Just exercising

    That is what we have been doing, just exercising the brain, getting it into condition for what is about to happen. So much of what surrounds me would have come to destruction long ago, but it was put in preservation for this day, this moment, a little something upon which I could sharpen my teeth, so to speak. Like, going to the movies, in the dark before a huge screen that takes up the entire vision, it becomes our entire reality, we "get into it", and then at the end the lights come on in the theater and we step out the doors to a bright and sunny day or maybe a nice quiet evening, another reality in full swing.
   It was a practice run, a rehearsal for the "big bang!". No one was given to believe, given evidence, allowed to not take me seriously, to take offense. It was their test. And it was for me, "no big thing" so I could experience relief and gracefully walk into it. A chance to dump the baggage.
   The leaders are still under delusion, self-delusion, completely oblivious to their fates, insisting the truth does not exist. And they don't have to be convinced, they can dwell like that for an eternity. An eternity in expectation of greatness. A futility. I was only here for recognition, so I could learn to recognize things and trust my intuition. I won't always need words to explain it. My word will not be questioned. I have to be sure of it, no one else was ever unsure of it, none of my guides and attendants. The challenged me on it just so I could regain my confidence in my correctness. We're just cleaning me up and brushing me off at the moment from my long trip, journey through the "ethers". Through hell and a hellish existence.
  A woman! We all laugh out loud, not derisively. To some it does not matter, it does not offend in the least. They're fine with it, delighted in fact. They like surprises, the unexpected. They are happy to see me. They are relieved; "It is finally happening", they have been waiting, faithfully, patiently, finally excitedly.
    There is nothing marring these. They are complete. No foul energies, no taints. They were just never recognized. acknowledged in history, no one told their stories for they were detested and hated and rejected, just like me. I always came across what seemed like the real thing, but wasn't. It was just allowed to look like it for a moment for my own enlightenment. Take the one piece of the puzzle, the one seed, the one piece of jewelry and flee for they were evil. And I just stole the seed they were given to hold for that one brief moment just for me. Like Hansel and Gretel, following a bird crumb trail through history, we picked up the pieces and fled.
  Now the real thing will be left in the open, lying bare on the stone for any passerby who travels and take s a brief glimpse at, to them, insignificance. Because it is unpretentious. But in it they can swim, easily, fluidly and so the words aren't important, they'll just like the energy. It's easy, soothing, free, relaxing. It's like the shower we take for granted. We don't give it honor, we hate to clean and maintain it, but we are an absolute mess without it! So, we have to occasionally get shaken up a bit over it so we don't take it for granted. That is why I leave on occasion. But when I come back, they want a guarantee they can take me for granted again, beat me into believing I am insignifigant so they can take me for granted or eject me so they don't get comfortable with me around, so they don't get comfortable again and then experience upheaval. So why don't they just treat me with appreciation, then? Why does it not occur to them to maintain me? They're too busy and I am too easy, so I have to maintain myself if I want to be present with them. But from me do they truly truly benefit? Do I really change anything? Do they change, are they bigger people because of me? Yes, I inspire them and take the credit. They are too afraid to give me credit because then I might think less of them, it's their insecurity, it eats at them. They aren't all humble like me, able to accept it. Because I accept my limitations when they can't theirs, that irritates them further because that is just another reason to be insecure. I am so flexible it is amazing, hard to accept, to appreciate when on hasn't yet observed it. Not everyone can be like me, but some can appreciate it. That's what makes me queen. I AM different. Queen of Creation.
    That's funny from this perspective, though it makes perfect sense and there is nothing funny about it. And no, there is no one I will ever be able to "be myself with". I will always have ot be something to somebody, mother, director, etc. roles to be fulfilled. Even lovers will have their expectations of what greatness is, is supposed to be about. Only GOD of Creation will know about and can appreciate the true essence of me. Only with Him can I be myself.
   Sometimes we have to put on pretenses so we will be properly respected.
 Embodying my maturity. Which has been waiting for me I wanted it to wait until I was in the right energy. I have been in control of my destiny, to a degree? or completely. Completely. I had those capabilities. They couldn't understand why I didn't just embrace it. They were observing and then seeing the sense the sense in the things I was choosing.