The Shedding of skins

    I've diverted from completing my journey through "The Rest of the Story" entries and it turned out to be for a very good reason.
    On my second experience with Maine I learned something. I was moved to draw a picture of my figurative self, with the spirits I had worked with over the preceding years by my side. I gave that picture to a young woman. I intuitively understood I was leaving the person I had become behind and bestowing it on her. Further evidence of this was after did this, her mother began speaking like I had, responding to her daughter as I would have mine. I could hear and see me in her. As authority over her daughter, she had claimed my 'skin' for herself. Her daughter can claim it when she is ready, I'm sure...and it will be awesome! She is a physically disabled young woman with great potential to heal that which is an inherited generational disability/dis-figuration of the leg.
   From then until now I have been embodying a more independent woman, no longer a victim and learning to walk as a sovereign being in full oneness within herself. After 4 years of no intimate relationships other than with my children, I had finally invited in the experience of more intimate relationships outside the home; community, female friends and romantic with men. I was still solitary in controlling resources, being independent. I have been embodying an empowered woman, respected. With each "no thank you" comes a replacement with that which is closer to what I want in an intimate partner. Greater and greater self awareness, respect and appreciation in each man I "go through".
   This latest was profound. Spiritually active and creative, very self determined. He actually offered to legally give me rights to a piece of land as part of a sort of "live-in pre-nuptial agreement" to guarantee that if things did not work out, I would not be left without resources because where we'd be living at, I would not be able to obtain resources for myself. I would be giving up a job and affordable housing to live a life with him and he understood that. While it's not going to work out because he is not as willing to make the same acknowledgement of emotional responsibility in a relationship, something new was given me to embody. And with the introduction of that new picture of who I could be, the single career mom is shedding and the one upon who it shall be bestowed is already chosen. She is dynamite! With this embodiment comes my resonance with what I always dreamed of having. Everything. And my embodiment of it will draw the right man able to be emotionally responsible AND understanding a woman's position. I cannot wait to meet him!

