Letting it go! A child thing exposed by a dream

Woke remembering my dream: I ranted as a man held my daughter in place with intimidating words and as I told him to get off, he taunted me by beginning to kiss her chest and belly. He was not getting off and if I persisted, it would only get worse.

So tired of processing! Thought I was done with the stories!
But fine, what's in it for me? How am I doing this to me? I see plenty of it in my outer circumstances, though it is not my daughter being energetically or physically assaulted.
It's not a choice of my conscious mind or even this human experience, my emotional body. This is deep seated, ancestral shit from the beginning of time.
I have marveled as my daughter told me, yeah she hated a guy but he let her play games on his phone and that was the coolest thing!
In another case a young woman told me how she went to a friend's house to ride a horse. As she was helped to saddle up the horse by the husband he reached between her legs. "Why did you ever go back there?!", I asked. "I wanted to ride horses!", she replied.
I see a young girl being pounded on full force with all his might and anger by her brother. She just continues with what she's doing until he says something. She tattles at his words but never utters a word at the physical pounding: she was getting what she was wanting while it was happening.
"Wait until your father gets home!" is our cultural habit. All "problems" are brought to the man by dis-empowered women. She brings it to him and then has no choice but to be subject to his decision and enforcement even if she disagrees with it because she brought it to him and feels responsible for THAT decision. It is ingrained in our being to accept without even noticing physical assault and limitation. Guess what. ladies: we're allowed to seek out a second opinion! Just because we bring a problem to a man because we're overwhelmed, exhausted, frustrated, we can say "thanks anyways" if it feels wrong what he has decided!
Somehow I'm different. From the time I was young I would say "no way" to such exchanges. If I am to get what I want, I want the energetic exchange to be clean. Yet each time I make that choice I am punished in some way. Not simply by the human being who has what I would enjoy but by the universe as a whole in response to this wounded part of me in the deep, dark recesses of history.
I see it. I smell it. I know it is a part of me.
So, love and accept it. Give it to the subconscious to work out of it's own system.
And it's not just a little girl thing. Even little boys are out of touch with their bodies. Children's lips turn blue, teeth chatter and skin burns while playing at the pool. The spirit and mind lord it over matter constantly. Boys are more likely to get over it as they take on the enforcer role and their assertions are responded to more seriously. But we live in a culture of emasculated male bodies: told when and how to be somewhere, working, eating, defecating, voting.....
Then as we become adults we let channeled spirits rule it over us and our bodies, our thoughts and way of life: "God's word" in a variety of forms, published and put out there, spoken and shared. "If we were in your physical shoes....". Well, ya aren't. Our physical shoes are speaking, too.
Physicality held in immaturity, "unruly".
We can send thought into our physical body for processing. It can scheme, it can plot, it can arrive at conclusions. It just doesn't like to "show the work".....too slow and limiting all that explaining! But it CAN and will if we are patient and give it reason.
Such victims don't know they can say no, can complain. How many times have I myself said "Beat me, rape me, take from me, but emotional, intellectual, spiritual violation is worse"? Well, it isn't. Our bodies cope and spare us their stories.
So, I let my body let go of it's story.
There is a clean "no" that can be uttered clearly and decisively without resistance in it. THAT is the state of being we achieved. Now it is time to extend it to the body.
Drawn into the world to be poked, prodded and injected with immunizations before the first breaths are complete.........
So, today I treat my body gently. I make a choice in respect to it's condition. It is worthy of consideration. I honor it's opinion. I honor it's experience. I honor it's fears, insecurities, indecision...all on levels my mind has no control over. I feel them come up, things that have been long hidden as trust arises. I have been singing to it of late, like a parent sensing the cuddling in of a child listening to a lullaby. It's an etheric connection, full of sweetness.
As I go through all this, I look with compassion upon family, the "black sheep" wound, the dark horse arriving on the doorstep bringing what they felt like was condemnation and judgement when it was only me, living my purpose, my mission to bring healing, light upon the darkness. The good news is: the work is done for you and my cells emanate the healing, making it available to yours so it can begin from within you as if I had nothing to do with it. One day we will all be so full of love, no memory of me as the dark horse will remain. I'll simply be another member of a big, loving family. For that, I cannot hate me.
Synchronistically, I finished writing this and went to Facebook where the following was posted by someone else and ended up on my wall:

'Friend, hope for the Guest while you are alive.
Jump into experience while you are alive!
Think... and think... while you are alive.
What you call "salvation" belongs to the time
before death.

If you don't break your ropes while you're alive,
do you think
ghosts will do it after?

The idea that the soul will rejoin with the ecstatic
just because the body is rotten--
that is all fantasy.
What is found now is found then.
If you find nothing now,
you will simply end up with an apartment in the
City of Death.

If you make love with the divine now, in the next
life you will have the face of satisfied desire.

So plunge into the truth, find out who the Teacher is,
Believe in the Great Sound!

Kabir says this: When the Guest is being searched for,
it is the intensity of the longing for the Guest that
does all the work.
Look at me, and you will see a slave of that intensity.'

- Kabir