Meeting the Makers Begins for me (long!)

I'm just puttin' along, laughing, doing the good vibe thing when I'm suddenly nauseous. My stomach churning like it's gonna hurl up something. Then it rises, looking for purchase; primal fear. Sheer terror.
This is where the unconscious start being angry, paranoid, accusing, rioting. The Earth shakes, floods, lightening. People huddled in hiding.
This is where the energy transmutors begun singing and dancing. Tribes are gathering around fires to move the energy. The Earth is releasing. Big things happening.
This is one of those times I know it's not me. It's not latching on to anything in me. The Earth it's self is shaking.
She, too, had aspects leave in the higher vibe blast and won't be re-embodying them.
Welcome to the cleansing.
New life forms are arriving. Pure energy. Ready to meet the makers.
Maybe it's just me moving out the energy from watching all those horror movies.
Now comes the little intuitive girl feelings of being a liar, maybe, guilty as if she has brought the suffering herself. Not understanding that her awareness of what is coming, her crying in sympathy, is moving enough of that energy herself to spare everything around her. The guilt also comes from remembering the times she wished they'd all just go away with all their anger and fear. Natural disasters would be an answer to not only her own prayers. Death to the enemies, death to the unbelievers, means death to me if I am my own worst enemy. Prayers for Paradise and Heaven on Earth are prayers for Armageddon first. We are praying for the death of our fellow man. A crime for which we must pay or just a natural process we couldn't accept and formed judgement around?

What life is showing me about me these days:
I gripe about my van not getting fixed, chafing at the limitation. Things like that usually fall into place more quickly. Finally the response came; we WANT you to make friends with (these people). True, "they" got me. I'm so emotionally self sufficient that a quick visit to the memes on my FB timeline is enough to remind me who I am and what's really happening on an unclear day. Yup, life would have to force me on this one because I the past, "these people" wouldn't have been in the right place to remind me of anything other than the product of dysfunction I was.
Number 2) This point of elevation is where I used to shrink back into "make yourself small" because intellectual assault was taken personally by my emotionally insecure version. My confidence in inner knowing was zip/0. It would immediately cloud my brain, which I was also insecure about due to intellectual abuse. Duck and hide when the big dogs catch wind that I'm soaring. Now, I'm so emotionally comfortable and have complete confidence in my intellect to be capable of expressing and defending my inner truth that the big dogs of the past don't shake me. I chase them right off the porch, gently and compassionately or harsher if need be without guilt, pity, or insecurity. They taught me. (Yesterday's post where I channelled: 'ready to meet the makers). The next phase was: once I realize that this only means bigger dogs will be drawn, I would back down just to save myself the trouble: better safe than sorry. I don't need the trouble. Now; I shrug, "O.K.". The bigger dogs may come, but so will the bigger allies. I've made peace with living in 3D, a world of contrast, duality. Lack of fear of the contrasting aspect I do not like means they lose my attention and thus their presence relatively quickly. We don't avoid outdoors because once in a while there are mosquitoes. There's too much wealth, which I now can see, in being out in the natural elements. Plateau below!

When I remind people of their rights and they respond; "It's my job". I'm at the "You're under duress, not of sound mind, thus unfit to make any choices concerning your life, nevermind mine" point. That bio sperm donor I called Dad ain't here to slap my face and put my @ss on the ground for saying "Be a man and defend us!". You're afraid you'll lose your job, home, be hungry? Welcome to my life. You're a coward and enable the empowerment of others to use intimidation, use force, create fear in yourself and others. You defend your slavery when you attack my liberty. I'm done enabling. These days I'm into empowering. Do what you want to. Don't want to have my back ? "Get thee behind me". Just because your insecure whiney @sses think you are incapable of doing what's in yours and your children's best interests and so give up your responsibilities to doctors, psychologists, judges, school systems, everybody and anybody, doesn't mean I should or have to. This is your loving kick in the @ss and slap upside yo head. Bury your head in the sand, hide under the rocks cuz my makers have come for me and I'm standing. Spirit sparks are flyin'. I'm taking off my iron mask and shedding my skin.