Me and MY Vegetarianism

  So, an interaction came which allowed me to more boldly examine my reasons for being a vegetarian. Love and acceptance will do that, FWI. (yes, it's the cowboy thing, stop watching me blush, get your own cuteness, focus!focus! heehee) A bit of word wandering through my thoughtscape.....
  I am a mother. I give up parts of my body with love and affection, joy and pleasure in the doing. To take leaves, seeds, nuts, beans, fruit from plants, bushes and trees feels alot like that to me. A partaking of a part of the body that is also a part of the consciousness of our mother, the Earth, is like partaking of her milk in my perceptual workings. I know not everything we eat in the grocery store is so "humanely" harvested, leaving the body of a plant to continue it's full life cycle. It's the best I can do without land of my own and the green thumb to nurture it.
  I was purely vegan for a while and then circumstances came that did not facilitate it so I considered adding dairy. As I felt whether or not adding cheese to my diet would be appropriate for me, I was completely enveloped in love. It was profound and immediate. Animals WILL nurture us from their bodies in all the love, joy and pleasure I would do the same with my own children for. I know not every dairy product in the grocery store is humanely created. It's the best I can do without a yurt and tribe with which to follow a herd of goats or cattle around.
  I, in myself, came to the result that we exist for the pure engagement and joy of it. When life stops becoming engaging for us, we die, we give up on it. We're just another plant, animal, mineral with senses that relish our environment and in that relishing, we send appreciation into the Earth from which we come and she shares in that with us. If the Earth needs anything right now, it's a relishing in her qualities and textures.
  So, I ask myself, I ask nature, mother, animals (this is not an "You should all ask or we should all ask", it really is purely me asking): why would you give your breath for mine? Why are my eyes worth ending your own pair's use to the mother? Does your skin relish in the elements less than mine? I think "hardly, we humans spend more time fretting than relishing anything really".
  Things such as a young deer leaping out in front of me, looking at me squarely, then leaping back and forth in a clear invitation to chase......is not the joyful vibration in those hooves hitting the Earth's surface engaging to and delightful for her? Can't we stop at making it a game of tag, maybe at worst a playful tackle instead of an arrow in the side or bullet to the head? We can take each other's breath away without ending our ability to breath another day. Is my moody breath worth ending your joyful one so much more in tune with the elements? Why would you put my life above yours?
  And frankly, I know breathairianism is real. So, in truth, eating is not needed for my life to continue. You're not giving your life to preserve mine. I only eat as much as I do instead of simply tastes here and there for the communal pleasure of it because I smoke and when I smoke, I drink fluids to keep my throat hydrated. The fluids drown my digestive system so I eat food to absorb them...a whole chain reaction. I have felt my system kick in, a burst of energy go to my stomach from the core of my being when it began to feel hunger and then immense peace. I was burning the energy I myself was generating. My digestive system died completely the last time I was in Maine and when it came back online, it was functioning very differently, a new system completely. Not everyone who has become breatharian has had to experience that extreme of a change. I was raised in an extreme that did not facilitate the transition. Others transition much more gently.
  As for other people; they believe their lives depend upon eating, especially meat and whether or not animals are giving up their lives to sustain the human's, well that's between them and them (human and animal). Who am I to determine permission? Don't make me, I won't like it! To some it's a holiest of communions, being a part of the circle of life. I've killed enough sacred cows in my time, I don't need to go around murdering everyone else's. Don't make me responsible for killing yours. I won't like it!
  I'm just putting myself out there because doing so is engaging ;) And maybe someone else could use it as a "you're not alone, you're not crazy".
  The biggest determining factor before these questions came was when a neighbor said she was going fishing and she'd leave a fish from her catch in a bucket of water downhill from my camp. I prayed she wouldn't. That would mean I'd have to kill it. I'd been fishing before and the idea of decapitating that fish.....I just couldn't do it! ones crunching....cringe! Too many horror movies! If I couldn't do the the killing, how could I do the partaking? I have had fish as pets and those darn things would follow us from one end of the tank to the other. They nibbled our fingers and let us pet them if we stuck our fingers in. They're quite the little characters! They'd group up in the corner of the tank closest to where my children would be playing and watch for hours. I swear, they were more doting than I was! I've had similar interactions with fish in ponds when swimming. And now I am to cut off a head and watch a body flop around in shock? I just couldn't do it.
  I've had a pet rabbit that would play 'fetch' with one of our pet cats. There is no natural law that governs "predators" absolutely. The longest living pet dog was fed a vegan diet...seriously. I've had a skunk put it's front feet up between mine on a step and just brightly look at me one night before it did it's skunky waddle off. The neighbors who were gun-toting hunters with an obnoxious dog that barked threateningly at everything...well those skunks backed right up to their screen door and sprayed right into their house another evening. You're telling me animals don't respond according to our personalities? lol The next day when the hunters were moving their shed boasting about how they knew that skunk nest was under there and they were going to shoot 'em...guns aimed as the shed moved....yeah, I just watched entertained, not giving up that I knew exactly where the skunks lived and it weren't there! *mischievous grin* Animals are enchanted with us completely (either that or we're just the biggest, freakiest show in the circus....wouldn't blame them , there, really lol). That scene in the movie "Babe" where all the animals are watching the man dance for the pig through the window.....not an exaggeration, in my experience, I swear. And the mother even loves her little ticks. seriously. I camped out in someone's lawn for a night. Woke up with a whole herd of the little critters nestled in on me. As I saw them I was completely enveloped in love, felt just like I did when breast feeding my children. "I know you're enjoying this", I said the the mother, "but I am not, so they're going to have to go with what they've already sucked out of me" and I painstakingly removed the things. sheesh! creepy! but true and adored by the mother of all. If you took one of my children from my breast, cut off it's head and ate it, I wouldn't feel like a part of the circle of love. I can guarantee it! Though I know if it was some requirement, the mother would fill me with that love that feels nothing but it's warmth instead. When I came down from that manipulation, I wouldn't be happy with anybody, however, I can tell ya that! You'd have to keep me perpetually wrapped in it until the day of my last breath!
  So, obviously not everyone has the experiences I do of animals and thus I am fully aware my choices are my own, for me only. I don't even decide for my own children, who do eat meat, knowing where it comes from exactly. I don't feel condemned by them and they don't feel condemned by me. I like to think I can have the same nature of relationship with the entire human community. For those who don't find that possible with me, well, let's just say, it's an honor to be found so engaging and thus life affirming ;)
  Oh, and yes, population control: research has shown that animals NOT under duress reproduce less. So, overpopulation is due to stress. Instead of killing, a less traumatic relationship within creation solves that problem, I haven't any more questions.

