Trapped by compassion and learned something new

     I was ready for bed many hours ago. Then with the children it was one thing after another. Tired, then patience tried and makers with their dislodged aspects come back in; anger doesn't come any sharper or quicker than when we're used to ultra clarity and we're clearly being focused upon with the not good feeling attention of "others". Thankfully, it's conscious to know exactly why it's there. It's not going to be inappropriately applied. Surround every bit of it in love, breath deep; I remind myself.  I've reached my limit would be what I would normally say at that point. I realize I hadn't reached my limit; I had reached my clarity! I had been keeping Facebook friends through outbursts and memes that shout at "you", accuse "you", or flip "you" off. A friend's teen daughter with tongue out, flipping off gangsta style, dude angry at at fires choking him blaming unconscious treatment of earth, and friend resentful of repressing her own magical qualities wishes she had saved proof to shame haters. Nothing like logging in to be flipped off, have hopes for my death, and spit at. No, I compassionately understand and know for certain it's not personal, it's not directed at me. It's not me she's being spiteful at, it's not me who is killing his environment, and it's not me who denies the validity of or condemns her belief in her magical aspects. Is it really compassionate to make allowances for being randomly targeted because I used to be like that and just because they were friends with things in common who are just dealing with their inner demons? Where's my self compassion, I remind myself. "Hey! Dude is shooting a gun randomly into the crowd. If you're compassionate, you'll stay in the crowd". Hell no! Yes, I used to be just as projective. I didn't have someone in my environment showing the way, being as facilitating as I am to become self reflective, responsible. I stopped when I began to be exposed to this other culture. They chose not to. Commonality ends there. So does my compassion for others when it's depriving myself of it. So, yup, finally woke to need to unfriend them.
    I had also been subjecting myself to awakening people with a very long way to go who ask for input, humor the input, while not really wanting it. They'll say thank you; it helped. It's not really absorbed; it's hollow. It didn't really make a difference. They didn't really want it to. I do it because they have material resources I don't. Do I really want to be counted as one of them? No. This initiated an idea for my own platform. Writing about my yesterday is one thing, continue living in it another. Taking the joy and excitement with me. Dumping the unnecessary baggage.
    After an experience following the above, clarification occurred on something I had been wondering. I would do something and then the feeling that would have initiated that action in a different energy would try to come in. I'd wonder; "I wasn't feeling that way when I said that, so why is the smell of that feeling which would have motivated someone else to the same action with poor intentions trying to ride in now?". For example, I might notice a change and say; "oh, you cut your hair!". Someone else would want to make the person with the new haircut feel insecure and so point it out with the same words. Just like emotions come up and THEN thoughts come to mind as an excuse to feel them and cause the momentum of the emotion to increase; words come out or action might be taken and THEN a feeling might come to be embodied as an excuse to continue the momentum. Law of attraction finds path of least resistance. Fearless, clarified beings lose a lot of filter/resistance. In tonight's case, someone has a strong resentment against governance. She's a rebellious teenager resenting herself for letting an ex govern her. She elicited a question through me from the law of attraction and the feeling of resentment tried to sneak into me. I'm no longer blind to my own motives and know when something is rising up from within me and when it is trying to find root from outside of me. My lower vibe from exhaustion put me within it's reach. Yet again, the low vibe brought me a gift of clarification. Quite the productive night!
     Thank you tired and unpleasant aspects! I'm back to my new baseline vibe!