The reason for the season, anti matter and all knowing

     In anti matter is where God exists. To create separation, something with as few qualities as possible in common with our creator had to be created that we may then exist within it. It is the space between us and God consciousness, but it does have a quality of our Creator in it and it is through it that God travels to us and we to it. Send negative consciousness into it, back to God, Creator and it will cease to exist, manifest within creation. It is complete darkness and ignorance. It's opposite is complete knowingness. In complete knowingness we become separate from it and an expression of God within it. Yet, because it IS God, God can exist within it and through it. The degrees of consciousness between the two are the buffers between God and it so that we may exist separately, as a separate thing/being.
   So, to create us, that which we call God created anti-matter/complete darkness and funneled through it complete knowingness surrounded by varying degrees of darkness, extreme good and evil, polarities, like positive and negative neutrons spinning around a nucleus, sometimes colliding, creating movement. That is why the deeper within we travel, the brighter and brighter our consciousness. We must learn to do this, if we wish to continue to exist. That knowledge is already within us, we just need to channel it. Death does not to live within, but Paradise exists, surrounded by the varying degrees of darkness. We do not have to experience death, we need but allow it to exist around us. We live with a bit of conflict, rather than hatred, a distaste for it; that which we wish to be near, appreciate yet wish to remain separate that we can see it as separate, enjoy and appreciate it. So, we lack something in common with those we love, something about them is distasteful to us. We must allow this to exist and embrace it because it is what keeps us separate enough to experience oneness as separate beings with separate qualities such as masculine and feminine, mother and children, mother and lover, and so on. The will to live is the will to engage in conflict, the will to assert ourselves against something different. We can do so in playfulness instead of animosity, playfulness. Banter can be good natured yet serious. A loving form of sarcasm. A strong assertion without judgment. Neutrality in it's energy yet forceful in it's nature. Maybe a little over-excitement, even. Many methods to the *madness* of it. Just keep laughing about it. That is why "sadness"/death comes with understandings being given, so it can travel through the anti-matter safely, in tact, to be delivered to you. So, you get the understanding and then be rid of the sadness, the understanding can then be incorporated. That is the reason for the seasons of enlightenment: fall delivery of intense light, followed by the depression-ridding ourselves of the sadness surrounding it, and then springtime/rebirth/integration and a summer of incorporating it. That is why perfect health comes with a bit of illness. That is why there might be a period of forgetfulness between periods of extreme enlightenment/knowingness. This is why breakthroughs will come with/immediately following slight irritations. And death before life everlasting. Before extreme wealth, will come extreme poverty. Healthy, wealthy, enlightened people are thus a bit ornery.
    That is why we are doing this slowly. That we may die, little by little, piece by piece dying and being resurrected that we do not need to die completely. Instead we transition. The deepest love comes surrounded by the deepest hatred. Plant life is the insulating layer between animal and man and the earth's crust, it is the cycle of life and death in the environment to sustain an everlasting population.

An example of the process would be the "rant" that came up out of me immediately preceding this pocket of understanding. Interesting enough, the assertion was in it's self an understanding riding in on negative energy, but still an assertion that needed to be made. It just felt like a rant and being bitchy about something.
"

My Mother's Day gift to myself. some may call it ranting, I call it asserting my God given opinion.
I don't care what YOUR reasons, you DO NOT take a child from it's mother. Does a man's blood mix with that of his children? NO IT DOESN'T.
You believe children need help being "saved" from a "bad" mother? You the dad? Too bad, you're the one who f&cked her. That was your opinion, that's as far as it... counts and it no longer matters. You made her the mother of your children. Running to courts and public opinion is "running to mommy" because you're whiny children incapable of taking responsibility for yourselves and your opinions.
Not the mother or father? Then help the mother with what SHE believes she needs help with THEN maybe she'll be open to your opinion of what YOU believe she needs help doing, accomplishing, changing, help with.
Is your opinion different and you're a woman? That only proves it's a reflection of your poor self perception, get some self-respect. Only a woman who hates herself judges another woman as "unfit". God decides who is or isn't unfit.
Man with a different opinion: get some self respect, there are plenty of men who recognize the responsibility they had in choosing who would be the mother of their children and yet still refuse to take her children from her despite their opinion she might be unfit. They still support and back her, help her when they can. Acknowledgement of mistakes, taking of responsibility, is a form of self respect in action. Get some of it, then you might have a God given opinion.
You a teacher, daycare provider, foster parent, etc: what the h&ll are you doing raising other people's children?! Taking their responsibility from them! You're a thief and a liar no matter which way you put it, the only service you're providing is self-serving.
Now, the brains are struggling, looking for excuses, reasons, examples they might use to argue this. Forget it. You won't be able to handle the ugly truth of it. Don't DO anything with this. Just allow it to happen."

