Driving from Ohio to Montana and back again unlicensed, speeding and child jum[ping around unbuckled......guy who was riding asked how I did not see state troupers every few miles and how did they not see me and when we returned the rental van the guy who wrote down the mileage and gas usage asked how it was possible we used so little gas.
Back and forth across the country several times in camper with no title,license or registration, no money with two small children. Cops would be directly behind us at stop lights and never even look to notice the expired temporary registration Once ran out of gas and went to the police station and knowing we were unregistered, etc he paid for our gas to get us out of town. Flying sign on street corner for first time, wouldn't you know I would get on that corner after several others just when an officer with a particular grudge against beggars shows up and insists on giving me ticket, so I signed it "under duress" and he had no idea what my name was because I had no I.D. As we would pass through state check points, etc out west like California border, etc, the border patrols would just happen to be looking the other way while waving us through. Staying in state and federal parks, etc they'd come to investigate everyone for weed and well, I don't smoke it so not even noticing our illegal vehicle and lack of I.D. they'd leave.
The funniest one was a truck load of us heading to northern New Hampshire to check out a tree truck a couple of the guys wanted to buy. We stopped to see if we were in the right place only to be told we went too far and were in Canada...uh how'd we get across the border?
I was hospitalized and then had to stay in a nursing home for 6 months before and after a 5 hour surgery. With no family to take my two youngest in, they went into foster care. By some miracle they not only ended up in a home where the mother did not immunize her own children, but the state never pushed too hard to immunize mine despite having put them in public schools.
There was always a $100 given by a complete stranger when we needed gas money, food unrequested when hungry, etc.
I spent more than 10 years with no I.D. of any kind far away from family and friends and the universe delivered constantly. It was not always by means agreeable with me, but I got over much of it, letting go judgement about receiving and overcoming "implied" strings, conditions, 'contracts'.
Two more things come to mind: we are not here to introduce 'limitations,' 'boundaries', map out the hows, about creation, we have already exceeded them. We are here to live beyond them.
Number two: many of us have lived life 'outside the system' with hardship, feeling homeless, unwelcome, outsiders, etc. We have been moved back into the system and been rewarded when we 'follow the rules'/become 'good citizens'. That is NOT the intention of that period of our lives: to become 'cooperative components within the system'. The goal was the feeling of 'I am legal', 'I am welcome', 'I belong', 'I am accepted', 'I am loved', 'my needs are always met'...most of all 'I am legitimate'. So now we know that feeling in this body. We can summon that feeling in any given moment, radiate it constantly without thinking of it and THEN hardship comes again, plans of working within the system appear to fail, no matter what rules we follow, we loose our circumstance's security. That means it's time to go out again but this time in this new-to-this-body energy of belonging, legitimacy, watched over, blessed, grace-given being.
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Monday, October 19, 2015
Energetic rundown on the world politics
I'm only going to do this once because I don't want to mess with any aspect of it except my role, which we'll get to at the end of this.
I've spent alot of time on the topic of domestic violence, the nature of it, etc. and well, that led me straight to the top for it is evident in all aspects of our world. Comes down to this: when one asks for help and you respond with yes, you make yourself a victim. The abusers are victims. The people with sick amounts of power and influence are victims of the masses by taking control of everything and making the people dependent upon them. Secretly, they've all got death wishes.
So, we have super dark people in power coming out in the open, flaunting it, begging for somebody, anybody to do something.
We have a whole generation of indigo's in the prime of youth and passion and vigor and purpose...if one glimpses outside of the love and light circles you will see today's youth all have a street thug mentality. They're warriors and they're ready.
In between there we have the baby boomers, post war generation when the world was still full of the potential for material gain. They are the love and lighters with a higher consciousness but they chose to be subject to their parent's "tough shit you got to work for it" mentality because they had something to gain: the American dream, political office for change, etc.
The difference between the baby boomers and indigo's is that the indigo's have nothing to loose. They have nothing left to save: the planet is bankrupt, there is no wealth to gain, no political power to get into because it is all corrupt as well.
Outburst is inevitable.