It felt so good today to notice a change. A disagreeable change in matters threatened to upset everything I got started. As I said the words; "This is where I usually leave ...", the feelings of upset were real while the words felt hollow. No resonance. This was not going to be same ol', same ol'. An inspiration came to me once I got home. While I researched it for validity, I noticed the usual desperate, insecure, grasping at straws feeling was absent. In it's stead was a knowing the means was there, I was just "looking it up in the index". Sure enough, I immediately found it. Nothing we're doing or want to achieve has to change. We just need to change the paperwork; which, synchronistically, gives me more empowerment with which to empower my children.
I was not mistaken: it is being given me to experience life outside the influence of fear. My crying was not fear, it was natural response of sadness at perceiving a legitimately sad event that I was told would happen. The hollow feeling was the lack of resonance signaling that the event wasn't going to happen.
Now the smell of opposition comes in. That does not mean it will be embodied by anyone when my solution is presented. It only means it's in the nonphysical and there's time to do the inner and spiritual actions to disengage it. I got this

It is commonly believed it is our trials that develope our charector, that the things I went through are what made me brave. Adding the clarity of crone; the answer to that is NOPE.
Our trials in childhood conditioned us to expectations that became self-fulfilling prophesies. I was brave to begin with. I knew wrong and was brave enough to say "Be a man" and got a slap in the face. When he looked me in the eye as he grabbed my breasts and said "Go ahead, tell your mom", I was brave enough to do it. Now I know what he knew; my mother didn't love me enough to care about anything but herself. The only thing I learned from my trials was "don't act brave and don't expect those you should, to actually have your back".
THAT, my friends is how it is that evil spirits are our makers. The closed minds I'm about to present an out if the box idea to are my makers being embodied.
By all that I am, I Will NOT give them credit for making me strong. I will not wear their scars as badges. Welcome to the next evolution of the WILD WOMAN. I don't need scars to prove to myself or anyone else I'm Man. I didn't grow brave BECAUSE of them. I've decided to go back to being brave despite them and the credit given them. They weren't my makers; they were my undoers and it's the powerlessness of what they had a hand in creating in me is now known by me to be of no value to me.
It's snowing outside. I'm going to go look at that while these energies and realizations go for a ride.

Again, the difference between attachment parenting and let them cry it out thing is brought before me and my crone clarity. I was told not to continuously hold my "colicky" oldest; she'd always be clingy. No. I held her continuously anyways and nowadays she's no where to be seen. Her break for independence was so confident in her, so determined, she had to make up lies about me to assert it and limit herself. She KNEW my loving arms would always be open again.
People say coddled children grow up to be lazy. Consciously aware people call them Kings and Queens. They stopped buying into the illusion that love and life could be earned, fought for and won. They have the scars to disprove that for them. To call them lazy is self condemnation alone. Maybe some ARE going through depression because they have yet to realize this fully about themselves. We are industrious creators by nature and the truth always comes out. The "do nothing" phase is temporary. The truly lazy are those still buying into the lie, following the script and struggling and fighting and proving. They lack imagination or the courage to use it, lack the desire to make the effort to reignite it in themselves, to industriously "unfuck" themselves.
Kings and Queens, that's what it means.

It is commonly believed we gain empathy only by experiencing the same things. Some of us refuse to believe we can accept authentic support from those who haven't physically walked in our shoes. I've got news:
Empathy is a natural inborn human quality. We can energetically put ourselves anywhere at any time and empathically share an experience thus gaining the perspective.
Some won't allow themselves to because they don't need to. Others resist it because they don't want to and don't want it. This can be perfectly healthy. The only time it becomes a problem is when they use their refusal to attempt to infringe upon another, force conformity/ cooperation/compliance/deny what we have a right to.
Again: empathy IS. Trauma is NOT required to engage it, though engaging in it may be traumatic and reason to protect one's own health thus unnecessary. Not engaging it does not mean there's a need to threaten sovereignty or deny needs.
Feeling my Queen today

