chooses a sword for each hand. It is the moment of God's choosing And yes, she is going to destroy things. No one believed her truly capable of it, really. She didn't either. But she is. And yeah, this is playing out in other solar systems. They won't even see it coming until destruction is upon them, the sword at their necks as she lops off their heads. She feels no regret. It's a righteous judgment. Any regret she felt she gave to her Father, who is the light in her universe. She is a loving and faithful child, He responds to her sentiment of affection and appreciation. It is her consciousness that will permeate everything. He sacrificed His only begotten son, the Earth's consciousness, for her health and well-being, His daughter, the universal sun and light of her Father. His son was deserving of death anyways, for all he had done to her.
In her dwelt all along something that was mighty but hidden from her knowledge and awareness. She was always complete within herself. For humanity, it will be like waking from a bad dream. And in the end they won't be sharing this story. We're killing him completely and wiping him out from memory. No need for "higher knowledge", no one will be interested in or impressed with it.
So there you have it, the past 24 hours. How much of this will spread out from me and become true for the entire planet earth, who can tell really? It has been injected into "mass consciousness" for certain. I may not be the only entity from which it is radiating. And I don't know if it simply an evil the understanding had to have at the end of it, or just an evil energy attached to a true foretelling so it could pass through the anti-matter but the last thing said was that women better get prepared, arming themselves because the true colors of men are about to be revealed, Satan's time is short and he will be dropping all pretenses. His declaration of war bold as hers. Her will is stronger because she holds no doubt in her convictions, where he knows his are questionable as are his beliefs/intentions. Her Father's will is her only intention and she believes in Him. So, even if she questions her convictions, she is still more powerful than him because the core conviction is this: she can trust her Father's instructions even if she can't trust herself. Self-doubt can be cried out after an event.
As I said, this is an inner process immediately and only pertains to "the earth and universe" within me. But it will absolutely effect my environment, the people around me, those worth saving. Those who aren't are wearing my old cast-off garments....my old energy.
Also, at the tail end of part of it was announcing Christianity as the spirit of anti-Christ, something that keeps appearing in theme lately; perceptions of Jesus not so flattering. In the end, relationship[s needing a bit of conflict becomes a thing of the past and as does the need for the negative as an insulator to come in with the positive for in the end, the core become enlightenment, creating an entire vessel of enlightenment made up of the individual's inner universe and peoples as well as outer environment, community, physical surroundings. You don't need to manipulate and master the law of attraction because you're not drawing anything unwanted. Besides, one is never truly free until they are master of nothing. And you cease being the rock people cast themselves upon, instead becoming the flowing clean, clear water they want to drink in.
As we settle down for bedtime, I am reminded of past "revelations" that I thought were delusional simply because they go against everything we are taught by any form of religion. The earliest I could remember was while reading through the old prophets of the new temple to be built by the Jews. I sensed that the gate they were told God would enter would be opened as the sun rose behind it and a woman filled with God's presence would emerge. Another time while it was given me to reflect on the story of Adam and Eve, I was given the idea that God put a bit of Himself in Eve to remind Adam he was not God. I told this to my mother once and responded with "Yeah, I know". Not that she ever pursued anything really but men, money and prestige. How would she know? But the energy behind her response revealed she was not alone. Then there was the belief that maybe the sun was the gate through which God's Spirit entered our universe and travelled to Earth. It makes sense that the earth's consciousness would be a male entity if one looks honestly at the qualities of life on it, the interactions of the animals and how it always come out of balance, destroying it's self by the consciousness it supports in humanity and then having to be brought back to life again. God's instruction to Adam was to subdue the Earth: "get yourself under control, boy." Which he never did accomplish. The sun restores him from the brink of complete destruction, the moon keeps him in balance, he always had all he needed if he would just have a bit of self respect and honored the feminine aspects within him. He wasn't even wiling to make a go of it, easily discouraged and overwhelmed, tempted. But revelation of these things mingled with self-doubt about them reminds me of what I experienced while a Jehovah's Witness: knowing I was being called out but pestered with thoughts and beliefs that I was unfit. Experiencing how leaving the organization was indeed the right thing, that it was poison and had served it's purpose for me, I am inspired ot trust the inner knowing trying to blossom, dismissing instead the head knowledge and beliefs I have been fed. The spirit of the anti-Christ is in HIM, not me.
