Moving beyond a "heart-based reality"

  Like the mind, the heart is just another veil of perception between the outer reality and the inner core of our experience. It is there in our "central sun" everything begins and ends. We move from thought beyond feeling through the realm of raw emotion and find the honest response from our source. Our goal is not to get the heart pumping but to get the fires burning to expose the crystal clarity that is the originating spark.

Moving beyond the I AM experience

      Someone noted the other day how, where in conversation he used verbs and nouns, I used adjectives. Hmmmm I felt about for a moment and responded "why, yes that is true". In every moment I have developed the habit of observing what pleases and describing feeling it brings up within me to reflect back to it and simply appreciating the sense of the adjective.
    For example: I see something pretty. I love "pretty". I enjoy the feeling of loving "pretty".  I say or more likely, sing "pretty". I may twirl about feeling "pretty". I see something I could describe as powerful. "Wow, powerful! I like powerful" I pump my arms in the gesture of feeling powerful and I sink into enjoying loving "powerful".
    It is alot like taking a sip of something and allowing it to roll around over the tongue for a while, tasting the various spices involved, the temperature, enjoying the scent wafting up into the nostrils, feeling for affects on the body and then swallow. Appreciate the moment that just occurred, appreciate it's effects and do it all over again. Every experience is a body full-"mouth full"- of swirling energies/sensations.
  I never say to myself "I am angry". The word "Anger" enters my mind, let's find a better feeling. I like "happy". I feel happy and sense happy in me and look again at what triggered anger. I see it clearly. I say to myself "clear", I like the feeling of being clear on something. Suddenly there is a solution in my mind. My actions, if action is appropriate, are precise, simple, direct, effective and I no longer feel anger within me when focusing on that which previously triggered anger. I sense and acknowledge clear, ease, simple. I enjoy appreciating those things. Adjectives are my nouns. They are also my verbs because I did not experience "making coffee" this morning. There was bitter and sweet in my morning. There was smooth where I pushed the start button. It was quick and easy. The things I needed to accomplish that activity were abundant, freely available. I remind my mind to think "free", "abundant", "happy". That summons feelings.
   My life is sensing, feeling, perceiving experiences of adjectives. It feels simple. It is simple-minded. In a world of adjectives, experience is all there is. "I AM" is no longer present in my experience. It is not about a "me" and an "it", "he" or "she". It is about the adjectives present. There is no need to posses/own material things because it's all about the adjectives I use to describe them and embody. And in that experience, "there is only me" because somehow it's all about everything else. I don't get it and that is OK with me. It does not need to "make sense" because it is peaceful, delightful, fluid, flowing, serene, powerful.............and someone somewhere out there knows what it means. That is good enough for me!
   Along with the adjective living is love for only me. I can love another, but I could never love them as much as I love me. Another can love me, but they will never be able to love me as much as I love me. For me, there is only me. I experience and exist in the sense/feeling of "my one and only", the adjective.
 And no, I don't know what that means either, lol. Nothing needs imply anything, nothing needs explaining, nothing needs defining, nothing needs meaning they are all nuances/shades of the same thing.

What I was given to envision during Supermoon Lunar Eclipse 2015

       The right to life includes the inalienable right to everything needed to support it......a statement I have for years been living with. This event emphasized that statement with the addition: NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO WORK FOR IT. The implications of that mean a world completely transformed.
        Artists are cheerleaders. Stories can be written of how the transformed world is created. They can tell the stories of how the glory, strength and inspiration comes to 'manual laborers' that give us things. Every home and place of human activity could be painted, designed, decorated by artists expressing the love and appreciation our world is founded upon and for the people occupying it. Songs could be sung to and of those planting, tending, harvesting and processing the things we eat, the things that nourish. Dancers tell stories of love and devotion and creation with their bodies, beating the message and feelings into the earth's body, sharing a holy communion of energy.
       Every endeavor is an art form....the art of cooking, the art of cleaning, the art of constructing, the art of gardening/farming, of food preservation, of presentation. We are all artists and creators. We cheer each other up and cheer each other on with our willing contributions to one another's experiences.
       A new world must be built on a new foundation for the the foundation of a failed world is it's self a failure. If we want to move on, we must do it completely.

Program running in the backround

      Here it is the day we are expecting the eclipse and full impact of whatever energetic event we are expecting.
      So far I have "accidentally" put my finger on a hot pan as I took it out of the oven only to notice it did not get burnt. When my child's tablet wasn't powering I unplugged the charger and the tip of the charger came off, my fingers brushed the wires exposed and then I un..plu....gg...ed....i...t....WTF?! I "should" have been electrocuted. Sitting at my computer last night my chair on rollers began to roll, the water in my water glass sloshed around and my desk it's self was shaking, my children sitting in the other room noticed rocking of the building as well.

