What life is showing me about me: another aspect is leaving. Woke from a dream that was flashing between two scenes. One scene I was sitting next to someone disabled who was being tended to. In the other, I was sitting down to a gathering dinner in my honor. I stood up wondering if my sitting still while the person was being tended was uncomfortable to the one doing the tending, flashed to table where I was handed a surprise gift I an envelope address side down.
Knock at door ended it before I could open the envelope.
As I was reflecting on how I've sat still comfortable with myself and so not uncomfortable with what others were going through and getting yelled at for "not realizing the obvious", which in their mind would have been that I should make myself absent; I smelled the unsure aspect that had grown from those types of incidents. I used to feel stupid about how to behave around other people. When I "smell" an aspect, I know it's leaving me, no longer a part of me.
It didn't even register until now that yesterday when I went to the store and had to put everything back because it was the wrong date and the money wasn't on my card yet; I didn't feel that dreaded sense if lack and wrong and shame. Easy peasy, get it tomorrow.
That aspect was so deeply a part of me and made me "nonthreatening". It made me "lovable". It cared. It was "empathetic". No. It was dependent upon others to determine comfort zones. It was not true empathy; because in that dream scape, the disabled person (as I had determined via true empathy) was comfortable with my presence, void of embarrassment. It was the caregiver/person of authority that was embarrassed of the disabled and so judging me as indiscreet. Discretion IS showing comfort with; not drawing attention to by making it such an issue that someone needs to leave the room. Just ended reply to a "correction" on a thread that had already been addressed in previous replies with "back off bitch". Woa. Empowered new me is quick witted.
Saturday, February 8, 2020
Daughter chooses to be unbroken and realizes it
Daughter comes home from school and drops the bomb; she's ready to up her school time to half a day and she really likes her teacher. Woa.
Then, choked up she conveys to me how a lady came in and asked her to count from 2 to 10. Again. My daughter refused. My daughter was mad about it. I told her it was OK; she's going to school to be true to herself and learn how other people think. Sometimes knowing how the other half thinks is helpful.
10 minutes later she stands up and walks over to the couch as she states; "I have not been broken".
Woa.
Then, choked up she conveys to me how a lady came in and asked her to count from 2 to 10. Again. My daughter refused. My daughter was mad about it. I told her it was OK; she's going to school to be true to herself and learn how other people think. Sometimes knowing how the other half thinks is helpful.
10 minutes later she stands up and walks over to the couch as she states; "I have not been broken".
Woa.
poetry from 2017
Touch the deep green moss,
You tickle my hair.
Slide your hand beneath the fallen leaves
To clutch the rich, dark, moist Earth beneath.....
I am the dark, moist depths
You long to plunge into deeply
To release and find relief in,
I am the Earth.-
*Stacey B. aka Crystal Morningstar aka "April" aka "Mon Chay"
You tickle my hair.
Slide your hand beneath the fallen leaves
To clutch the rich, dark, moist Earth beneath.....
I am the dark, moist depths
You long to plunge into deeply
To release and find relief in,
I am the Earth.-
*Stacey B. aka Crystal Morningstar aka "April" aka "Mon Chay"
a waking up process
My waking up process this morning:
I am aware that I was dancing with thoughts and wonderings on my head when "Now!", my left eye pinched the opened synchronized with my alarm going off.
"That's why witchcraft is called the left hand path, I guess". I had always wondered how it was that I never failed to wake within the half hour before an alarm went off, even if I hadn't used one in years. I also had the uncanny ability to wake and get my morning routine done just before someone "unexpectedly" showed up.
"Good mornin' America, how are ya?" Willie Nelson's song popped into my head.
One smooth day ahead.
I am aware that I was dancing with thoughts and wonderings on my head when "Now!", my left eye pinched the opened synchronized with my alarm going off.
"That's why witchcraft is called the left hand path, I guess". I had always wondered how it was that I never failed to wake within the half hour before an alarm went off, even if I hadn't used one in years. I also had the uncanny ability to wake and get my morning routine done just before someone "unexpectedly" showed up.
"Good mornin' America, how are ya?" Willie Nelson's song popped into my head.
One smooth day ahead.
