The lotus continues to push up through the mud

      I woke with the bitter hatred evolved from the helplessness felt as a child and not hearing one's own voice enough. The habit of logging on, even when feeling down and knowing the memes from "gurus" are going to irritate, popular songs shared f unhealthy love trigger a pointing out of how wrong it all is, the biggest news flashes even make it on my remote from mainstream timeline to emphasis the evils in the world. So, I sat with this bitter hatred. I explained it to a neighbor. As I allowed it to be without trying to change it, resist it not feed it, I did not allow it to overpower me. I allowed it to deliver it's message and it left me. It leaves a wake of rawness and sadness. It is released. As I release it in me I release it in my children, especially my oldest where ever she may be. I'll go spend time at Pintrest  where there's nothing but dresses I like, jewelry, travel destinations, and camping hacks. I give myself peace with the world around me.
   With a positive energy flowing through me again, I remember the premonition vision the Druid had concerning myself and my children. All my daughters were there in one house gathered around a table doing what young women do. He saw himself in it. Indeed, we can change our trajectory and mine has changed completely. I do still have hope for that imagining prompted by that foretelling. That's another reason I wonderingly expect for his return into my experience one day. How odd it was that he would have that vision and yet back out of the soul contract because he saw the relationship was "termed". One would entertain the idea that maybe a temporary break and then reunion was in the original plan, yet it had not occurred to him to put two and two together. Ah, well. Pintrest was delightful to revisit, full of my favorite style of clothes which i ended up receiving and wearing gloriously for 7 months in the desert where I ad owned my own home, fully sustainable off grid and an unconditional income. I could feel the feelings I felt living so physically, emotionally, energetically free!

Deserving is never the issue. We do not ask if the bird deserves to eat nor if the plant deserves the rain and sun.

Ubuntu; "I am because we are" could also be said "I am because you are" I lift myself when I lift you

We are our own best friend. As such, we are best friend to all we encounter.

One day, I shall commission a bus from from my friend Nada and truly be a "Bus Momma" https://facebook.com/jaime.jensen.7

The quickest, easiest prayer to have answered is the wondering of a feeling. "I wonder what it will feel like to have implicit trust n myself?" The one that most significantly impacted me was when I was in a Christian paradigm and wondered what it will feel like when Satan was gone forever. There was a lightness in my boy as it began to levitate.

For some reason, I told my dog who was waiting for me to take her out; "You can pee outside, but I cannot not. Well, actually, I do have a long skirt on, so the cameras wouldn't know what I was doing". Squatting to pet a dog in a long skirt which naturally spreads out like a tent when we lower ourselves raises no eyebrows in public. I've done it before ;)