Another example would be in the book of Revelation: in the beginning of the thousand year reign, the battle of Armageddon is a violent confrontation. At the end, New Jerusalem is surrounded. Before any violent battle can be engaged, the 'enemy' is consumed by fire from God- we have learned how to transmute the energy rather than project negative energy back and forth between us. Once this is accomplished, the scrolls come out and judgment happens. We become accurate judges of matters: we have good, fair, balanced judgment about what is appropriate.

The Core Belief System-Another Liberating Sabbath

      First we had to tackle our perceptions, for they determine how we view our thinking. If we believe/perceive our thinking is appropriate, we won't change anything. Once we perceive there may be flaws in our thinking, we begin to observe our thinking and this observation will cause changes. The left brain has feelings and the right brain has feeling about it's own as well as the left brain's feelings and thinking. We had to get those two mutually respectful and working in harmony. Thinking all taken care of we then went into the body. The body has a memory, thinks and has feelings. Every cell is a microcosm of our entire being. In the body is where we hold our core belief system. This core belief system is ultimately what shapes our body, our reality and our experiences of that reality. It is the mastermind of all things. Being in conflict with our core belief systems, any thought patterns we achieve would be nothing more than self-hypnotism and self administered brain washing.
    Our pituitary gland is the communication center for both halves of our brain as well as our body. They communicate with each other via dreams and visions. The left brain may manifest as a male entity, female would be right brain, and our body may be our own personality/ego speaking, it may also be a God manifestation. If we want to know what we are thinking, feeling and believing, we but need to follow those "conversations", our interactions within and between our various aspects.
     In exploring our core belief system, as in our thinkings, we begin with the perceptions of these beliefs. We may think we are a positive thinker, but in reality our positive thinking is resistance to our core beliefs. Or maybe we are a negative thinker in contrast to a lot of positive core beliefs. That which you resist persists and only worsens the matter completely. Our beliefs can also be conflicting. For example, as infants, we believe we are the only thing relevant in all of creation. As we get older and maybe rendered powerless, perceiving ourselves completely irrelevant because our wants, needs, desires, opinions are ignored and disregarded by our parents, we go off into the opposite extreme. Without a balanced perspective we fluctuate between a super ego that makes us the center of the universe and then completely undesired, unwanted and irrelevant on the other hand. So, we have a roller-coaster ride of life experiences. We could come to the conclusion that we are relevant, but to various degrees to various things.
   If we believe ourselves irrelevant, we believe life is not worth living and if life is not worth living, the planet is not worth saving. If we believe life is nothing more than a temporary journey, then our environment will reflect that belief and way of thinking. The environment includes our body. If life isn't worth living and/or is only temporary, we begin dying. Because beliefs are energy and transferred from body to body, our children are born with our inner core beliefs. They begin dying as soon as they are conceived. But we CAN change our core belief system. We can drag out hose beliefs and hold them up the light of day, examine them.
   Some of the core beliefs I have struggled with  include that anyone intellectual or having material wealth is better than me. I believed my heart and mind (left and right brain) were not capable of making good, healthy, appropriate decisions. They were not trustworthy. I did not believe I was capable of living a life of complete ease limitlessly. I did not believe life was worth living and I struggled with relevancy. I didn't believe I belonged. I didn't believe I had the right to anything special or good or life-sustaining. But I believed I could be happy and at peace. I believed I was right about a lot of things. I believed I was wealthy. I believed I was healthy. I believed I did what was appropriate. As we can see, some beliefs I had were conflicting, some were mutually sustaining. Some aspects of my life, my experience have been consistent, others haven't.
   But most important to me is now that I understand these things, I can now truly help my children. I used to think and thus believe: Why should my children believe me? I never believed my parents. This manifested as the belief that parents were not trustworthy, anything to be believed in and completely irrelevant. But I notice my youngest children believe in me deeply. As a matter of fact, they believe in me exclusively. They do not take instruction or correction from anyone else in our experience. I know, to them, I am relevant. Thus I know my core beliefs are changing. The future is already changed and secured for them in the work that I am doing.
    As evening closes I realize there is a whole lot of core belief baggage sending out negative messages: Was told I take things too seriously, so I stopped taking myself and others stopped taking me seriously. I never gave myself any credit, so nobody else gave me credit, either. I believed I was offensive, too intimidating, ridiculous, clueless, stupid, foolish, timid, incapable, untouchable and it seems the list is never ending. I am worth something. Every message ever sent to anyone in my family history is bound up within my core belief system ultimately. And that is for each of us the same. It's clean up time and the vacuum cleaner is coming ;)
   A little brown frog appearing in my kitchen triggered even further awareness if ingrained beliefs such as : I believed I should be afraid if I did not worry about things, that I should fear the unexpected, things will always turn out poorly, sudden movements could only be fear inspiring. Surprises don't have to be scary or come with strings. And as I experience being full of delight, I realize I am, can be, delightful and people can be delighted to see me coming.
   And sometimes, a bit of forgetfulness is a good thing: it allows old experiences to be new again. be at peace. You're not stupid.
  

