Allowing children to decide for themselves

What a cold slap in the face it is to spend 18 years being treated like a "child"(one's whole life) doing everything; heart, body, and soul, to embody what that is "supposed" to mean, to please, to shield. 18 years of devotion to an image only to be told and forced to act like an "adult". Feels like a 'Hit by Mack truck' betrayal. It's not needed. There are few who will sincerely argue that we are not a society of children turning to nanny states, nanny doctors, nanny experts while trying to act like adults, hating ourselves for wanting to actually be the adults who know when we need a day off, a lightened load, go into self care mode, sympathy, empathy, etc. That is why when I hear that my children cannot choose to live an entrepreneurial existence at their age, (choose their own hours, get to know and trust themselves and set their own prices), me; "and ya think I'm crazy and not making sense".
We don't train a racehorse by working them as yearlings behind a plow. We don't train a child to be an adult by treating them like a "child". We discern what they're ready to handle and give them examples of how to handle it and then we put them in the field to act it out. If we've facilitated inner clarity, they can take it from there. They'll truly know what's best for them and experiences of success are for them. They have no problem choosing their own idea of success and working toward it.