Moving from anger to wrath......

     Jesus, in oneness with god, was recorded as saying "I do not judge, but when I do, my judgement is true". The same can be applied to self-protection, our sense of self-worth; "I do not get angry, but when I do, my wrath is true/appropriate". Really no anger is inappropriate. It is showing us our triggers, where we are not being true to ourselves and thus being exposed. In that case, it's on us and we wouldn't want to be taking it out on anybody else. Then there are real infringements that need addressing. When living authentically, the only thing left is wrath at real infringements and usually it's just the signal to the universe that there is no doubt within us that we are ready to be released from limitations. The infringement is merely a question, the answer a conviction so strong it comes out as wrathful.
  I have feared this aspect of our full spectrum, and rightfully so, probably. I grew up on the receiving end of two very volatile parents and a volatile brother 9 months younger but physically much bigger. Anger=abuse and so I never felt safe amidst confrontation with anger, theirs or mine. Even a voice bold with conviction and clear direction would make me cry. The only time anyone in my experience became sure of what they were going to do, it was when they overcame self-control to attack me violently. I didn't want to do that to anyone else...ever.
  Add to that "supernatural interference", which I now recognize as my portion of wrath acting separately from me. When one of my brother's friends crossed the line in bullying me on the school bus, hitting me square between the eyes with a pencil he flung at me, I stood up in all my wrath and declared while looking him straight in the eye, "I wish you were dead". He was hit by a car and killed when running across the road in a game of tag not long after.
   When in high school a new girl came into town from New York. From small countryside town perspective, it was obvious she was badass and I steered clear of her.For some reason she became focused on me and ganged up with other girls who did not like me. One of them had a court date where she was going to be let off parole or something. They had vowed they were going straight from that court room to hunting me down and killing me. They never made it to the court hearing, they were decapitated in a car accident on their way there.
  There were the times when "wrath" had to take me out to see to it's business. I had come to fear being provoked well and good by the time I was dating a guy over 6 1/2 ft tall, well muscled and spoiled first-born Italian son, He exuded privilege and knew he could get away with anything. We were at a party and he was using other girls to make me jealous, humiliate me. Finally, walking into the house, he let the door slam in my face as I walked in behind him after he had held it open for them. I felt humiliated and don't remember a damn thing until the next day when his mother was secretly thanking me. Apparently, I had snapped his leg at the knee so bad he could touch his toes to his nose without lifting his upper leg---unhinged completely.
   The other time wrath put me in the back seat was when my brother's friend, a busty, arrogant red-head decided to make me her target. She shoved me, shoved me again and then went to swing. I don't remember anything from there until I woke up on top of her punching her in the face and I looked on in horror. "Let go of my hair, I don't want to be doing this to you!" I yelled at her. She let go and ran from there.
   It was after those "blackouts" I began to cling to my consciousness determinedly. I did not like not remembering. I became a consciousness self-control freak and people pleaser, more than I was already. This kept my wrath separate from me. Being separated made my wrath angry at me. I did not know what it was then because I was used to anger coming from my parents. This time was clearly "supernaturally fueled", however; my father had moved into an apartment and I had gone to stay with him. He was the lesser of two evils between my parents at that point. I had come home from a dance at school with my boyfriend and friends. My father was passed out drunk on the couch, so I said good night and tried to sneak past him to my room. You learn not to wake a sleeping drunk, even if you mad eit home before curfew. Before my friends could leave and before I could sneak past the couch, my father leapt up over the back of the couch from a dead sleep. He grabbed me up off my feet one-handed and began to toss me like a rag doll against the walls. When he stopped for a minute to tell my friends to leave and send me to my room, I told my boyfriend to go out back and wait for me. I ran up to my room, barricaded the door and jumped out the second story window through a snowstorm and into my boyfriend's arms. Disembodied wrath WILL haunt you. Even college educated psychologists will tell you a teenager's repressed aspects will manifest as poltergeists and shit (I took a psychology class in college, so that's how I know).  When I returned to my room the next day when I knew he'd be out, it was trashed. He had broken the door down and tossed furniture when he couldn't find me. I went back to stay with my mother.
