Realization; another victim consciousness aspect biting the dust

       I realized that I had perceived myself a victim of my own self-awareness and intuition. Coming from an abusive environment where it felt like every healthy-for-me boundary, hope, desire, assertion of true self was felt to be met with violent resistance of one energetic form or another. No surprise that I began to expect it. I thus manifested it, perpetuated the experience of violence in response to self declarations.

       Being in the Slabs began to liberate me from those expectations, but my drunken state of depression clouded my ability to fully realize it. In a place where people can express self determination liberally, I had mustered up the confidence to practice it as well. I began to expect it to be respected, because for the most part it was, though not fully aware of this shift within myself.  

      In my present clarity I am able to realize this and affirm it to the aspects within me still living in the victim to myself mentality. Viva la Libertad!