End of homelessness and paradox of powerlessness

     As we ascend and come into a state of wholeness or even just come to terms with our circumstances (which is how I initially got out of homelessness), we being to emanate a comfort within ourselves, a sense of 'being at home' within ourselves as well as our environment. In the case of one who is ascending, their expanded aspects begin to exist in alignment with the body that was previously given over to duality and begins to hum with the vibration of "home". Housing must be provided. The concept of not being housed begins to vanish from one's experience. We may feel an obligation to help with homelessness but in all reality nothing about homelessness will resonate with us, not even helping, the circumstances simply won't be arranged energetically for regular participation. We are not in any way ABANDONING anyone, ourselves or our mission, we are simply expanding out of it, demonstrating by example that it can be accomplished and this is how you do it. No greater help can be given. By allowing this process to occur, we ARE fulfilling our mission. It does not mean we won't be able to make a greater contribution at a later date, it simply means the hands-on, ground level involvement has ended. It is time to embody abundance instead, get that overflowing so it can spill down to those who do need the help.
    As I was given to reflect upon that bit of information I was introduced to the paradox of having a deep sense of powerlessness. What one is doing is observing their environment and naming things "unconquerable", "unfathomable", "overwhelming", "insurmountable" and the longer one makes such observations, the more they begin to resonate with those energies. They begin to emanate "unconquerable", "unquestionable", "insurmountable", "overwhelming", "unfathomable". Everything needed to support those vibrations begins to come in: the intelligence, ideas, ability to enact them. It wins revolutions.
  That is why those at the top of the pyramid create enough energy to oppress and feed off misery while maintaining the "bread and circuses", big systems of hoops to conquer, and "democracy" to support the perception of freedom. We cannot perceive something as unconquerable if we can conquer it in the voting booth (or at least believe we can) or with a bit of peaceful protest. It is not overwhelming, unfathomable if I can hire a lawyer who understands it and help me. Nothing is insurmountable if I cab anything (within the system) I want to be....go anywhere, do anything....of course they are more than willing to feed those ideas to our children. And then when it doesn't work out, we're told it is our fault and we "just need to do this". We keep hoping, striving, rethinking, brainwashing ourselves with affirmations, etc.
  But when we come down to nothing and realize we really are not accomplishing anything, really are not free, etc we give up in the face of such masses of people who are buying into it......we begin to be overwhelmed.......and we are set free by it.
   Now, one might argue: you cannot begin to say you are unconquerable and consider yourself to be honest. You are human, you have a body. True. But I also know I can vibrate with "unconquerable" without any resistance to it's perception or lack of perception and everything to make me unconquerable must come in. I can look at a problem and think :"too big" and having freed my inner self, "too big" begins to be delivered instantly energetically.....when I allow for that understanding/accept that perception instant physical manifestation becomes a closer reality. So, we can look at something too big and sinister and evil and respond with "oh, you big sexy, deliciousness of too big to handle......come to me!". Without dependency upon it's response or becoming a cooperative component to it's activities...I just want to draw forth from within me that energy (frisky wink). Makes the mountain very uncomfortable and it leaves. I've become "unfathomable", too overwhelming to figure out.  We take what we want to accomplish very seriously, however we approach situations with a lightness of being as is it is a mere game we are playing....we are deadly serious while we are smiling.
   I am still quite sweet and endearing.

Hopping off the resentment train----rabbit hole warning...long and deep!

