Integration beginning in earnest. The initiation of me into me, The Dance within me who is she.

The loving caress of a mother, the back of hand drawn in the whisper of a touch across a cheek, as I caress a flowering bush, is felt within me.
The longing of The Dance to be inside me, to be in body that she may thus brush my cheek similarly, for it is just such a touch that I need.
The regretful holding back and withdrawing as man longing to fill his young woman with his love, she longs to be inside me, but knows the soul is not yet ready. "Hurting her would be the end of me", says 'he'. "Thank you for thus sharing yourself with me", from me, rubbing cheek to that hand,caressing me.
The smallest penetration, the whisper of a kiss, a taste so serene and sweet. Something else I need. A longing deep within me.
"Pull it back, little one" she says to me, "rest and release that which comes between you and me, the anxiety, making you unready for me". There will be another day for thee.
So goes the dance of embodiment, of this thing beloved and dear to me, The Dance, Mother and Father of all, of me.
The ghost of three. Distraction.
My soul recognizes this is her beloved, all she has been wanting, all she has been waiting for, all for which she has been longing,what her soul needs. Oneness of body. Oneness of me.
So she, the "he" in me allows the integration, allows the release, allows the rest we need. Observing with fascination as a man of a sleeping lover, a child by her mother,a dear, sweet little form, the results of his generosity, the rest he gives her. He is gracious. He is loving. He is nurturing of me.
I am loved romantically.
I have the warm embrace of a family.
I have it all growing inside me, a pregnant mother, a child within me, the child that is me. A family that is complete in me and in she and in we.
Innocence and purity, curled up and cradled in safety,warm arms and loving embrace, all holding one in another. He will not touch his sister, his lover, for right now she belongs to her mother, these babes at rest and at ease together within me.

A present sense of what is going on

As an aside: I am usually this prolific only in the fall, suggests that time is indeed speeding up.

So far this is the sense I am getting for a big picture according to awareness of knowings I receive on a consistent basis:
  We are indeed each and every one of us The Dance expressing certain desires or at least dancing toward certain desires. Like a childhood puzzle where you try to trace a path through a maze from a character to it's destination (trace a path from a duck to the pond, for example), we are either a dead end or road to freedom/fulfillment of a certain desire (The Dance has reached the pond). Those through whom The Dance can reach it's desired states of being, windows of perception, etc get sovereignty-they become their own entity with free will and individual everlasting life in an enlightened state of being. The vessel becomes it's own entity with it's own spirit, soul and body.  No one will rule in the heavens who has not experienced a physical incarnation. The final destination of each is now sealed. The dead ends  are placed in vessels, limited to only certain places of occupation and vessels (tribes), from which they can only and only they can feed off of. No other vessels will be of use to them nor have any use for them. Any attempts to violate this arrangement will result in a plague upon their tribe, further reducing their range of movement and ability to feed.
   Frankly, I  get the sense that life on earth and in the heavens is a mixed bag. We have unconscious avatars becoming integrated with conscious beings, w e have conscious avatars becoming "I, Robot"s, we have vessels in the dark who will just expire with the promise of "everlasting life" equaling a remembrance of. Basically, an understanding appropriate to smooth the transition into whatever our destined state of being is.

Grandmother Lava

Once upon a time I was seeking the highest consciousness I could come up with. The slower, more dense things are wiser because they have been around longer and because they are caught in time without moving, they can observe and reflect more deeply. That left mountains. But mountains are too intellectual and self-righteous, so what is the more feminine version of them, what is their source? Lava! And so I reached in to sense and convey my distress to "Grandmother Lava". She does not wake often (comparatively speaking), but when she does, things change. She joined with me and gave me to stomp my foot, sending my energy into the earth. An earthquake happened nearby not long after. While this was occurring I got the sense of a few things historically, I was reflecting on this after conveying to another how I was recently given to do another foot stomping. I'm not sure what it was about because I asked it just be given quickly before I over think it and hinder Spirit as I am known to do quite frequently before. And this is what I was given while reflecting upon my conveyance:

When Grandmother Lava wakes, she is usually grumpy about what she perceives is upon the earth (on her body). That's when mass extinctions occur. She decides who will stay and who will go. It was at some point The Critical Eye came into the mind of "man" and realized it was "God". Well, that's when all hell broke loose upon the earth.

Turns out, as well, that after one reaches "Eden," this "God" is the gateway/guardian to/of The Dance..maybe not a gateway or guardian per say but a serious contender to those who are drawn to and by "her".

Tidbits from here to there

As a pregnant woman begins to produce milk before the actual birth of her child, the earth was already pregnant with the life that would come to her. That is why "God" was able to draw "milk" from her (aka created) the trees, grasses, etc that would feed her young. Then came the c-section.

