a counselor for me

     A woman mentioning someone planning on going to a counselor today triggered in me some inner inquiry for exploratory purposes, mostly out of curiosity. I was sent to a counselor once as a teen because my mom was going through a phase and it became a "thing". One visit and his response was; "You've got your head on straight, you're emotionally healthy. You don't need to be here. Do you want to come again?". "No". That was it. I went to a counselor once as an adult, just to make an appearance because I had just got out of a nursing home, lost everything going so near to death ad doing so got me a case manager and her access to resources. I gave up rather quickly when it felt like every response to what had been done wrong to me was answered with; "that's not right of them". She wasn't telling me anything I didn't know. I even helped her answers to help her other clients. I'm gonna get me one just to get the paperwork for a therapy pet for my dog if I get into subsidized housing. So, it made me wonder; "What message is that sending to one's inner child?". "I can't handle you alone; you're too much for me". "We're not good enough". "You're too complicated for me".  "I don't want to talk to you, someone else can help me better than you". "I just can't understand you (don't want to)". I guess that's my answer; my concern with choosing counseling is my concern for how my inner aspects will respond to the idea of it and how I really feel about why I'm choosing it.