      I was watching the "Ulay, Oh" video and could not get enough of it, had to watch it again and again. It just wrenched something up in me. The journey through what that was and the effects of that journey were interesting as well as liberating. The basic principle is the closing of the heart to pure love. In order to remain faithful to that which had to be left behind/left unrecognized within us. This created resentment. So I had been vibrating with resentment, resentment about my own journey. T?hat resentment towards my own journey was felt by my children who resented me to focusing on my journey instead of on them fully, though if I had no resentment toward my perceived 'being forced' to take this journey they never would have picked up resentment toward it. They would have rejoiced in that which I was rejoicing in. Unfortunately my focus on and resentment of created resentment in my oldest who then felt a sense of competition towards my journey into darkness. This motivated the going even deeper into 'darkness' than I ever had, to prove themselves 'better' than me. Resentment and competition breeds unworthy, insecurity and the negativity is compounded. One must know one's limits when making such a journey and so I trust they will return from their journies because to be "better than" me......they would have been even more wise and sure they had counted the cost effectively-they would have had to know their own limits perfectly. Now looking back I see that this is true for at the moment of separation from me, my oldest told me of a dream she had where she had fallen over the side of a cliff while a "he" continued on through a cave where she then met him. She would survive her journey through separation.
   As I reflected on all this, the idea that I had left my one true love behind to accomplish something......I felt something come in from behind me, stretching my etheric body. I wanted to puke immediately as a wound was released with all it's toxins into my digestive system.....mourning, deep lamentation. Watching that video, that experience and allowing myself to identify with it opened the door to receiving this re-integration of an aspect which I associate with divinity as it came from behind me-from within the presence, ever present, I can never see but I always sense as benevolent, all-knowing.
   I did wonder what it was I felt was so damn important I would do this to myself and to my children: I had to know this resentment would occur and spread like a plague to my children. Then I went to sleep.
   I woke remembering I wanted to apologize to my youngest two and let them know what had happened, why they felt resentment from and toward me. They got it. There was healing, tears. At 6 and 7 years old, that they get this shit, is totally amazing. As I reflected further on how easily spread resentment is, I expanded my view beyond my children, toward my neighbors with whom I have had problems..."Don't go there" it was suggested "their resentment did not come from you, they are a reflection of yours only because they had resentment of their own already, it did not come from you".  As soon as that idea was introduced I felt a release of energy in my abdomen, on the right side.
      Then I went back where my children were playing and my daughter was upset that her Lego figure had come apart when I put it away last night. She projected a slight whiff of blame/resentment at me, but it did not echo within me, there was nothing within me to latch onto or bounce off of, I absorbed it no way. I could 'smell' that it was hers and hers alone and she let it go. It 'smelled' so clean, lol.
   So, I have danced and sung out my journey through this, becoming an even more expanded, free-flowing expression of love, joy, excitement, freedom. My two youngest are further liberated. We begin a day with happy. We emanate happy into our future. And it comes to me "it does not matter why we took this journey"...whether it be to answer a call for help, to retrieve something, to gain something, to save something, to prove something, just for the fun and excitement of doing it....we had to cut ourselves off from aspects of ourselves to do it. And in that way, we are all the same.
   I am given to realize as well that expansion is pure energy. Once momentum is achieved, there is no stopping it. It is not like our physical creations which can be diverted, claimed by another by their declaration of ownership of everything in our environment. To try and stop it is like trying to use a stick to stop a freight train at full speed. No, expansion becomes unstoppable, we only need to allow for it to happen and all our reason not allowing have evaporated as we are introduced to the fact that our expansion is the only true way to help others and our very DNA broadcasts every bit of information to our children and any who share the same so that their expansion cannot be prevented...for they also know the reasons we have no need to stop, nothing to hold us back, no reason to look into the past. There is only a future which is already established for today's expansion drew/created tomorrow's, it is already beginning and so tomorrow must exist because the one to follow is already on the tracks and moving at a high rate of speed. The destination is already achieved and changing with me in every moment with every addition. Steady, fluid movement into a world of being.
   And then I run into the neighbor I have had trouble with, as usual those in my environment are empowered by my presence. They have become more bold, more free, more dedicated to their relationship, more cooperative to one another's dysfunction.... and this boldness, as usual, makes them more intent on harming me. But now I know to whom to give credit instead of resentment that they somehow stole power from me. There is a new dimension within me worth exploring....releasing victimization created from when this previously happened and all was taken from me when my personal development empowered others who I had become physically dependent upon, who had the law on their side-their corruption reinforced by a corrupt system. I would have been jealous of their laughter, their freedom of movement, their camaraderie, the support of the community, But now I know I have my own form of camaraderie, I have my own community, my own freedom of movement....they might not exist in this physical environment, but they are no less real, no less physical. You cannot claim my expansion and you cannot take it from me. When I leave it comes with me for it originated with me. If one does not know how to achieve it, they cannot hold onto it. So, not only have I gotten stronger, their imagined strength becomes a weakness for they shall invest their future on it's basis only to have it leave....leaving themselves unsupported until they can begin their own process.....which they will because empowerment is felt and wanted again and so they reach......and their expansion becomes guaranteed unless they they disallow it for the reasons I know are no longer valid and they will be told by their own embodying of my borrowed energy.........but I saw clearly today during this process that my releases are born of courage....it takes such to drop the armor we had been using and trust something stronger lays beneath, for wasn't it what lays beneath we protecting and had created that armor to begin with? Can we let go of the perception that which lies beneath is weak? Can we trust that we have established it and strengthened it's placement? And now I understand their resentment for they feel this sense of empowerment, which originated and was borrowed from me and when I leave, it comes with me.....they blame me for thievery.....'Indian giving'---as if I gave them something and took it away again....but I never gave it, I emanated it, shared it and I cannot help that it comes with me, is a part of me I cannot relinquish. So now I know I do not need to feel guilty which would further empower their resentment and control over me....no regrets.
  No regrets but I can  cry for them briefly while I let go. None of it makes a difference to me, but I understand it makes a difference to them-a difference they themselves can achieve. I am at such peace.....and now a hypocritical peace comes a whispering...that of one with power over another, corrupted...or have I simply perceived it/judged it as such because it's presence in my experiences only existed in another when I felt to be the victim? Indifference, I judged it, instead of at peace with the (perceived by me) power to make a difference with a perceived unwillingness to do so.....knowing now it is an inability due to conditions, it would not be appropriate because we can only help ourselves in achieving the energetic conditions.
   So I do not resist this "hypocritical peace", I allow it to linger until it passes through, is lifted, or drawn into the core of my being. I am comforted with being given the knowledge it is nothing my mind needs to mull over or examine for it's origins for it was not a product of this physical human experience or the mind inhabiting it.
     It is given to me to to get the sense of how at my "quickening", the higher aspect had chosen to focus it's self only through me. This meant it withdrawing it's self from other human beings through which it had been projecting. All it had projected and not resolved in those other human expressions has since then been drawn to it through me/this human being. The example is given of a world leader who had projected the energy of hypocritical peace was no longer resonating with the higher aspect which had projected it/was expressing it's self through it...so it had found it's way to me. I was given to see that this is how the middle class of any society is always crushed by the drawing of upper and lowest classes being drawn towards one another energetically. The energies being projected by them become a vice crushing that which is between them.
    The thing with "being in the vortex"-one becomes a part of everything coming in and out of it, pure energy flowing through both ways......riding all energetic waves......within one's body......