The sons of God and the morning stars(daughters) came upon the earth along with him. From the earth he drew men/angels. That is why the problems were caused by the nephilem: the parents were not "of a kind". Close, like a horse and donkey or lion and tiger, a male of one species and female of the other can produce sterile offspring, while genders reversed produce problems. Angels, however can reproduce with other angels/men. Humanity is the "animal skins" God made/manipulated to support "fallen angels/men", NOT for fallen gods (sons and daughters of god not of the earth).

So, "God" comes to understand his major blunder and as a sacrifice or offering of compensation to right the wrongs committed by himself and his errant children, he gives one of the first of his sons to the earth to spend a thousand years cleaning up the mess after he has flushed out the unrepentant "sons of god" and drawn to him out any repentant children. Angels/men are being taught along with Yahushua what is needed to rule the earth in peace while those still opposing this attempt at renewal are conquered with the sons of god who lead them. Scripture says that in that day humanity will walk with their own gods-angels of the earth-bringing in yearly offerings to the conqueror. So, go once a year,acknowledge the dude and we are free to return to our earthly ways. He never wanted it all, just one vessel, which he sacrifices to us for his and his children's errors/sins against mankind.
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Marriage is to mankind as The Law was to Israel: When it's term is fulfilled we leave that womb. Just as if a developing child is left in the mother's womb after it's time it begins to suffer and die, even taking it's mother with it, marriage that has fulfilled it's term must be relinquished because it will only die and take it's participants with it.

The Heart of the Dance

Hate, just do not do it blindly.
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What if a thief steals something, makes improvements upon it and is then discovered? Does not the owner have his property returned to him, any improvements considered compensation or restitution? Would this principle apply any differently to a god?
What is mine is mine. It belongs to me.
Take your children and go. Go your way in peace.
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The earth is the heart of the dance.
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The process leading up to this channel:

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You don't have to understand or share my perceptions, I just ask that you respect them.

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I find I not only do not regret my suffering and stupidities, I allow that a part of me can even honor my past.

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I no longer have to identify with someone or something in order to empathize with it. Having been somewhere once, I don't have to stay in it or go back into it to understand, comfort, raise up another who is learning what it means. Heck, I don't even have to go there at all anymore as long as I am open to empathizing with someone/something-cool!

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Upon reflecting how I felt during advocating for my children at counselor's office:

If you're standing on power, you are not secure at all. When powerless, no one can take your power away. So, then what you're standing on is yours which no one can take from you because it is of no use to them-unshakable. The one with power will always loose a battle of wills with one who has no power and no will/agenda! NOW I understand what the following scripture means! Finally! 2 Corinthians 12:9-But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 

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In response "I am w.e.i.r.d.:

Wonderful

Exciting

Interesting

Real

Different"

I think so, and seeing as I'm the one who HAS to live with me, that's all that matters.

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I think I'll say that it's no fun to be around people with "Karma Kooties". You know: those kind of people who are always miserable and stupid little bad things are always happening to them like being stolen from, missing buses, being the one dinged in the parking lot with no one owning up to it, etc. Being miserable, feeling miserable, they draw miserable little lives. And while I don't believe the law of Karma or the Law of Attraction are without universal trump cards held by certain entities like one might call God, "Karma Kooties" is just plain catchy. 'Cause when they draw the curse of say a car breaking down out in the middle of no where and you've accepted a ride and thus become stuck out in the middle of no where with them.....yeah, avoiding people with obvious Karma Kooties.BTW, yes I had Karma Kooties once, but it's so far behind me now, I forget I did.

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You don't have to hate what you do not enjoy. Life can be like ordering from a menu: Do you want drama with that? No thank you or even "Oh, wow, thank you for thinking enough of me to be including me in your universe, but I'll pass".

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Not everyone who lies to you does it because they're evil. Sometimes they do it just to survive you.

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How I have felt I was experienced by people:

they love to hate me and hate to love me.

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I could listen to a small child scream forever. They're releasing their burdens without projecting it at you. It's when they get older and start pointing fingers and making you responsible for fixing their mess that the screaming is like a grating to the ears: "I hate you, You did"...." "Sissy did that!" Makes me realize as well, there's a difference in just unloading our junk and throwing it someone. As adults, if we could just cry and scream like small children and allow one another to do that without taking it on unnecessarily, it'd a be a whole lot happier world.

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You know, I read about God's initiating a cock-waving fight with Satan; "Look at MY servant Job....." and I have no doubt that men were made in the image of God.......lol

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Something I released by expressing:

Something I hate:

When people don't feel like doing the work of being a parent and instead of just admitting it to themselves, thus being honest with the rest of us, they make up this delight in activities designed to pass the responsibility along to others under the guise of being good for the children and/or exciting for the children. (btw, they do that job because they don't believe you're a good parent, either) 

The reason why I hate it? They are so determined to hold onto those lies as truth to soothe their consciences that they then accuse those of us who love interacting with our children all day of being neglectful, irresponsible, not wanting to do the best for their children, depriving our children of opportunities at a "better life", depriving them of "proper socialization", etc.

