Our Sacred Tar Baby

   My soul is immensely sad at the moment. Duality and separation has made water sacred and oil poison. Is not oil formed from the remains of ancestors just as sacred as those ancestors buried at "sacred burial sites"? Ancestors far more ancient and closer in time to our origins? Our mother? Not going to be popular at the moment amongst those who may believe acknowledging the sacred in the "Black Snake" is in conflict with honoring and acknowledging the sacredness and necessity of protecting water.
  Yet maybe that is exactly why the Black Snake uses men to rear it's head at this time. Are we not just like those men who treat water as disposable? Do we not burn up fossil fuels without thought or ritual as we put gasoline in our cars? Do we perform rituals when we order fuel for our furnaces, have it delivered and burn it to keep us warm in our homes?
   We treat oil just like the "bad guys" treat water. Yet we go even further by projecting fear and hatred and disgust at our brother oil. Maybe he just wants to be acknowledged as also a sacred part of the Whole, a piece of 'God', birthed by the Mother from the remains of children who came before, set on fire which serves.
   So, the war is in me as well...... as I'd love to identify with the camp that is "right", which it is. We've become dependent upon our environment and that is dependent upon "clean" water. At the same time, I know this body made up predominantly water will one day possibly be the oil perceived as evil......my future self potential.
  All this controversy can't feel good to our baby brother............to be used to terrorize and frighten the rest of creation.
  Acknowledging and honoring the sacred in our tar baby right along with water.....

Gatekeepers and Keys

  Ahhhhh, the whispering of honesty, revealing that which we normally would not ever see.
Am I the gatekeeper and you the key? That was the illusion, that was the story.
Yet the whisper flows through me, so subtle and sinisterly sweet.......
I am the Gatekeeper and I am the Key,
So it is for you and so it is for me.
Ah, shall I believe what I see with the eyes that do not see?
It may masquerade as insecurity.
It may masquerade as a test of your daring.
Is it to test another?
Or the illusionary test that is in fact for me?
Do I wear my scars and mutilations as excuses,
As guardians with flaming swords
ready to scorch anyone not passing?
Ah, but the entrapment of them:
If they cringe they fail for being weak.
If they pity, they dishonor, offend, prove unworthy.
If they declare too old to be affected by such things,
we shout "Liar!"
for we ourselves do not believe.
It is thus we entrap our own eternity.
We prophesy an 'other' to be the key to our own healing.
We languish in lack of understanding, waiting.
Always waiting, blaming, frustrated and frustrating.
Yet the truth we have had repeating:
It is in the core of your being!
Yes, now I see.
You are the gate and you are the key.
For you, not me.
I am the gate and I am the key.
Not for you.
For me.
Aren't we tricksy?
Aren't we cunning?
Aren't we sweet ?
Aren't we masters of hiding?
Of conniving?
Of self-deceit?
Of manipulating?
Of self discovery!
Of organizing realities!
Of planning exciting journies!
Of self-entertaining!
Of creating!
Gods and Goddesses
The Dance
Are we!

I don't celebrate Labor Day

  Life (and everything needed to sustain it) is an inalienable right. I am a necessary piece to the tapestry of this reality. I don't have to fight for my right to be here. I do not have to fight to "earn" that which sustains my life, my place here. Fighting for the "right to work" is re-enforcing, nay: demanding enslavement and deprivation of inalienable rights.
   Base income, gift economy....I'll support these.
  And for all those "Christians" who say "he who does not work should not eat"---that was referring to the spiritual wolves not doing their inner spiritual work yet eating at the Christians' 'love feasts' for Jesus said "Do NOT work for food" and reinforced that with the illustration of the birds. Jesus said "Do NOT work for clothing", reinforcing it with the illustration of the lilies in the fields.
  The Earth gives up her fruits freely as 'God makes it rain on good and evil', all things provided equally to all people. It's men who used might (physical or intellectual) to overpower and gain control of what is ours by right.
  Base income, gift economy.....the day is coming!

"We Shall Be What We Shall Be"; get your sniffers ready!

