Going inward again

     The "I AM" is merging with the "There's only me". Excruciating despite lack of tension and resistance. I am feeling ambition. This physical experience has never included ambition previously. Interesting. It's just sitting there in existence with no specific target but  a general description of luxury, relationship, ease without condition..winning the lottery and romantic involvement, lol. Formless yet explicit. Passion..woooeeee. Do nothing, be everything. To create without cause. To be conscious and aware without pause. Project nothing, express it all. Just floating while firmly grounded. No making sense amidst finely honed senses. Holy shit, I'm amazing! The hardest part was realizing it's easy that I am experiencing, lol. No longer excruciating.
    So, if I am not responding with matching excitement it's because I am quiet, allowing the merging. What I shall be responding with when this is finished is yet to be determined I would imagine.

 

Soul to soul.......Hongi and Namaste, my human body

     We have come to know to take out what we bring in at campsites and nature preserves. We have come to know it is in all our best interests to not leave a footprint when we come and go about the Earth as human beings.
      I wonder if we could not do the same as souls 'just having experiences' in human form for the 'campsite' of human flesh. Could we not restore what it is we have used once our adventure has ended?
Hongi and Namaste, my human body

Today's story- Nothing Greater

     I found today's story in it's background. We began this physical existence a warrioress spirit coupled to an ancient naive pacifist soul. We have the human aspect representing mother and child of the physical, father of the spirit world, and the core of all being-The Dance. And so the dance began within this thing given the name Stacey.
     The warrioress spirit was so strong she could easily over power the pacifist when we were in the youth of our shared experience....so much so the soul would be blacked out, the warrioress would kick the ass of a man over 6 feet tall and give consciousness back when it was good and done. She was easily offended and easily provoked. Well, soul and body found this incredibly disturbing and developed powers of their own.
     The Dance, Father and Mother 'awoke' at various points within a short period and the whirlwind began. Holy shit and holy crap what a barrel of experiences this life has been! The miracles, devastation, astral travels, legends......all becoming greater and drawing from within themselves everything they had with a child in the middle demanding they all work it out and the Dance giving tips on how to make that happen.
     Today I come to the realization that in fact, there is nothing greater in the heavens than what has become of this human consciousness. And with that fact is indifference. There is enough greatness for everyone. Benevolent, all knowing, all loving, all present, all being...it simply is.
     Last night looking for something to focus on to keep me awake because my children simply were no where near ready for sleep, I went to YouTube and followed to a recommended channeling. There it was said we would recognize communications from our 5th dimensional self because it would be pretty much formless and most like outlined with silver. A moment's curiosity but moved on having become somewhat disenchanted with the spirit realms. I have been working from the core of my being, thinning the veils of heart, mind and spirit to be open channels of the core of my being, central sun, connection to source and Dance within.
     Finally went to sleep and was seeing an energetic mostly blue with crystal white core flame outlined in silver and sensing being informed "you are getting your calypticle" when my phone rang and I was brought into physical focus. The sensation of perfect peace, health and well being came into the physical form and began to feel it's self squeezed....aches began to manifest. Got at least one insight out of the experience: the ache I believe I feel in my body is actually that of my spirit. Physical form is not comfortable to my spirit. It aches within it. It is at peace with that.
   Knowing my spirit as I do, she gets excited at challenges, so when she would come back all excited, my soul and body would go "oh, no, something is coming that will challenge me today". When spirit would come back in the morning all glum, soul and body go "oh, yay! We get an easy day!". Spirit bringing back that information was indifferent, so spirit was not impressed. The closest I can come to a definition online of calypticle is a destructive event. In my case that usually means a destruction of circumstances, a dismantling, a change. What is more destructive to a warrioress spirit than allowing?..... allowing in love, abundance, ease and everything the physical would want in an experience. If it were a traumatic destruction, she'd have been elated at the challenge, the soul would have been appreciating an expansion inunderstanding, knowledge, charector, etc...but no, no elation. Something GOOD is coming! says the human.
    I did spend yesterday embodying graceful, easy, requesting and feeling, a new depth and awareness and knowing in ease, quieting the mind keeping the heart open, everything flowing honestly. I spend alot of time responding to my heart and mind with all the feelings coming through "don't touch it, let it go", we're not attaching thoughts or experiences to any of these negative feelings...keep them flowing, they're just passing through.
   I realized yesterday what I master of the Law of Attraction we have become. I can read people's energies, feel the law of attraction coming through seeking a cooperative component, recognizing I am in no way subject to it...simply aware and having the option of joining it's flow or just observing. No resistance to it, no resistance to not going with the flow. No doubt, no anxiety. It's just making it's rounds.
   Thankfully, I have been blessed with drawing and being given some absolutely fantastic spiritual awake and conscious humans. I logged on to "show me your sexy" and "feeling magnificent" and while I was still feeling the ache of embodying my spirit, I chose to move the sexy and magnificent energy. The environment aided that option with a neighbor who just bought himself the first suit he's warn in like 20 years for today's occasion, played with him being sexy. Other neighbor was out and what's more sexy than a pregnant woman? Nothing! So, played with her and sexy. I love that I can choose the options I might not feel into with all sincerity, ease and grace that exists apart from resistance.
  I wouldn't say I am 100% resistance free about absolutely everything and anything, but I'm pretty darn close as close as can be I'm imagining...know better than to go looking. And because I was on a roll of acceptance, expressing sexy, happy, socially friendly....had a liberating conversation with a neighbor who gave me a bag of shavings for our guinea pigs.
   Another enighbor from one street over showed up mowing the lawn next to mine...she shrugs and says "I just keep going!" lol. That is SOOOOO me! lol Put a mower in my hands and I just keep right on going. She was making her way around the entire neighborhood. Love it!
   Now the sun is setting and I am releasing whatever it is that exists between me and the abundance I'm getting...not attaching thoughts or memories to feelings has my mind completely empty and clueless as to why I'm crying and that is absolutely OK with me. We're not looking for and thus not creating a problem...we already know the solution is letting go and that is already happening but we're not looking for that either so we aren't creating 'something to let go of' when we already did all the clearing needed already, lol......no more thinking, seeking, analyzing, reflecting...just observing and realizing. Peacefully. Thanks for reading!