Birthing Spirits
SO looking forward to having a laptop again. The maiden and mother bringing stuff to crone and receiving her clarity is best recorded to my blog which is not effectively accomplished on a phone. Tonight's reflecting is a long road that starts with Adam and Eve not being created human as we understand these things in mainstream. Their physical existence in 3D only began when they were wrapped I animal skin/flesh. Before that they were purely spirit of Earth's dust/dark matter (Golden Compass series)/spirit fertilized by the Elohim. That flesh has it's own consciousness is born to light by Jesus' crying out "why have you forsaken me?!" when the spirit of God left just before the flesh died. His Resurrection bears out the quickening which king David cried out for I so many of his songs recorded in the book of Psalms: the consciousness of the flesh being given spirit life beyond the body and mind, thus eternal life. It also explains "the lost children of Israel" Jesus searched for first; his spirit brothers and sisters that got lost in their human bodies and the quickened body consciousnesses which hadn't the knowledge of the nature of their existence. This leads to the spiritless souls and soulless spirits, hauntings, possessions, all of which could be the result of a combination of any of the above. If we can imagine it, it probably exists. That led to my children; bone of my bone, blood of my blood, flesh of my flesh. I can liberate and quicken them. So I did. My Kingdom is my flesh. All of it. Every generation that follows me.
This all also brings resolution to when I cried out "why are you leaving me?" and rant that I was left with the mess the spirits had made of the life I had lived. The reputation, the records, the losses....how the hell was I supposed to make it from there?! I wasn't left abandoned completely. The quickening gave me the means, power, freedom and authority to make it anything I wanted. My body spirit was endowed with the qualities and abilities of those in all levels of heaven back to the first birthing. I just didn't understand or appreciate it or what that meant until now.
All soul contracts are null and void; they weren't made with my fully informed consent. Thanks to my Yahavaha father in heaven for my quickening. That being said, I am my mother's daughter. I claim my inheritance. Gonna be busy when my body sleeps!
Like Grandmother Lava; it just is.
This all also brings resolution to when I cried out "why are you leaving me?" and rant that I was left with the mess the spirits had made of the life I had lived. The reputation, the records, the losses....how the hell was I supposed to make it from there?! I wasn't left abandoned completely. The quickening gave me the means, power, freedom and authority to make it anything I wanted. My body spirit was endowed with the qualities and abilities of those in all levels of heaven back to the first birthing. I just didn't understand or appreciate it or what that meant until now.
All soul contracts are null and void; they weren't made with my fully informed consent. Thanks to my Yahavaha father in heaven for my quickening. That being said, I am my mother's daughter. I claim my inheritance. Gonna be busy when my body sleeps!
Like Grandmother Lava; it just is.
A new perspective of living with security cameras
I've been living with security cameras outside my front door. Yesterday I was "gently reminded" they ARE viewed when told why someone moved out. I was counting on it for what I intend to do. The ominous tone didn't intimidate me. In the absence of intimidation, I got to realizing something. Yes, they are primarily used to look out for reasons to kick people out (or nicely ask them to leave IMMEDIATELY). However, it led me to realise that whoever is taking turns doing the tedious job of reviewing all that footage is seeing me at my worst, best, and everything in between, loving and supporting me anyways. 2am when I snuck past sleeping children out of the camper to shower because I had broken out in hives from head to toe, even the gentlest fabric excrutiatingly painful against my skin; they saw me. Go out "for a smoke" so my children don't see or hear my crying. "Out for a smoke" hair untended, jammies, tripping over myself because I don't really want to open my eyes fully until it's to sky, grass, trees, birds, and bunnies. Tugged out the door clumsily by dog on leash, lugging groceries, with children reluctant or excited coming or going, watching me watch my children; it's all there. Metaphorically speaking, that's more than "dinner, drinks, movie, and roll in the hay"; that's marriage material 😆
Then it strikes my little brain; would they ever let me see, love and support them that way? (Or anyone for that matter). Before the morning prayers or meditations, hair and clothes straightening, putting on of game faces, plum tired, hurting, steadfast in the face of brutality, insanely happy; would they be seen and loved anyway?
Then it strikes my little brain; would they ever let me see, love and support them that way? (Or anyone for that matter). Before the morning prayers or meditations, hair and clothes straightening, putting on of game faces, plum tired, hurting, steadfast in the face of brutality, insanely happy; would they be seen and loved anyway?