When you enter a field.....

  It may appear that you have been delivered to a town/place as a victim, as one in need. It could be, in fact, that the place has been delivered instead unto you. Every community is a field in which seeds can be planted, plants can be watered and from which fruit can be eaten. How we arrive there does not necessarily govern the role we are to play there.
   And when we enter a field...do not be deceived about where the governing spirit may reside. It is not always in the selectman's home or governor's mansion. No. The governing spirit of a place can be residing in the temple which gets drunk every day and sleeps in the park. From there, it sees all things, the true heart of a community. If it is treated poorly, it may fly from it's abode in the vessel in the park to posses the selectman, the governor, to enact more confining laws upon the community and then go get drunk and enjoy the chaos it has created in vengeance for the way it was treated.
   One will often find that where the poorest are treated badly, the heavier the taxes and the more controlling the laws governing. One might find that the kinder and more generous the community is with the "lowest" of themselves, the less governing the authorities.
  No, not everything is necessarily what it seems. The "neediest" may be the wisest able to deliver the average population from under mountains of conditioning: familial, societal, social. How much we are able to deliver others from under depends on the mountains we have moved from upon/within ourselves.
  You may be the shepard in any given moment, and in any given moment, you may be a part of the field.

Take a page from the book of Job

I see alot lately of posts being shared on Face Book that are affirmations about god having their back, god taking care of their enemies, etc. "Breakthrough" is a big seller. It's all a bunch of brainwashing, the attempt to brainwash one's self, the technique peddled by those who want money or notoriety. It results in a momentary high with an "amen!" and then it's back to complaining about a shitty life, who is and is not good to them, etc.
  A true breakthrough only comes when one can take a page out the script of the bible book of Job. I'll sum the book up in human terms for ya:
   Satan seduces god into a cock-waving competition. The wave of god's cock= Job. The wave of Satan's cock=the suffering he can cause Job.
  Now, Job does all the mental exercises those doing their own self brainwashing with affirmations are doing (and yes, I did myself at one time). They are finding ways to justify what is happening to them. The false comforters are doing the same for Job (as the spiritual hustlers are doing in selling their statements of affirmation and declarations). Eventually Job gets a strong sense of self that is indisputable. He justifies himself and demands god do the same. Yes, god huffs and puffs and bluffs then acknowledges Job's position with action: restoration of all Job had lost. We all know those kinds of people: they will not acknowledge your being right with their words (their ego is too fragile and will not admit to being wrong), but they will do what is needed of them because it is the right thing to do. God admitted he could not justify his actions (or lack of them on Job's behalf) in action, if not in words. Neither god nor Satan won that cock-waving contest. Job did. The end.
   So, what would it look like to be like Job in this day and age, in plain English language? Number one: we all know pissing contests are absurdly immature. Too many of these affirmations are a "god has my back not yours" pissing contest. Drop them. If all your misery is what god having your back looks like......call him on it. Seriously. "You're doing a piss poor job of showing me you have my back!"  If you're a man: "Hey, hypocrite! You made me in your image. If you're finding fault in my choices, you're not liking to look in the mirror, it's about time you got over it and changed yourself, not me! I cannot help how you made me!" If you're a woman, fire away with glee: "You didn't like what you saw and made me to be what you were lacking as you saw fit according to your mirror-the man you made in your image. You need ME! Stop treating me as if I am less than the answer to YOUR prayers, baby!". Seriously. Stop taking the blame and making excuses for your own state of being and affairs. "Hey, god, people are smart enough to not expect an infant to go out, get a job and feed themselves: I can't be expected to be or do anything more than what you gave me to be!" (I'd add 'retard!' to the end of that, but that's just the level of 'irreverent' I can be.....and it worked for me. Not kidding). Wait for the huff and puff and bluff to pass then walk on with your head held high, because your restoration is coming and everything that happens to you from that point is there to take you into that restoration. Call god on his bullshit, make your own breakthrough and then prepare for real miracles to happen. Argue for and assert your innocence to every thought, demon and human being who comes at you with accusations of being anything less than the answer to god's prayers and/or his own perfect creation.
After being inspired to write this, I happened to then come across someone else with a similar approach (take what serves and leave the rest as in all we watch, hear or read- but woohoo! synchronicity! I am on the right path, babies):
Matt Kahn, spiritual gangsta