Swimming in a sea of angels

  We journeyed into remembering so we could return to forgetting with a greater awareness and appreciation of exactly what that means.

    Our body is not just "a temple", a place for us to worship and be worshiped, it is a billion and one angels (that is not an exact literal numerical representation nor even a ball park figure). These angels are in various degrees of limitation and remembering for a billion and one (again not exact literal or ball park) reasons: volunteered, requested, 'sucked in by accident', tricked, etc. They, too are worshiped and worship.

   So when I am still and quiet I can look at my own skin and know (and for those of us with extra-sensory perceptions/awareness) and, "smell" and hear those angels in a chorus, all 'worshiping' that which I call me. And in the air I breath, all those particles my eyes cannot see come dancing in upon each breath billions of angels, singing, reuniting, rejoicing with those they meet as they brush up against every one existing as a cell upon my lips, in my sinuses, in my lungs, in my blood and back out again to dance in the leaves of trees and join in the air to become water...our entire physical existence is a swimming in a sea of angels. The ringing of ears, the hearing of our names when no other person is present are those angels remembering for a moment, reminding us to remember that they are there, that they are aware in every moment of this dance we are dancing of physical experience.
  We are not just an angel we are a cooperative, we are not a mere cooperative, we are a cooperative of cooperatives with unlimited potential if we just let go of the idea that we are alone in a piece of meat we call a body in a world with no conscious recognition of what is happening. That tree you cut down is angels that agreed to be a tree, do they really agree to be a house? Did you ask them? Are you aware permission was given?
  Yes, it is all entered into with the light hardheartedness of a child at play and indeed that wants to be felt and at the same time it is entered into with the maturity and groundedness of committment and sacrifice and faithfulness with honor, respect, acknowledgement.
  And when we come across one another's perspectives, even at the "highest" levels of consciousness there IS going to be differences in the nuances of our teachings. One might get pissed and feel great chaffing at this idea of swimming in angels: rejoice in it! we have agreed to forget one another's perspective so we could experience this thing physical expression. Or we may dance in the recognition and rejoice in the common beliefs and then wander away and wonder "what did I ever see in that?"...we came close enough to share the experience, remind and remember and went on again with individual experience.
   The flesh is here so we can enjoy the 5 senses. It is not dependent upon food to eat, air to breath, etc...nothing can poison a person unless that is the level of forgetfulness we are in. The food is there to taste, for the angels in the juices of the berries can come say hello and experience communion with the cells that have agreed to be taste receptors, to commune with the angels that agreed to be cells of blood in the body. And as each cell/cooperative of angels touches there is invitation and agreements : hey! hello! we are doing this! ...oh yay! switch places with me? I'd like to be a part of that body today and such delightfully 'silly' things we can imagine.
  Even I could try to read this next week and think "dang, girl you hit big crazy with this writing" and then a year from then I might remember again. Either way, by running into one another's writings, moments of lucidity, dreams, etc we shall be reminded. Then we will forget at least partially so we can have the most authentic experiences.
 So yes, I swim in a seas of angels in an eternal womb of consciousness.

