writings as Suttholio: clarifying the divine femine

Clarifying the Divine Feminine

Author: Suttholio

I have a dear male friend who loves women and treats them very much as a traditional 'gentleman' would while out in public. He opens doors, lights cigarettes, buys dinner and drinks, carries bags, listens, and offers compliments freely. I relish that sort of treatment. We all deserve honor, love, support, respect and all that good stuff. This is especially so since getting in touch with my inner Goddess. I described him as above for a friend on a private forum. He then asked, "Is that me?" I never responded. He treats all women as described above, but is especially drawn to Pagan and what he perceives as 'Magical' and/or 'Powerful' women for more intimate interactions. Yes, it's him in general. But when it comes to women he's more intimate with, it is only on the surface and only what he believes he is. What lies underneath when it comes to the `powerful' women he's drawn to, however, is a different story all together and for him to figure out himself. A little help from an insightful friend doesn't hurt, but one must be open to it. In this area he does not want the insight. But, it could be of use to many in any tradition/belief system, and especially to Goddess-inclined, so I present it here.

I do notice that many women do not allow themselves to receive such `gentlemanly' treatment. Such treatment from a man is perceived as dishonoring. "Does he think I can't do that myself?" "How condescending!" Or it is met with insecurity: "This feels awkward, how do I take it?" "I don't deserve this" (which is also interpreted as lack of appreciation by and therefore discouraging to the man being `gentlemanly'). It is very ironic that most of the women I've noticed who have such a negative view of receiving are very drawn to Goddess worship. They are mostly drawn to the Warrior Goddesses. Strength is a gift in the Warrior Goddess. I honor and acknowledge this. I've used it on my path as well. I see a service in taking this to an extreme for many, so I do not dismiss it completely. However, the Divine Feminine energy is also that of receiving: a woman receives a man's seed and creates life. Earth (Gaia, Goddess) receives Spirit (Male, God) and creates physical. So, while the Warrior Goddess energy was important in what we perceive as taking back, being in touch with, feminine power, if we stay there in aggression mode/do mode, we stagnate, become sour, and fail to take on the balancing energy of receiving.

I've noticed many stuck in the warrioress energies and they are prickly. I even acknowledge I was once one of them for a time. There are few interactions one stuck in these energies have or observe on any topic that are not perceived as an attack, reason to launch an attack or at least some form of action. Any conversation they have becomes a discussion of wrongs committed and why action needs to be taken. They'll degrade men, even though they have husbands or significant others. Obviously the man involved

has

his own self-worth issues, but so many Pagan or Goddess-inclined women complain about lack of good men. When men have been proverbially slapped for giving, is it any wonder many stop? One could view, rather than the taking of power in opening a door, the honoring of a woman's power in such an action. Men in a masculine energy like to give and do for others. They therefore will be drawn to others who are able to receive. They are out there, so if we haven't found any ourselves, we could ask: do I push them away? A man drawn to purely Warrior energies often has low self worth, in which case they are drawn to women who refuse their giving or criticize it and thus support their self perception. So many twists and turns.

There is true power in receiving. With what we receive we create new. If we receive nothing, we have nothing to create with to give back, yes? We receive support and are thus empowered to support. We receive love and thus can give more love. We can receive anger, identify its source (usually fear or frustration) and create whatever is truly needed and/or wanted by the one 'giving' and then give that back from a place of strength/no fear (Warrior). The ability to receive is necessary for continued personal growth, empowerment and change in the world around us. This receiving is not only from a man; it can be from other women, children, Earth and all upon Her. The most powerful receiving comes from within, pure Source/Spirit. If we are not receptive of others, it is very likely we are not being fully receptive of Source/Spirit/God/Goddess. A balance of masculine (giving) and feminine (receiving) in human form is a great creative force whether one is a man or woman, transgendered, heterosexual, gay, bisexual. This discussion is not to say, either, that a woman can never open doors for herself or others, pay for dinner, etc. A woman fully in touch with and expressing her inner Goddess has enough to give and receive. So it also goes for a man in touch with and expressing his inner God - he is able to freely give and receive, reflective and active.

Often men in the Pagan movement or drawn to Warrior Goddess energies misperceive their dislike of being male or their perception of being a victim as being in touch with their feminine side. They are unable to receive love, support and honor themselves; therefore can they really say they are in touch with their Divine Feminine/Goddess? Or do they just share a victim mentality with the women in the Pagan or Goddess energy movements who are there for the same reason? Men who view opening doors as being `@#%$-whipped' or somehow weak also fall into this category. They are not receptive of love, honor, and respect, therefore they are not able to give it. One could reason "I only stopped doing it because women weren't receptive of it". You repressed your true Soul/Divine ex-pression because of another; you gave them your power.

Another thing I often see as perceived by men and women alike as being in touch with one's feminine side is experiencing over-sensitive emotional reactions. They believe that because they feel offense for others, take up other's battles, they are in touch with their feminine side. Being in touch with one's emotions is being in touch with one's self, one's soul; it is neither masculine nor feminine, as much as society labels such as being a womanly trait. Our emotions are our gauge, our inner guidance responding to external or internal experiences. The more extreme the emotional reaction, the more out of balance we are with our Soul and God/Goddess in the matter we are focusing on. Extreme emotional reaction is our hint to change something, usually our perception of the matter first, action second.

This in no way implies that everyone involved in Paganism or Goddess energies has these issues. The world is changing; the roles of men and women are being explored in every culture and religious tradition. There is much enlightenment coming through the Pagan and Goddess energies movements and the growth of it causes others to question, thereby opening and expanding minds. The Goddess is brought into the spotlight and this initiates exploration of the Divine Feminine. The clearer we as individuals are on what the Divine Feminine encompasses, the more clarity we have to offer the world as it turns its attention to the Goddess.

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