Why a probalem with being an animal?

    Animals are born knowing what they need for survival. Parents constantly lament that their children don't come with manuals. Don't they? Being an animal is uncomplicated and not stressful. Animals are perfectly suited to their environments.

Did they really worship the sun as a god?

   Years ago, I think I was out lying in the sun when the thought hit me, I wondered if maybe the sun was a sort of portal God's Spirit came through. I have recently discovered many believe the sun is a stargate. So, when tribal and ancient societies spoke of sun gods, did they mean the gods who came through/from the sun? And if the earth is hollow with a sun in it's center, would it also be a stargate which "alien" crafts travel through? Could this be why your average person with a telescope would never see them coming from outer space? And if the center of every planet has a sun in it's center, would that be why tribal peoples speak of those who come from other planets yet we never see life ON other planets? Could there be life within the planets and those life forms travel to and fro throughout the universe/creation including other universes through their own sun centers/stargates/portals? Is this why we never see any of this happening?

God's inner sanctum

The God I experienced today was different than what I had ever before experienced. Joyful and refreshing, lighthearted. Light being. It is as if I had passed through His own outer gates, His own outer defenses in all our past dealings to finally have reached an inner sanctum of His being. I will know Him as no one else has known Him before me, or so it would seem. Others must have, for they were with me. His close attendants, attendants to/of those who have gone before me. Thus they are my attendants and attend to me. For it was within me and within others like me that God was "hiding". We were revelations of His true personality experiencing with us our limitations, our anxieties. Interesting to say the least.

Throw 'em for a loop: think with your body

They have been told to let us know the perfect human would think with the heart and feel with the mind. We can actually go one better on 'em: think with the body. And let them do the figuring. They like that kind of thing.
   They already know it will be the "mind of a man" (a masculine mind) "in the feminine body", it just hasn't clicked yet, they're still looking for and expecting it to be a man. All the "wonders" and "dramatic events" will be their reactions when they discover it is a woman. Who will be serving them, be in their midst full of discretion, as it is revealed to them.
    God is planning his surprise party. But there are more surprises in store than we think. Thankfully, we don't have to do the "super ego" thing(they always end badly). Plenty of others who know, have the experience of being God Aware of it's being human, I think. A committee with a representative for yet to become evolved humanity. Been volunteered for it. Not enough ego to get caught up and distorted in super but strong enough to maintain independence, it's identity. That was the goal of the whole thing.
   So, I am nobody's savior, but my own. Cool beans. But others believe they need saving, so a savior type vessel is needed to bring them closer to the reality of the situation.
  Now I am getting that earth's inhabitants never needing evolving, they were perfect as they were. It was those who were first that needed evolving. Earth's inhabitants were misled to believe that because they were younger, "last", that they needed "maturing".
The clarification:
   "Throw them for a loop" was the message for me, because it was what I was already doing. When it is said God consciousness is in everything, it means everything in His presence. Separate beings, independent, but "in His presence", seen by Him, having access to Him, to HIs consciousness. "Their angels are always before His face" scripture says. The "light beings" messing with humanity, are trying to ride human consciousness into "heaven", into God's presence because they lost access to it, were kicked out of heaven, out of His presence. In lieu of that, they seek extinction, escape into euphoric "oneness", bliss, a place of no feeling, no expression, a form of numbness where there is only intellectualism because they forget what it feels to be one with Creator and cannot bear the pain of separation. The weeping and gnashing of teeth is constant for them.
   And there are more humans besides me who have access to this knowledge. "I will write my law on their hearts and minds".
    The Lamb of God is ANYONE who sacrifices their egotistic goals and preferences in exchange for the Kingdom.