Then there are the keepers of the vision for the future,we hold the vision for peace and freedom and sovereignty for all of humanity. We hold that vision for the indigo's who know the bringing in of that vision is their purpose. So, we hold it for them and following generations. We are the healers who will help them when it comes time to release the inner street thug to join us in that greater vision.
Power must bait the indigo, the indigo must be the street thug, the baby boomers must give up, and the dreamers must maintain the dreams and the ability to dream.
I've spent alot of time on the topic of domestic violence, the nature of it, etc. and well, that led me straight to the top for it is evident in all aspects of our world. Comes down to this: when one asks for help and you respond with yes, you make yourself a victim. The abusers are victims. The people with sick amounts of power and influence are victims of the masses by taking control of everything and making the people dependent upon them. Secretly, they've all got death wishes.
So, we have super dark people in power coming out in the open, flaunting it, begging for somebody, anybody to do something.
We have a whole generation of indigo's in the prime of youth and passion and vigor and purpose...if one glimpses outside of the love and light circles you will see today's youth all have a street thug mentality. They're warriors and they're ready.
In between there we have the baby boomers, post war generation when the world was still full of the potential for material gain. They are the love and lighters with a higher consciousness but they chose to be subject to their parent's "tough shit you got to work for it" mentality because they had something to gain: the American dream, political office for change, etc.
The difference between the baby boomers and indigo's is that the indigo's have nothing to loose. They have nothing left to save: the planet is bankrupt, there is no wealth to gain, no political power to get into because it is all corrupt as well.
Outburst is inevitable.
Then there are the keepers of the vision for the future,we hold the vision for peace and freedom and sovereignty for all of humanity. We hold that vision for the indigo's who know the bringing in of that vision is their purpose. So, we hold it for them and following generations. We are the healers who will help them when it comes time to release the inner street thug to join us in that greater vision.
Power must bait the indigo, the indigo must be the street thug, the baby boomers must give up, and the dreamers must maintain the dreams and the ability to dream.
Saturday, October 17, 2015
Fear is nothing but forbidden love
I got to thinking about how when I first woke fully I was met by someone with a dire warning from their own experience "you better slow down or you'll burn yourself out". Out of respect for the existence of that fear in another, I shut myself back down and awakened more slowly, step by step, aspect by aspect. It has become a painfully slow process at some points until I was given to realize we have all the time in the world...we are, after all, immortal..........and now it is all coming rushing in but again, one aspect by one aspect......and it is DELICIOUS. When I first awoke one could have said that I was decadent or brave or anything and I would have just taken their word for it because I would not have known what that meant. One could have asked me if I was decadent and I would have replied with "I don't know". Now I DO know. So, respecting that fear in loving innocence that put me back to sleep was a wondrous gift to me. In slow motion I have been given to observe and analyze every aspect coming in and every aspect "leaving", to commune with each exclusively with undivided attention, thus loving every aspect of every nuance of every energy making up that which is and always has been love.
Even our 'weaknesses', our fears lend strength to our presence in the experiences of others. For if we are fully awakened and floating about higher than all others, we are not on their radar. We are birds flying above clouds over the heads of those looking down at the ground. So our 'dysfunctions' are loving ties to the ground that they trip over and thus notice and then follow the rope up to see it goes through the clouds and wonder what is tethered up there? and their wonder opens the clouds, the end of tether forcing the imagining of an image that entices and inspires and once that happens, we no longer need the tether tying us to their experience and bringing their attention upwards then trying to strike up their imagination. But none of it is intentional, it simply happens, the natural response to fear-based/'forbidden to love' love. And now that is known, I can see that what was given to be 'dire warning' to prevent that which I was doing was an expression of one LOVING what I was doing. And I can LOVE what I was doing all the more.
For whatever reason we have been given to perceive many things as "forbidden to love". We perceive ourselves forbidden to love certain levels of heat, we call it "getting burnt" and so we fear intense sensations. We perceive unbridled, uncontrolled leads only to imbalance and so we forbid it in ourselves, in our experiences, our physical activities and even what we are forbidden to love: that feeling of potential unknown consequences, the love of fear it's self. Sometimes "forbidden" makes something more exciting, not because it will shake up anyone or anything but because we like the feeling of "bang" and so we fear resistance in one area, we fear lack of resistance in another when all any of it really is, is
LOVE.
