The scapegoat theme of my experience

 I got to thinking how it is I who has been suffering and spent the past ten years exiled "in the wilderness" due to everyone else in my environment being incapable of taking responsibility for their own emotions and thus choices based upon them. From there I realized I had been a scapegoat. I thought of the biblical example, where the definition of scapegoat came from and almost went into a panic. I wondered, "The scapegoat isn't supposed to return is it? Did I make the wrong decision spiritually? Was I misled by my own desire for my children?". So, I did a quick search for the scripture. Relief! True, the man called Jesus would have been the metaphorical scapegoat for the Isrealite people. He does return to the benefit of the whole community. Then it dawned on me; is that why God had me go through this, to make me, in the end, a source of healing for my community?". Wow. Me? I am nothing to anybody. But it was given to me today to discern how we are each absolutely critical in eachother's experience, those of us who make up a community. My neighbor cannot be replaced by just anybody. Not just anybody would have her perspective, her experiences to draw them off of, her temperment, etc. We are each uniquely developed incorporating a personality with a set of circumstances and resulting experiences of those circumstances viewed from that personality. No one can replace me. I cannot replace anyone else who is given me to experience. They are each unique and important to who I am and what I am doing. I can love everybody and everybody can love me.
reference I read concerning scapegoat:
 *Jewish sacrificial tradition Leviticus 16
http://www.israelofgod.org/azazel.htm

   Then I got to thinking, how WOULD a community react to their scapegoat returning. I remembered reading how it became Jewish tradition to yell curses at, throw stones, and spit on the scapegoat as they chased it out into the wilderness. Just the mere presence of that scapegoat upon returning would be a reminder of all the sins they had laid upon it. It's wounds evidence condemning them of their treatment of it and it's suffering out in the wilderness where they had sent it defenseless against wild beasts. They would not give it a chance to demonstrate any healing it might have brought back with it if they could not even bear to look at it. They would not hear what it was saying, they would have their ears closed to any meaning, allowing themselves only to hear piercing, meaningless, bleating. No the return of the scapegoat would not be eagerly received.