New Job, Object lessons ending, new masculine for me

   How's the new job going? I can't tell you, chuckling softly to me. I had become brave and bold, using myself as an object lesson which people found inspiring, an example worth following, a living illustration to convey understanding. Now all that is changing as I face some of the most challenging territory...to be that which I saw was needed when I needed someone like me. Due to confidentiality I can share no details. Even vague references may be too revealing, as I learned on the cab ride this evening. In answering my children's questions, I told them I would be doing so-and-so's job this evening. The cab driver, overhearing, said "Oh, you'll be being dropped off (there) then". Yes, indeed, extreme discretion..I'll have to be highly aware of my conversations. No numbers involved for one could overhear "4 children", know someone who has left an abuser with 4 children and then divulge through a gossip chain just where that party is. So, off I go where you can no longer see all the steps I am taking. I am no longer an object lesson, but an epitome of discretion.
  I am rejoicing how my children not only have playmates outside most days, but even have company come in! The still inner wildling I noticed when we first moved in happens to be one of those new friends. We are in very good company!
  As I reflected and wished this evening a "smell" came wafting to me, of a man who would let me sleep and wake me when I needed,one who was actively supportive of the work I am choosing. I was given to know it is an aspect of me, of course, that has already been there to wake me usually an hour before something comes into my reality I would want to be be awake and fully conscious for. This would be the one responsible for the etheric knocks that wake me, the etheric phone ringing to let me know someone else needs my attention. I am a truly blessed being to be so loved romantically, supportively, nurturingly, one truly interested in me, what I am doing, how I am doing, what I would be wanting and what I am needing. If that is what my inner masculine has become so fully to me, indeed my outer reality will manifest a physical one for me, now that I can "smell" and "see" and feel it so clearly. That's pretty exciting. Now for the recognizing and accepting, lol