All we need is the perception of unlimited permission to experience unlimited love of all feelings and sensations of energetic experience.
Even our 'weaknesses', our fears lend strength to our presence in the experiences of others. For if we are fully awakened and floating about higher than all others, we are not on their radar. We are birds flying above clouds over the heads of those looking down at the ground. So our 'dysfunctions' are loving ties to the ground that they trip over and thus notice and then follow the rope up to see it goes through the clouds and wonder what is tethered up there? and their wonder opens the clouds, the end of tether forcing the imagining of an image that entices and inspires and once that happens, we no longer need the tether tying us to their experience and bringing their attention upwards then trying to strike up their imagination. But none of it is intentional, it simply happens, the natural response to fear-based/'forbidden to love' love. And now that is known, I can see that what was given to be 'dire warning' to prevent that which I was doing was an expression of one LOVING what I was doing. And I can LOVE what I was doing all the more.
For whatever reason we have been given to perceive many things as "forbidden to love". We perceive ourselves forbidden to love certain levels of heat, we call it "getting burnt" and so we fear intense sensations. We perceive unbridled, uncontrolled leads only to imbalance and so we forbid it in ourselves, in our experiences, our physical activities and even what we are forbidden to love: that feeling of potential unknown consequences, the love of fear it's self. Sometimes "forbidden" makes something more exciting, not because it will shake up anyone or anything but because we like the feeling of "bang" and so we fear resistance in one area, we fear lack of resistance in another when all any of it really is, is
LOVE.
All we need is the perception of unlimited permission to experience unlimited love of all feelings and sensations of energetic experience.
Energetic flavor of the day:DECADENT
I woke from a dream in which I was interacting delightedly with a man of the most innocent nature. I woke with/bearing the name as/like "Lolita".
I woke feeling like decadence tastes.
It is as if the sweetest most innocent of children just took her first bite of the most decadently rich chocolate treat and is carried off in full-body consuming upliftment.
This energy is short-circuiting my nervous system with it's deliciousness, as my nervous system is reawakened and reconfigured to accommodate it.
And I luxuriate in it, the "taste" and "smell" of decadence.........
Decadent daydreams
I woke feeling like decadence tastes.
It is as if the sweetest most innocent of children just took her first bite of the most decadently rich chocolate treat and is carried off in full-body consuming upliftment.
This energy is short-circuiting my nervous system with it's deliciousness, as my nervous system is reawakened and reconfigured to accommodate it.
And I luxuriate in it, the "taste" and "smell" of decadence.........
Friday, October 16, 2015
Ecstasy, ecStacey
Once we have life, death is a luxury.............
"What do you think" came the question.
"Fine by me" came my answer.
"NO!" screamed the elite, "they MUST repress their emotions and go to work!".
"I did not ask for your opinion" says me.
And then it comes in as I agree "You feel free to repress until your heart ceases to live, more room on Earth for those of us who choose to LIVE".
With ease and graceful whisper, the silence that inspires fear. comes like a breeze and warm breath brushing the skin. The feeling of the satiated vampire drawing in, the ecstasy of the orgasmed woman inviting her lover back in for the pure luxury that exists in it.
Do you see me as my eyes roll back in my head, my mouth yawns open as I draw in the deepest breath, as I arch my back and play with my wet, oozing sex? That is my response to the idea of your death, oh stubbornly repressed stupidly hateful human. I would have sex with your death, I would drink it in with a heart full of pure clear, divine love which you reject. Hear my whispered screams of ecstasy riding the warmth of my breath in your ear: "YES. YES. YES!"
Now begins the haunting. Now begins the plague. Now begins the death.
"What do you think" came the question.
"Fine by me" came my answer.
"NO!" screamed the elite, "they MUST repress their emotions and go to work!".
"I did not ask for your opinion" says me.
And then it comes in as I agree "You feel free to repress until your heart ceases to live, more room on Earth for those of us who choose to LIVE".