The "they're doing so wonderfully, they can take all of it!" beast showing it's face again. Boring same ol' story, either kids get taken to force it or I play along with/humor it. Boring end: I get called after a few weeks to come fix it, it's all my fault, I ruined them. No I don't and no I didn't. Failing to admit they took something wonderful and destroyed it, they project it all and I become their villain in their heads and to create enough noise to drown out their conscience, they recruit friends, families, authorities and suddenly "the whole world" is against me. *Snoring*
The only thing adding burden to my "wonderfully done" accomplished was exhaust me to the point I began manifesting qualities that lowered people's expectations of me and thus my ability to take on more that I COULD handle wonderfully. So, no, I won't humor the beast in reference to my children again. We do, in fact, know our limitations and can set them as healthy boundaries we can expect to have respected.
So, I present the choices to my children today that they may have another glimpse tomorrow of what will be lost, then a whole 4 day weekend to emotionally/empathically go through the experience before arriving at a decision. Because I have respected them so, they have no problem imaginatively accessing the full spectrum of scenarios along with the full spectrum of potential results. Definite King and Queen material.

All this Queenly clarity was triggered up into my consciousness by a dream experience I woke with this morning. A priest and nun were shaming me where I was living. I wasn't feeling it and I knew no matter how well I explained it, how clear my perspective, they were not going to get it. They were kicking me out even if the truth was recognized by their repressed, abused conciences. Next scene we're homeless again. Not even my heart is hurting over it. I am being accused and just not feeling it. Just another person beyond their own access to reason. Redundant experience ahead. No longer arguing or hoping against it. No grasping at straws to try to ease it or prevent it. Fully accepted. My solution, no matter how solid and good feeling, rewarding or exciting is not wanted by them. They like the limited choices because it's "safer". Plus; they have no concept of the feelings of solidity/groundedness, goodness, rewarding, excitement to the degree that I experience. They don't believe anything better can exist for them and because they can't imagine what it would feel like, it can't exist until they allow it. "Be comfortable with the unknown" comes into play here. And yes, it's almost instinctively a threat. We lost that ability as children. They haven't reached the point of "anything is better than this". Even getting hit in a different body part brings relief to the one that has had it's fill. "Please, just abuse a different aspect if this must continue". So, yeah, the dream showed me the inner newly blossomed crone Queen going through the maiden and mother experience with them. The results weren't any different, just the feelings and responses to it. Those were brought to my woken from sleep brain which added it's own dimensions to it all. Therein lies the golden egg of physicality and human experience; the potentency of the flesh. It brings it all together to make sense; using emotional responses to recognize truth and core to affirm it. Fully functioning system! Nap to reset my reality.

Some of us form the belief we cannot be believed in unless that person has gone through it, too. It's an inner child thing born of "OMG, it's not possible to survive this" and adults who want no part of reliving/empathizing with it. We'll even go so far as prejudice, elitism and higher status for experiencing the most least relatable thing. We become exclusive. They're the gangs and secret clubs.
Knowing we can graciously share belief without empathizing releases both victim and those who could serve them. The victim widens their avenues for resources and the other doesn't have to fear having to lower their vibe to gain empathy. It's O.K. to not want to "go there" and it's O.K. to be there or have been there.

It occurs to me; I entered these circumstances purely for myself. I needed to break greatly. I got what I needed for so many levels in so many ways. It's been huge and I am hugely grateful.
That's not all that happened. I triggered a CPS investigator to the eye opening "holy crap, I took this job to save children from abuse but found myself an abuser". She left her job and is probably beggining the tearing up of the roots within her.
Someone closed off to other ways chose not to fight me over mine. They're well on their way to deepened self exploration, opening up their box.
Someone else is triggered into exploring value.
A neighbor is being introduced to continued momentum in their own increasing self realization.
My children have become more dynamic.
I'm sure there's even more I do not see.
These are the side effects of my being purely selfish and self centered in seeing to my needs. These are the side affects of my self realization and focused, passionate dedication to it; my priority, my kingdom first choice and mentality.
If my job is done here, my job is truly done here. We can all pat ourselves on the back. I have indeed gifted the community that has gifted me.

