Body orgasm, mantle and cloak

  I am no stranger to the full-body orgasm that can come with natural child birth, orgasm during sex, nor the orgasm of an organ in the body (experienced it with the 'super natural' healing of my colon and lower intestines) so when a process of release began last night, I could relax into it. A "clot" of energy was released from my left hip bone area. As it traveled up the left side of my spine and out my side it was a combination of sensations of orgasm and extreme expansion of the channel it was taking, the body almost going into complete convulsions. I knew my left side was more rigid from when I began middle eastern dancing: that left hip did NOT want to move as fluidly as the right. Now I know it was due to alot of stuck energy. So, coming into full embodiment, alignment, wholeness....we can expect some rather peculiar events of body part orgasm and possible convulsions with them.
  Another phenomenon I have been noting is what I called a mantle and also a cloak. I had no idea what they were about. I only knew I thought they had left but when they arrived again during moments of potential stress, fear, worry I realized they had not left at all, they has simply withdrawn to the peripheries just far enough for me not to be aware of them. So, what are these dark cloud-like presences? The answer came to me. When ever someone wonders what we are thinking, trying to get into our mind for the purpose of understanding (to come into affectionate relationship OR nefarious purposes, which it even perceives as a 'right' due to perceived authority over us-by them or us) they establish a psychic presence. The same thing happens when we wonder what another is thinking, how they perceive things, what they might be expecting of us. We draw their psychic presence to us. All it takes is wondering and poof! psychic presence is established. They accumulate in a mantle that covers us and behind us as a cloak between us and our darkness. So if you wonder and want to know the mind of god..poof! 'he' is present. Your lover? poof! psychic presence. Landlord? Teacher? government? Children? Parents? Neighbor? Friend?....there's a whole lot of psychic presence clouding our experience and even drawing their "karma" to their psychic presence in, over, around us. It feels like the "weight of the world" upon our shoulders, causing them to sag and be harbingers of fear. And as it dissipates, it is like raindrops of worry and fear falling upon them, penetrating our neck like the bite of vampire, making our body rigid on the side affected most by it's presence. For me that has been the left side. As all in the cloud of the mantle and cloak comes in, know it has been your own fears, from misguided aspects during our time of separation, that tied us to it. You'll think the thoughts of them, smell the "smells" of their presence, triggering worries and fears in parts that were associated with it: love them to death, love the ever-living shit out of it, let the waves of love and compassion of "I know" flow over and around it......just misguided attempts at protection. And dance the dance of freedom with it!

I give your mantle, cloak and orgasms!

A journey with a masculine sense of being and our heart space

An example of what we come up against when we look our masculine with eyes open wide, "face to face" in the men around us:

It still amazes me the kind of men I have been drawing. They want to give me NOTHING. They do, however, want sex. That's it. How can they get laid? How can they capitalize on my gifts? They don't want their psyche touched, addressed, commented upon, curiously inquired of (taking it automatically as a criticism). So, they try various methods. One is "Tell me what to do". Fuck you! I have been expressing my journey, my processes providing an example. It's all there, wide open and public. "This what I am doing and it's working". So, I know this is a reflection of what is going on within me: my "masculine" half quietly observing, seeking out weak spots to capitalize upon. And as I become aware of it, I slowly feel releases of energy leaking into the right/feminine side which is crystal clear and full of delight. So, part of me is still wondering how it can capitalize upon my gifts. Part of me is still putting on the pretense of seeking "outer" (inner guidance from the feminine) guidance, and presumptuously taking responsibility for the liberation of my being AFTER the feminine has liberated me from the oppression the masculine has brought upon it by it's existence in hiding...willingly. Awareness of this all draws out the teen female aspect's rebelliousness(cut off the nose to spite the face, leap regardless of the cost) and the more mature and experienced "witch" who can conjure harm to the masculine, which of course "he" likes as it undermines the feminine and so a whole lot of compassionate understanding radiating forth into all of it, releasing into sadness. Other "ploys" of immature masculine: the believed need to control and incite emotions, a reaction, responses from gift giving, startlement, manipulation ("if you don't do this than I will think you don't love me". guess what, it's not my job to make you think anything and I can't be held responsible for what you decide to think), which of course the feminine in it's immature aspects feels like they have somehow caused this, SHOULD feel responsible(guilt, insecurity in own position, etc.)....I should be "nice" and act delighted.......so how am I capitalizing on my awareness that my "energy" influences people's responses to me? How am I consciously manipulating my experience rather than allowing it develop naturally as a reflection of my authentic inner reality? Why am I not trusting that my authentic inner reality CAN develop naturally as something safe, pleasant and uncomplicated?
I am the most guileless person I know, but I a have become aware that I bring my lack of guile into calculated environments. So I address this without judgement. Who doesn't consider "what could I do if...", right? Children. They hardly ever get to choose where they shall go...they're told from waking to sleeping. They are guileless brought into calculated situations and when we are turned out at 18 yrs old: we adopt the calculator aspect for ourselves using our "heart on our sleeve" to draw people, interactions, responses, reactions that are wanted and conceived. In doing so we injure our inner kingdom, our false inner child and heart/mother. And yes, I am "touchy" about my beliefs, my inner experiences but all that is addressed in the choices I have been making as synchronicity draws those who are normally highly critical people into my experience when my "pants are down" and I fluidly address their questions without going into a panic. Yup, I am right here doing this........and it becomes exposed in my heart space for sadness to be felt, loving compassion to be shared with it.....I shall never feel THAT particular fear again. The hidden passive-aggressive manipulation of one's emotional self...amazing. To deny it is to expose it, to look for it is to create it if we look too hard for too long.....a quick, thorough inner check along with a poke up into the etheric body above the left side of the head, the mantle of darkness that descends when distracted by hurt and fear.......right there at the edges of our self awareness.
But I do not despair for I am recognizing the game of those who won't give until they first get an approved story (so i stop seeking an "approved" excuse for doing what I do, justifying my actions and choices...become more 'spontaneous') and when they finally do, they demand you count what they give in front of them and expect an overly appreciative, groveling acknowledgement of their "undeserved mercy".......no, I focus instead on the growing number of unconditional, unquestioning givers who, come to find out later, have stuffed $20 bills into my children's pockets or placed them graciously in my hands with a warm, companionable squeeze and accompanying smile of approval. i am growing into my vision of the experience I CAN be having. Their stay may be shorter and less attention consuming, but their presence far healthier and significant!

What the heart is doing during our long sleep:
The heart came to some semblance of maturity in our bodies long before any other part of it. It begins beating long before the brain and body are fully formed, establishing it's self and "giving birth" to the other two during virtually the entire duration of our life in the womb. We see it's reflection in our mothers and mother-in-laws, our daughters, sisters and female friends most of all. It can overbearing, condescending,narcissistic, patronizing, traitorous. Or, it can be a gateway, a conduit of peace between the body/feminine and mind/masculine.

Let us not forget our stomach:
They say feminine is right brain, masculine is left but feminine is rooted in the stomach. How much of anyone can you "stomach"? How much of anything can you "stomach"? It is a receiver, not just of physical food but of consciousness and awareness. When your mind imagines something potentially exciting not physically manifested where are the "butterflies" felt? The brain is courting the stomach with flowers of thought and in it's immature forms becomes offended when we cannot "stomach" an idea and may shut down that connection with the help of an empathically mutually offended heart. If overloaded with offensive circumstances, the stomach becomes ill and even shuts down, digestive problems develop. The stomach is closest to the core of our being, so if we want to know what our "divine essence", the core of who we are, our "inner Christ", our "inner kingdom" is perceiving, doing, wanting, "thinking"......we are mindful of what our stomach is telling us.

What we are to be:
Let the mind reflect the emotional core rather than reflect on it. The emotional core knows why it feels as it does about anything. The mind can receive that awareness, embrace it and express it with action, movement, voice. It can take in other thoughts that enhance it's understanding of things with complete loyalty to how the emotional core feels about such things with the heart as an empathetic conduit between the two of them, a nurturer of the fluidity of the relationship.
This may be where this is going.