    So, the next day, the body is once again the focus of my meditations as I go through my day. The thought was brought to mind how the pituitary gland is what binds our right and left brain or separates them. It is also the source of God's language; visions and dreams. It is also the language of the body. The body, just as the soul/heart and mind/spirit, can think and have feelings. The union of them all is a trinity. The pituitary gland is where we all meet: spirit, soul, body and God.
    In thinking of dreams, I was inspired to remember one of mine from when I was a teenager. I was running through the woods from something. I thought to myself "I wouldn't be running, I would be horseback riding." And so in my dream I was then riding a horse, fleeing whatever it was I was fleeing. But I did not feel frightened. Today I realized I was being told in that dream that it was time to take control of my destiny. I had had a dream about a horse recently. I realize I had chosen an earthly destiny. Today as I danced, I realized the message: God is pleased with my decisions.
   The reason I was told to go ahead and think with the body, or to let the body do the thinking is because for some reason outside spirits cannot "read" it. It was one of the tricks I had been using without realizing it. It has been only throughout this year that it has been made known to me how it is that God has been disguising me, how I have been hiding and escaping, disappearing, all the methods I had been using, all the places I had created, all done for my own safety during my development.
   So, I am in the process of choosing my own earthly destiny and becoming master of my own body. I realize I withhold influence over it until I have complete understanding of it's significance, the role it is playing, how to interact with it,..... give it instruction, it says. It's potential is limitless. Just as mine is. That was another understanding I was given: I was learning how to drive my earthly vehicle, which would be the body in motion. I just have to will it, I guess, it tells me. "god's will became flesh. If we have become like God, our will manifests similarly. I have myself limited presently, until my will can be trusted by me. I'm not the type to take the reigns and just start driving something. Though I was when I was little, when I was young and impenetrable. I had no understanding but did not need it. Then I experienced the accident and everything came into question. I sought understanding about everything I was presented with.
   Now it is my body and I. It does not need special attention, just appreciation and delight in it. It's definitely not what you put into it, it's all energy and it knows what to do with it. The excess just comes out the other end. In my temple,
       I am priestess. I am sacred and I am holy. Respect my inner kingdom. I have been given it. It has to me been given. I do reign in it. I do reign supreme.
      God just wants to visit. He doesn't want to own it or live perpetually in it. He doesn't want us clinging to Him indefinitely, completely dependent. He wants us free and independent. He only usurps authority and disciplines for our own well-being. We come to know evil, like Him. We learn subjection and what that means.
Beauty, beauty, beauty.
    Oh, I also was reminded how when a woman asked me why she saw an alien on a bus that passed by when no one else did, I told her maybe it was because they could trigger her third eye, her pituitary gland. Turns out I was correct. God can trigger our bodies to do things, our minds, and our mind's eye. It is the same with other entities under whose influence we may be. They can cause us to see things, experience addictions, trigger symptoms of illness, even if we do not have an unhealthy condition. They can govern sexual attraction, loving feelings, feelings of dependency, attachment and pregnancy. Much of life can be just environmental programming. Then God comes to visit, to see how we are doing.

