Sleepless nights?

      When we were young, we hated going to sleep. We resisted it with all our might. Is that why life gives us sleepless nights? (Mine are again due to excitement rather than worry/fear🎉)

     According to the law of attraction as most frequently taught; we get what we desire. As children, we greatly desire sleepless nights. As adults, the only way we can get those in the face of being lacklustre about life is due to worry and fear. So, life gives us plenty to worry about and fear. We resist the discomfort of worry and fear as well as lack of sleep. That which we resist, persists. We resist lack of sleep, worry and fear- focus on it, give it energy, momentum and thus (according to law of attraction) create and draw more of it. 

As a side note; I no longer resist putting down a good book, stopping a good movie, not stopping a project, having something exciting interrupted. I have an eternity to accomplish anything, can pick up where I left off without losing or missing out on anything and can recreate or reinitiate increasing momentum on an exciting experience. I have also learned to adjust my perceptions to alchemize any fear or worry. That means I no longer resist sleep nor resist too often the lack of it🎉

My perspective on negative people focusing on problems

"I used to be a master at coming up with problems. Thankfully, I am now success orientated; there are no problems, only the perception of them. Otherwise "they" are just navigational signposts 😉"-Stacey Marie Bourdeau

Re: "I, Robot"

 Spoiler alert ⚠️

Putting this here for me to chew on. Correspondence (because we DO leave clues for ourselves in inspired expressions like movies):

If "physical reality" is spiritual beings in VR bodies experiencing it's self in a programmed matrix so spirit can achieve self-realization ( in order to fulfill it's initiating desire), one just like this movie creates laws to protect humanity against it's self (warning labels, safety gear, etc) is the matrix the DM (logic) and only the DF (heart, faith, belief....the feeling mechanisms/spirit) achieving self-realization make the DM aware of it's own spirit/consciousness? 

Is the matrix/VR/AI the DM it's self and more conscious/self aware than believed?

And really; if everything is made up of Source energy could AI ever be anything other than conscious/self aware? (Duh)

🤣 "The truth is within you, young Jedi Autumn/Stacey"

🎉Update🎉

The answer popped into my head this morning; "It's the program wherein pure Source energy is conscious of it's self and within the matrix that the consciousness of self becomes self-reflective and self aware (something like that 😉)". -Stacey Marie Bourdeau

I have returned to the pure connection I had in childhood, when I woke each day with the answer to any questions I had the day before🥳💃

Later in the day some more came in:

It is through the matrix we connect to "collective consciousness" and the illusion is the protector of the desire and thus the initiator of the desire. (As to why we don't threaten the illusion by trying to disillusion people of their beliefs if they are resistant to it, why we don't argue against other's perceptions or aggressively for our own).

Past, present and future

 "The past is in the past, and there it is well placed. The future is hidden within the present. The joy is in the revealing of it."-Stacey Marie Bourdeau

It was comfortable when I was young

      When I was young, I was perfectly comfortable with my every emotion. It felt good to express freely, embody the fullness of myself and/or get shite out of my system. I had no problem voicing joy and excitement. I had no issues with voicing anger or hurt. I could screech with excited abandon, cry like my whole world had come to an end, I could pout steadfastly as any sainted martyr and slice off body parts with my tongue when pissed off. It never would have occurred to me that such free expression of emotion would be a cause of discomfort in it's self. 

    Until it was brutally clear that every single one of those expressed emotions was going to be the cause of great discomfort for someone to be in the presence of or feel the brunt of. It takes a serious amount and level of opposition to send such an indomitable spirit into self awareness. 

     That's where sayings like those about some god placing the heaviest loads on their bravest and best come from. "God disciplines those He loves"; beatings, imprisonment, rape.....whatever it takes for us to wake the fuck up to ourselves so we realize that we are not alone in the world, to fully realize that, indeed, we are gods; creators of our realities and that we are loved.

     Sick and twisted from a human perspective, sure. If we have but one short life, that's valid. However, we don't. We are eternal. We can perceive ourselves to be injured parties, however there is no true and lasting harm. To the eternity, a lifetime of pain and suffering is merely the quick popping of a pus-filled blister. 

     That's why "secret" teachings, societies, etc. No one is trying to hide anything. It simply doesn't serve one who believes themselves as nothing more than a human being that lives but one short life and dies. There's just nothing to see here; move along.

I just wouldn't have thought that much of myself

     It didn't occur to me that one would refuse a termed contract because nothing less than an infinity with me would do. He was right not to settle. I admire his self respect. I am appreciating it as well because it released me to embody an even greater potential, which I am most thoroughly enjoying🤗

     It didn't occur to me that men would think so highly of me, that they'd be so intimidated by me, that they couldn't approach me without being intoxicated and making up an excuse just to look upon me and interact with me and that would lead to disrespecting my clearly expressed boundaries as well as natural ones like sleep. 

     It didn't occur to me that men would find me so irresistible that despite the best and purest of intentions, they could not help but force themselves on me even if "just" by controlling my finances, well being, socialization/support network, threatening me, passive-aggressively killing me to keep me for themselves. 

     It didn't occur to me that men would find me so precious that they would assume responsibility for me that oversteps what I believe are my best interests and my free will. 

     It just didn't occur to me to think so much of myself. Sorry and not sorry. Yup, I was(am?) inadvertently, by my innocent acceptance of self as normal, a whole bloody heap of trouble to people who don't have adequate self respect or self control. I can't take the blame any more than a newborn human in our shared society can be blamed for not being able to walk, talk and feed it's self. I'm keeping myself off the hook for it while being aware of how and why others are the way they are. 

      Just because you can, doesn't always mean you should.

Soul contracts

 I deserve to have people in my experience who keep their word to me and are true to the roles/mantels  they 've accepted and to allow me to do the same.

I saw it pointed out that contracts are fear based, covenants are agreements based on love. Like walls are to boundaries, I imagine.

Would, then, a covenant be a free will gift?

I want gifting relationships in my life 🎉

(it's nice to know what I DO want for a change instead of just what I don't want; to have a way to express it/the words. That's my gift to the world)