Our most mature aspects

 We experience within us the feeling/perception.experience/personas of a mother and father metaphor: the experienced thinker and heart space. They usurp our experience from the "child within". Turns out, these aspects which assert to the inner "child" that it has no idea what is going on "out here" and/or "up here", are the most under developed aspects of us. They even go so far as construct a false energy/entity/feeling of an inner child presence, which the true inner being is NOT deceived by, buying into as it's self and thus draws things to us that kick our proverbial asses-parenting "us" instead.
  So, for example, we are presented with an experience/choice. The inner being, which we perceive as child like is supposed to have access to the brain to explore it's potentials: "imagine" what would happen if we engaged. Instead, what happens, is  the heart and brain cut off the "child" to interpret and choose for themselves what will happen, avoiding the imagination all together. Yet, these aspects are furthest from the core of our being and thus most limited in recognizing our true authentic self and it's journey/place within creation/this reality. thus it is we are led about by children. When we see or hear of an event that takes the lives of people or animals, we get excited inside-the inner being recognizes something. The heart only feels the surface of what it is witnessing, death of another human being, via empathy, feeling the pain. The brain doesn't wan that so it determines an action that will sooth the heart space of it's pain: send love and light and prayer for the victims. In doing so, it over rides and accuses and abuses the inner being, the most mature and extensively aware aspect, which recognizes the cleansing of diseased elements from the Earth and it's own experience. I'm not advocating going out and committing mass murder, but allowing the diseased elements to bring one another to extinction IS appropriate.
  And if we choose to dance to the song "Let the mother fucker burn!", we rejoice and draw to us experiences of not only more of the Earth, but of our inner being....we summon forth the purification of our more immature aspects: our hearts and minds, our shoulders and arms, our teeth, eyes, ears and brain. And if we allow it to occur within our own framework, harsh outer experiences need not occur.
Go in! Go in! Go in! and let the mother fucker burn! Don't make sense of things. Just do them and let the sense of them come when we are ready/able to receive until our immature aspects cease attending what is outside of us and are brought into alignment solely with that inner "divine" being, not separate and overbearing nor separate and serving but an expression of it.

The pure people, revisted

   A few years ago I was given to experience a oneness with an experience of the Pure People. They are what most would call Sasquatch, white furred pi-pedal pre-humanoids. The experience in oneness I shared went like this:
  A group of Pure People were asleep in a field. Angels/humans came forth in rugged vehicles (like jeeps with lights atop). The group scattered off into the bush except one male who stood up to confront them. He ordered his female to lay back down with her maturing daughter and baby son. It was with her with whom I was experiencing oneness for this experience. That is where the visual ended and the pure perceiving begins.
  More than once I have been shown visions of myself while in more lucid state being painted over. The final time I was shown my children as Pure People, as well as myself, but I alone was being painted over for one last "mission".
  What I have perceived of the experience in oneness is this: the angels came to the Pure People to help them show their "overlord"/God that there IS a pure consciousness within the Earth, within the physical that needed to be honored. The Pure People were not as pure as they could be. They agreed to the request. They feared the "angel" men, were intimidated by them, feeling lacking next to their equipment and technology. They feared being seen by them.
   Their bodies were violated, deformed, infected with angelic consciousness (DNA) and their "magic" stolen from them....just as humanity steals crystals and stones and metals and oil from the Earth for their "power" that is within them. All so that one of us could speak and demonstrate(it was said): prove our existence, in service to "angels" in service to their overlord. The trauma disabled them from doing so.......until now. They were deceived. The intent was enslavement toward the raping and pillaging of the Earth it's self. We were naive, did not trust the inner twinge because in our experience, we only asked for help if were immature-not yet fully developed-fully self-sufficient adults.
  We need not prove anything to anyone. To aid that which is resistant to balance is to perpetuate disease, infection, dysfunction. Answering calls for help IS an infection it's self unless it is FELT as appropriate: which is an inner recognition of immaturity in a viable bio-mechanism. The "angels" unwillingness to do the raping themselves was them being "infected" by the Earth it's self with respect for it. Their fear of repercussions for NOT doing the work, was their resistance to the cure they needed and didn't realize they had been synchronistically brought to obtain. Gold was not needed to preserve their world; respect for their "mother" was. The Pure People inadvertently worked against THEIR mother my going along with the plan and thus were alienated from her, becoming diseased themselves. Nature has her ways. We can let all the rest go. She has been patient because she knew this day would come, when her children would return to her, finally matured and fully grown. As parents of children come to realization of our naivete, we know how much of their own mess they must clean up and we know how much to help them.........so does our Mother. We do not need to know their language. We do not need to know how to express their consciousness, ideas, ways of doing or being....we have our own, perfectly suited to our needs, far beyond the limitations of theirs, actually. Let THEM reach and if it is meant to be, it shall be given. We do not need to help or make anyone understand anything. Understanding comes automatically when one is tuned into their inner being.
So, the wound is exposed and healed.
Metaphor or genetic memory........