Just exercising

    That is what we have been doing, just exercising the brain, getting it into condition for what is about to happen. So much of what surrounds me would have come to destruction long ago, but it was put in preservation for this day, this moment, a little something upon which I could sharpen my teeth, so to speak. Like, going to the movies, in the dark before a huge screen that takes up the entire vision, it becomes our entire reality, we "get into it", and then at the end the lights come on in the theater and we step out the doors to a bright and sunny day or maybe a nice quiet evening, another reality in full swing.
   It was a practice run, a rehearsal for the "big bang!". No one was given to believe, given evidence, allowed to not take me seriously, to take offense. It was their test. And it was for me, "no big thing" so I could experience relief and gracefully walk into it. A chance to dump the baggage.
   The leaders are still under delusion, self-delusion, completely oblivious to their fates, insisting the truth does not exist. And they don't have to be convinced, they can dwell like that for an eternity. An eternity in expectation of greatness. A futility. I was only here for recognition, so I could learn to recognize things and trust my intuition. I won't always need words to explain it. My word will not be questioned. I have to be sure of it, no one else was ever unsure of it, none of my guides and attendants. The challenged me on it just so I could regain my confidence in my correctness. We're just cleaning me up and brushing me off at the moment from my long trip, journey through the "ethers". Through hell and a hellish existence.
  A woman! We all laugh out loud, not derisively. To some it does not matter, it does not offend in the least. They're fine with it, delighted in fact. They like surprises, the unexpected. They are happy to see me. They are relieved; "It is finally happening", they have been waiting, faithfully, patiently, finally excitedly.
    There is nothing marring these. They are complete. No foul energies, no taints. They were just never recognized. acknowledged in history, no one told their stories for they were detested and hated and rejected, just like me. I always came across what seemed like the real thing, but wasn't. It was just allowed to look like it for a moment for my own enlightenment. Take the one piece of the puzzle, the one seed, the one piece of jewelry and flee for they were evil. And I just stole the seed they were given to hold for that one brief moment just for me. Like Hansel and Gretel, following a bird crumb trail through history, we picked up the pieces and fled.
  Now the real thing will be left in the open, lying bare on the stone for any passerby who travels and take s a brief glimpse at, to them, insignificance. Because it is unpretentious. But in it they can swim, easily, fluidly and so the words aren't important, they'll just like the energy. It's easy, soothing, free, relaxing. It's like the shower we take for granted. We don't give it honor, we hate to clean and maintain it, but we are an absolute mess without it! So, we have to occasionally get shaken up a bit over it so we don't take it for granted. That is why I leave on occasion. But when I come back, they want a guarantee they can take me for granted again, beat me into believing I am insignifigant so they can take me for granted or eject me so they don't get comfortable with me around, so they don't get comfortable again and then experience upheaval. So why don't they just treat me with appreciation, then? Why does it not occur to them to maintain me? They're too busy and I am too easy, so I have to maintain myself if I want to be present with them. But from me do they truly truly benefit? Do I really change anything? Do they change, are they bigger people because of me? Yes, I inspire them and take the credit. They are too afraid to give me credit because then I might think less of them, it's their insecurity, it eats at them. They aren't all humble like me, able to accept it. Because I accept my limitations when they can't theirs, that irritates them further because that is just another reason to be insecure. I am so flexible it is amazing, hard to accept, to appreciate when on hasn't yet observed it. Not everyone can be like me, but some can appreciate it. That's what makes me queen. I AM different. Queen of Creation.
    That's funny from this perspective, though it makes perfect sense and there is nothing funny about it. And no, there is no one I will ever be able to "be myself with". I will always have ot be something to somebody, mother, director, etc. roles to be fulfilled. Even lovers will have their expectations of what greatness is, is supposed to be about. Only GOD of Creation will know about and can appreciate the true essence of me. Only with Him can I be myself.
   Sometimes we have to put on pretenses so we will be properly respected.
 Embodying my maturity. Which has been waiting for me I wanted it to wait until I was in the right energy. I have been in control of my destiny, to a degree? or completely. Completely. I had those capabilities. They couldn't understand why I didn't just embrace it. They were observing and then seeing the sense the sense in the things I was choosing.