Owning my presence

     When growing up in an abusive environment, one rarely wants to even be noticed. As one with what my mom called in me "presence", I had to be especially skilled at being unnoticed. Entering a room, having it go silent and all heads turning caused a panic attack of monumental proportions. My presence was a source of pain in those days. It led to paranoia at times even. I learned to act like I was embodying my presence, could hold my head high and imagine no one noticed, ignoring responses, going blind.
      As I gained more confidence in my own skin, no matter how much I tried not to threaten people's comfort zones, I would be accused; "You're taking over my house!". I'd have no clue how that would come about. Then I began to understand and accept; their children and pets, friends and neighbors would just like me better, be more comfortable with me, be different people around me. The complainer themselves would begin to feel differently about themselves. I was doing nothing wrong. I was just more respectful and present, less demanding, less judgmental, more authentic. I was not taking over their house, the qualities I embody were being responded to and drawing the same out in those around me. They just weren't recognizing their own qualities because it had been so long since they had experienced them!
 As I've gotten more comfortable within myself and learned to how to recreate my reality I can own my presence, be responsible for and with it. It's not my fault someone else feels like I'm taking over anything. At the same time; yes, I have a very powerful and influential presence. I've become wise to it. I can even own owning my presence by using it to establish healthy boundaries. I can play with it amongst those with consciousness and awareness of their own equally powerful and influential presence.
Having fun with it!