More realizations dawn on me when it comes to the possession of my mother: how her eyes lit up and she was literally dancing in her steps behind her boyfriend as he terrorized the teen daughter of a single mother. I remember again the incident of her inciting my sister to a fit rage, shoving me into a refrigerator. Then the seducing of men to incite them against me and my sister. Her voiced venomous hatred for single mothers (who happen to be especially sacred the Father). Even in weakened moments when that evil spirit has left her, she feels vulnerable and abandoned and I comfort her, she bucks up asserting his methods as she remembers them, snapping at us for her own perceived weakness. So I give what compassion I can give her because when the day comes that he abandons her because he can no longer use her, then takes his hatred for her out on her, it will be her own face smiling back at her, worn by him, as he kills her, to the sound of his own laughter. She will be out of reach for us to give her comfort as she faces the fate she has chosen by consistently embodying him willingly, eagerly and defiantly. This "day's" comfort will be all that is ever allowed to be given her.
Was watching documentaries on horses. One showed a stallion kill a foal abandoned by it's mother because it was born disabled. Modern society would feel sorry for it and cater to it's disability. Who has what it takes to recognize, acknowledge and rid us of disease and deformity, even if it means striking dead the carriers of it? In another a man who absolutely loves horses, as I always did, had the job of culling all wild horses from protected areas and the horses that were rounded up were sold to feed Asians and Europeans. Not something your average American could stomach knowing, especially we horse enthusiasts. But if we watch equine interactions, we see the mentality of these physically embodied angels/men who fight and express dominance over females, not given them free choice of with whom and when they would mate, where they would go, etc.
So, within the feminine body resides God's presence and in this manner it is that it is God Himself, King of Kings, Lord of Lords ,on the thigh written, rides within the bride upon the white horse conquering.
Now I think on these things as I am reminded of a dream/vision on the edge of sleep. The hand of God showed me He had given the picture of a white horse and I had set it aside. My response was "Of course, you give a girl horse, not a picture of one". Then the hand of God presented a line of brown horses and told me to choose from them. "I don't want a brown, you promised me a white one", I pouted within. But I consented and began browsing the brown horses. Then the hand of God showed me some chocolate chip cookies. I was told to taste the cookies and pick out the chips-the things I liked about them. I believed the horse was a set of circumstances as were the chocolate chip cookies. But watching a video on YouTube I was presented with the idea, a commonly held spiritual belief that the horse is the body our minds ride around upon.
I began to reflect on this in conjunction with my relationship with horses. I was always good with them. Even my mom said I was a horse whisperer. I could identify with them. My horse, Shalimar, was my best friend and on him I was fearless. As I got older, Shalimar was taken from me. I was in an accident with a horse I did not like or want to be riding. I lost patience with horses in general because they were too dependent upon my moods. They couldn't just go for a ride where I wanted to go without a problem if I wanted to work out problems in my mind while I rode. I wanted a horse that would know where to go without my constant attention on the road. I suppose I am at the point where I desire the same of my body. I want it to be healthy whether or not I am having a bad moment. In watching the wild herds, I observed how, yes, there was always a lead mare, but she always let herself be bullied by the stallion. Stallions would come and go, but she did always give over authority to whichever one did come. I no longer wanted any part of being that way myself. I am choosing to hold out for the one who will be protective and supportive, appreciative, etc. without being domineering or forceful.
