Letting this one stew in me for a moment as I face a repeat experience. I know I fear what my anger draws and so I do not feel safe in it. Powerlessness when anger potentially jeopardizes my resources, family make-up, etc. Not even just anger, but just standing up for myself confidently. Feel good about myself only to have rug pulled out. Letting others serve me, which usually results in loss and penalties because they're unreliable, saying no gracefully and getting judged as lazy, irresponsible for not being dependent upon them. Yup, present circumstances chock full of familiar discomforts.
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