It has been given to me to reflect:
cycles..nature, expansion, contraction. In the cold of winter nature goes underground to process what it has taken in. In the brutal too much heat of summers, the same thing happens. Women do it monthly. Wouldn't it be awesome if we had leaders who could openly say "time to contract" instead of "we need to build walls and send people back!"...leaders of a population that would heed the natural call...
humanity has been expanding into each other's cultures to the point that every western community has in it at least one person who is an expert in renewable, self-sufficient energy, at least one person on making the most of planting and cultivating, and one spiritually expanded to take the population out of the dark ages......wouldn't it be nice if racist, rapist rantings and fear mongering did not have to be the motivation to get us to retract, process, cultivate and be born again as a country?
Sunday, January 8, 2017
Discovered my backbone......
I love my salty friends! They say just the right thing at just the right time without even knowing what is going on....
my friend sends me this meme. I told her it was timely because some people got pissed at me last night. So, she responds with "Glad to see you finally living up to your full potential!"
When I got done laughing at that I realized, wow, she's right. I have spent my whole life terrified of making people angry at me, not liking me, stop talking to me, talking bad about me.......terrified of confrontation. last night I did not cringe a bit. I had no doubts about my choices. I know who I am, I know exactly what I did. I do not regret or feel ashamed of it and know I have no reason to. Last night showed me who I have become, a potential that had been living inside me waiting to burst forth in all it's fearless, shameless, knowing glory. I truly am not playing small anymore and I am proud to have had that shown to me. I am strong and I am beautiful in my actions and choices. So, I am grateful last night happened in a way that is not smarmy or resentful. I'd rather we were still friends and I'm totally open to a "hey lady" coming my way, but I do not feel alone or afraid as I would have previous days. I know everything is and will continue to be O.K., if not continuing to get better every day. my future is not dependent upon these people because if they're vacating it only leaves room for other brave, bold, fearless, shameless people to find their way into my experience. I love them, I love you and I am going to go on doing what I do even more aware now of how much all the personal work is worth. I have self worth finally!
Stacey grew a backbone!
https://www.facebook.com/newsnercom/photos/a.407512346082749.1073741828.364861850347799/574571169376865/?type=3
my friend sends me this meme. I told her it was timely because some people got pissed at me last night. So, she responds with "Glad to see you finally living up to your full potential!"
When I got done laughing at that I realized, wow, she's right. I have spent my whole life terrified of making people angry at me, not liking me, stop talking to me, talking bad about me.......terrified of confrontation. last night I did not cringe a bit. I had no doubts about my choices. I know who I am, I know exactly what I did. I do not regret or feel ashamed of it and know I have no reason to. Last night showed me who I have become, a potential that had been living inside me waiting to burst forth in all it's fearless, shameless, knowing glory. I truly am not playing small anymore and I am proud to have had that shown to me. I am strong and I am beautiful in my actions and choices. So, I am grateful last night happened in a way that is not smarmy or resentful. I'd rather we were still friends and I'm totally open to a "hey lady" coming my way, but I do not feel alone or afraid as I would have previous days. I know everything is and will continue to be O.K., if not continuing to get better every day. my future is not dependent upon these people because if they're vacating it only leaves room for other brave, bold, fearless, shameless people to find their way into my experience. I love them, I love you and I am going to go on doing what I do even more aware now of how much all the personal work is worth. I have self worth finally!
Stacey grew a backbone!
https://www.facebook.com/newsnercom/photos/a.407512346082749.1073741828.364861850347799/574571169376865/?type=3
Saturday, January 7, 2017
Dancing the spiral through social stuff
Message to self today:
Live life slowly
to feel every feeling, good or bad
neither will hurt me....
and then choose where to focus
to bring in the more good feelings.
We have all the time in the world
we are eternal
So yes,live life slowly
Let the manifestations come quickly.
Synchronistically........
Needed this reminder of the goal I made here.
Why such a goal? Why such open, raw authenticity?
Because I discovered something: it is true we create our reality. The world around us, the Universe as a whole, it takes it's cues from us....how we are responding to what rises from within us. I discovered it becomes, kinder, softer, more generous the more loving and accepting we are of our own aspects. If we resist ourselves, the world around us becomes tight-fisted. The more honestly we flow, the more fluid our manifestations, the easier things come to us physically.