Why I don't keep pets or want to be with someone who does

  I am not an animal rights activist. You won't find animal cruelty posts on my fb timeline. You won't see me harassing neighbors who keep pets or even hear me stating these things on a regular basis. I pet and comfort pets when approached. I speak to them, out loud and telepathically. My best friend growing up was my horse. There are going to be wondrous, unexpected interactions between animals and people. This is not here to judge or condemn anyone. This here just for those who sincerely, reflectively want to know.  
 Someone said that as a healer I should acknowledge the healing quality of keeping pets for some people. As if I was a hypocrite to call myself a healer and not want to be intimately involved with one who keeps pets. Number one, I identified as a healer who decided to heal herself. So, obviously, I do not believe in using other conscious beings for this. Number 2 is where it gets ugly, but as the shaman who had to draw a ship in the sand before the rest of the tribe could see the literal, physical ship causing the strange waves off shore........I'm going to have to be the one to draw the picture here.
    The adult dog has the emotional and mental intelligence of a 3 month old wolf. One is placing all their burdens upon and seeking relief from an infant. One might go so far as call this emotional bestiality...a violation of one of a different species without the capacity to know better, such as a child or mentally hand-capped individual. Would you go stroke your disease into a small, mentally handicapped child to relieve yourself of your own discomfort?
    Animals love me, warm up to me as they would not to most, even domesticated ones. That does not mean I want any part of keeping them.  Most of them are suffering the anxiety, nervous conditions, stress, insecurities of the energetic fields of the people they live with. They're bat-shit crazy from confinement. Their physical ailments are horrifying, cancerous growths, etc. as they absorb the energetic diseases of the people they live with. Stockholm syndrome is intentionally created to keep them. Keepers of pets are quite possibly energetic vampires.
    If you walked down a road and people began yelling threats from their yards, they'd be considered insane for sure. And yet, when one walks down the average street, dogs behind fences, from within houses and on leashes bark up storms at non-threatening people walking by. Why is this insanity not recognized?
    It is said; if one likes a flower, they pick it and bring it home. If someone loves a flower they leave it in the field to grow, live it's longest, fullest life. The same can be said for animals and people.