My body is the horse and it is brown, demonstrating illness, sensitive to all I am doing. I have been holding out for the perfect white body and the pure chocolate cookie. Or have I been wishy-washy about it? Doubtful that it could be provided. Not doubtful, because I am constantly disappointed when it doesn't suddenly show up on my doorstep as expected. I keep having to fill in the gaps with the less desirable. It occurs to me that maybe I shouldn't be taking commands. Maybe God wants me to go ahead and do it myself. A sovereign chooses where, when and how they take and respond to requests. It occurred to me recently to request that God knock before entering. When I had those thoughts I perceived the vehicle I had been wanting about to be delivered by Him personally. I received knowledge that He is happy with the decisions I have been making.
King Saul was punished with death for doing a sacrifice for himself when the prophet did not show at the appointed hour. No sacrifice is needed is the answer. So, we await instructions and guidance, for actions to be taken on behalf of ourselves, actions that essentially aren't needed or appropriate. So if God does not deliver as promised, it is because the action was not needed. Now I am just pissed and this is what God wanted, for me to call Him to account on something. To assert myself. If I can't go ahead and do it myself 'presumptuously' He needs to do things in a timely fashion, as promised. Be responsible for His actions, His promise-making. This what Job did to win his freedom from undue suffering. This what I do now. I call God into account. I want my white horse and I want it now! He had no right to ask me to serve a third man in this journey. He knew how much I didn't want it. We had an agreement, he reneged on it. What have we learned? Just because someone is weak and would allow you to cross healthy boundaries, even requests it: you do NOT do it! That is like having sex with a child. My soul has been raped and humiliated. It was allowed because He knew this knowledge would have me certain to NEVER allow it to happen again. Even from Him. I never wanted a relationship with Ricky in the beginning. I saw one good quality demonstrated and wondered about him, but that did not mean I wanted to be bound to or by him. And I wasn't really. When I wanted the loving feeling removed, it was. When I discerned his energy was destructive, I lost the loving feeling and ask that he remove himself. I believed it was God doing it. What he was showing me was that I could do it myself. And there was nothing wrong with me doing this. It was what I should be doing. It was what I had been doing and hated about myself, wondering if I was dysfunctional somehow because I believed it was inconsistent. Didn't righteous, loving people get married and love each other always? But those destined for the resurrection aren't to be married or given in marriage, he whispers to me. I never knew that was what that scripture really said or meant because we were led to believe it said and meant something different. Ricky's appearance led to confusion concerning a dream/vision where I was told there was a man being prepared for me. If Ricky was the last, as promised, then it stood to reason he would be that man.
As a sovereign, I have every right to ask questions of the one proposing a request. I have every right for terms to be expressed directly and clearly in a language my brain can understand, not some vision with non-literal implications. Yes, I have to be clear within myself, if I wish to draw clarity to me. But I should not have to deal with the law of attraction and all this bull shit. "Do not eat from the fruit of the tree". Yes, that was a clear commandment, with clearly stated results. But I could ask "What does that mean, HOW does it lead to death? Just because it is an act of disobedience or because the fruit it's self's digestion would bad side effects?" I should not have to go spinning off into experiences at every little wondering about something. I have learned to "follow the energy" thus gaining understanding without the experience of it. That was needed, the learning of this thing. I have stopped seeking out the feeling of things that make something an undesirable experience and instead have been trusting myself, not questioning my desire NOT to have an experience. That, too, has been progress I have made on this journey. "Almost finished", He says. Again, I am exhausted. We just released something as we wrote above that needed releasing. "It is finished", He says. "For now", not ominously or anything, just that it is for Ricky to challenge the accusation within himself about not doing enough to win back his wife, "the wife of his youth". He did all that was expected of him, he is the one who condemns himself and thus comes across to others as guilty of something, this thing in particular. All is forgiven in regards to him and this thing and me. What the "and me" part means. Oh, and this being used to challenge one another in this manner is utterly distasteful. I do not want it done to me anymore. I do not want to do this to others, either. Period. End of story.