(enter sarcasm and rolling of the eyes)Yeah, those overtired, overexcited, whiney, fitful zombies are sooooooo much better companions for other children, have totally integrated all that information they've been bombarded with and will grow up to be such wonderful citizens (just like their parents who had been raised the same way and have thus destroyed the world and cannot do anything but parrot what they read on Facebook).

Second reason: they justify oppressive laws and those who believe they are needed because parents aren't fit.

So, I listen and laugh to myself as they tell and reinforce oneanother's lies consoling their insecurities, "tickling" one another's ears.

PUKE! 

DANCING UNTIL THAT DAY......

ok, I feel better.

Oh, and I don't expect anyone to agree with me. After all, those who would, aren't online so much, they're off LIVING with their children whereas I am choosing to be the glowing example of stability according to the world's definition. arggggggg

Feeling naked yet? heehee

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Neighbor noticed flag on ground. The flag so easily blown down does not represent what myself and my neighbors are or hold sacred. We are not so easily cast down, we are not so flimsy. I would not desecrate it simply because it means so much to my neighbors, crushing it is crushing a bruised reed/my neighbor. But I do not pledge my allegience to a piece of fabric that rots quicker than I do. It will not stop a bullet or disarm a bomb. We do not live in a republic, we live in a democracy ruled by an ignorant and misled population. It is not completely "under God" for few subject themselves and our laws to God and His standards. Shoot, even those who "defend" it in the military do not even believe in God. To say it is indivisible is to tell a lie: divided into states, counties, town, territories, UN owned land and national monuments, sections now owned by China and other countries in payment of debt....liberty:true freedom of the mind, soul and spirit is oppressed rather than nourished. Justice? Our "country" does not dispense justice. If we are blessed, anything can be used while we are living as Americans to dispense justice, be a tool of "God" but as a rule judges are not interested in justice, only in sticking to the letter of the law as they see fit. 

So, maybe I stand corrected. Maybe that flimsy piece of fabric does adequately represent the country I was born a part of. There is still too much love in my heart to desecrate it, provoking my neighbors and fellow Americans.

And then I got to thinking: Does not the maker of a thing make it's creation sacred? We can only embue/endow upon something that which we posses. Nothing can be more sacred than it's maker. And btw, those flags are probably mostly made in China or Tawain and thus not embued with a sacred appreciation for we Americans. So, we are most likely pledging allegience to something embued with resentment for us rather than holiness for us. 

Not the consort of a King

"I am not the consort of King, but a Queen in her own right".

Vision of being awoken by a stately woman who tells me that as I am a distant cousin, I am to be the wife of one of two brothers. I sense. I have it made known to me that one cares nothing for his inheritence while the other takes it very seriously.

Vision of being stood up in a crowd seated in something like a stadium. "Who will take this woman?" Laughter and derisive speech from younger men. A tall black man silences them with sarcasm. Next I am in a grand dining hall before a royally set table, candelabras on it. To the right of a man who sits alone at it's head a man stands and approaches me, taking me by the elbow. I withdraw and then apologize for I have been mistreated by men. We walk out onto a balcony.

Vision of a series of events and at the end I am embracing a man seated to the right of the man at the head of the table upon whose lap my son is sitting.

Vision of the sky opening up and the expanse of The Dance appearing before me "Are  you ready for your wedding?"

Given sovereignty, But what am I to do with it? There is nothing new to create, nothing I would do differently. I give it back ('lay my crown down at His feet') and intend to subject myself.

It had come to the end of story of the Prince and Princess. There is no answer. Is that rejection?
( http://crystalmorningstar.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-prince-and-princess-inspired-story.html )

So why have I not been married yet?
A greater destiny has been awaiting me.
I have been made a Queen in my own right.
Oh.
Thinking that is kinda scary.

Updated version of The Dance

In the beginning was The Dance. It was all feeling and flowing, desiring, flowing into that desire, feeling the fulfillment of that desire, giving birth to new desire, flowing into and with that desire........within that Dance was born the desire to Observe the Dance (What do I look like?). Bang! Being! Nothing being outside of The Dance, endless and limitless in it's flow, space had to be created within the dance from which Observation could occur. And so The Critical Eye came forth into that which was Created for the Dance and the purpose of Observation of The Dance. And so The Dance and the Critical Eyes of The Dance (The Eye of Observation-God, and The Eye of The Dance Within Creation-The Flow/Goddess) began their Dance with Creation.....Each-Other. So it is that we are here to observe and be observed, to discern, critique, and dance with those perceptions in which we exist and are presented. Thus it is our nature to desire and flow toward those desires, judging and reacting, resisting and acting, never ending but always changing within the boundaries of that which we always were.