   Now I can see my wrath was appropriate and brought me no harm when I did embody it. I remember when there were no negative consequences for it. There was the time I was waitressing and my butt got grabbed. I swung as I turned only to hit my boss square across the face. I was horrified, but he did apologize and did not fire me.
  I began to come to terms with my portion of wrath a few years ago. It seems it has a thing with heads. Guy who kidnapped me? Skull cracked open after I escaped from him in some kind of hillbilly sled behind a four wheeler fun stunt. He's walking around not quite right in the head ever since-worse than before he did that to me. Lover who betrayed me? Cracked upside the head and sent to the hospital after I told him not to come back. He had become protective of a young street woman and her drug dealer was used to 'knock some sense' into him. He also got charged for rape when he tried to help out another woman.
   I only consciously summoned my disembodied wrath once as "Arch Angel Michael" after I felt "the hand of god" slam down and demand a stop to the taking of children from me. A neighbor who coveted my ability to bear children chose to lie in court about me. No doubt my ex promised he'd be paying her for giving riding lessons to the children he would be able to take from me for years to come if she did this. (She did similar previously in another matter, so it is informed understanding of her charector, not a wild guess). When I lit that candle in the ritual to summon Arch Angel Michael with the request for vengeance, I did not put a label on that vengeance before I saw the dark form emerge from the flame of the candle like smoke, I just trusted "he" would know what was appropriate.As horrified as I was by the idea, I see now that it was just: her "children" for mine. She couldn't have babies at that time, so her horses were her children. She lost some in  a barn fire. Shortly after losing her "children", her husband divorced her. Some would think the outward appearance of her life now is better; "none the worse for wear", but she is in fact trapped in a marriage as sadistic as the relationship I had left with a man as manipulative and controlling as the one she aided and abetted in robbing me of two of my children.
   I know none of this is my imagination, hallucination or some sort of insanity. The clearest, most obvious evidence given me was my interactions with a "believing" woman I shared living space with for a time. She would marvel openly at how while we'd be having conversations about spiritual things, she could see it in my eyes when divinely originated words came through me with concepts I did not know until the moment I was speaking them. She had been making a hard time for me on many fronts, but the one in particular that humiliated me was my digestive issues I was then experiencing. As we spoke and she apologized to me I felt the heat rise in me, even though I was accepting the apology. She saw that light in my eyes as I spoke of what she had visited upon me would be visited upon her as she suffered digestive issues even worse than mine. She said it felt like I was cursing her. No, not a curse. It was "divine wrath" speaking a foreboding fact prophetically.
  To sum it up, after reviewing all this, I have come to understand that we are given qualities of the divine/universe/all that is, in equal measure. With larger capacities for being a vessel of immense love, profound understanding, sharp emotional and intellectual intelligence, crystal clear, highly intuitive 'psychic' senses..... the matching capacity for self worth, which we might call wrath when it is infringed upon, is included. This self worth in the form of wrath is not a "warning" being issued. It is the known fact that what has been visited upon the divine as it is expressing it's self in a vessel will be visited upon the infringer of that self worth in equal or greater measure (it gains momentum as it travels and the energy portion of self worth triggered in the infringed upon is added to the energy of that which did the offending). All this is allowed to occur for the shaping of the vessels. Most are only sorry because intellectually they know they've done wrong according to their conditioning or because they do not like the results of their actions; had something taken from them they wanted or are experiencing pain.The only true knowing that one has done wrong is to be aware of that wrong being visited upon them in return. The only true "sorry" is to acknowledge and accept and allow without resistance this lesson to come upon them. One must willingly and consciously walk in the other's shoes, finding love and appreciation  for the one who wore them before you. It is to acknowledge the perspective they may have gotten from that infringement, even if it is not the one you took from the circumstances. To be sorry is to "see" clearly and widely with love and appreciation for the one whose self worth we have infringed. "Sorry" is a joy to be had rather than a "sorrow"/sadness to be embodied.
  "This is the word that goes out and does not return until it is fulfilled, visited upon generation after generation until a vessel comes forth in which true 'sorrow' is embodied". "This means the speaking of these perspective to each other"
  Our job in all this is to allow ourselves to embody fully our self worth with proper boundaries in appropriate places, giving/allowing ourselves appropriate circumstances as an expression of self-respect so that our self-worth is not violated/infringed upon,..... made wrathful unnecessarily.