Too soon to be a priority?

        The romantic realms have been difficult for me, simply because I know what feels natural, unefforted, smooth and sweet. This is met with the patriarchal governed way of relating, the rationalization of everything, the need to justify, to explain. The lack of unity, of oneness, of awareness of the inter-connectedness of all existence had no words to translate my way of being. "Justification" of it was missing. The only words anywhere near a description of a woman who recognized potential immediately were "whore" slut" and "easy".
      Add to this my training in how to prevent one's self from being a victim of domestic violence, and I was further denied what came natural to me. The reasoning goes "If they want to move fast, have commitment too soon, they are dysfunctional and controlling, dependent, co-dependent, disabling". So, my confusion set in with boundaries and standards and testing that did not resonate with me.
     So, one day a man expressed great interest in me. How profoundly deep my writings! He would drive as far as needed. Was I ready to at least have a phone conversation. OK. "Today?", I asked. "No". errrr O.K. So quite some time passed and he apologized for not getting back to me for some time because of such and such a thing. He wanted to meet. I said no. He had 'led me on' with expressing intent on being ready to meet, even if only over the phone and then dropped me like a hot potato. His reasoning was that people have to be more involved for great lengths of time in order to become a priority. It took me some time before I could translate how wrong this was and why it so did not resonate with me.
    Turns out, if our own personal development is a priority, the attendance to that which it flourishes in should be a priority. Our commitment to those with whom we experience growth, is a commitment to our own self love and growth. We can only love the world as much as we love ourselves. We can only pour love into the world according to that much that is within us. We fill ourselves up greatly by giving ourselves the environment to do that in. If we neglect that environment, we deprive ourselves of it. hence, our commitments to others, even if we've just met, must be our highest priority, be treated with the utmost consideration if they are obviously someone who is clearly a part of a nourishing environment.
   You wouldn't no-show a doctor's appointment, nor should you no-show a woman who feeds your spirit and soul's development.