And I needed this reminder today as I really just wanted to spend the next two days in bed coddling my inner kingdom as the energetic spiral brings me back to all those moments where I learned control in reference to social interactions. The time the elder teaching me to be a minister told me "Stacey, you don't have to tell everyone everything". Discretion: an attempt to control the world around us, who knows what about us.Even if it's because "they can't handle it", knowing something. How will they ever learn to handle it if they are never exposed to it? Can we not trust we are given to share what we are a given to share when it is given to us to share for a damn good reason. No, not all of us can follow the energy to see where it is going, exposing the reason. That does not mean we cannot trust it. Maybe the greatest gift we can give people is the opportunity to "get over it". It'd make them a whole lot more mature, emotionally and easier to be with.
Another reason for controlling what someone might know about me: People can hurt us with what they know about us, use it against us. Why would anyone want to hurt me? I would think. The only naive thing about that is that we just didn't know people who have been hurt hurt other people. So,we learn that and we understand it's not about us then. We haven't done anything that needs hiding, to be ashamed of, given anyone reason not to embrace us. It's their arms that are crippled,not ours when we are open and honest with everyone.
Then there's the mourning and sense of loss of the 'naive' little one we shut down along the road. The one who never wanted to hurt anyone, who was so open and honest.
Yet, when we are young, we do hurt one another immensely because we are so judgmental.Even if our mind does not say so, we are still aware of our sense of divine origins, that our perspective is divinely given. The great variety of perspectives we're exposed to is so overwhelming, we feel a need to cling to and assert ours passionately, desperately and seek to make black and white distinctions to simplify things. When we are young and fresh, other perspectives are legitimately a threat to us simply because we have not mastered embodying our own completely and that cannot even happen until we've gone through our stages of development. We haven't completed our spiral. We haven't worked in our teen aspect, then our parent aspect and then our sage aspect.....and so we are so fragile at times and in places. We don't have the capacity to realize our judgmental defense mechanism does hurt other people. I always think of the two year old biting phase: a child bites while not even being able to fathom their bite is causing pain while they themselves are experiencing the pain of being bitten by another two year old. We just don't get it. And so when the world hurts us back for a hurt we can't comprehend we have caused it...well, we begin to fear the world, see it as some unreasoning evil. It isn't. It never was. It was simply just like us. It's only when we begin to take down the walls and blinders, begin to feel safe in it that we are able to see this. And those are the sages that are able to laugh at it and be unconcerned with what they see happening around them. I'm becoming one of those sages. Walking through feelings of guilt for not being miserable, caught up in the dramatic happenings of the world that arrive in this section of my inner spiral. Love the one that feels guilty because they fear they are not being empathetic, compassionate, might be behaving as if one is "better than" everyone around them. Dancing the whirlwind of emotion, knowing it must come, we must walk back through it, going the way we have come.as it lays it's self down before us again and again until it ceases to exist for us. Knowing, all of it cannot be avoided. We could not have lived a life any different. We begin life small and grow up, the growing stages and pains must happen. Through it all we cannot even hear the sages, blinded by the necessary to us blindness of judgement. They can only plant the seeds that will one day take root in us when our stage of development is entered where our brains and consciousness are capable of opening up to it. The sages know this and so forgiveness is never an option-for it was never a necessity to begin with. We just want to get on with the loving and embracing, the seeing and being seen, the art of accepting and appreciating the beauty that is each and every one of us.
And I can't just stay in bed to get this done.....my heater is on the fritz and the property manager has to come, lol I got myself out of bed with "This is your day. It wants to see you and you to see it".
Live life slowly
to feel every feeling, good or bad
neither will hurt me....
and then choose where to focus
to bring in the more good feelings.
We have all the time in the world
we are eternal
So yes,live life slowly
Let the manifestations come quickly.
Synchronistically........
Needed this reminder of the goal I made here.
Why such a goal? Why such open, raw authenticity?
Because I discovered something: it is true we create our reality. The world around us, the Universe as a whole, it takes it's cues from us....how we are responding to what rises from within us. I discovered it becomes, kinder, softer, more generous the more loving and accepting we are of our own aspects. If we resist ourselves, the world around us becomes tight-fisted. The more honestly we flow, the more fluid our manifestations, the easier things come to us physically.
