Narcissism

      I was asked to fill in for a peer for a peer counseling group. Synchronistically, a post came across my Facebook newsfeed about narcissism and I had some elaborations come up within me. The material I used for the group follows, consisting of the post, my elaborations and a link to clinical definition, diagnosis and treatment information.

      

I've seen women do this to men as well! It's not even just the holding of an arm. It could be using one's body to block retreat from the interaction. They push until they get threatened or hit then scream "abuser". No one is obligated to hear more of anyone's "side of the story" until they're forced to accept it! The backlash is self defense, not abuse. The "other side of the story" is usually gaslighting anyways; a narcissistic "coping mechanism". Don't forget; they've been conditioned as well. Doesn't make it OK, just a fact of abusive environment.

We would want to be sure we haven't misperceived what someone has said and throw about the term "gaslighted"; when stressed we tend to hear what we expect to hear or are afraid to hear. That would make us an inadvertent gas lighter. We could ask what someone said or thought they heard to clarify what is happening. This will help the inadvertent gas lighter to experience other than what they've been conditioned to fear and/or expect. If they don't cooperate with an attempt like that LET IT GO. There's fear in seeing and experiencing better feeling potentials for many of us. There's insecurity. There's regret that we wasted all of those years in fear and expectation. Self loathing that we didn't open up to it. Let it process in them. Respect that boundary.

As an aside; I've witnessed the intentional working up of someone just so the provoker can call them crazy, over emotional, etc. Also, the "hit and run"; accusations immediately followed by leaving.

Also: misperception via what we expect and/or fear can lead to us spreading false rumors about what we are or we've witnessed.

Link to clinical info on narcissism in comments.

https://www.emedicinehealth.com/what_are_the_nine_traits_of_a_narcissist/article_em.htm?fbclid=IwAR2Lb0S4R9IF_2d1XpM0VHS06_Iq9urLQbdFZaX7f2QFIfw7umf4jM8IXsYhttps://www.emedicinehealth.com/what_are_the_nine_traits_of_a_narcissist/article_em.htm?fbclid=IwAR2Lb0S4R9IF_2d1XpM0VHS06_Iq9urLQbdFZaX7f2QFIfw7umf4jM8IXsY