A Shattering of Realities Coming to Bare.....

    I saw an event sponsored by a domestic violence organization. I thought "this isn't going to work. These people are experiencing 'normal' relationships with the same type of interactions for generation upon generation. They aren't going to self-identify as abusive. They don't perceive the need for such an event, despite a local young woman killed by her intimate partner just days before this. What we need to do is show them a non-violent relationship in action, something they can aspire to (when they're done calling it corny, weak, sissies) and thus inspire a desire for change, a reconsideration of their perception of their reality".  As is, you show them what an emotionally and intellectually violent relationship looks like and their response is "that's not abusive, that's fucking normal! My father never killed my mother. My mother never killed her kids. I never hurt anyone! These people don't know what they're talking about. They're the ones with the problem".
   I saw a young man resentfully grab his girlfriend's tit because she was being 'needy'. A few days later the pre-teen she tutors did the same thing. She brushed it off as nothing. He was imitating her boyfriend and that's just 'normal guy' behavior. I, of course was appalled for a moment. It's true, it's their normal experience. Notably, she kept it from the boy's mother because she knew the boy would get in trouble for it.
  Recently when this young couple was interacting; him beating her on the head 'playfully' but obviously frustrated, with a rolled up paper calling her stupid, etc. "Just do what I tell you to do!".... I said in a mock official voice "I'm a DV advocate, I'm a mandated reporter of this partner abuse stuff, so I'm just gonna turn my back here so I don't see this". Also, recently, a neighbor was criticizing the young woman's housekeeping habits, meal preparations, etc. I said I believed she's depressed. "Yeah, because she's cooped up in that apartment all day", the neighbor said. "No, because so are we, but we're not depressed".replied I. Synchronistically, the same young woman went to see a doctor recently who said she is depressed and asked if her boyfriend is abusive. The doctor nailed it and she refuses to hear it. She doesn't treat her child any differently than how her boyfriend treats her. There's a whole lot of ego on the line and a perception of herself and her whole reality being challenged.
   The thing is, none of these people are evil. They are not the "bad guys". They're good-hearted, good natured, loving, outgoing, generous, attentive. They'll drop everything to help a neighbor who needs it.  They're young and vibrant and brighten the world around them. They're simply conditioned to be frustrated, critical, and energetically violent. They're conditioned to lack emotional intelligence which leads to a fragile over-intellectualized ego. They're no different than the rest of mainstream western society. They are, in fact 'normal' with a greater sense of community contribution than city shut-ins.
   "The Powers That BE" are, however, obviously pushing for an awakening. I believe they have the grit and love flowing through them to survive what is being asked of them: to become pioneers of social change in their community.