Loving the magical being

https://www.youtube.com/attribution_link?a=xMXftRx3J6U&u=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DSK69Tfq-lQ8%26feature%3Dshare

I have trained myself to stop asking "why". Now suddenly the "whys" are coming in like crazy. "Why the Elitist with no appreciation next door?" Because I have denied myself the standing of being the game changer I am while over-compensating with arrogance. Fear. "Why the Heyoka with no appreciation sending a friend request?" I have resented being "Heyoka" and so have not honored it's existence as part of being a game changer. "Why the poser?", because I have only used my 'magical being' as a last line of defense or to establish authority in situations where I wanted someone to go but did not want to give an honest answer as to why. I have no need to explain myself: another practice I have been working on. As for authority, again fear I might be wrong to be correcting a spiritual perspective, that it may not be received well and really, who am I to know anything. I do not have to correct anything for everything exists for a reason and all spiritual practices exist as necessary stepping stones for those making their way up the expansion ladder of consciousness and awareness. I can offer my perspective in response without expectation if inspired to, so long as the "they NEED this because it is right and they are wrong" is not present in my attitude. Sheesh, expansion can be painful, lol And much love, honor, respect and appreciation to my inner magical being who has with held the 'powers' it used to express: levitation, telekinesis, etc for very valid reasons. Blessings, dear one. Take all the time you need. I am not going anywhere.
And it comes to me that I did it all as a teen due to a sense of nobility. I chased away what seemed to me young men too innocent and good and loved and nurtured and treasured and appreciated for me to be anything but bad for them. Misguided nobility is devastating, not just to me, but also to them. I cannot go apologize to them. One of them is dead: hit by a drunk driver when he headed out to come get me after I refused to meet him. His mother called me Easter morning to blame me for the loss of her 'golden one'.