Beauty celebrating her beast

  I began to wake this morning as a new aspect came in. So sweet. serene! I got the sense of a new contract.....a new agreement or extension in physicality or something, a romantic feeling even. My birthday gift! I found a small silver band in the grass right in front of me when I sat out with my coffee this morning. It's not likely real silver. Just a metal ring that fell off of something, a bit bent out of shape. Somehow I knew it was for me and it fits perfect on my ring finger of my right hand, nice and shiny.
   Today's undoing is the end of oppressing of the "beast" with the overwhelmed victim and softening the beast with love.
      News came I had to be at an appointment in person or lose benefits. The victim wanted to be overwhelmed: no transportation, the bus ticket promised was not delivered last time it was important. The "beast" wanted burst forth with ranting of the injustice, unreasonableness of such requirements.
     Not giving over to either, we'll let the subconscious come up with the solution. My only job is to have the two see one another, acknowledge, know one another without judgement...understand the other. Crying, tearing up inside as she dances in the fire of the anger raised. This is her power, this monster of which she was always afraid, who she always judged, who lacked the clarity, the allowing in of love to temper and was all premature and/or drastic action.....undermining one another. They don't know the resolution while "his" strength holds her from falling into discouragement and depression and her love and appreciation hold back fits and action.
    The subjective "she" acknowledges the loving intent of an assertion: "We'll cover you when ours come in". "His" strength moves her mouth open: "I know you would, but if you had a broken foot you could not offer to walk 10 miles for me. You have a limitation: that is all it is, no judgement, used to have it myself......it's like a possession. When you get your resources you will not spend them wisely enough to cover me. You WILL have to go to a food bank because I CANNOT do more out of mine for you or my children will be starving at the end of this month. " "We wouldn't let that happen". "I know you consciously wouldn't even dream of it, but you have a limitation we BOTH show love by respecting. I have to respect you won't be able to follow through and you could respect, lovingly accept you DO have this limitation".
    Where ever the chips may fall, I'm feeling my strength without it being overbearing. "Kundalini" is staying lit.
   I did this once before, but didn't know how to let the love in. A man I was involved with offered to help me haul something. "I would love for you to do it for me, however I cannot allow it. I cannot allow myself to go soft because I cannot count on you to be here consistently or permanently. If I go soft, I'll have a hell of time doing it when you don't answer my call." He understood and respected.
  Many would say we must not focus on what is not wanted. That leads to ignoring the obvious, what needs addressing...what needs love and acknowledgement so it go back into the darkness at rest/in peace. One moment of acknowledgement and love does not mean the majority of time/energy/addressing isn't on the love able to flow between us, establishing THAT as the major vibration. A brief "no" in a sea of "yeses". We'll live.
  So, undoing this day: the division between beauty and beast, we'll be reset tonight into wholeness come morning. Exciting!