As I showered, it was given: the command for the horse to ride, was God's command to my body. That is why my physical brain immediately began changing. It had been unappreciated. It's need to be stimulated and experience enjoyment ignored and neglected. I had come to understand how eating was not necessary for survival, it was simply another sensation given to experience enjoyment. Food was to keep the belly stimulated and excited, prevent it's boredom in between delightful moments. But how do we judge our body's responses? Do we detest it's horniness? Do we find hunger annoying when we are trying to focus on other things? Cigarettes and coffee are no problem, helps us both alleviate boredom, but when the body wants to refocus on something besides thinking, because it perceives, as our lookout, that we are over-thinking something, do we rebel against it? The body is our sun, our Eve, the god of our universe, the reminder that we are not God ourselves. The body sacrifices it's self, choosing to die if it does not approve of the consciousness residing within it, if it is imbalanced. When "God" told Abraham He would make him a "mighty nation", his body was telling him he would be making him a group of incredibly healthy, hearty cells with clear thinking and happiness. My consciousness had to come into alignment with my body, not the other way around. It understands we have moments of confusion, but it has patience with us in this and gives us answers if we just listen. Like pheromones, drawing a mate to us and causing sexual arousal, our body gives off energy and signals drawing our experiences to us as well. "God is in the skin". Actually and literally. It smells like us and looks like us because we ARE Him in a sense. His consciousness is in our bodies and we speak to him through it., using it, using Him. "Do not believe those who tell you He did not come in the flesh" scripture says. He comes in all flesh, in all shapes and sizes. Just as we delight in animals playing with us: God playing with us through them, He delights when we play with Him through them, and each other's bodies. God wants to taste a strawberry, is that such a sin? We enjoy it as well, His delight in us, so it is a mutual benefit and attraction to Him. Our consiousnesses go to sleep when we lose our bodies, we have nothing to dwell in. We aren't even on the outside looking in. The body is the sacrifice God makes for our sins against it/Him. That is why eternal punishment is conscious awareness outside a physical body, unable to experience enjoyment: to be on the outside looking in. Not being to able experience, express, consumed with lusts and desired experiences that cannot be quenched. Description of hell were quite literal, except that our literal minds didn't comprehend even pain is a pleasure they will have to live without. I remember when I took a drug for depression. I stopped taking it very quickly. Sure, I didn't feel depression, but neither did I feel happiness, I felt absolutely nothing and that was intolerable. I stop taking it because even the pain of experiencing depression was better than feeling nothing and I wanted those occasional feelings of happiness. I guess in that way I have already briefly experienced an aspect of hell. Enough thinking, my tells me. Going too far into things for the moment. Time to pause and let myself be filled with wondering about something else. Which I always perceived as dangerous.
Went to get a cigarette: "Father, son and daughter, a holy trinity". Body, mind and soul. The body is God's eye on the spirit and soul, it is where they meet and where He meets them. the soul is the passion/feminine, mind, the spirit/masculine.........developing concepts coming in. Don't have all the answers yet on this or where it is taking me. Two triangles that had body separating them become one star as mind descends into emotions, they intertwine to become one being, the eye of God, Body, in them. Spirit into soul within the body, the body within them.
I did not have to dance and sing to clear out the cobwebs, the cobwebs were telling me that my body wanted to dance and sing!
God is in the body when mind and spirit unite and cooperate.
horse videos:
"The Path of The Horse:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&list=WLSRMh7_b8QVxwRo8f9PLHLtTBTZoII0GQ&v=TQUMAJCh1fA
"Cloud, Wild Stallion of the Rockies"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=WLSRMh7_b8QVxwRo8f9PLHLtTBTZoII0GQ&v=RUxK-rpE2DI&feature=player_detailpage
"Brumby, Horse Run Wild"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=WLSRMh7_b8QVxwRo8f9PLHLtTBTZoII0GQ&feature=player_detailpage&v=zgv00lndzQ0
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