And I needed this reminder today as I really just wanted to spend the next two days in bed coddling my inner kingdom as the energetic spiral brings me back to all those moments where I learned control in reference to social interactions. The time the elder teaching me to be a minister told me "Stacey, you don't have to tell everyone everything". Discretion: an attempt to control the world around us, who knows what about us.Even if it's because "they can't handle it", knowing something. How will they ever learn to handle it if they are never exposed to it? Can we not trust we are given to share what we are a given to share when it is given to us to share for a damn good reason. No, not all of us can follow the energy to see where it is going, exposing the reason. That does not mean we cannot trust it. Maybe the greatest gift we can give people is the opportunity to "get over it". It'd make them a whole lot more mature, emotionally and easier to be with.
Another reason for controlling what someone might know about me: People can hurt us with what they know about us, use it against us. Why would anyone want to hurt me? I would think. The only naive thing about that is that we just didn't know people who have been hurt hurt other people. So,we learn that and we understand it's not about us then. We haven't done anything that needs hiding, to be ashamed of, given anyone reason not to embrace us. It's their arms that are crippled,not ours when we are open and honest with everyone.
Then there's the mourning and sense of loss of the 'naive' little one we shut down along the road. The one who never wanted to hurt anyone, who was so open and honest.
Yet, when we are young, we do hurt one another immensely because we are so judgmental.Even if our mind does not say so, we are still aware of our sense of divine origins, that our perspective is divinely given. The great variety of perspectives we're exposed to is so overwhelming, we feel a need to cling to and assert ours passionately, desperately and seek to make black and white distinctions to simplify things. When we are young and fresh, other perspectives are legitimately a threat to us simply because we have not mastered embodying our own completely and that cannot even happen until we've gone through our stages of development. We haven't completed our spiral. We haven't worked in our teen aspect, then our parent aspect and then our sage aspect.....and so we are so fragile at times and in places. We don't have the capacity to realize our judgmental defense mechanism does hurt other people. I always think of the two year old biting phase: a child bites while not even being able to fathom their bite is causing pain while they themselves are experiencing the pain of being bitten by another two year old. We just don't get it. And so when the world hurts us back for a hurt we can't comprehend we have caused it...well, we begin to fear the world, see it as some unreasoning evil. It isn't. It never was. It was simply just like us. It's only when we begin to take down the walls and blinders, begin to feel safe in it that we are able to see this. And those are the sages that are able to laugh at it and be unconcerned with what they see happening around them. I'm becoming one of those sages. Walking through feelings of guilt for not being miserable, caught up in the dramatic happenings of the world that arrive in this section of my inner spiral. Love the one that feels guilty because they fear they are not being empathetic, compassionate, might be behaving as if one is "better than" everyone around them. Dancing the whirlwind of emotion, knowing it must come, we must walk back through it, going the way we have come.as it lays it's self down before us again and again until it ceases to exist for us. Knowing, all of it cannot be avoided. We could not have lived a life any different. We begin life small and grow up, the growing stages and pains must happen. Through it all we cannot even hear the sages, blinded by the necessary to us blindness of judgement. They can only plant the seeds that will one day take root in us when our stage of development is entered where our brains and consciousness are capable of opening up to it. The sages know this and so forgiveness is never an option-for it was never a necessity to begin with. We just want to get on with the loving and embracing, the seeing and being seen, the art of accepting and appreciating the beauty that is each and every one of us.
And I can't just stay in bed to get this done.....my heater is on the fritz and the property manager has to come, lol I got myself out of bed with "This is your day. It wants to see you and you to see it".
Wednesday, January 4, 2017
I deserve to be brought flowers.....
I deserve to be brought flowers, not have things taken. Cherished, appreciated.
I'm in mourning today (and however long it needs to last).
With the seal going out that signifies agreement to not allow the "unprepared darkness" to strike out at the love I show it; at me emotionally, intellectually, physically, financially, everything associated with that old pattern must go with it. What drove me to need a car, resources, the means to get out of situations? Protection from "burning times", to be able to flee when struggles within others were projected at me instead. Synchronistically I just listened to Matt Kahn's last month's offering and he mentions this topic exactly. So, maybe my present limitations are so I can build trust in the effectiveness of this agreement as well as pushing me out of isolation. Maybe resources can be brought in so that I might be a part of giving space for that "darkness" to fight it's self out so it is not doing things to people like me it would have to come to regret. I pray that space be given.