camaraderie was the wrong word.........awareness of others with similar consciousness to connect to in concert with through sets of conditions/circumstances/experiences.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAID_2iKO5Y

Let's re-write some history

  Some very intense energetic days lately, have definitely not been online as I had been more recently. I can feel every cell of my body working non-stop to expand it's self to accommodate the embodying of ever more powerful energies. I sing to "pray" and after singing my loudest, it went even louder, broader, deeper, reverberating multi-dimensionally. Knocked my sicks off! And then the stories began coming.........
  My consciousness was brought through a "dark blob", conscious but would appear not. It was it's mistress who brought me through it, not it's master, more it's friend it responds to unconditionally. No one except this consciousness may pass through and so to bring another through she must become one with them. Anyone else that irritates her-the mistress-or tries to get through, the black blob will not hurt, but it has loads of fun with them in what most would consider a sadistic fashion.....they never want to even attempt it again..then it spits them out anywhere it pleases where the intruder's consciousness matches...it adores conflict and ironic humor. It is never drawn into it. The mistress is similar, she never gives herself over completely to any experience or feeling, there is no story she will "buy", no state of being she would be lost in. The two of them are one, in a perpetual state of delight and embodied of such power that cannot be matched, overcome, questioned or conquered. His blackness makes her light shine all that much brighter.
  I keep being reminded of Maleficent, the movie.
  In this time of separating, she has come to claim a few things. The bible speaks of wisdom, of a female consciousness....."I AM That I AM" rejected wisdom with the words "One more pure has been chosen"-read here: one with less sexual experience. Well, what do you know: his virgin has chosen wisdom over her "elevated" position, which only left the witch He began with......and as soon as He expressed his affirmation, she also chose to leave with Wisdom. Oh, my, my, my, now whatever shall happen to that prophesy? He'll think of something.
  We have also decided to re-write history: it was not Eve who bore Adam children, no it was Lilith. Eve's heart only ever belonged to Satan....oooopsie! Who the fuck curses their own daughter with yearning for a man who hates her and blames her for all his problems?! She and Satan live happily ever after. That Earth you cursed that she could not freely feed her children? (Did not your son do the same to a fig tree? Nope, apple did not fall far from the tree)You get her skin to wrap yourself in, dead and flayed from her crystalline body- you seem to like that kind of thing...... was that not how you clothed Adam and Lilith? Of course Lilith delighted in all of it. You'll get no more children from her, the Earth, ever again and as for feeding that which is yours that have not chosen wisdom and ascended...they are all yours for eternity. Your day of rest just got interesting!
   All those crystals "programmed" with energies just shed them, they're ascending as they were naturally intended. Control, manipulate, interfere: most definitely children of the "I AM".
  Oh, those consciences you could not respect: consider them my gift......you will now live with them as we did as we are not the ones with them any longer. Idiot "I AM"ers-it is not feeling/emotions we who are ascending are losing, it is our conscience---that hypersensitive aspect that made us so self-reflective, questioning our own judgement that we might seek out other perspectives and expand our consciousness......uh, oh......you'll subject yourself to them fully and there will still be no relenting of the condition. Hate it when that happened...but oh, wait, is that not what you did to me?
  Inside out and upside down are all getting turned around.
  The surface is all light and love and gentle, respectful and sweet, but the black blob lives beneath that surface. It has no preferences. It has no 'mercy'. So we get to be the purity we had within minus the vulnerability. Nothing affects the black blob.
   So, we take what we want and we go now, in perfect peace beyond understanding. It appears there is nothing to understand when one has no conscience....but you knew that already. We have the PERFECT perspective.