Why and how we eat

  I woke this morning to an illustration and a benign observational feeling towards it, wondering "Why would I be given this?". I'll save the illustration for the end because to most it would be most provoking. I will, rather, begin with where it led. And I called forth all aspects from all directions within me to come embrace the parts of me coming to this realization, the warrior aspect to hold us up in place so we don't go off the deep end over it or flee into denial from it. I am not changing my habits first. I'm allowing to sink deep, reaching all the inner aspects that have been hurt by this first, allowing to permeate the deepest aspects first while gently reminding myself every time I engage in it: "This is not NEEDED". And I pray to my inner kingdom "Give me a picture of me free of these things to which to cling, to remind, to endear me to it....." and I reach as far I can stretch to let it in......realize, it's already been given. I can do this. So, I choose to give myself the taste of it by choosing it when I remember it until it blossoms and grows and expands within me unto full embodiment.
 It led me to re-visit another observation of mine of which I had no idea what to do with. When I am extremely happy, I want to devour good tasting food. I want to consume something, inhale something. Often I choose a cigarette if it's not something delicious to eat, to luxuriate in. Things began to click. I had already observed a child brought up in a violent environment (whether emotionally violent, intellectually violent or physically violent) associates elevated energy embodiment with violent 'joking', upheaval, actions. So, your typical abused child will beat on someone or something when they get excited, happy, or upset.
  Our need to consume something when happy is programmed into us via the media....even the idea of giving to less fortunate is associated with this. Heightened joy is associated with: received by giving something with which to be able to consume or to do the consuming ourselves....consuming. The "old Italian grandma" image, mothers wanting to feed as an expression of love and appreciation.....every bit of it is an association of emotion with consumption. We love to cook? Because we allow ourselves to feel our nurturing qualities while we do and to imagine the rewards of consuming or giving to another to consume. So ALL aspects are involved in this: the warrior on the hunt for how to obtain what is needed and then hunt to pursue the prey(that which shall be consumed) to feed and nurture the immediate family(the aspects of our being) as well as extended (physical outer family, friends, relatives, strangers on the street).
  Now, we cannot argue any of this: there are breathairians walking this planet bearing children, living long lives, being body builders even! So we push on with this. children lose their interest in eating at an early age. How many toddlers going through this are met with worried parents seeking advice on how to trick their children into greater appetites? How many are told "you have to eat more or you'll get sick, won't grow strong"? (while quietly fearing "how many people will think I'm a bad parent, a failure at parenting?" Yet, babies and toddlers have an almost overwhelming urge to place things in their mouth. The greatest "taste receptors" are actually in our sinuses, not our mouths. When we are tasting something, we are to a greater degree smelling it. If we plugged our noses, the taste of our food would be weakened. We were meant only to "taste" our environment just as one would smell a flower to enhance our experience of it as we would add it to an appreciation of it's color, shape and size...we might lick it if we like. When we observe animals (scientists will assert differently), we see biological machines tending to, maintaining, grooming our physical environment. How much do animals ACTUALLY eat? Squirrels skitter about tasting their environment, moving seeds about, as to birds. Grazers mow the grasses, trim(prune) the trees, and predators take out the weak, the sick, the lame, the out of balance,....."the infection". Most animals make it through entire winters without eating much if anything. So, what IS our function as another bio-mechanical unit upo this earth...the message is in the "medium", so when we rid ourselves of mis-programming, what is left? We shall see...."I pray for THIS vision to come forth from within me"......"to observe and be observed in complete appreciation, being completely appreciated...with all of our senses and perceptions".
  The illustration I woke with was this:
   We are definitely strange and odd little characters aren't we? We go up to a litter of critters. We choose one to share affection we feel uncomfortable sharing with ourselves and/or other humans. We confine it, stuff it with a "proper" diet, give it toys to entertain it, inject it with poisons and "neutralized" diseases. The rest we send off to the slaughter house to be killed, dismembered, and processed for us to eat. The "litter of critters" is the animal kingdom. We drag them into our cages and our insanity and call them "companions", "members of the family". They share our diseases: cancers, allergies, psychosis, panics, anxieties.........aren't we strange little beings? We are sadistic little children calling our sadism kindness and goodness and loving........just as much as any serial killer who eats their prey and "plays" with them by torturing them. They will insist they have the greatest affection for them! And we, we are no "better" than them.
  No wonder my stomach over the past year has felt best when it's empty. It's supposed to be.
The manner in which we eat, consume, and relate to fellow beings, in essence, is self mutilation.