      I woke this morning embodied in serenity. YES! OMG! The recent past my "hard-won" serenity has been absent as issues came forth with me each morning, screaming.
      The other evening I felt malevolent spirit moving close to me. How unusual! It's been so long since they've come anywhere near me! Normally I simply begin to direct my thoughts towards that booming male voice that commands "Be gone!" I was one with in the realms of spirit and ANYTHING would flee. Yet, that voice has been absent. Why have I been abandoned? Then it came to me: not abandoned but given the space to embody for me. I HAVE been finding the knowing I can voice my "strong voice" in this physical reality. The courage, the faith, the daring........I have been expressing. In being quiet, it is serving me. Appreciation.
    I grew up in the "darkness", the realms of the abused and abusers. I discern now that both victim and abuser are both victims and abusers: we cannot be one without simultaneously being the other.
    I fled those realms of monotonous negativity for "love and light and goodness, power and sovereignty". I learned the extremes of light are just as dark as the darkest. I learned "higher vibration" simply meant greater excitement, whether that excitement was over "right" or delight in "wrong". I learned "light" could be as evil as "dark" and "dark" could be as empathetic and compassionate as "light". Any extreme is out of balance, out of harmony, outside of wholeness.
   Coming into wholeness I learned that in order to expand, to grow, to bring in aspects, we must allow ourselves to go at least slightly out of balance before bringing ourselves, 'new' aspects, expansions, etc. in.
   And so now I am able to embrace activism, allow myself to have issues with things. As I do I am shown in "vision" (I don't actually see it, I 'smell it happening') how it is the outcry, exposure, "having an issue" and voicing it brings attention to; thus 'light' to unresolved 'darkness' wanting resolution, to bring into wholeness that which has been separate. There is complaint that is not of the vibratory note as "complaining": it a reporting of the feeling of the divine about a thing, of a hurting without being "victim" in vibration. The brain here has to rely on the intuition for appropriate dancing in these realms, which steps to take and when.
  So busy have I been for the past year, having gone in during an orgasmic experience instead of "higher" or "outwards", in embodying the goddess energies, I had forgotten the masculine aspects of the Dance. A strong reminder came when this article was posted on Facebook by a friend:
https://whitecatgrove.wordpress.com/2016/09/02/give-the-other-a-big-fat-kiss-on-hierarchical-dualism-and-the-bullshit-it-perpetuates/

  All I had to do was read the description and I was like "Oh, shit, that's right!" How often had I spoken and it was that masculine boom of a voice that was speaking through me? The "I AM THAT I AM" speaking to those who claim to worship Him, speaking knowingly of His words they had not prayed as He commanded, never having been introduced to that particular teaching. Yet, there I was an embodiment of that teaching in action standing before them, an example of living. breathing Oneness with Him....a woman encompassing "a man".
   Then I remembered my ascent into the heavens, level by level, through the ages, giving voice to the goddesses, aware of the gods right back to the primordial....the formless, limitless and thus nameless. In oneness with them, if asked my name, I would feel a sense of "what is this?", a name is a vibration, it is "smell", it is profane to give it a limited sound and even more profane to give it the shape of letters, and symbols. It is from these realms that the commands to "make no image" are issued. Then it is understood that down in the muck of duality, where forms are solid and slow in changing, SOMETHING has to be given them for them to even begin to be aware of it's existence. Like the story of Native Americans who saw unfamiliar waves on the sea. Their shaman had to draw a picture of a ship in the sand before the tribe's eyes would register the ship and they could actually see it as that which was making those strange waves. So it is the formless takes form for recognition, it becomes embodied, comes into a state of Oneness with womb-man or man.
   So, I am reminded not to resist the voice of a man when it comes in order to cross my lips, for the inspiration may be feminine but the spark of enacting of the creation of it is masculine, it is the sperm fertilizing.......
  And so I "perform the ritual", giving permission for this to happen within me perpetually, the embodiment of The Dance and issue this statement:
"Do not be surprised when the voice of your God, whichever God that may be issues from my lips and the core of my being. Do not be surprised if I give you no name by which, you'll be able to 'smell' the energy. And if you do not, maybe it is manifesting so you shall reach for your own healthy relationship with your own intuition and "smelling" abilities. But, we shall not be littling ourselves for your recognition any longer. We Shall Be What We Shall Be."
     Get your sniffers ready!
Trust your training. Here I am reminded of when I was told of those who were not getting their human vessels ready for embodiment for they did not believe what was coming, the resting places from which they would experience their eternity. And yet it IS manifesting.....head THIS call, then if you have learned your lesson: "Get your sniffers ready!" You'll want to be able to give recognition ;) And do not forget: there isn't a name we cannot of embody!

A fusion of moments, I AM loved.

