Beyond Wounded

     There comes the moment in that cycle of "You can't do it without me" and the responding "Fuck you, I'm the brightest light(best) you've ever known" and door slammings when during the in-between, it hits us; "I am the brightest light he's ever known". "He really is only as good as he is with me. He IS a creep to other people. Let HIM do the burning. To give him the love he needs, I should set him free". There is the softening. You've heard yourself and you know, 'like grandmother Lava" it is truth. Next comes the fairy godmother kiss to his forehead before you turn and leave. He's dumbfounded into silence. Quick to recover his senses he demands; "What was that?!" to your back. Your pace doesn't slow, though it is slow in it's resounding peace. The door doesn't slam. You close it gently, never making eye contact again. You bless him and hope the best for him as you swell and rise, saying to yourself in wonderment; "I was the brightest light". You'll never have to live that cycle again. In the days to come, you'll get "You ARE the brightest light I've ever known" from men. If he comes back, it can only be if it's for you to welcome his risen phoenix that is wanting to share acknowledgement of your rightness and it's own realizations, fuller embodiment. That's the only real apology and no apology needed because it grew us both.

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