"They were talking about me as if I wasn't even there"

That'll get us pissed. You've heard the gripe. We do it all the time to our children, especially when they're little. My children have called me on it. We get conditioned to it. We're so conditioned to it that emotional therapy recommends we do it to ourselves. The intellect talks about the anger we're feeling as if our other feeling aspects don't exist. (and ain't that just like a man; no one's feelings exist but his-some women as well) They'll accept the feeling as a message, they just won't say from whom. Some believe it's from God; that whole inner kingdom thing. The rest of the members of our inner kingdoms are our own various aspects: inner child, peanut gallery teenager, parent, grandparent and any spirits dwelling within us. Rather than asking "what is this anger telling me?"; "Thank you for making yourself known to me and protecting me. Would you please share your story with me?". There will be aspects you'll have to win over before they'll share it with you. Imagination is our helper here. Hopefully; you're still packin' one. Imagine yourself witnessing a conversation between toddler and teen, or your intellect and parent aspect as husband and wifely lovers, inner teens as lovers, etc. This places us in observer mode, which makes us receptive. Only when we're in receiving mode do we really "get the message" about anything, let things "hit home". Avoiding that is often the reason for ADHD type conversation bunny hopping as well as why we talk over one another. Observer mode is what we go into when we're reading stories or watching movies. We can watch the stories of our inner aspects via our imagination. Personify them. Interpret your dreams, no matter whose face is being used by your subconscious to denote a female or masculine aspect, to be you watching your own movie. Rather than talking about your emotions, talk to your emotions and the aspects generating them. There is where we find peace.