Coming Into My Own

 What life is showing me about me today:

      I'm ready.

"Came out" with a blog post on a public forum and when argument came in response, I didn't even flinch with insecurity or self doubt that had previously plagued me if I had even considered doing such a thing. 

That mark on that cup in the photo is the teeth marks from someone who came to sit, so malnourished, in pain and short of breath from heat exhaustion that they bit down on the cup of cold water I gave them while they drank it. They knew they were safe from criticism for coming to me for that moment of peace in such a state. My cool was not disturbed by worry or fear. There would be no pity they'd have to face. They left when I offered my phone, more refreshment, perspective that might help. They were not angry with me nor was it because I was too pushy, just "I have to decide whether I want to live or die"; they told me. That's truth. I respect that; they didn't want to receive what they weren't positive they would use. I wasn't disturbed by that either. I knew it was not personal, they weren't rejecting me. I had been in that same state of malnourishment and dehydration in oppressive heat not very long ago. I wouldn't have wanted anyone to interfere with my right to choose, either. There really is nothing I can do about that person''s state with any integrity and for the first time in present memory I am O.K. with that.

I am finally the rock I needed to be for myself and for my community. 

I am finally what I was always meant to be.

I am Stacey Marie Bourdeau; Fruitful Star of the Sea by the (Living) Water, One Who Rises Again, Crystalline Star of the Morning