With ease and graceful whisper, the silence that inspires fear. comes like a breeze and warm breath brushing the skin. The feeling of the satiated vampire drawing in, the ecstasy of the orgasmed woman inviting her lover back in for the pure luxury that exists in it.
Do you see me as my eyes roll back in my head, my mouth yawns open as I draw in the deepest breath, as I arch my back and play with my wet, oozing sex? That is my response to the idea of your death, oh stubbornly repressed stupidly hateful human. I would have sex with your death, I would drink it in with a heart full of pure clear, divine love which you reject. Hear my whispered screams of ecstasy riding the warmth of my breath in your ear: "YES. YES. YES!"
Now begins the haunting. Now begins the plague. Now begins the death.
Whose hat is that?
In preparation for winter I went through my children's closets to see what could be used this year and what no longer fit. I gathered all the winter hats and mittens in a bag and set them by the door where they'd be easily accessed. My son wandered over a few days later and started going through it, trying on all the hats. He pulled out a hat and asked me "Whose hat is this one?". "Whoever's head is cold", I responded.
In developed countries, even amongst the most "enlightened"....... people can't even imagine a life without money, without everything being a commodity, without permanant sole ownership. The closest they come is believing the answer is a system of barter and trade. So, the veggies become the money and the system begins again, determining a value of number of these veggies compared to those veggies and that hat. They think it will rid us of overlords....ummmm, history teaches us they'll take those veggies as tax payments and if you have no veggies to turn over, they'll take your children.
The "enlightened" souls want crowds of clueless people to preach to, life coaches want people experiencing helplessness to coach. They ALL want money to live lives of luxury. They do not REALLY want to see the present system fail. They'd like to tweak it a bit so it is more comfortable for them, but they still envision and dream dreams of becoming big corporations, being on the covers of magazines, to be the "success" stories.
We can imagine knitted hats as free to whomever needs them because we all have too many anyways. Grandmas are always knitting them, sisters, neighbors, cousins. Hats and mittens for everyone and anyone willing to take them. With those, it is easy to know it belongs to whomever has need of it. But that housing? That land? That wool? Those veggies?
The wool belongs to whomever knits. Whatever is knitted belongs to the one who needs something to wear. The land belongs to the one who can cultivate it. What is cultivated belongs to the one who is hungry. The house belongs to whomever needs a roof over their head. Simple, really. If the world can cough up millions of people in need of life coaching to fulfill your dreams of being a life coach, do you not believe it can muster up a builder for your home? A weaver for the fabric and seamstress for your clothes? Aren't women renowned for "social networking"; knowing who is needing what and what others posses? Aren't there awesome coordinators of information who can see things get to those who need them? Aren't there those with strong backs who love nothing more than a day's hard physical labor who might enjoy moving them? Alot of them will do it for pizza and beer and do we not have those who love nothing more than brewing? We have those who love to travel and we have devout 'homebodies', networkers and stabilizers.
We already have everything we need in abundance, in Earth and in each other. We only need to let go of the perceived need to control and permanently posses.
In developed countries, even amongst the most "enlightened"....... people can't even imagine a life without money, without everything being a commodity, without permanant sole ownership. The closest they come is believing the answer is a system of barter and trade. So, the veggies become the money and the system begins again, determining a value of number of these veggies compared to those veggies and that hat. They think it will rid us of overlords....ummmm, history teaches us they'll take those veggies as tax payments and if you have no veggies to turn over, they'll take your children.
The "enlightened" souls want crowds of clueless people to preach to, life coaches want people experiencing helplessness to coach. They ALL want money to live lives of luxury. They do not REALLY want to see the present system fail. They'd like to tweak it a bit so it is more comfortable for them, but they still envision and dream dreams of becoming big corporations, being on the covers of magazines, to be the "success" stories.
We can imagine knitted hats as free to whomever needs them because we all have too many anyways. Grandmas are always knitting them, sisters, neighbors, cousins. Hats and mittens for everyone and anyone willing to take them. With those, it is easy to know it belongs to whomever has need of it. But that housing? That land? That wool? Those veggies?