On the Cusp

     Trying to start at the beginning here..prone to jump around. Over "the past few days" I have noticed a certain detachment from the body. I was standing outside gazing at the night sky when I noticed my body was shivering mightily. I did not feel cold at my core and realized it was alot like when I was a child and went swimming...you know how it goes: lips are purple and teeth rattling insisting "but I'm not cold! Why do I have to get out?!" lol
    Today I watched a video interview of Natalie Sudman and recognized so many similarities in mannerisms, ways of expressing, experiencing, remembering. I knew exactly how that feels and of course it was delightful to be present in energies where there were no major differences....the flow is easy when it is flowing in the same way-multidimensionally.
   My son the past few days has been talking of a dream he had where I was killed and wants to sit on my lap and hold me forever "mommy I don't ever want you to go". I have felt often today a sense of something impending that will bring GREAT change to my experience. It reminded me very much of when I experienced my "quickening" and my daughter cried out "no mommy! don't leave!".
     I am dying. I am dying 'to myself' in that: in order for the human form to be maintained with the presence of a higher consciousness residing perpetually, there has to be a separation between the collaborative consciousnesses of the parts of the body (the mind cooperative, heart cooperative, intestinal cooperative, etc) so much so that the expanded consciousness interacting with the world loses awareness that the body has consciousness of it's own. The whole purpose of this exercise of "coming into expanded consciousness in human form" is so that we remember to include the awareness of the physical perspective, it's needs and desires.
    So, for me, that means to remember considerations, politeness, acknowledgement of the contribution we make to one another's experiences. There is divine consciousness experiencing extreme limitation, sacrificing it's direct connection to the heavens so that divinity can experience occupying physicality. That hair you hate? It knows you hate it, it reacts and responds to it with it's own personality and divine consciousness. It needs to be cared for and taken into consideration. The heart must forget it is a particle of the divine, limitless and formless so that it can hold it's form....we need to remember to be considerate of it: if someone is going to energetically blast it, we need to take notice and protect it. It has taken on a child-like awareness so it only remembers it's chosen form of being.
    These divine aspects, expressions, entities have agreed to do this with us immortally. That's ALOT of trust! That's ALOT of commitment!
    One does not walk up to another, begin a communication, announce themselves with a criticism: "Tell your children not to do that"..."Shouldn't you be wearing shoes?"...."Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them."
HELLO?!

1. These other divine expressions, in sacrifice to the experience, relinquish the ability to express as vividly as the consciousness occupying them. We must be that FOR them. Sorry about the print change..WTF? lol ahh O.K. back to normal.. Anyways. In all our "oneness" it serves us to be aware of this and it serves those following us. This detachment also separates us from the memories of "past experiences"; the pain, sorrow, sadness, everything emotional and feeling that went with it. So, we really have no clue exactly how powerful the impact of our presence is to those still going through it. We will not be connecting to them on the emotional level. Our experience of "the past" is an awareness of "energetically exclusive experiences", each and every moment, interaction, shared experience, is an energetically exclusive experience "bubble" that we perceive as having absolutely nothing to do with any other. So, for example, anything that happens during one interaction is perceived as completely irrelevant to another. You may have to remind me of "yesterday" as you experienced it with me because "today" is a clean slate and if you wish our interaction to be based on "yesterday", YOU must bring that with you with all due consideration to the fact I may choose NOT to. You will not be allowed to hold me to that. I choose my experience. I choose who I want to be, what I feel I am to be in any given moment. I am sovereign and I might be cooperative according your perspective or I may not be. And yes, I might need to be led through it as one would a child who is unfamiliar with the complications of organizing travel arrangements, schedules, appointments, etc.....do ya'll still schedule whole weeks ahead? months, years: it's bloody unfathomable from my position! Do not expect me to know the date.....I've been drawn to the energy of a moment, not the bloody planned arrangement and agenda you may have for it! lol Each and every moment is opportunity, experience, expansion and that each can be so unique is....AMAZING! AWESOME! AWE-INSPIRING! FANTASTIC! DELIGHTFUL!
2. We WILL still experience our own feelings. The difference is, they will be exclusive to that moment, strangers to any other moment and so not "as deep/heavy/thick/laden with memory of the last time we felt that feeling". Each feeling has a different nuance unique to each experience. For example sadness in one experience might be 'tainted' with excitement. It will carry it's own unique energetic signature or "smell" (as those of us with higher awareness are prone to call it) exclusive that one "bubble" of experience. In another "bubble"/experience that sadness might be 'tainted' with difficulty or hesitation or delight and so forth. The combinations of energetic experience are endless! INCREDIBLE!
3. I am who I was yesterday, I just not be the same as you remember me because what I can be is an endless combination of feelings, thoughts, emotions, attitude, and personality. Or I can be a completely blank slate. Let's Play!
4. Play with mercy because I notice I'm more prone to the poetic license and energetic flow than I am to sentence structure, etc. a word might feel better than the one more accurately descriptive at times, a rhyme might catch the interest and used for the sake of that alone and I noticed a preference for words of a softer vibration for the ends of sentences....I'll do my best to keep it structured though! I am quite capable......just not always interested.....

