Embodying the trickster for my own benefit..worked for me!

I came from a place where affirmations simply would not work for me. The resistance to anything closely resembling self respect was just too strong. Self talk was a self depreciating loop of childhood received accusations, creating impossibilities of anything positive coming out of me. So, instead of trying to force myself to speak positively about me, things I "could never believe", I found a way to bring beautiful words closer to my soul that did not threaten my low self image. My low self image was my safety and security because so long as I believed I was every sort of evil intent, I fit in, had a place, was accepted as such by my surroundings. To resemble anything positive or of value, was to receive beatings on every level to "put me in my place"....I had a place and that was something.
So, what I did was get some construction paper in blue and green, soothing to me. I covered them in plastic and used them to cover my bathroom mirror. I used permanent marker to write words that described things that gave me good feeling sensations. If I saw something while out walking or shopping that I would describe as beautiful, I wrote beautiful on there. If I saw something elegant, I wrote that on there. Soon, those pages were covered with awesome feeling words: delightful, exotic, graceful, sexy, luscious, delicious, ecstatic. Instead of critiquing myself as I brushed my teeth or washed my hands or dried off from a shower, I was experiencing these words and these feelings.I felt when I saw these things. I spent my days feeling oh, so much better!.And while we are not supposed to be dependent upon other people's opinions of us to know our self worth, it was responses from other people that allowed me to begin to see myself differently and seeing was believing......others saw and expressed to me my radiance, my sexy, my warmth, my happy, my free...and now "affirmations" are no longer necessary because my self talk is naturally affirming........and in finding a way to arrive in this place of greater confidence and all around well-being with delicious, delightful, decadent, streams intertwining....I can accept the pointing out by others that I am resourceful and ingenious ;)