Of The Gods and Goddesses

  According to Abrahamic traditions (Jewish, Muslim, Christian), a horde of gods came upon a watery womb in which a planet was encapsulated, whose consciousness was so supremely subtle, they did not register it. They declared it uninhabited, formless, a waste land. These gods then invaded this watery womb, disfigured the planet within it, raping it and prematurely drawing 'children' from it. They called this good. One god waged war on the other gods who lured his child of rape and premature birth, He also  waged war on these children who he created in his own image and did not like what he saw in this mirror (this man made in his image, who he felt was lacking and so created woman). In doing so, he became the oppressor of all other gods and goddesses and declared himself the only god. This has been repeated through the ages and generations: to disfigure that which is not perceived/understood and the waging of war upon our own reflections as embodied by other beings. The disfigurement of women, of ripping unborn children from the womb in those wars is in imitation declared "good".  Rape is "good"; of the Earth and others.
  Then a funny thing happened. As gods are known to do, the human female caught this self declared almighty god's attention, even though he condemned the other gods for doing this. Spirits from deep within the Earth whose consciousness could not be picked up by this god's radar became one with human woman whose attention this god had. She was to be his. Instead, she expressed the subtleties he could not connect, always doing the unexpected and being blessed and protected by that which he could not perceive existed. The existence of that which he could not see could no longer be denied and he began to bow to it's mastery. The deaf god began to hear the whisper upon the wind. He began to understand and see where it had been weaving it's self in and around him from the beginning. He raised that consciousness up into the heavens, making it known and recognized on every level of them. He began to recognize it's voice in him and he begged for a burning, a destroying of himself as he was. He set that new queen back upon the Earth as the foretold "New Jerusalem", which, it turned out, 'she' had prophesied through his own "mouth" would come to be, It is beginning to be embodied by the women capable of it, to be the dominant energy upon the Earth.
  All qualities of the divine are limitless and that includes, anger, strife, etc. There will be pockets of them always in existence, living and dying perpetually, outside of this "new city". The pockets of upset will be held in place, unable to feed upon or attack or effect the 'New Jerusalem" state of being, which also must exist as a perpetual expression of the divine qualities of wholeness. I have been given to see how this could be without walls or wars. The example given was vampires. If the vampire were to drink the blood of one not of their designated tribe in their pocket of existence, that blood would poison them. A divine thirst for blood in it's perfection would be endless and thus require it's own perpetual existence. The dominance of disfigurement, rape and consumption will end without complete destruction because it, too is of divine origins. And the light will always have it's contrast to show that it is indeed light.
    Your god is not merely a different perception of my god. It is a mistake to believe all religions are merely expressions of one god. We resist the death of the surface of this planet and the "life" upon it, while not recognizing that most of it was born of trauma and that which is born of trauma will tend to be traumatic. The Earth, now recognized and respected will determine what her surface looks like and which children she will birth. "Native" "Aboriginal" people whose "knowledge of her" came from the stars........that knowledge was void of her own consciousness in the majority of it and so is not accurate. It, too is a product of traumatic natures visited upon the Earth. That is why she gave them the prophesy of a new tribe to replace them, one of her own making out of those she specifically has chosen out of all the tribes and nations. The black snake is hers and wouldn't be allowed to be taken to kill off the abominations if she did not allow it. Amazing how people of "faith" who believe all things came out of this Jesus being could believe something is not born of the divine, that it can disown credit for it,as if it was not one of it's own aspects coming into form and that a consciousness as powerful as the Earth herself would be helpless against men bent on destroying things.
   Everything is in order, happening for a reason and the Earth is just fine.

Moving from anger to wrath......

