another new beggining

     My experience is this: in the fall of every year I am inundated with spirit conveying spiritual information, like a flame lit up by holy spirit I draw spirits from everywhere. Sprit fills me constantly and searches my brain for that which it can use to most accurately convey what it wants to express. This can be words, illustrations{familiar stories}, or scenerios. The stories can be biblical or even sci-fi/fantasy which I like to read. It is lots of fun and feels like a real creative venture as we work together to convey a story, prophetic or from the past, that needs healing/understanding. To outsiders unfamiliar with the process and only reading what I am writing instead of interacting with me in real life, it would apear I am insane and hold all kinds of crazy beliefs.
     Next comes a period of 'darkness'. All that light flushes out the fears, beliefs, thoughts and feelings that might have been in  my way of true freedom. Some would call these inner demons. Some would call them demons. I just call them trash.
      Then the sweet relief of clarity and the birth of the newest creature I am each spring. Void of the tainted glasses of perceptions, I understand what all those stories mean and chuckle at the illustrations we had come up with. The clarity with which I express plainly stated and quite simply is often rected to with shock and misinterpretation. It is hysterical where people's minds take then perceptually at certain words and phrases. I don't mean to be repellent, but I guess it is all a part of the process of weeding and stumbling. People will believe what they want to believe and if you say the sky is blue, the want to be offended, they will say you told them the sky was evil and we should not breathe. Others get it for a moment but then realize it means they might have to let go of something, they suddenly shut down and want no part of me. Some get it, love it, don't want to practice it, but want the good feelings being round me bring. I have yet to meet anyone who could live with it fully. Some can live with it, but want the trash s well and so ultimately betray or abandon me without realizing what they are doing.
        I spend alot of time alone and love that. I only feel lonely when some physical need is not being met, but it has been awhile since i have been in that situation. I would love to share my daily living with others who could bear to live as I do, as much not  part of the world as possible while still being in it and having to interact with it. I would start a commune, but could not handle having to tell people what to do. I also do not want the spiritually immature needing constant attention and guidence, I will leave the cults to do that dirty work. They have their uses and have even served me well in that respect. Nah, I have been torn way from everything I know and taught by that which I  call God himself. That is biblical, btw: all my shepards have failed and so I myself will teach them. No man, no religion is going to fully teach you what you need to  know. You will never get the whole truth through them. Even the man they call Jesus said none could come to him unless the father drew them. Even he had no say in whom would be chosen. through that man, God prophetically said concerning Peter's response: divine revelation is what he would build his church upon. Notice I said God through the man rather than Jesus himself. I believe Jesus is dead. That which would be ressurrected was the presence of a spirit in a person, born of that person, through which God could express it's self. this spirit is what is called "the son of man" and has not been present in man since it died in Adam and Eve. It was present in the man many call Jesus and in those who experience the "quickening". I believe the ressurrection of this birth of spirit in man is occuring on this, the third day: a day as a thousand yers, a thousand years as a day. That which we call Jesus had to die completely to actually be a sacrifice. He definately left an example worthy of immitation and I mourn the loss of him, a beloved brother i could have had.
         But, like me, previous to my present perceptual circumstances, he did not understand perfectly what was happening in himself nor what he was channeling meant. I have experienced the oneness with the Father as he did and can see where people's confusion comes in. When God is speaking, it says "I am......" and "i do.....", etc. It doesn't announce it's self, except within it's channel it's presence and voice is felt and recognized. It feels like one's self s we have become one in feeling and experience, emotion, and voice, as if it is me, myself.  It feels natural and there is no sharp transition. Only "eyes that see" perceive it. Only certain people notice, observe, and appreciate it. Funny story: Mormon missionary astounded by the abundant presence of Spirit in me, wants me baptized immediately. He is telling me(which was us really) what God would or would not do while I am telling him different. He says he must cut conversation short so he can reflect on why he hears demons laughing at him. It is because he was telling the Father what he would or would not do while the Father Himself was telling him what He was doing, but the missionary didn't "hear" or have the "eyes to see". He wanted to know what I meant by the oneness his Jesus prayed his disciples would experience.
      ooooh, a treat! I finally understand what it means that those destined for the ressurrection(to be given a spirit of their own) are not to be married nor given in marriage but yolked by God. It is the oneness I experience with God but a man would be added to the mix. I would feel his every emotion and share the feeling of his every breath. That is how Adam and Eve were one body and why she would long for her husband after their 'death': God severed their connection in oneness at the same time he severed it with himself, at the death of their immortal spirits through which they experienced oneness with him.  Miracles, etc now occur only when a person receives a substitute spirit, holy spirit, for God to work through, as a vessel, his "bride". Not all anointed with this spirit are the chosen for anything other than an immediate purpose such as prophesy, healing, teaching, scribe, etc. So, yeah, lots of "annointed" out there but it does not mean they won't lose their annointing once their purpose has been achieved, If "chosen", they will lose their annointing and grow their own spirit which God has quickened in them. And only they will fully understand what I mean because understanding it only comes from experience. Others may get the knowledge so they know to glorify the Father rather than the vessel while understanding that worshipping the Father at His presence in a vessel is OK because we all know they are not worshipping the vessel it's self.
            I think the cults come when an annointing has expired and suddenly insecure from a sudden loss of purpose, men grasp at twisted revelations from spirits, good and evil. I've noticed there is definately a universal download program and the interpretation of regular enlightenment is colored by perceptions and beliefs. So, we all get the same information, but convey it according to our own understanding which is colored by many things. For example, this yer's focus ws very much on feminine and the feminists immediately ressurrected old goddess beliefs and how this is the year they take over the world. The patriarchs are no doubt interpretiing it to mean something further degrading to women, ordering a more intense focus on her role in things like "subject them, they are about to get out of hand!".  I think if they got their acts together, they would see that the bible is a feminist manifesto in complete support of men. But, the Father allows their ignorance to exist for a reason. I have lerned people get understandings then use it to empower themselves against eachother, what ever they waant to oppress. So, I see why understanding is with held from many. They will only use it as a weapon. And while many are healed, that healing does not inspire or produce faithfulness or appreciation. Relieved of infirmity, they merely persue their evils with renewed vigor. I am human,too, you know. I did it ignorantly, colored by society, we don't know what evil is and we sure as hell cannot stand discipline! To us, it is cruel and unusual. Downright cold and inhuman, we think. Oh, we cannot take even mild correction, nevermind the wheels of true justice. We simply do not understand it in the least. We don't get the half of what we deserve and when we see people that do, we don't perceive it is God warning us to reflect on what we re doing: do you suppose those in Shiloh on whom the tower fell were more sinful than the rest? the one called Jesus asked. When a church burns down, do the other churches of all denominations even bother to reflect on how maybe church practices need to be questioned?
     Another perception that might need clearing: We were told disciples would be brought before judges "as a witness", could it be that "the witness" is that God disciplines His people rather than Him wanting you to bring His name up in poor representation due to poor behvior such as rebelliousness against something?  "Even your enemies will dwell in peace with you" He promised if we behaved, persecution is punishment/discipline, not unavoidable conflict. Yeah, they hate you and might not do more for you  than they have to, but outright injury and incarceration can usually be avoided as with the example of the one called Jesus. They could not lay a hand on him until his time had come to leave this world.
    Fun being online again, even if for a moment, thank you Daddy!