On FX's version of "A Christmas Carol"

Watched this last night. Loved how it was about unconditional giving; not even the request that they stay with him in the end. Epiphanies don't change us over night, they are the begginings of change. Completely letting go is the only way to prevent further abuse as we allow those changes to continue.
The history of Christmas in the U.S.A. is a history of it's relationship with it's poverty. (Christmas was outlawed at one time and brought back at the time of the writing of this story specifically for the rich to give to the poor). Good to see this deeper understanding of gifting! U.S.A. is growing up!

It occured to me the other day how blind we can be to how we choose what we take as lessons from life experiences.
I had made a choice and only three people knew of it: my mother, my father, my friend who held my hand through it despite her religious beliefs against it.
A girl who was older and popular, who I always thought beyond me because of her status- classier, from a "better" family, even dated the guy I had had a crush on since kindergarten; she approached me for the first time ever to tell me how she admired me for the choice I had made. She, for all the same reasons I made the choice, wished she could have made the same choice.
I immediately focused on the embarrassment that someone I secretly admired knew my "dirt" and the betrayal of confidence; gossip. I wanted to know how she knew. I hated my mother for telling her friend in front of her daughter who was my friend. They all spread it! I took from all that that I was not loved, protected, that betrayal of confidence is what I could expect. I hated gossip, learned to expect it. I went henceforth into life experiencing plenty of it.
The other day I realized I had been admired by one whom I had admired. I had inspired courage in others to make choices that went against the beliefs and morals of our families and communities. I had drawn to me and inspired in another a non-judgmental, loyal friend who would hold my hand.
I am an inspirational woman! All these years I had missed that about about me- it went right over my head. I have loyalty in my life. I have a support system (as disembodied as it has been). I have admiration in my life. I have compassion in my life. All the things I thought were always missing were things I simply missed seeing, appreciating, realizing.
Watching FX's version of "A Christmas Carol" tonight reminded me to post this because it was his same affliction. Thankfully, it didn't take ghosts summoned by someone I had shamed, degraded, humiliated or anything. Just subtle whooshing in.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNxZazunHF0&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR109fS2OM7fWVDaQD8ttqB0n41esKFKecFGOCKfGesK--lJgh1pckSPU84