Lately I have been twisting ankles, stubbing toes and such things unusual to my common experience of graceful and presice movements. What once would have been the common reaction to such pain would have been anger, embarrassment, frustration, aggravation, impatience, etc. Now it's "Wow!, OK, hang on a minute while the pain recedes and sheesh that is kinda funny, guess some energy there needed adjusting". After years of reacting differently my body has finally revealed it's self to me. That is because I finally used it.
I was playing ball with my son. He asked "Why don't you try to make a goal, Mom?" As I bounced the ball from one hand to another I felt as I said "My goal is to move energy in a way that is pleasurable..." and as I tossed the ball to him and he caught it, meeting my gaze directly, I finished "and to see your face." In that moment I achieved my goal/made the goal and realized I had "used" my body. That is when my body began to open up and "speak to me".
The body had perceived all my previous reactions as anger with it, frustration with it, etc. Which is reasonable: I was reacting to it's own perceived actions/failures as would a very sensitive child. I was an emotionally sensitive child. I was my body. It never "grew up" as conflict between, heart, mind and divinity and the world around me became the normal. It did not feel safe or trust that which I call me so it hid. I am 45 years in this body, this group of cells programmed to be fresh, new, unlearned, inexperienced, clean, innocent being. We objectify the body, control it, manipulate it......it is a body of consciousness independent of our soul awareness, it must be related to.
When the ball play began my son laughed and heckled every time he kicked the ball and it went past me. I let him go get it. I was playing for the interaction. He was playing to best me. So, I let him and I let him go chase after his own 'besting'. There was no judgement. I played the game I wanted to play and he played his. Then his sister joined in and they decided to play "monkey in the middle" arguing over how the one in the middle is decided, crying when they ended up there in the middle, changing the rules again so they wouldn't have to and then it hit them: "Mommy, why are you never in the middle?". "Because I never agreed to the game." "Set your own terms and let life rise up to meet you." Make no mistake: life wants to play with you, that is never in question. How the game is played is yet to be determined. The loving vibration emanates and life comes into your field and succumbs to that loving vibration, it cannot meet you any other way.
All of this came on the tail end of realizations that come softly as deep knowing of what is and is not appropriate. And that is not with any judgement about what is not appropriate, what I am experiencing nor any imploring/pleading for understanding, validation, justice, etc. It simply IS. And what comes is not an ultimatum, it is a given reality. And this is that reality:
People pray to me. That means as I go about my day thoughts enter my head with questions and I answer them. One of the world's top psychics in astonishment noticed "you're doing more than one thing in this moment" as he perceived what was happening. Yes, I was speaking to him, writing something on my computer and answering questions in my head that had nothing to do with our conversation nor what I was writing. had an email request for information with a "please hurry for I am a spirit guide and the person I am serving will soon be waking". Your spirit guides? They come to this human incarnation for answers to their questions on how best to serve their 'clients'. As I go through my day thoughts come with the imprints of gods and goddesses, containing questions. I have ceased answering everything in my head, I take them into the center of my being to receive the resolution. It is there in the clarity of my being they find resolution.
Shall I become a "life coach", taking money to impart spiritual well being? Shall I work minimum wage just to touch a single soul whilst taking in angels, gods and goddesses, giving my children to someone else to raise and educate?
I met a neighbor today who asked if I was a "believer". "No, I am a knower". I know Jesus as a brother, we are in contact perpetually and would a god have anything less than a goddess as a sister. Of course I had not said that to her, I only offer it here where I know those reading are able to receive. She no longer identified herself as Christian, she told me, because of all the stigma attached to it. Today, she got a new word with which to connect the relationship as she knew it. She kept apologizing to my daughter who was eager to leave. I responded with patience "What is more important than showing love to a neighbor?". She will learn this thing eventually when she is open to it. I will not force it on her, but allow her to receive and notice a new perspective can be taken. The love I emanate is a very grand thing, warm and soft and subtle and easy. To share it is easy. There are no burdens, only opportunities. I am obviously open to all opportunities to contribute positively to the human condition and those who are working tirelessly to improve it.
It was brought to my mind why the English keep their royalty. They WANT kings and queens. They want extravagance present in their experience. They need to have it for themselves, they like having present in their environment. By being royalty, that family gives a gift to their people, they honor that by being what people expect of royalty. And so what do people want to see for a goddess? Do they really want a woman on welfare with not even a car and washing machine? Do they want to see a queen struggle and meet conditions of degrading appointments at welfare offices where she has to provide excuses/justification, prove she is in need to receive life's basics? Do I serve mankind in this manner? And it not a matter of "better than", it is a matter of being able to witness something more, something exciting and inspiring, something to dream about and aspire to engulfed in physical representations of an abundant state of being. It is the presence of beauty. All things created equal; we like to be beholders of majesty as much as we like to be majestic and so certain aspects were created to behold and others to embody it.
I am self-generative. I can manifest my own food, transportation, housing, etc. I thought it would be nice to have morning glory vines climbing my fences and within a few days, even the house was covered by them. Every where I live edible and medicinal plants sprout and flourish. So, as this happens in my present circumstances, the landlord mows them over. If I manifested a car, it would be seen, tags demanded, etc. If I manifested a house, the owner of the property would object to it. Our present system does not ALLOW for manifestation. WE do not allow for it. If I had a pocket full of money: "Where did you get it?". When people meet: "What do you do for a living?" What would the response be to "Nothing, I manifest it. I manifested an island to live on and everything about me." A government would claim the island and I'd be plugged up to wires to supply power to the electrical grid or some sort of insanity.
I cannot any longer restrain my state of being. I'm too big. I LOVE my circumstances as for me, as a young teen, they were lofty. A single mom who shares her experience with her children, does nails and hair and laundry....I aspired to experiencing a close knit family. I'm living the dream. But the reality is: it does not fit.
A gate is soon to be open. A choice must be made. My 'planet' is already ready. This human consciousness has been made an over soul. I am a part of the grid surrounding this planet. That is where "all that is" has placed me. Unless "all that is" can come to terms with the fact that my circumstances must be far more expansive, I must choose the place that has been prepared for me and disconnect from the grid. all these guides, gods and goddesses will not have access to me unless they can rise and match my vibration. That which I had revealed to me 10 years ago as 'new understandings' are only now, 10 years later, being presented to the general population of 'enlightened' humanity. They have yet to embody it. So, what I bring forth now will not even be introduced to them for some time. The over souls must figure out how best to present it so it can accepted by their assigned humanity, their humanity has to allow it in, process and then begin to practice it.......yeah, time is needed.
Though shalt appear before the assembly once a year to water the seeds you've planted. One thousand years.
So it shall be.
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