42 and how peace on earth is achieved

     I had checked out what the whole online dating scene was about in what turns out to be a synchronicity leading to a whole chain of them leading up to how peace on earth is achieved.
    One of the synchronicities was my observation of the number 42 present in so many profiles of the men, whether in their profile ID or comments. So, I asked one of them what "42" referred to. He said it was the book "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". So, I began watching the series based on it. Saw why it was appealing to men and lost interest. As I turned my reflections elsewhere, I realized peace on Earth was never answered in response to prayer previously because whilst people prayed for peace, they chose war immediately after. Whether it was war/aggression/attack on another person, an idea, in response to that which would bring them peace, or their own inner being; humanity demonstrated a LACK of desire for peace.
    Even all the most famous spiritual teachers and examples chose war and conflict over peace. Jesus fought vehemently against the desecration of his father's house, ignorance, hypocrisy, his apostles....the boy got riled and offended at everything, even his own mother's requests for his attention. Gandhi promoted "non-violent resistance" , which is STILL resistance.  Cloistered individuals resisted being placed in the world, the world's temptations, the desires of their own flesh.
  The only prayer for peace that COULD be answered was that of one who wouldn't even pray for it intentionally, but the one who would embody peace, choose it in the face of anything, and simply appreciate it's existence enough so that it's soul desire was for more.
   And as all this hit me, I laughed, for in "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", the answer could not be known until the question was and in all that waiting for an answer, a woman had arrived at the answer of how to bring peace to earth that would actually work only moments before the Earth was destroyed along with the entire process of coming up with the initial question.
  Here stand I, a woman, with both the original question and the way in which peace could finally be brought to Earth.
  Now THAT's synchronistic.

Need to integrate the masculine? Earth aligning, what does that mean?

       Doing my embodying, the curiosity comes about what shall I be embodying? We are focused on wholeness. We are told feminine and masculine are two aspects of the whole, the yin and yang of creation and suddenly something clicked...
In the beginning was the Dance....that which we call masculine/god/consciousness did not come into being except as a result of a desire within the source/The Dance. Therefore wholeness does NOT include the masculine. It would be like a man trying to climb back into his mother's womb. There is no place for that. Masculine, having come from within the feminine consists of qualities that already exist within the feminine, which means the feminine is not unconscious. We do not need the "mind of god" or the "power of god" for anything. It isn't even an aspect of our existence unless we invite it in and believe ourselves dependent upon it.
There's a bold, brave line of thinking. It's job is solely to observe and appreciate. God is more baby brother than father.
     The Earth it's self has arrived at clarity and is coming into alignment within it's own understanding of all things. In reflection of this, the planets will be aligning. Belief, purpose, intent, perception, awareness and embodiment have come. Action shall follow. Anything not in alignment with Her will be "out of resonance" and "shaken off". Significant events shall come to bring into alignment or make extinct. Life on Earth will be changing.

     When the body reaches maturity, that which served as it's consciousness gets to go home into super consciousness(referred to as unconscious or subconscious) as that for which the body was being grown occupies it's home: the body, in what is called full embodiment.

  To claim your body, you must come to a state of peace in association with all that has hurt and frightened you as well as be able to let go of, be without attachment to, all that you love, all that excites you, all inspires you, all that you desire, all that you dream of.

  The average human consciousness (men and women) cycles throughout the month: infant shows up, child then comes up, pre-teen, teen and adult. As we evolve and mature, they begin to grow up into the next phase of development. So the child will suddenly "pop" into a purified teen and the teen...now that's were things move along quickly......That is why life is more of a spiral than a simple circle and we may return to the past repeatedly until EACH ASPECT's issues with any event is resolved and released.
   Your body IS you. Any part not in alignment with pure, radiant, divine, immortal innocence in full maturity is holding an aspect of you repressed, denied, disowned, deprived by the version of you in one of your stages of development. As your stages own the parts they separated from and merge with the next, that part of the body heals. We know healing and retrieval/reclaiming occurs when we show symptoms most would call illness: healing has already begun and excess toxicity has simply arrived at the surface for release. As this process speeds up, one might experience headaches and heart palpitations as pockets of resistance are met. Anything NOT yours will not be able to tolerate exposure OR claiming and flee. You simply decide how you want them handled. "I think I'll shit them out". May experience nausea as they're dumped into the digestive system, but that's the cool thing about the teen aspect: relentless, thorough, enthusiastic, hound dogs fearlessly on it and at it wildly. No foreign elements will be able to hide or survive. The teen believes in it's own immortality and invulnerability.
  Embodiment is owning up to and then owning your body.

One technique I am using presently is this: every time I feel even the slightest twinge of fear, resentment, anger, judgement, loneliness, alienation, a sense of foreboding.....anything besides joyous peace, I summon forth from every direction within my body ALL aspects of me to come forth to warmly accept, embrace and love that aspect which is out of alignment. And the feeling is like that of being accepted by a family member from whom you have been separated or alienated. On subtle levels there may be sadness, anguish being released, screaming in release.....do not be scared by any feelings, breath deep and allow it to happen. By this point, full embodiment is inner- universally wanted.