  I did not know how it was all connected until today's end. How and why was it the realization of how deeply I was romantically loved came as I faced a traumatic moment of many years past? A moment I had long forgotten and moved way past?
  It began last evening with a statement made by a rabid narcissist who has made me her focus. I knew there was something to be gained from every experience, every person we interact with but the purpose of this one was illusive and felt ridiculous. No response or lack of one dissuaded the persistence for attention desired via conflict. Whatever, I responded to the ridiculousness of it: "dance brighter!" I sang out to her with her every sentence until it finally sank in for her it was the only thing she was going to hear from me in response to anything she uttered "We don't need no water, let the little woman burn! Burn, little woman, burn!" came from in me after she left with: "If I were you and had to live in your thinking, I'd have shot myself in the head long ago!". Whatever. I enjoyed being in my head. My thoughts all love and support and cherish and protect me. I went to bed.
  I woke this morning and she was waiting for me. "Can I ask you....". "NO!", I respond firmly. She continues  and so I cut in; "If you persist, I will consider it stalking and harassment and I WILL be ON IT". Still, she persists. I pick up the phone and begin dialing...she relents.
  As I began my morning reflections, it began to sink in...........
  I was given a 357 magnum "for your protection". It was loaded with a variety of bullets: armor piercing, exploding heads, a nice little variety of effective and interesting. Nothing was going to survive me shooting it. I couldn't picture myself using it, but I was polite and didn't want to offend a friend. I had fired guns before, was no stranger to them, just not that interested. I could feel the fear infused in this one and cleansed it by the very nature of my energy in holding and cleaning it for maintenance, giving it a bit of my attention.
  Then there was the night, sobbing, I held it cocked and loaded to my own head under the influence of a wizardly musician who had thoughts of suicide in his own head, angry he could not have me.....
when I remembered it, I was glad I didn't. I began to be fortified as I began to be able to appreciate all the lives I had touched since then. I began to appreciate all the experiences and personal development that occurred due to them. As I let that appreciation come in after spending the past week thinking "the divine does not love me", It occurred to me that I was loved by me and romantically and deeply, though how I got that from all this and by whom eluded me. Then I was triggered to remember the moment of the
                                                                      *CLICK*
  While that gun was cocked, loaded and pointing at my own head, I had been lamenting how nobody loves me, my life didn't matter. I had lost two daughters, then in an act of immense bravery I agreed to have another and I opened my heart to loving and adoring her, only to have her stolen from me, another failed marriage, a friend who hated me because I brought healing to his friend when he was powerless to do anything, all my female friends had abandoned me and so I had struck out at them in resentment, how did my act of such bravery not go rewarded and appreciated, why doesn't life or anyone love me?.........when suddenly I had perfect clarity and the thoughts came to me: "I don't think like this. This isn't me". The depression had instantaneously vanished from me. I laid the gun to rest, amazed I had actually considered using it.
   As I remembered that part in response to the thought "the divine does not love me", a click again: it was He who had saved me. It was He who had created that "click" and brought those life saving thoughts to me. Today I was given to mention the origins of certain religions being of gods wanting their own extinction, another suicidal theme. I had saved Him just as He had saved me. I had made his eternity worth living.
  I have astounded, confounded, amazed and frustrated Him. He would have me pinned between two options and from deep within I knew there were three and with all the courage I could muster, I took a deep breath in of my own fear and chose that which was invisible to Him and what I believed could not be a part of this reality. With it I would be given to succeed for there was a "She" also watching out for me for the sake of Him as well as me for "She" was the cause of Him as "She" was the cause of all things. Oh! The vengeance, the fury! The edges of physical death, the edges of sanity! All wrought upon me purposely in response to His experiencing them in the face of my innocence and naivety! The hatred of spirits frothing with resentment, judgement and jealousy, of scars going back for an eternity due to energies I was given to embody! The humiliation and degradation given to be enacted by other "women" because unintentionally I triggered feelings of such ion Him.The ignorance I was kept in for the sake of authenticity!
  So now I see Him and He sees me, the human being promoted to Goddess, one wee little Stacey.
Heh, the little narcissist DID have a gift worth giving in her animosity due to intimidation, jealousy and insecurity. Everyone in our lives for a reason, every moment having purpose and meaning, every bit of it a true story.
   Now we come into wholeness. Now we know what love means.

Happy "Go Topless" Day!

Disclaimer: For educational purposes only! By clicking on the link to this post, you are stating you are at least 18 years of age or have parental consent to view it. Sex ed, social sciences ed, political science ed, including link to graphic video and photographic nudity.



Yes, it IS a day "late". You see; Facebook uses pictures of women's naked breasts (and no not all of them have nipples covered) to show us what is trending for news, but allowing women them selves to choose with whom and when they want to share a picture of their own breasts? Hell no! In celebration of the freedom to be bare-breasted, I posted my own picture, friends only, and got banned from Facebook for 24 hours.
Apparently, it's not only women's breasts a woman has no right over. Logan Paul and "Dwarf Mamba" are proving their status as "best friends" by assaulting a young woman and pinning her against a clear wall so short stuff can oggle her ass more closely. I'd call that sexual assault!
https://www.facebook.com/litvids/videos/1801675670089455/ and https://www.facebook.com/LoganPaul/videos/548382878693227/

That video is O.K. and funny, yet this photo isn't?