     Jesus, in oneness with god, was recorded as saying "I do not judge, but when I do, my judgement is true". The same can be applied to self-protection, our sense of self-worth; "I do not get angry, but when I do, my wrath is true/appropriate". Really no anger is inappropriate. It is showing us our triggers, where we are not being true to ourselves and thus being exposed. In that case, it's on us and we wouldn't want to be taking it out on anybody else. Then there are real infringements that need addressing. When living authentically, the only thing left is wrath at real infringements and usually it's just the signal to the universe that there is no doubt within us that we are ready to be released from limitations. The infringement is merely a question, the answer a conviction so strong it comes out as wrathful.
  I have feared this aspect of our full spectrum, and rightfully so, probably. I grew up on the receiving end of two very volatile parents and a volatile brother 9 months younger but physically much bigger. Anger=abuse and so I never felt safe amidst confrontation with anger, theirs or mine. Even a voice bold with conviction and clear direction would make me cry. The only time anyone in my experience became sure of what they were going to do, it was when they overcame self-control to attack me violently. I didn't want to do that to anyone else...ever.
  Add to that "supernatural interference", which I now recognize as my portion of wrath acting separately from me. When one of my brother's friends crossed the line in bullying me on the school bus, hitting me square between the eyes with a pencil he flung at me, I stood up in all my wrath and declared while looking him straight in the eye, "I wish you were dead". He was hit by a car and killed when running across the road in a game of tag not long after.
   When in high school a new girl came into town from New York. From small countryside town perspective, it was obvious she was badass and I steered clear of her.For some reason she became focused on me and ganged up with other girls who did not like me. One of them had a court date where she was going to be let off parole or something. They had vowed they were going straight from that court room to hunting me down and killing me. They never made it to the court hearing, they were decapitated in a car accident on their way there.
  There were the times when "wrath" had to take me out to see to it's business. I had come to fear being provoked well and good by the time I was dating a guy over 6 1/2 ft tall, well muscled and spoiled first-born Italian son, He exuded privilege and knew he could get away with anything. We were at a party and he was using other girls to make me jealous, humiliate me. Finally, walking into the house, he let the door slam in my face as I walked in behind him after he had held it open for them. I felt humiliated and don't remember a damn thing until the next day when his mother was secretly thanking me. Apparently, I had snapped his leg at the knee so bad he could touch his toes to his nose without lifting his upper leg---unhinged completely.
   The other time wrath put me in the back seat was when my brother's friend, a busty, arrogant red-head decided to make me her target. She shoved me, shoved me again and then went to swing. I don't remember anything from there until I woke up on top of her punching her in the face and I looked on in horror. "Let go of my hair, I don't want to be doing this to you!" I yelled at her. She let go and ran from there.
   It was after those "blackouts" I began to cling to my consciousness determinedly. I did not like not remembering. I became a consciousness self-control freak and people pleaser, more than I was already. This kept my wrath separate from me. Being separated made my wrath angry at me. I did not know what it was then because I was used to anger coming from my parents. This time was clearly "supernaturally fueled", however; my father had moved into an apartment and I had gone to stay with him. He was the lesser of two evils between my parents at that point. I had come home from a dance at school with my boyfriend and friends. My father was passed out drunk on the couch, so I said good night and tried to sneak past him to my room. You learn not to wake a sleeping drunk, even if you mad eit home before curfew. Before my friends could leave and before I could sneak past the couch, my father leapt up over the back of the couch from a dead sleep. He grabbed me up off my feet one-handed and began to toss me like a rag doll against the walls. When he stopped for a minute to tell my friends to leave and send me to my room, I told my boyfriend to go out back and wait for me. I ran up to my room, barricaded the door and jumped out the second story window through a snowstorm and into my boyfriend's arms. Disembodied wrath WILL haunt you. Even college educated psychologists will tell you a teenager's repressed aspects will manifest as poltergeists and shit (I took a psychology class in college, so that's how I know).  When I returned to my room the next day when I knew he'd be out, it was trashed. He had broken the door down and tossed furniture when he couldn't find me. I went back to stay with my mother.
   Now I can see my wrath was appropriate and brought me no harm when I did embody it. I remember when there were no negative consequences for it. There was the time I was waitressing and my butt got grabbed. I swung as I turned only to hit my boss square across the face. I was horrified, but he did apologize and did not fire me.