I shocked myself when someone called me a dork or some such thing and all I was given to say was "thank you". I had reached the point where I could accept and forgive and understand people were only projecting their own hurt on me or that they were being used to draw something out of me, but thank those who hurt me? I hadn't gotten there yet. And I was allowing that about me. Now I find myself finally saying "thank you" sincerely for awakening me to certain things....though when I come down from the "high" of initial liberation, I might get angry about it. And I allow it. A moment of gratitude is an increase from none of it!
I was given a gift recently. I used to visit nightly with someone and enjoyed his company immensely. Then I found out he had a girlfriend who he absolutely could not have know about me. I wanted no part of that betrayal and so I told him that. He wasn't expecting me to find out about her and so my knowing triggered him into blocking me out permanently. He expected me to expose him to her and his life experience taught him nothing different. Many moons later he sent a friend request. He finally allowed it in to realize I hadn't done what he expected. I did not ruin his life or relationship in retaliation, out of spite or any sense of "righteousness". In doing so, he was trusting me in a way he had been taught and conditioned to never trust anybody. That is a gift and precious to me. So, I approved the request instead of letting my own hurt refuse it. I am being entrusted with something precious and allow myself to receive it.
I realize that is my gift/super power over the past few years. I do not respond like people expect. My responses are things they have never before seen, do not expect and this opens them up to more possibilities.
And all this grieving has to happen to allow me to embody and do more of that. So, I accept I might be crying for days on end.
I'm in mourning today (and however long it needs to last).
With the seal going out that signifies agreement to not allow the "unprepared darkness" to strike out at the love I show it; at me emotionally, intellectually, physically, financially, everything associated with that old pattern must go with it. What drove me to need a car, resources, the means to get out of situations? Protection from "burning times", to be able to flee when struggles within others were projected at me instead. Synchronistically I just listened to Matt Kahn's last month's offering and he mentions this topic exactly. So, maybe my present limitations are so I can build trust in the effectiveness of this agreement as well as pushing me out of isolation. Maybe resources can be brought in so that I might be a part of giving space for that "darkness" to fight it's self out so it is not doing things to people like me it would have to come to regret. I pray that space be given.
I shocked myself when someone called me a dork or some such thing and all I was given to say was "thank you". I had reached the point where I could accept and forgive and understand people were only projecting their own hurt on me or that they were being used to draw something out of me, but thank those who hurt me? I hadn't gotten there yet. And I was allowing that about me. Now I find myself finally saying "thank you" sincerely for awakening me to certain things....though when I come down from the "high" of initial liberation, I might get angry about it. And I allow it. A moment of gratitude is an increase from none of it!
I was given a gift recently. I used to visit nightly with someone and enjoyed his company immensely. Then I found out he had a girlfriend who he absolutely could not have know about me. I wanted no part of that betrayal and so I told him that. He wasn't expecting me to find out about her and so my knowing triggered him into blocking me out permanently. He expected me to expose him to her and his life experience taught him nothing different. Many moons later he sent a friend request. He finally allowed it in to realize I hadn't done what he expected. I did not ruin his life or relationship in retaliation, out of spite or any sense of "righteousness". In doing so, he was trusting me in a way he had been taught and conditioned to never trust anybody. That is a gift and precious to me. So, I approved the request instead of letting my own hurt refuse it. I am being entrusted with something precious and allow myself to receive it.
I realize that is my gift/super power over the past few years. I do not respond like people expect. My responses are things they have never before seen, do not expect and this opens them up to more possibilities.
And all this grieving has to happen to allow me to embody and do more of that. So, I accept I might be crying for days on end.
Tuesday, January 3, 2017
When the deepest, darkest is a child harmless...
