An awards ceremony

January 18, 2020

Got the info today that Tuesday is big 6th grade awards ceremony at school. My children like to know what to expect, so I let my daughter know that her class might go to the auditorium and what normally to expect. She flipped. I understood why. We talked about it and I gave her the ol'; good things happen to us when we can be happy for others getting what makes them happy perspective, even if it wouldn't be something we would be happy to experience.
Later, I realized; those children are getting awards, attention, praise, acceptence, etc because they excelled at complying/conforming/accepting conditioning better than the rest. My children get full acceptence, attention, praise, etc as a natural right, unconditionally. They don't have to earn it or prove they deserve it or have to compete for it. Only one can get the "best at...." award in school. Praise only comes if they're "good" or get it "right". "Bad" grades and shame come if they get it "wrong" or "misbehave". They must choose between being themselves or being "good" and "right" according to someone else. If they don't conform, they are punished, lose "privileges" and must endure showers of shame infused reasons, accusations of bad intentions, name-calling, humiliation as it is done in front of and spoken of to others.
My children have a parent who can observe what Law of Attraction is drawing, intuit empathically, and recognize from experience the underlying cause of any unhappy, fearful behavior and feeling for the inspired words and actions facilitate the resolving, processing, and integration of aspects being triggered with the deepest respect. There is no such thing as "consequences" in their experience, so the very idea of the reward-punishment relationship "style" is extremely offensive to them as well as brutal for them to observe and/or experience. Even an "A++" is like being smeared with dog feces. They've been measured and they feel it. I don't care if you find me innocent. I'm pissed you judged.