Crone clarity applied to women's cycles & everyone else's as well
Neighbor told me that if she gets around an alpha female, her menstrual cycle will align with that of the alpha. It's not news that women living in close proximity will have synced menstrual cycles. That's when "everything within is reflected without" met women's cycles in my being and came up for expression----
What if we do not cycle according to the moon? What if the dominant/alpha female draws the moon into her cycles, she is the gravity for spiritual alignment and attunement? What if the stars align with our light? What if everything we've been taught was ass backwards? Though; aligning ourselves with the physical elements would, in that case, be aligning ourselves with the alpha feminine consciously.
another friend mentioned she was about to hit 40 and was going within to do her shadow work-----
maiden, mother, crone
embodiment comes in 7 year cycles
maiden, 7x2, puberty starts to path the way to
7x3, 21, mother comes in
7x6, 42, mother paves way for
7x7, 49 crone comes in
age of menstruation is affected by hormones from animal products, younger now that artificial hormones are in food. Puberty is not reaching sexual maturity, it is the beginning of cycles earlier than motherhood embodiment to facilitate practice in balancing them before actually used. Scientific research is showing that during puberty our neuropathways are disconnecting and reforming to fit the thinking patterns that will carry us through motherhood. Our "stories" are preprogrammed in our DNA before we're even born. (They can predict not only how many children an infant girl will have but how old she'll be when she has them. And yes, we can change our DNA. Puberty is preparation to embody those stories that give us the experiences we're meant to have and establish the thinking patterns that will lead us to them. Similarly, menopause symptoms start early so we come into balance/alignment with crone energies.
came to me just before the above----
What if we do not cycle according to the moon? What if the dominant/alpha female draws the moon into her cycles, she is the gravity for spiritual alignment and attunement? What if the stars align with our light? What if everything we've been taught was ass backwards? Though; aligning ourselves with the physical elements would, in that case, be aligning ourselves with the alpha feminine consciously.
another friend mentioned she was about to hit 40 and was going within to do her shadow work-----
maiden, mother, crone
embodiment comes in 7 year cycles
maiden, 7x2, puberty starts to path the way to
7x3, 21, mother comes in
7x6, 42, mother paves way for
7x7, 49 crone comes in
age of menstruation is affected by hormones from animal products, younger now that artificial hormones are in food. Puberty is not reaching sexual maturity, it is the beginning of cycles earlier than motherhood embodiment to facilitate practice in balancing them before actually used. Scientific research is showing that during puberty our neuropathways are disconnecting and reforming to fit the thinking patterns that will carry us through motherhood. Our "stories" are preprogrammed in our DNA before we're even born. (They can predict not only how many children an infant girl will have but how old she'll be when she has them. And yes, we can change our DNA. Puberty is preparation to embody those stories that give us the experiences we're meant to have and establish the thinking patterns that will lead us to them. Similarly, menopause symptoms start early so we come into balance/alignment with crone energies.
came to me just before the above----
What the menstrual period can realistically be like for a woman:
Stage 1)
Body starts channeling increased energy.
Instead of "nope, not gonna express that", cramp. "That either", cramp. Cramp, cramp, cramp, weakness, exhaustion....ahhhh! "I'm lettin' it out you *chain of explatives and rants* (venting)"......instead a woman can become giddy, full of energy and productive, especially at nesting.
Stage 1)
Body starts channeling increased energy.
Instead of "nope, not gonna express that", cramp. "That either", cramp. Cramp, cramp, cramp, weakness, exhaustion....ahhhh! "I'm lettin' it out you *chain of explatives and rants* (venting)"......instead a woman can become giddy, full of energy and productive, especially at nesting.
2) bleeding starts during a deep sleep. The blood is only released when squatting to defacate or urinate. No pads, tampons, cups, etc needed. Baby wipes or flushable wipes to clean the area and done!
3) Instead of guilt, shame and depression due to the venting and associated actions; inspiration comes. She's higher 'vibe' embodying all that extra energy without resistance. She's at her creative best.
She's a goddess in all her glory.
Or in Christian terms: she's closer to the source of her bleeding (Elohim* see other posts about why Elohim is indeed used in it's plural to denote gods and goddesses*)
And yes, I did embody this before menopause, that's how I know it's realistic!
Taoist practice enables women to reduce menstruation to imperceptible levels. This preserves the female prenatal chi, extending lifespan and reproductive years.
Update: When you eat fruit as nature intended there is no need to have menstruation. Arnold Ehret explains it real good in some of his books - highly recommended books for anyone trying to get back to natural ways
3) Instead of guilt, shame and depression due to the venting and associated actions; inspiration comes. She's higher 'vibe' embodying all that extra energy without resistance. She's at her creative best.
She's a goddess in all her glory.
Or in Christian terms: she's closer to the source of her bleeding (Elohim* see other posts about why Elohim is indeed used in it's plural to denote gods and goddesses*)
And yes, I did embody this before menopause, that's how I know it's realistic!
Taoist practice enables women to reduce menstruation to imperceptible levels. This preserves the female prenatal chi, extending lifespan and reproductive years.
Update: When you eat fruit as nature intended there is no need to have menstruation. Arnold Ehret explains it real good in some of his books - highly recommended books for anyone trying to get back to natural ways
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)