Now that I am out of it, I can see just how reasonable it is. The inner child, such a wee little beauty. I spent most of my life anti-twin flame, soul mate, prince charming...complete disbelief (if you asked me and I answered honestly). Turns out it was over-compensation for a deep desire which believed. When I was a child I would dream of a little boy who would be at all our "family" gatherings. As a teen, he was a crush in those spaces and as an adult, the lover/oppressor. For one who grew up feeling alone, the idea of this constant companion was a treasured thing. In the waking world, he was not present and this created a yearning...a desire for this significant other. Turns out, now that I've read "Women Who Run With The Wolves", that this male figure is the archetypal conveyor in us from our deepest intuitive knowledge to our conscious, waking mind. With the absence of a compatriot in my outer reality, coupled with feelings of being unworthy, I resented the desire, made it an enemy. Hence; disbelief of my own belief. My own worst romantic relationship enemy;) So, I danced with this today and could let go of this romantic idea of a destined significant other truly. I believe we are capable of creating these things and bringing them into our waking/physical reality, but it is no longer a matter of doctrine, something I feel forced upon me if I don't believe, a necessity which I'm fighting against due to feelings of being unworthy. I know now, for a fact, that if this is what I want to dream up, it is an absolute possibility.
(Adding: the idea of a man coming to save us and/or as teacher is also possibly a similar result of this conveyor of 'rescuing'answers being brought up from the primal depths by male representative).
The second clearing was more childhood determined "unworthy". Oh, we sooo love other people when we are little. For those of a greater sense of being called for, for being the answer to prayers (hey, your pray for a sense of peace or security and feel incapable of feeling it on your own, someone embodying it arrives on the scene.....), of having a greater purpose....we may adopt feelings of inadequacy as children when we appear to fail. "You don't recognize me, you don't listen to me", the child inwardly whispers desperately.....so dedicated and demanding of fulfilling our mission, which is not recognized, we feel we are an inconvenience. So, we think ourselves a failure and therefore, unworthy. knowing ourselves as a gift, we feel we become the gift which has been rejected.
For me, this has been manifesting outwardly . I've been told I can count on people. Yet, when I most require the assistance, they're unavailable or so very slow about coming. (My mother was a complete, violent narcissist and one of her methods of controlling and provoking others was being late for everything). So, these were subconsciously my expectations and self-judgement of things: I was an inconvenience anyways and desperately attached to others receiving the gift of time with me..they were depriving themselves of my presence...the very gift they had requested/needed.
Be good to me.
So, when everyone is late or says they will come but don't, I would enter into intense anxiety, self-loathing, etc. Now that I know where it comes from, from where it arrived and now that I know I am truly worthy of being recognized and attended and respected time-wise.....I know my moments/time are precious and those who don't see it as a gift...their problem. I see time with any and everyone a gift, for in interacting my "highest"/most pure self manifests for embodiment.......and "lord knows" I love it! It is perfect bliss! So delicious!
Manifestation of this change in deep darkness's perception came immediate: two rides manifested as well as all sorts of male attention....and when I was hit with...again..."counseling?" my reply was so confident, it was met with "You are so intelligent. You are a very powerful woman." and "You have gorgeous hair", heehee Why, yes I am and yes, I do!
(Adding: the idea of a man coming to save us and/or as teacher is also possibly a similar result of this conveyor of 'rescuing'answers being brought up from the primal depths by male representative).
The second clearing was more childhood determined "unworthy". Oh, we sooo love other people when we are little. For those of a greater sense of being called for, for being the answer to prayers (hey, your pray for a sense of peace or security and feel incapable of feeling it on your own, someone embodying it arrives on the scene.....), of having a greater purpose....we may adopt feelings of inadequacy as children when we appear to fail. "You don't recognize me, you don't listen to me", the child inwardly whispers desperately.....so dedicated and demanding of fulfilling our mission, which is not recognized, we feel we are an inconvenience. So, we think ourselves a failure and therefore, unworthy. knowing ourselves as a gift, we feel we become the gift which has been rejected.
For me, this has been manifesting outwardly . I've been told I can count on people. Yet, when I most require the assistance, they're unavailable or so very slow about coming. (My mother was a complete, violent narcissist and one of her methods of controlling and provoking others was being late for everything). So, these were subconsciously my expectations and self-judgement of things: I was an inconvenience anyways and desperately attached to others receiving the gift of time with me..they were depriving themselves of my presence...the very gift they had requested/needed.
Be good to me.
So, when everyone is late or says they will come but don't, I would enter into intense anxiety, self-loathing, etc. Now that I know where it comes from, from where it arrived and now that I know I am truly worthy of being recognized and attended and respected time-wise.....I know my moments/time are precious and those who don't see it as a gift...their problem. I see time with any and everyone a gift, for in interacting my "highest"/most pure self manifests for embodiment.......and "lord knows" I love it! It is perfect bliss! So delicious!
