Moshing out the memes

  I was reminded to day of a period of severe trial a few years back. My human component was wondering "WTF?!" and wanting out. One evening a sense of someone coming for a spirit in me to inform 'her' time in the circumstances was up. She was resistant. "But I was learning so much!". Of course my human component was like "No! Shut up!". "Why do I have to go?", the spirit asked. "So you don't have more reason to boast than others". "I don't boast!" and I got the subtle sense of an occasion of excited sharing. "Oh," she said.
  The shifts are getting harder and harder on my body; the aches, the exhaustion, the buzzing of energy being resisted in it's systems. I began to see the connection.
   It is "unlady-like" to "over achieve". It is "unlady-like" to rejoice in one's successes as enthusiastically as a man who just scored a goal on the field.
  The urge to slam my body up against things began with my feet and I felt strength and energy clearing in my knees as I stomped "aggressively". My room became my mosh pit, the walls and furniture for slamming my head against symbolically mostly, not causing it or me any damage. It's not my property or that might have been different, lol
   I am eager at approaching things with grand visions I CAN achieve and enthusiastic in my self expression, passionate in it's conveyance. I had been repressing this so as to be more pleasing to society and less intimidating to men. I've been repressing power within me. This has been changing, thankfully.
   Breaking through without breaking anything this evening;)