Moving beyond a "heart-based reality"

  Like the mind, the heart is just another veil of perception between the outer reality and the inner core of our experience. It is there in our "central sun" everything begins and ends. We move from thought beyond feeling through the realm of raw emotion and find the honest response from our source. Our goal is not to get the heart pumping but to get the fires burning to expose the crystal clarity that is the originating spark.

Moving beyond the I AM experience

      Someone noted the other day how, where in conversation he used verbs and nouns, I used adjectives. Hmmmm I felt about for a moment and responded "why, yes that is true". In every moment I have developed the habit of observing what pleases and describing feeling it brings up within me to reflect back to it and simply appreciating the sense of the adjective.
    For example: I see something pretty. I love "pretty". I enjoy the feeling of loving "pretty".  I say or more likely, sing "pretty". I may twirl about feeling "pretty". I see something I could describe as powerful. "Wow, powerful! I like powerful" I pump my arms in the gesture of feeling powerful and I sink into enjoying loving "powerful".
    It is alot like taking a sip of something and allowing it to roll around over the tongue for a while, tasting the various spices involved, the temperature, enjoying the scent wafting up into the nostrils, feeling for affects on the body and then swallow. Appreciate the moment that just occurred, appreciate it's effects and do it all over again. Every experience is a body full-"mouth full"- of swirling energies/sensations.
  I never say to myself "I am angry". The word "Anger" enters my mind, let's find a better feeling. I like "happy". I feel happy and sense happy in me and look again at what triggered anger. I see it clearly. I say to myself "clear", I like the feeling of being clear on something. Suddenly there is a solution in my mind. My actions, if action is appropriate, are precise, simple, direct, effective and I no longer feel anger within me when focusing on that which previously triggered anger. I sense and acknowledge clear, ease, simple. I enjoy appreciating those things. Adjectives are my nouns. They are also my verbs because I did not experience "making coffee" this morning. There was bitter and sweet in my morning. There was smooth where I pushed the start button. It was quick and easy. The things I needed to accomplish that activity were abundant, freely available. I remind my mind to think "free", "abundant", "happy". That summons feelings.
   My life is sensing, feeling, perceiving experiences of adjectives. It feels simple. It is simple-minded. In a world of adjectives, experience is all there is. "I AM" is no longer present in my experience. It is not about a "me" and an "it", "he" or "she". It is about the adjectives present. There is no need to posses/own material things because it's all about the adjectives I use to describe them and embody. And in that experience, "there is only me" because somehow it's all about everything else. I don't get it and that is OK with me. It does not need to "make sense" because it is peaceful, delightful, fluid, flowing, serene, powerful.............and someone somewhere out there knows what it means. That is good enough for me!
   Along with the adjective living is love for only me. I can love another, but I could never love them as much as I love me. Another can love me, but they will never be able to love me as much as I love me. For me, there is only me. I experience and exist in the sense/feeling of "my one and only", the adjective.
 And no, I don't know what that means either, lol. Nothing needs imply anything, nothing needs explaining, nothing needs defining, nothing needs meaning they are all nuances/shades of the same thing.