The wool belongs to whomever knits. Whatever is knitted belongs to the one who needs something to wear. The land belongs to the one who can cultivate it. What is cultivated belongs to the one who is hungry. The house belongs to whomever needs a roof over their head. Simple, really. If the world can cough up millions of people in need of life coaching to fulfill your dreams of being a life coach, do you not believe it can muster up a builder for your home? A weaver for the fabric and seamstress for your clothes? Aren't women renowned for "social networking"; knowing who is needing what and what others posses? Aren't there awesome coordinators of information who can see things get to those who need them? Aren't there those with strong backs who love nothing more than a day's hard physical labor who might enjoy moving them? Alot of them will do it for pizza and beer and do we not have those who love nothing more than brewing? We have those who love to travel and we have devout 'homebodies', networkers and stabilizers.
We already have everything we need in abundance, in Earth and in each other. We only need to let go of the perceived need to control and permanently posses.
Thursday, October 15, 2015
An Armageddon of my very own! I'm such a lucky lady!
Hey ya hey ya heeeya ho, hey ya hey ya hee ya ho, hey ya, hey ya, hey ya hey ya ho, hey ya hey ya hee ha ho
A week or so ago I got the message I would be getting my 'clypticle'. A couple days before I was being given a key card to hotel room on the top floors and experienced concern about having what it took to use it. I was reassured I did.
I have spent my days imagining greatness for myself, ease, luxury, overabundance flowing money, tropical islands, horses, estate..the best of everything I have been given to imagine. I could feel their energy, being as 'intuitive' as I am, a could connect with those energies and having cleared myself, I could allow myself to experience the feeling of being in circumstances that would allow those things in. As I agree to make grandiose statements chills run up my spine. Daily I experience such 'tickles' from the universe of recognition.
I bring smiles to all around me, loving them so deeply, delighting in every possible thing with depth and sincerity. Allowing all mine and everyone else's feelings. Allowing life to get "messy".
Yesterday came a culmination of incoming 'smells' of previous experiences of complete destitution and the courage I expressed during them.
I had created a nice, tidy cocoon for my transition which included food stamps, cash benefits, something steady.
I have won prizes in three car dealership mailings, of gift cards but suddenly things aren't working out. I had moved to let go of all the assistance I had in getting around, moving about in this cocoon of circumstance. I had been being moved to say no to anything that was less than what I had imagined for myself.
Now, my freezer is empty and my food stamps are not going to be put on my card this month, I just found out this morning. That means no more cash benefits will be coming.
Yesterday I had what would have been considered a string of bad luck, using last of cash for cab to get to grocery store where I could not do the grocery shopping I had planned because a big sign at the front of the store notified us food stamps were late. I had to use the bathroom when I got there and it was closed being cleaned. My son got lost in the store, somehow going from the back of the store in the blink of an eye to being lost in women's clothing.
That $1,000 gift card I won but couldn't find transportation to claim would have been real handy right now! lol Now I've got the third winning flyer and have no ride to claim. All these resources slipping right through my fingers!
But I have been here before energetically, being devastated completely and brought into unbelievably abundant circumstances polluted by an abusive man and I remember wishing I had gotten for myself, by myself. We were paid an entire winter's accommodation in a hotel with spending money, Christmas presents for the children and when it was time to go: a freakin' car! But due to the guy I was with in whose name everything was given because I had no driver's license or ID, we did not benefit from any of it. It was all lost to his poor choices.
So now I have accepted I can make good decisions. I see the value in being choosy about with whom we partner up.
So in the same moment I am screaming within at the devastation, the memory, the pain, the confusion and singing in ecstasy as I realize what it all means:
This not a personal attack of deprivation, this is a shedding of all polluted energetic connections, I am rising from the sea of confusion and abusive control onto the solid ground of immortal, unlimited, abundance. I have made it to shore! I am letting go of the life jacket, man-made support that allowed me to feel the experience of floating, swimming, making it, not having to worry about staying afloat until I could trust the feeling of stability, security that comes from within me.
