"WE only want what's best for you"

Just get done transferring 2 months worth of my posts to my blog, amazed by the sheer amount of mountains moved, transformation within, when I'm hit with a mess. They aren't kidding when they say that which we focus upon gains momentum. I've been focused on gaining clarity and the momentum of what can be clarified is intense. I've done more in two months than many could do in an entire lifetime. And I've been doing it in between focusing on mundane things and overseeing the mundane and evolutionary needs of two children. Incredibly amazing. Next up: my inner mess surrounding "We only want what's best". Hearing it makes me sick. I have to face a hard truth. For most, wanting what's best for others means wanting to feel good about one's self in the presence of the other. Since feeling good is an inside job, there is absolutely nothing wanted for another to do that is going to accomplish this. The one wanting what's best perceives, consciously or subconsciously, that the other's presence is preventing them from feeling good about themselves. If I do what is best for me, I feel good about myself which allows me to feel good in another's presence, which leaves room for them to feel good about themselves. That is the most I could ever do to help another feel good about themselves. We can never "make" someone feel good abut themselves. They're either going to allow what we say or do to trigger their already present feel good or they won't. If it's not simply asking what is wanted and needed and then making it possible-anything beyond that-it's purely selfish. It's acting in one's own best interests in attempting to feel good about themselves. Part of the mess is my wanting to buy into it. It's my humoring it. I bend before it because I wanted it to be true of certain people. I didn't hold out for those who truly mean it by giving unconditionally. I didn't hold out because I didn't believe it was possible. There was too much evidence to the contrary, too many experiences. I notice I'm turning to past tense. I believed enough to test it. I believed enough to allow myself to recognize it. I recognized it enough to appreciate and acknowledge it enough to prefer it and draw more of it. I began to insist it is possible to a degree. It's moving. It's gaining momentum. Another sleep and it will be reset.People ARE giving unconditionally. They ARE seeking ways to to respond affirmatively to the answers I give. I Do know what I'm saying. I DO know what I'm doing. I DO know what I'm asking. Self confidence builds confidence from others in me. Tomorrow morning, I'll burst out with clarity.