I WAS a bitch about it and the heart CAN be poisonous...

     I realized I was a bitch to somebody and it's root was in jealousy. Believe it or not it has everything to do with "awakening", lol.
     When it all began in earnest, I belonged to a Christian fundamentalist "high control group". I shall call this phase "The Calling". The scriptures came to life before and within me. One would pop into my head calling me into a greater destiny and be immediately refuted with one of condemnation as a woman and therefore unworthy, unqualified for the position for which I was being recruited. So, I bowed out of the religion declaring myself a poison to them.
     Then came years of bitterness as this war continued inside me, as two forces battled, it seemed, and I was tossed about within it like a toy within the wind.I continued to feel a sense of being alienated as I entered the realms of "love and light" and "enlightenment". the "arrogance" of and "demeaning" from the "Masters" and "channeled entities". So, when embodiment began, I felt like an original, as if this process belonged uniquely to me. I became possessive of it, defensive of it and didn't share it with anybody for this reason as well as fear of being called crazy while imagining offense at not being taken seriously, not given a place among them-the "Masters" and "Enlightened".
    As embodiment began, my eyes began to see in "technicolor" as if I was in a cartoon reality. People in general looked like caricatures of characters and I really couldn't take them seriously. I was constantly trying to keep myself from, at them, laughing. It was as if I was trying to maneuver two separate bodies to keep from stumbling. I now know it was my physical and energetic bodies not quite in alignment as what was trying to be embodied was of a much higher vibration than my physical body. Miracles happened, unusual events, paradise on Earth for me amidst a hellish reality from which I had become disconnected and judged arrogantly in my immaturity. I could hardly believe me and feared arrogance had led to my experiencing feelings of uniqueness, difference, separation from the unawakened/"unenlightened". I alternated between defending the "normal" human being and judging them harshly.
   The years rolled by, taking on a rhythm: spring was a time of new energy, new perspective I'd have embodied, summer to practice it and put it to the test, fall the scrolls rolled out in Divine presence; "Had learned her lessons?", the harvest would come with twisted prophesies and understandings due to my resistance to the idea that I WAS doing something people would consider to be done and said only by someone who was crazy. Fear tainted everything I did and said: poisonous and self-righteous but in comparison to others, with far more clarity and innocence.
    When I gave up resistance and fear of being called crazy because, well, let's face it, I had already had everything taken from me. Nothing left to lose and all of me to be freed to expressing. Slowly, the poison left me. I gained acceptance from others the more I accepted and expressed me and what I was receiving.
 Now once again the season is upon us: the next wave is receiving the calling while those before them are beginning their initial embodiment of the entity for whom an avatar they were serving. Then there is the "quickening" when even those avatars are culled and thinned out, narrowed down to the most likely to "make it". They may even be passed on to a higher vibrational entities for whom the previous entity was an avatar...woopie! it DOES get busy, with walk-ins and ride-alongs, teachers and students, offspring to come.......
  Oh, yes, for some the adventure is only just beginning and their arrogance, "touchiness" about wording, so very familiar to me.
  And that is why I get all "ruffly" when I see all the memes about "heart centered" and "heart led" realities. The heart was the first "entity", the first organ to become it's form and thinking within the human body. Then along comes the brain to which is attributed to and entrusted with the thinking. And there's this core, this central sun and this womb or cock connected to it. The heart can be full of bitter resentment and manipulative attachment to people, places, things, ideas, judgements that it calls love. This kind of love is treacherous. It is tainted with it's own self interests and desires for acknowledgement. It needs just as much love and compassion as any other aspect out of wholeness and alignment. The heart is just like the person beginning to come to life spiritually....it's going from enmity in duality into wholeness and peace. It is on it's own journey within the human being.
  So it was I found myself being anything but welcoming into the "higher realms of consciousness", "the new Earth timeline" or whatever someone wants to call it. I struggle in the mind and heart with what it means to be a sovereign being amongst sovereign and non-sovereign beings calling upon or not some supreme being that may or may not be me but with whom I have become one with on occasion when it came to call, when it came to mark, when it came to claim, when it came to empower, when it came to set free......for last fall, my scroll was handed over to me as I was given sovereignty. Oh yes indeed, WTF does it mean to be a"fully embodied" one which for a very long time has not been seen amongst human kind? Not even trying to assign that wrapping job to my mind!