And so I strip naked, I paint my sacred body and dance a dance of relishing my liberation. Do I know how that abundance shall arrive? No. Am I hung up on the lottery and these car dealership winnings? No. They are all a part of the 'bread and circus' illusion. I dance and I sing triumphantly. No, the joke is not on me for in leaving me "destitute", the only thing they have divested me of is their energy stain.
And before these energies/agents let go, I poisoned them with hope. I stated clearly what it means to be truly free in writing, sending it to all levels involved in 'social services' and distribution of wealth, authority over 'abundance' illusions.
Which means there is no reason to turn around. It won't be landing upon my head as it comes crashing down.
I may be moved quickly and suddenly at the first opportunity. I may be allowed to leave gracefully and leisurely. Either way, I know the Universe has got me. It has already been arranged. I only know I no longer resonate energetically with any part of these circumstances, this placement--whoopsie!And "lord knows" I always leave a wake anyone open to expansion can follow.
Is this easy? No! This is where the warrioress in me comes in. Not to fight anything or protect me
from anything, but to give strength in allowing everything within me to happen that needs be, to "play catch" with the urge to fall into negative thoughts, to be on her toes constantly to catch negative thinking and comfort it, love the aspects that feel insecurity, skepticism, doubt, fear, aggression, etc. To coordinate and direct attention...the battle field makes a warrior dexterous, aware, far-seeing, intuitive. In the state of wholeness where there is nothing to fear, THAT is the role of the warrior.
In the meantime I browse an unsolicited catalog of equine products, western wear, etc knowing it is note from the Universe to let me know it hears and is answering. I continue to envision and dream and imagine and feel where I want to be energetically and more and more it is the only vibration I am emanating.
And while a part of me thinks there couldn't have been a worst time for the inspired choices I've made that led to this......I'm willing to bet on an energetic level, the timing couldn't be more perfect! Dependency is quite often nothing more than an illusion. Practical means are simply presented to trigger our allowance of the feeling of "possible", because 'practical' means are anything but practical ;)
This is my circumstance exhale, clearing the bronchial tubes for a greater inhale.....just breath, watch circumstances come and go like the breath that flows through me, breathing ever and ever greater depths of clear, clean, abundant, unconditional.
At the end of it, I think the only thing that really COULD devastate me more completely IS unconditional love in all it's expression. It's the only thing I refused to allow in and as with everything else, I have a habit of first discovering things for myself before allowing others to bring it to me and unconditional love for self is what I have been practicing. So, I guess I know what is coming. And yes, that scares me.
Every once in a while, we get our very own Armageddon. It is a blessed event.
Not long after all the above I felt an energy in the right side of my brain that "wasn't supposed to be there"...it usually only entered the left side of my brain. And not long after that "it" happened. And 'it' was pleasant, stirring out and flushing up to be loved even more of that which I had experienced as me.
A week or so ago I got the message I would be getting my 'clypticle'. A couple days before I was being given a key card to hotel room on the top floors and experienced concern about having what it took to use it. I was reassured I did.
I have spent my days imagining greatness for myself, ease, luxury, overabundance flowing money, tropical islands, horses, estate..the best of everything I have been given to imagine. I could feel their energy, being as 'intuitive' as I am, a could connect with those energies and having cleared myself, I could allow myself to experience the feeling of being in circumstances that would allow those things in. As I agree to make grandiose statements chills run up my spine. Daily I experience such 'tickles' from the universe of recognition.
I bring smiles to all around me, loving them so deeply, delighting in every possible thing with depth and sincerity. Allowing all mine and everyone else's feelings. Allowing life to get "messy".
Yesterday came a culmination of incoming 'smells' of previous experiences of complete destitution and the courage I expressed during them.
I had created a nice, tidy cocoon for my transition which included food stamps, cash benefits, something steady.
I have won prizes in three car dealership mailings, of gift cards but suddenly things aren't working out. I had moved to let go of all the assistance I had in getting around, moving about in this cocoon of circumstance. I had been being moved to say no to anything that was less than what I had imagined for myself.
Now, my freezer is empty and my food stamps are not going to be put on my card this month, I just found out this morning. That means no more cash benefits will be coming.