Manifestation of this change in deep darkness's perception came immediate: two rides manifested as well as all sorts of male attention....and when I was hit with...again..."counseling?" my reply was so confident, it was met with "You are so intelligent. You are a very powerful woman." and "You have gorgeous hair", heehee Why, yes I am and yes, I do!
Embodying the trickster for my own benefit..worked for me!
I came from a place where affirmations simply would not work for me. The resistance to anything closely resembling self respect was just too strong. Self talk was a self depreciating loop of childhood received accusations, creating impossibilities of anything positive coming out of me. So, instead of trying to force myself to speak positively about me, things I "could never believe", I found a way to bring beautiful words closer to my soul that did not threaten my low self image. My low self image was my safety and security because so long as I believed I was every sort of evil intent, I fit in, had a place, was accepted as such by my surroundings. To resemble anything positive or of value, was to receive beatings on every level to "put me in my place"....I had a place and that was something.
So, what I did was get some construction paper in blue and green, soothing to me. I covered them in plastic and used them to cover my bathroom mirror. I used permanent marker to write words that described things that gave me good feeling sensations. If I saw something while out walking or shopping that I would describe as beautiful, I wrote beautiful on there. If I saw something elegant, I wrote that on there. Soon, those pages were covered with awesome feeling words: delightful, exotic, graceful, sexy, luscious, delicious, ecstatic. Instead of critiquing myself as I brushed my teeth or washed my hands or dried off from a shower, I was experiencing these words and these feelings.I felt when I saw these things. I spent my days feeling oh, so much better!.And while we are not supposed to be dependent upon other people's opinions of us to know our self worth, it was responses from other people that allowed me to begin to see myself differently and seeing was believing......others saw and expressed to me my radiance, my sexy, my warmth, my happy, my free...and now "affirmations" are no longer necessary because my self talk is naturally affirming........and in finding a way to arrive in this place of greater confidence and all around well-being with delicious, delightful, decadent, streams intertwining....I can accept the pointing out by others that I am resourceful and ingenious
;)
So, what I did was get some construction paper in blue and green, soothing to me. I covered them in plastic and used them to cover my bathroom mirror. I used permanent marker to write words that described things that gave me good feeling sensations. If I saw something while out walking or shopping that I would describe as beautiful, I wrote beautiful on there. If I saw something elegant, I wrote that on there. Soon, those pages were covered with awesome feeling words: delightful, exotic, graceful, sexy, luscious, delicious, ecstatic. Instead of critiquing myself as I brushed my teeth or washed my hands or dried off from a shower, I was experiencing these words and these feelings.I felt when I saw these things. I spent my days feeling oh, so much better!.And while we are not supposed to be dependent upon other people's opinions of us to know our self worth, it was responses from other people that allowed me to begin to see myself differently and seeing was believing......others saw and expressed to me my radiance, my sexy, my warmth, my happy, my free...and now "affirmations" are no longer necessary because my self talk is naturally affirming........and in finding a way to arrive in this place of greater confidence and all around well-being with delicious, delightful, decadent, streams intertwining....I can accept the pointing out by others that I am resourceful and ingenious
;)
Sends the dragon soaring....what a greater infusion of love and happiness is prone to do
Synchronistically....
I stand as if arms wide open
Soft tears of consented to pain
streaming down my face.
So much pure love
I've embodied the past few days
it's catching up with me...
I turn it it in on me
like a whirlwind
it becomes all consuming flames..
more barriers and places
long unseen from me
being penetrated and triggered
brought back to life in me
rising up to meet this fire
so tender
I whimper
as I invite it all back inward to destroy me
I am breaking.....
all the while sensing...
my strength,
the dragon
flowing steady
through every fiber of my being
holding me strongly
steadily present and securing
flying as one with me
I stand as if arms wide open
Soft tears of consented to pain
streaming down my face.
So much pure love
I've embodied the past few days
it's catching up with me...
I turn it it in on me
like a whirlwind
it becomes all consuming flames..
more barriers and places
long unseen from me
being penetrated and triggered
brought back to life in me
rising up to meet this fire
so tender
I whimper
as I invite it all back inward to destroy me
I am breaking.....
all the while sensing...
my strength,
the dragon
flowing steady
through every fiber of my being
holding me strongly
steadily present and securing
flying as one with me
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