We're all heros of our own stories

It's a funny thing; I went to the bank to open an account. I learned if I ever want to be reminded of what vehicle I drove for six months twenty years ago, I need only ask a banker. They have it all stored up in their computers programmed to keep track of everything I have ever done financially, everyone to whom I am related, everywhere I have ever lived and everything of value I have owned.
  Whilst going through the process of opening an account, the bank employee explained the purpose of the penny deposit recorded and holding place as "account balance" while the ten day waiting period was in play. "But we'll be taking that penny back", she explained, "a penny seems like nothing important, but with millions of accounts, that's millions of pennies." I was astounded. True, for poor folk that is a profound amount of money, I imagine. However for a bank managing trillions, their million pennies is the single penny of the poor folk. We wouldn't sweep the floor looking for it and we would happily give it away.
  It is mind blowing to see the various sides of the stories we are living. I myself think keeping of such records tedious and creepy. I could shout indignantly "I am in the now moment and that is all unneccsary and irrelevent!".  I could come from another angle and scream "Violation of privacy!". Or I can come from the perspective of the banker; "We need the security!". As for the pennies, we could be like the banker saving every one of them, frugality a priority because they do indeed add up or we can be like the indignant poor person and declare it petty.
  Even more mind blowing in being given this awareness is that in every perspective, in every story, the teller of it is playing the hero. The banker saving us and themselves from "thieves", the indignant person saving us from "unrighteousness", and the "now moment" person liberating us from limitations. Each teller of their story is the also the nemisis of the other teller of the other story. Every story has a hero which needs a victim to be saving and a nemisis from which to save the victim. Every single one of us is all three of these things, depending upon who is telling the story and who is defining the charectors. Justification and charectorization all occur within our own heads. Our 'heads' are primarily given us by parents, teachers, friends, etc. until or unless we break out, "become divergent", and begin to tell our own. As a "divergent" we tell a story, even if it is created ourselves. Further still, we cannot control what role we shall play in another's story, controlling their perspective unless we master the ability to influence.
   Being aware of all this, I ask the question: "Is it possible to live a story that has no hero, perpetrator or victim?". The answer comes: "we are already living it, we simply aren't aware of it because the majority are simply animals doing what we're given to do seeing ourselves in a role of a story."  Oh. We are all three and yet none of them in essence.
  It never feels good to be perpetrator or victim, so most of us find a perspective in our heads that paint us to ourselves as hero and then recruit others who are willing to share that perspective of our animal actions which we are given to do. If we simply do what we are given to do and choosing a better feeling perspective are we still not victim of that which is giving us that which we are given to do? Does it not imply a puppet master at the root? Most would say that puppet master is god, whether a seperate all-knowing, almighty entity or an expanded aspect of ourselves. So what drives "it"? Desire? Animalistic urges of it's self defining perpetrator, hero and victim in it's own head for it's own feel good of self? The story that never ends you just have to go along with, made easier for all involved if we bypass judgement(characterization) and make none of it personal......though for some unconscious oblivion feels easier.
  It is a curious thing to have become the unravelor of stories without realizing fully what I was becoming. In unraveling my own, I unravel those of others involved in my own. It brought me relief, compassion for victim, hero and villain all alike except for in their own minds. It has brought others similar relief and compassion. To some it's a damn pestilence of demonic perportions. To most a non-sensicle annoyance interfering with the story they're bent on living. All just animals doing as given, some with more conscious awareness of what we're doing than others according to 'gifts' we're born with or given.
  So, what does one do with this awareness? What is the story I shall now begin living? Having unconsciously played every role, I am aware I can be any one of them in any given moment dependent upon perspective. I can play into others or invite others to play into my own. I could manipulate others to play into my own with influences like intimidation and manipulation of their perspective..... creepy feeling. I could do any of it in any given moment. Invitation to play is the best feeling and equally as "narcissistic" as manipulating for the "feels good" drive is self interested motivation. If I truly respected others, I would allow them to feel bad about their participation if they are choosing the "feel bad" story experience, consciously or unconsciously.  I could set limits and conditions such as "you can only feel bad if consciously choosing a 'feels bad' experience", lol......requiring 'informed consent' to participate in my story. That would be a limitation upon myself and others who may want to unconsciously participate or come in unconscious to be awakened/made conscious. Why even consider any of it? Because I care about hurting others and isn't caring just as selfish as being inconsiderate? Most of us are unconscious of our inconsideration, lol. Even inconsiderate people when pressed would be surprised and reveal that they do care. In the end is all this preponderance only of entertainment value? To me, it is a gift demonstrating to me not only is it clear and easy for me to follow (which means my mind is clear), but it is not at all frustrating or stressful (which means an absence of resistance to any of it-loss of fear and judgement that goes with it which means I shall not be judged....I shall be having fun!). It feels almost wicked to be so conscious and aware of all this.......'seeing' what one is not 'supposed to see', to have broken free of the illusion divine influences were given to keep in check. Those divine influences being out of work and without their defined purpose....freedom or condemnation to purposeless existence, depending upon their perspective, I would imagine. "She blew up the system of her experience!". "Burn, baby, burn", she says of it; part nurturing mother, part of anarchist bent, part the excited child about to experience a new beginning. Not only can we be any one thing in any given moment, we can be a bit of each for we are multi-faceted: what mother was not also a daughter and lover? What father was not also son and 'husband'?  What friend has not played enemy of a plan you were making and which enemy has not played friend to the hand you were playing?
   While I find this extremely relaxing, some will have not even read this far, giving up in frustration, confusion, pain and judgement. Some will have read this far but with a sadistic bent, still seeking vengence for their 'unacknowledged wisdom' in seeing all this. Then one in every crowd will 'get' the delightful, playful, open, ease resulting energy procured from proccessing this perspective. I am grateful for the days of isolation during this transition, for in practice amidst daily experience of it out in general public, it can be overwhelming. Go to the store where I do not have enough money for the ballons for the children to play with during our isolation-----the onwer takes off the charge for the ballons intending for me to return them while I turn and ask the line of men behind us "anyone have a dollar?". The dollar is given by a man with a glint in his eye, the store keeper frustrated to have to add the price back on then trying to count out every penny. Frustrated he says finally "close enough". I choose to direct my focus on the glinty eyed generosity and playful energy of the experience, but the shop keeper's reluctance and frustration creeps in. Empathy and love for the reluctance for when doing bussiness, people are in business mode and forget themselves entirely. especially in this state known for it's poverty. Empathy and love for the part of me hurt by it. Grace and mercy with favor for the playful generosity and innocence........the wave of my future and my intent. May it be granted!