Sorry, not sorry- red flags

   A post showed up on my Facebook timeline as a memory that is unfortunately, worth repeating:

The only true apology is a change in behavior.
Apologies that come with excuses, justification and denial of our experienced feelings in response to an expression are NOT sincere, no matter how sincerely expressed. It is an inability to accept what we just did to another while feeling negative about being informed we did exactly that which we "would never!" do.

That's another heads up in relationships: people who say "I would NEVER do that to you!" are about to. Anyone who tells me who they are is trying to consciously or not, trying to control our perception of them. It's a relationship no-no. I will discern for my perfectly capable self who you are in my experience, thank you.

People will never treat you better than they will treat themselves. If they live in a pigsty, they will turn your home into one and blame you for not wanting to live in one. You're the bad guy, the one with the problem, which is true: you're expecting them not to, which would require change which is not unconditional love or in any way realistic. Law of Attraction: that which you resist persists. 

Someone being a rug for you, doing everything for you, only interested in your perspective; they have no boundaries, no self respect. They will naively suffocate you, invade your space, and parent you. They will say you don't love them if you do not want the attention, dinner at 5 very night and lack of personal space. They'll accuse you of cheating, not loving them if you don't completely lose yourself in them and their dysfunctions. They'll do it to you even if you do; they're lost in theirs perpetually anyways.