Yesterday I had what would have been considered a string of bad luck, using last of cash for cab to get to grocery store where I could not do the grocery shopping I had planned because a big sign at the front of the store notified us food stamps were late. I had to use the bathroom when I got there and it was closed being cleaned. My son got lost in the store, somehow going from the back of the store in the blink of an eye to being lost in women's clothing.
That $1,000 gift card I won but couldn't find transportation to claim would have been real handy right now! lol Now I've got the third winning flyer and have no ride to claim. All these resources slipping right through my fingers!
But I have been here before energetically, being devastated completely and brought into unbelievably abundant circumstances polluted by an abusive man and I remember wishing I had gotten for myself, by myself. We were paid an entire winter's accommodation in a hotel with spending money, Christmas presents for the children and when it was time to go: a freakin' car! But due to the guy I was with in whose name everything was given because I had no driver's license or ID, we did not benefit from any of it. It was all lost to his poor choices.
So now I have accepted I can make good decisions. I see the value in being choosy about with whom we partner up.
So in the same moment I am screaming within at the devastation, the memory, the pain, the confusion and singing in ecstasy as I realize what it all means:
This not a personal attack of deprivation, this is a shedding of all polluted energetic connections, I am rising from the sea of confusion and abusive control onto the solid ground of immortal, unlimited, abundance. I have made it to shore! I am letting go of the life jacket, man-made support that allowed me to feel the experience of floating, swimming, making it, not having to worry about staying afloat until I could trust the feeling of stability, security that comes from within me.
And so I strip naked, I paint my sacred body and dance a dance of relishing my liberation. Do I know how that abundance shall arrive? No. Am I hung up on the lottery and these car dealership winnings? No. They are all a part of the 'bread and circus' illusion. I dance and I sing triumphantly. No, the joke is not on me for in leaving me "destitute", the only thing they have divested me of is their energy stain.
And before these energies/agents let go, I poisoned them with hope. I stated clearly what it means to be truly free in writing, sending it to all levels involved in 'social services' and distribution of wealth, authority over 'abundance' illusions.
Which means there is no reason to turn around. It won't be landing upon my head as it comes crashing down.
I may be moved quickly and suddenly at the first opportunity. I may be allowed to leave gracefully and leisurely. Either way, I know the Universe has got me. It has already been arranged. I only know I no longer resonate energetically with any part of these circumstances, this placement--whoopsie!And "lord knows" I always leave a wake anyone open to expansion can follow.
Is this easy? No! This is where the warrioress in me comes in. Not to fight anything or protect me
from anything, but to give strength in allowing everything within me to happen that needs be, to "play catch" with the urge to fall into negative thoughts, to be on her toes constantly to catch negative thinking and comfort it, love the aspects that feel insecurity, skepticism, doubt, fear, aggression, etc. To coordinate and direct attention...the battle field makes a warrior dexterous, aware, far-seeing, intuitive. In the state of wholeness where there is nothing to fear, THAT is the role of the warrior.
In the meantime I browse an unsolicited catalog of equine products, western wear, etc knowing it is note from the Universe to let me know it hears and is answering. I continue to envision and dream and imagine and feel where I want to be energetically and more and more it is the only vibration I am emanating.
And while a part of me thinks there couldn't have been a worst time for the inspired choices I've made that led to this......I'm willing to bet on an energetic level, the timing couldn't be more perfect! Dependency is quite often nothing more than an illusion. Practical means are simply presented to trigger our allowance of the feeling of "possible", because 'practical' means are anything but practical ;)
This is my circumstance exhale, clearing the bronchial tubes for a greater inhale.....just breath, watch circumstances come and go like the breath that flows through me, breathing ever and ever greater depths of clear, clean, abundant, unconditional.
At the end of it, I think the only thing that really COULD devastate me more completely IS unconditional love in all it's expression. It's the only thing I refused to allow in and as with everything else, I have a habit of first discovering things for myself before allowing others to bring it to me and unconditional love for self is what I have been practicing. So, I guess I know what is coming. And yes, that scares me.
Every once in a while, we get our very own Armageddon. It is a blessed event.
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