Therapy pets and not knowing

    My daughter could speak before 2 years of age. She just never talked to me or anyone, for that matter, until she was 2. It was concern for another that motivated her to finally voice a concern. She was never in want of hugging, kissing, holding, snuggling. She is now 11 years old. She is suddenly open to touching. She initiates touch. It was the coming to our lives of our pets. First it was two albino rats and then the puppy she chose and named. It was my responding to them with affection, her witnessing how it felt to have something of her own shown physical affection, that she put herself in their place in her imagination and decided she wanted to try some for her own. She began to reach out. Just a quick touch with the words "You're beautiful". Then the resting of a hand. After a while, she'd let me rest my hand on her as well. It's become snuggling. She's beginning to express aggressive touch as well. No doubt she has repressed anger towards me she's pent up. We all do, no matter how much better we are at parenting than our parents, our children are always going to be wounded by us. Their cognitive functions aren't fully developed and perceptions are limited. They well and truly cannot understand or accept everything we do no matter how clear and appropriate it is. It's not that we can't be perfect parents; it's that as children, we more limited in our translation of motivation for actions. Thankfully, I have been aware enough to enable my children to be comfortable with not understanding something, with not knowing.
   I didn't even realize that until this very moment. My children are growing up outside of the mainstream experience. Phrases and terms common to it's culture just don't enter ours. Sex is natural and the expression of it healthy in our experiences. My children aren't exposed to sexual insults, cliches or fetishes and their resulting diseases and discomforts. I remembered my cousins writing something about a blow job on the driveway at an aunt's house and I had no idea what it meant at the time. To empower my children in the face of other children who would tell sex jokes or use euphemisms my children wouldn't understand, I told them to respond with: "I probably don't need to know. I protect my mind from bad ideas and that does not make me stupid. It makes me smarter".  One of the major challenges of personal spiritual and inner development is finally becoming comfortable with the unknown; not having the answers for everything, not knowing what's ahead. Adults around the world find it near impossible and yet my 11 year old has already got it. Being comfortable with not knowing allows room for answers to flow in where "I already know this" blocks them. Up in this house, we're brilliant!