Yet another new beginning! Just keep on growing and shedding........

 So much has transpired since I last posted here. From the most ultimate feeling of freedom to the worst devastation yet. Like a phoenix rising, right? We shall see what I am inspired to share.......

woa, crazy hotel

      So, despite a governor's shelter-in-place order and a social responsibility brag, the hotel is bidding us adieu. This, after an employee talked about how they just kill and bury black people who come here. Survivor island, for sure!
     I'm giving myself permission to bitch, to say something is not right.
Got to dance and make out with a guy last night-yummy!

Calling in the money and letting the guard down

      Of course, I could only do it in *certain* energy. I'm picky. Letting the guard down as I begin to feel the vibe of big money paired with unconditional generosity. "We can make it happen, easy", is the vibe I'm channeling in with.
     I also realize that 'closed' circles of money are a natural development. I had seen how landlords donate to organizations that pay security deposits only to get it back when they manufacture a reason to evict the new tenants with tax cuts. I just learned hotels donate to organizations who pay for hotel rooms for homeless, thus returning their own money to them with tax cuts. Christian circles donate to church who donate to homeless who show gratitude by joining churches and donating time and money.....tax free. New agers aren't any different as one pays for a seminar and then the one doing seminars buys the stones and tarot decks from their clients. They also register as religious institutions and money moves tax free.
   "Corruption" is just what one circle accuses the other of when they want the money traveling in the other one or they don't like what the money is going toward.
     I am resonating with a home. There are two stories and a cast iron railing around spiral stairs.
     I am sensing that while I am behind isolation (for consciousness reasons), there is no hiding from this virus. A wild animal carrying it is going to breath in the space of even the most remote people.
     FB and Twitter have seriously quieted, though. people ARE going in and appreciating the isolation. They're in their own spaces, able to own them completely (unless they have children, but still, it narrows the circle). The inner circles are becoming the only consistent, familiar spaces. If those spaces are half way decent, they won't be in a hurry to leave them.

A study of the word; 'ma'am'

  "Yes, ma'am"
   It's a southern thang.
   The first time I had ever been addressed as "ma'am" was when I was 19 years old and the roadies from the band "Alabama" were ordering meals from me at the restaurant I was working at. "Don't call me that",; I said, "It makes e feel old". "Oh, no; it's how we show respect"; the roadie answered.
     In northern Florida, I had heard it used by children as a "Yes, mommy dearest. Please don't hit me". I had heard it from a grocery store bagger who did not like me telling him not to put canned goods on top of my eggs in a bag.
     Here, in Louisiana, however; it is used at the end of nearly every sentence and sometimes is the sentence it's self. "Ma'am?" They didn't understand what I said.
    "Yes, ma'am"; you're interacting outside your class, a reminder from hotel employees.
      In a conversation I overheard taking place on a phone, Yes, ma'am" went from "I'm listening and understand" to "Reminder: we're acting civilly here", a corrective tone. It's all kinda like Guardians of the Galaxy's "I am Groot".

Spirit of generosity

     I had gotten tastes of it recently; unconditional generosity. It came in strongly this morning, from the right of me. The result, less generosity towards others. That unconditional generosity can be fully embodied and my baseline experience, I realized. Yesterday I was full of sadness, probably to make room for this. Before it arrived, there were a whole lot past embodiments that wanted to come in. It occurred to me that I was not subject to these energies that had governed my experience in the past. Those, from the left of me, were the things I could choose from. I was reminded of the "Thank you for playing" in response to the feminine from the right hand side throwing my lottery ticket in the trash. The left responds to the right's requests. I've just been playing the boat blown about in the middle of them, feeling like I have to just simply accept what was given me; accept the punishment from the left for what the right was choosing for me. It is not so. I realized this much more fully this morning.
    Part of that was not receiving the money orders from Russ Bus today. It occurred to me that there must be a different way to get that money. The money orders were made out to me from me by me. They can't cash them. So, I turned around and went back to the post office. It'll cost $6.50 up front and 60 days to get the money back. Not good enough. Mention law suit felt correct. Their resistance to me must draw what they are resisting. Long ago I understood that we resist the Law of Attraction when we return good for bad, love for hate. Even Abraham-Hicks mentioned that in a recording I listened to this morning during all this; it's nothing about you if people elicit negative responses from you when you're flowing. I am often reminded of when my boss grabbed my butt and I slapped him before thinking about it. I suffered no negative repercussions. He was aggressive and got aggression back. What one gets from me is not necessarily the same as what is coming from within me.
   I am noticing many different responses as those previously embodied experiences threatened from the left this morning. No longer feeling insecure, deserving of it, not caring what the impression of others is. I realized that I don't care what it looks like to anyone else, I'm getting what I'm wanting. I know my own motives, the energy I'm embodying. I'm staying here for the summer. It doesn't matter what that looks like to others; charity or 'of course it makes sense'. Doesn't matter how it happens, what matters is that it does happen.
   I laid down for a nap. In it I kept closing my eyes to rest while I was driving. I knew my third eye would take over while I rested my physical eyes. I had had enough of that, however, and admonished the guy in the back who has always just been along for the ride to get up front and drive for a change; do his share. I'm not doing it by myself again. I woke hungry with that to-the-bone exhaustion again. Every fiber of my being is being stretched and transforming. Another big leap in consciousness with the body coming into alignment. Everything before this has been small steps. It has been on the thinking and feeling levels which I had not been expressing in the physical. I had kept it all isolated. Truly, that IS where it all begins. The misalignment is painful, however. I'm such a perfectionist! lol

Impending...and America is housing it's homeless!

     Last night the word came through the grapevine that they'll be stopping the ferry and isolating the island. Turns out my springtime vision was the hotel, the hotel 'dream' wasn't the domestic violence shelter idea that inspired me to allow me to see the fancy hotel for me. The men working on the island and staying at the hotel are checking out. I had a feeling that the ferry shut down was going to wait until Friday after rush hour. We got our dog back and said our good-byes-for-now.
    On the news it's being reported that America is housing it's homeless. Profound!
    It occurs to me that if it be so that one 'awakened' consciousness affects a 2,000 mile radius and one soul in alignment with their 'vortex' is more powerful than a million not; that makes this island mine,; as in my consciousness will be dominant. Woa. Life didn't just give me a nice hotel to pass the time in; it gave me an island!

Playing Armageddon and the angel of death passing over

     Today I am prompted to remember playing "Armageddon" during power outages with my oldest when we were Jehovah's Witnesses and I'm getting a strong sense of preparing for the angel of death to pass over. Just as the Jews prepared the Passover lamb and painted their doorways, we are all prepping for isolation while we await the peak of this virus to pass through.
     It occurs to me that isolating entire populations for a season is a perfect way to ease the separation of timelines: some will leave isolation back into the old paradigm they've chosen to revisit and continue another cycle in having death from a virus as a 'logical'(mind graspable) reason for those they were used to seeing regularly to be missing. Those moving forward into a world of greater compassion and gentle expression will leave isolation into a new paradigm most likely understanding why neighbors are 'missing'. I feel like a huge reset button is about to be hit and my nervous system is feeling it as old fears try to be embodied and just can't be as my peace vibes are overtaking the nervous system.