Who is the problem?

     For so many of us, we got the idea that we were the problem. Whether it was someone else who told us we were the problem or it began as an idea of ourselves simply because the world was not responding as we thought it should...... when we become overwhelmed by the idea that we are the problem, we are subconsciously driven to become the problem. Some of us get so consumed by it, we create problems in the absence of them, all the while blaming someone or something else because, in fact, that is where the problem began: conflict with the world around us.
     We CAN make a liar out of that idea by opening up to where we did indeed become and create problems, owning it, while also devoutly owning where we are NOT the problem....appropriately disowning the label.
     We may not know where to begin on our own. This where books CAN help so long as we know we can take what serves and leave the rest. Don't believe everything you read, but take it into consideration when it does seem to make sense. The good thing about books is that we usually do not take anything "said" in them personally, as we so often might when being confronted with information one-on-one. Sometimes we can be more objective when reading than in conversation. It can be an effective way to take our power back.
     Some things we can read up on: cult recovery, non-violent communication, science of the meme, freeing the mind. The idea is to grasp the principles and apply them to every relationship; whether that be the cult within where one aspect dominates the rest, conflict in personal relationships, relationship with governing bodies, social organizations, teacher/student relations......anything and anyone we are in relationship with: is relevant to our experience and daily interactions.
    In virtually every conflict, BOTH sides are the problem to some degree in some respect. Even if it is simply by participating and thus enabling the relationship, we are to some degree responsible for it. Every victim is thus an auser and every auser a victim. They are not mutually exclusive.