  I began to come to terms with my portion of wrath a few years ago. It seems it has a thing with heads. Guy who kidnapped me? Skull cracked open after I escaped from him in some kind of hillbilly sled behind a four wheeler fun stunt. He's walking around not quite right in the head ever since-worse than before he did that to me. Lover who betrayed me? Cracked upside the head and sent to the hospital after I told him not to come back. He had become protective of a young street woman and her drug dealer was used to 'knock some sense' into him. He also got charged for rape when he tried to help out another woman.
   I only consciously summoned my disembodied wrath once as "Arch Angel Michael" after I felt "the hand of god" slam down and demand a stop to the taking of children from me. A neighbor who coveted my ability to bear children chose to lie in court about me. No doubt my ex promised he'd be paying her for giving riding lessons to the children he would be able to take from me for years to come if she did this. (She did similar previously in another matter, so it is informed understanding of her charector, not a wild guess). When I lit that candle in the ritual to summon Arch Angel Michael with the request for vengeance, I did not put a label on that vengeance before I saw the dark form emerge from the flame of the candle like smoke, I just trusted "he" would know what was appropriate.As horrified as I was by the idea, I see now that it was just: her "children" for mine. She couldn't have babies at that time, so her horses were her children. She lost some in  a barn fire. Shortly after losing her "children", her husband divorced her. Some would think the outward appearance of her life now is better; "none the worse for wear", but she is in fact trapped in a marriage as sadistic as the relationship I had left with a man as manipulative and controlling as the one she aided and abetted in robbing me of two of my children.
   I know none of this is my imagination, hallucination or some sort of insanity. The clearest, most obvious evidence given me was my interactions with a "believing" woman I shared living space with for a time. She would marvel openly at how while we'd be having conversations about spiritual things, she could see it in my eyes when divinely originated words came through me with concepts I did not know until the moment I was speaking them. She had been making a hard time for me on many fronts, but the one in particular that humiliated me was my digestive issues I was then experiencing. As we spoke and she apologized to me I felt the heat rise in me, even though I was accepting the apology. She saw that light in my eyes as I spoke of what she had visited upon me would be visited upon her as she suffered digestive issues even worse than mine. She said it felt like I was cursing her. No, not a curse. It was "divine wrath" speaking a foreboding fact prophetically.
  To sum it up, after reviewing all this, I have come to understand that we are given qualities of the divine/universe/all that is, in equal measure. With larger capacities for being a vessel of immense love, profound understanding, sharp emotional and intellectual intelligence, crystal clear, highly intuitive 'psychic' senses..... the matching capacity for self worth, which we might call wrath when it is infringed upon, is included. This self worth in the form of wrath is not a "warning" being issued. It is the known fact that what has been visited upon the divine as it is expressing it's self in a vessel will be visited upon the infringer of that self worth in equal or greater measure (it gains momentum as it travels and the energy portion of self worth triggered in the infringed upon is added to the energy of that which did the offending). All this is allowed to occur for the shaping of the vessels. Most are only sorry because intellectually they know they've done wrong according to their conditioning or because they do not like the results of their actions; had something taken from them they wanted or are experiencing pain.The only true knowing that one has done wrong is to be aware of that wrong being visited upon them in return. The only true "sorry" is to acknowledge and accept and allow without resistance this lesson to come upon them. One must willingly and consciously walk in the other's shoes, finding love and appreciation  for the one who wore them before you. It is to acknowledge the perspective they may have gotten from that infringement, even if it is not the one you took from the circumstances. To be sorry is to "see" clearly and widely with love and appreciation for the one whose self worth we have infringed. "Sorry" is a joy to be had rather than a "sorrow"/sadness to be embodied.
  "This is the word that goes out and does not return until it is fulfilled, visited upon generation after generation until a vessel comes forth in which true 'sorrow' is embodied". "This means the speaking of these perspective to each other"
  Our job in all this is to allow ourselves to embody fully our self worth with proper boundaries in appropriate places, giving/allowing ourselves appropriate circumstances as an expression of self-respect so that our self-worth is not violated/infringed upon,..... made wrathful unnecessarily.