Having seen enough garage doors slammed down and wool pulled back over eyes (literal energetic visual) in response to my rabbit hole jumping expertise, I know beyond doubt one cannot force anyone. No, I don't even try or expect. Having had violence enacted toward me for the same reason, I lost any desire to make it my mission in life. I don't expect anyone to go down the rabbit hole with me. I only want to freely do what I do best; rabbit hole navigator. First my own and then helping those who want it.
Just because I do, it doesn't mean you have to. I know many parents drilled it into their children that they can because millions of other children are doing and have done it. They'll even add ; "and it didn't hurt them". Oh yeah? I KNOW I don't have to pull out statistics of the diseases, prescription meds, mental illnesses, chronic conditions, addictions for anyone to get it. Myself and my children are usually the only ones in our environments not on any medications and/or health practices to cope with conditions. And I'm the one that can't be believed? I'll give ya more credit than that.
Life can be luxurious and I'll go so far as to say it was always meant to be. Go check out Gucci and all those insanely luxurious experiences. It's in so much abundance, they can afford to give it away at award ceremonies. That stuff ends up donated to second hand stores and shelters.
No, you don't have to go there with me. Nor do I have to short change myself because "everyone else" does. I especially don't have to short change my children just because "everyone else does".
I am perfectly capable of allowing others to do so without argument, judgement, and/or influence. I freed me, I leave you be. Just because I'm doing it in front of you, it does not mean I'm making you. "Everyone else" refuses to,

Ugh, self correction. Social organizations use the excuse "we need to use our resources to help those who truly need it, so if we find out you don't, you're out". I hate being treated with such suspicion. In my case, you can bet your sweet ass I would not turn to these organizations unless I felt I obsoletely had nothing else to turn to. Then along comes a sweet little local using up resources while family is buying her dinner out, she's spending several nights a week overnight at family member's houses. I get beaten with "we're breaking the rules for you" when what they're doing is make sense and being authentically reasonable. So, if they're breaking the rules for me, how dare I complain that sweet little local gets rules bent for her, and not *really* bent (in their mind). She's just allowed greater freedom within the rules, which they would never acknowledge is greater. It's true: we have the right to be free in choosing who we share our resources with. They have complete freedom to be hypocrites. How other people use that freedom is none of my concern. I'm getting what I need. There's still this crystal clear sense of "that ain't right" and no resonance in the idea that I'm being unreasonable or wrong. Her belief she's doing nothing wrong will be rewarded, just like those who know how to synch their lies with the truth vibe can get away with it intentionally. They just have to reach "belief" while disembodying "lie". It's a common psychic technique learnt from narcasstic parents. This little girl is employing it and the organization doesn't care because she's local; "one of our own".
Making peace with it. Might not still save me. Spirits hate to be seen in their wrongs. That's where all those stories of "kill every last witness" come from. So long as a witness exists, the wrong doer is looking in the mirror.
"Be good to the stranger among you" gets thrown out the window. So just my witnessing it destroys any generosity they wanted to be able to embody.

People find it hard to believe I would have enemies. I'm not paranoid about it and one of my naive mistakes was believing I couldn't. I certainly don't feel like it. "You're imagining things", I've been dismissed. Only to be proven right. Those who are conscious will finally see it, believe me, be shocked by what they're seeing in their neighbors,(it's so unlike them) and give me a hand.

This is how it goes: I'm one of those "lights of the world". As one guy warned his friend; "don't get caught up in her aura". others at first sight; it was "Bruja!" Point being; I have big, bright, feel good energy emanating into my entire environment. The even slightly intuitive know my abundance flows into their reality because of my abundant embodiment and basically, I share everything delightfully. I'm generous, they feel generous. I feel safe and secure, they feel safe and secure. I feel loved, they feel loved. I feel healthy, they feel healthy. They don't want all that good shit to leave. Can't blame them. oh, but they want nothing more than to go back to sleep. I'm self reflective, they become self reflective. Everything they've been repressing, not reflecting on, is right in front of them. The inner conflict arises. Want to good feelings, don't want the mirror. Want her to stay, but must drive her away. Want the material things, must deprive her so she can't leave. All that inner conflict gets projected at me. I show up again and they're reminded of the conflict they feel It's uncomfortable. They want nothing to do with me. They might send a few pennies to ease the conscience. "Just go quickly".
This is all resolved within me. My heart is free. My stomach is not roiling. Lovin' the clarity of my crone energy!